"Areanian Space Flu." Doctor McCoy nodded to the Hypo before injecting it into Spock. "You'll be feverous and delusional for twenty-four hours."

At 'delusional' the Vulcan's eyes widened but the hypo was already at his arm. "How will I adequately command the ship?"

McCoy gave Spock a pointed frown.

"You won't. That's the point, just play it up more than it really is, got it? The damn stuff may not even work on you."

Spock rolled down his sleeve and McCoy moved to the next victim of the injection.

The plan was set in motion and soon the unsuspecting crew, (Unsuspecting except senior command), were all delirious and staggering around with high fervors.

McCoy soon logged that the flu was out of 'control' and called for Federation to bring the antidote. He himself was the only one not infected and practically ran the ship as the delirious Vulcan retired to his room to suffer alone and leave the fate of the ship in another's command.

Starfleet was notified, a ship was sent with the cure and the crew was saved.

Senior command then met to cook up a new troublesome problem to make Starfleet mad. As normal, the doctor led the discussion and Spock continued to be nervous about the entirety of the plan.

Illogical as it was, he went with it. This was the idea: Make the Enterprise and her crew appear so completely useless that Starfleet has to send Jim Kirk back.

So far, Starfleet was defiantly pissed.

Next plan.

"Sir, the communications are down." The Scotsman informed the Vulcan as they entered a planet's atmosphere.

McCoy shook his head. "Too bad, we need to go explore the damn planet anyways…"

Hikaru Sulu shot him a glare as if to reprimand his bad acting.

He doctor widened his blue eyes right back at the Asian and then turned to Spock and prompted.

"So you're sending a landing party down, right, captain?"

The Vulcan swiveled his chair to look back at the screen.

"Send landing party." He almost growled. He hated playing an incompetent commander but continued to remind himself that Jim would soon be back… that was his only comfort.

When mentioning his unease with the doctor, McCoy would only make fun of him, or do other bonesish things… after all, he wasn't the one taking the blame.

Long story short, landing party got stranded and the enterprise had to leave due to missing dylithium crystals so Starfleet had to pick up the abandoned landing party… and poor Captain Spock was once again, yelled at.

This pattern continued to all of Doctor McCoy's crazy schemes.

Spock was left at a planet accidentally, Mr. Scott turned up drunk too many times, the engines failed, Lieutenant Uhura was incapable of deciphering Klingon from German, Sulu's garden grew evil plants and so on and so forth. Chekov suggested Tribbles, but that was quickly shot down – that was one thing Spock would not allow.

Finally Starfleet had had enough.

"Captain Spock, you're ship is a pain in the ass, what the hell is going on." The angry admiral seemed to glare right through the screen.

Spock furrowed his pointed brows and mocked concern. "I do not understand, everything is standard."

The frown lines deepened on the man's face and he leaned closer. "Over the past month, your crew's performance has dropped rapidly. Now they say you're one of the best commanders but I sure as hell am not convinced, captain."

Spock took the blow and inhaled sharply. "I am… displeased to hear that, sir."

"Now you better clean you're act up, or you'll be more then displeased with the consequences. What is it that drove you and you're crew crazy in the last month?"

Working his jaw for a second, Spock then looked up. "Would you like to take a guess, admiral?"

Eye's narrowing he glared at the Vulcan and shook his head. "Watch the way you talk, Vulcan. Starfleet has considered you're inability and is sending a new captain for the Enterprise."

All movement on the bridge froze as all eyes turned to the screen.

Dr. McCoy took two angry steps forward.

"Like hell you won't!" He growled, "Why, I'll be damned-"

"Leonard!" Spock snapped, brown eyes boring into blue.

The fuming doctor took a step back – chest rising and falling quickly.

"Sir," The Vulcan addressed the screen. "With all due respect, I speak for all of the Enterprise personal when I say, we will serve under no other Captain then James Kirk."

The admiral chuckled. "They said you'd say that. So, if you don't want a new captain, you'll mop up your mistakes and wait for him back. I have someone here to talk since into you're damn brains."

Jim Kirk stepped into view and Spock took an involuntarily step forward.

"Captain!"

The only contact they'd had was mental and mostly through feelings, seeing the face of his friend made Spock's previous annoyance fade.

Bones was talking before Spock could say a word to his friend.

"Spock."

The Vulcan looked up as Kirk acknowledged him – McCoy muttered under his deepening frown.

"Yes captain?"

"Look, you need to stop getting into trouble. I know you're a good Captain and that this wouldn't be happening on accident… and that Bones is largely involved as well…"

Kirk's brown eyes softened and he looked earnest. "…You all just have to be alright for two more months. The more you protest the worse it gets for you… just wait… you'll be fine."

McCoy snorted. "Alright? Without you? Spock is being intolerable-" he turned to the Vulcan, "No offense."

Spock just stared up at Kirk. "Yes Captain, of course."

Jim sighed and nodded.

"You're okay, just two months."

The Vulcan looked down. "Two months can seem like an age."

Captain Kirk smirked, "Now that doesn't sound very logical."

Spock raised his eyebrows as his only response.

"Alright," Kirk looked off the screen and then back to his First Officer. "Look, I'll be back soon and you really have to just play it low, alright? Can you just wait for me? Can you do that for me?"

Spock looked up into his Captain's sincere brown eyes and almost smiled.

"For you, Jim, anything."

THE END