"I'll be home in ten minutes."

Alfred grinned at the thought, but quickly said, "You didn't have to rush. I wouldn't have minded if you spent another day with your sister."

He heard a nervous chuckle through the phone. "No, no. I'd better not. Alfred?"

"Yeah?"

"Be safe."

He paused, taken aback by the serious tone of her voice. "Sure thing, 'Talia. You be careful too, it's supposed to rain."

Goodbyes were exchanged and Alfred hung up. His stomach grumbled and he remembered there was still a quarter of a chocolate cake in the fridge. Jogging through the silent house, he entered the kitchen. The lights were off. Hadn't he turned them on ten minutes ago?

Shaking his head, he opened the fridge door and bent over to look inside. He thought he'd left it on the bottom shelf, but it wasn't there. Puzzled, he checked each shelf. No cake. Did I accidentally leave it in the freezer? he thought, opening the smaller door above the fridge. All he saw was ground beef just itching to be made into patties, a chicken breast and a container of ice cream.

"Mmmm, this is so good it should be sinful," a sultry female voice moaned just behind him.

Alfred jumped and spun around, balling his hands into fists. All he saw was the kitchen counter. A plate with a half-eaten piece of chocolate cake caught his attention and he gulped. How-

"I'm serious," the voice said to his left. He turned to face the sink. Nothing. "Where did you buy this?" Now the plate had disappeared from the counter.

"Who's there?" Alfred yelled, looking around wildly.

The invisible voice whispered in his ear, ruffling his hair with her breath. "I'm heartbroken. Don't you remember that wonderful evening we shared?"

A pale hand appeared, resting lightly against his forearm. Slowly, shaking all over, Alfred looked up the arm to the rest of the woman's now visible body.

She was shorter than him by half a head, with white-blonde hair a shade lighter than his own girlfriend's. Unlike Natalia, her hair was wavy and very long, brushing the back of her knees. Her eyes were a silvery grey, with hints of gold flecks here and there. She was dressed in a simple white gown with a modest square neck that brushed the floor. Altogether she was angelic in appearance, but there was something… twisted in her eyes.

Her luscious lips formed a smile at the sight of Alfred's shocked face. "What? Did you truly forget me? Think it was all a dream? Convince yourself that it was a dream?"

"You-..." Alfred gulped again, backing out of her light hold. "Why are you here?"

She tilted her head. "Isn't it obvious? You made a deal with the Devil, and I'm here to collect."

"He what?! Why?"

"He did it to save his dear brother from death."

"Matthew was-"

"Rabies. 100% fatal, you know."

Dainty as could be, the Devil popped another piece of cake into her mouth. Again she moaned and spoke around the mouthful. "I shwear, dis cake ish amashing." She swallowed and looked at Alfred in amusement. "For evil's sake, sit down before you pass out."

He did so, his knees shaking. Wiping at the sweat on his forehead, Alfred watched her carefully. "Why now?" he asked.

The Devil snorted. "Of course you'd forget. The deal was that I'd come to claim your soul in ten year's time." She glanced at the clock. It was 8:01. "That'll be in exactly twelve minutes."

Alfred let his hand rest against the table. "So, what? You're gonna drag me to Hell?"

"Can't." The Devil finished her slice of cake.

"You can't?"

"Nope, you haven't done anything Hell-worthy in your life."

"So…"

The gold bits in her eyes flashed. "So you get to be my slave. It's been a while since I've had someone to help out."

Alfred frowned. "Wait, so you want me to help you make people do bad things?"

The Devil shrugged. "Not unless you want to. My seven deadly children already do most of that sort of work these days. I handle the whole "punished for all eternity thing". I was thinking more along the lines of you keeping my house clean, taking my hellhounds out for walks, stealing groceries, that sort of thing."

She sauntered over to him and leaned over. "And perhaps you could help me in… other ways?" She laughed when he cringed back. "What? Do you like men?"

Her eyes blinked once and suddenly she was replaced by a muscular male with caramel skin, choppy black hair and jaguar tattoos all over his bare shoulders; the eyes remained the same.

"This turn you on?"

"Take my soul instead!"

"Nope~"

"Why? Isn't one soul as good as the next?"

"Yes and no. Besides, I like being contrary."

The Devil finally leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest. "So, any regrets?" he asked.

Alfred looked down at the wood grain of the table. He coughed once to clear the dryness in his throat. "I… I just wish I could tell Natalia what happened to me. She'll probably think I was kidnapped or something."

"Oh, so you do like girls."

"At the same time, I'm glad. I don't know how she would handle it if she knew I was taken by Satan."

When Alfred glanced back up, the Devil was back in her female form. She smirked at him and pulled a vodka bottle out of thin air. "Want a shot?" He shook his head and she rolled her eyes. "Here I am trying to help you feel better about the whole thing, and you won't even take some alcohol." She popped the bottle open and took a giant swig from it. "You know, it's funny how you humans are so afraid of me. I only have as much power as you give me." She peered through the half empty bottle, liking how the glass made Alfred's face warped and distorted. "Not often do I get someone stupid enough to give me their entire soul."

"I was twelve-"

"You didn't even try to barter! I mean-" Another gulp. "I woulda cured him in exchange for your sight and hearing or the life of your dog or something."

"Isn't there anything I can give you?"

"Not really. My house is getting dirty and I hate dust- Oh! Can you get me an angel feather?"

"Three minutes~" the Devil purred. She'd finished the vodka and was now smoking a cigarette that never seemed to run out. Alfred absentmindedly waved the smoke out of his face. Instead of being a nervous wreck, he was strangely calm, as if he'd already accepted this fate.

"Can I bring something with me?" he asked. The Devil shrugged again and waved him away.

Alfred trudged up the stairs and into the bedroom. He went straight to his bedside table and grabbed the photograph sitting there. It was a picture of him and Natalia on a ferris wheel, it was also one of the few times he'd been able to capture Natalia letting go and smiling broadly on film. For a moment he debated as to whether he should take the picture out of the frame, but then he decided that it would freak her out less if the whole thing was gone as opposed to leaving an empty frame behind.

Downstairs, the door slammed open.

"Why would you want-"

"Do you know how much mischief I could make with an angel feather tainted with my powers?!"

"...If I get you one, will you leave Alfred alone?"

"Sure, sure, but you only have a week."

"That's-"

"Highly improbable. Not impossible."

What? Who could possibly…

I'll be home in ten minutes.

Alfred heard the Devil squeal. "You got three? Oh, you darling!"

That'll be in exactly twelve minutes.

"Son of a-" He ran out of the room and down the stairs, nearly tumbling down the last two steps.

Natalia was standing in the hallway. Her cheek was cut and her clothes stained. Her eyes watered when she saw him.

"Alfred, you idiot!"

The Devil was nowhere to be seen.

I swear, the plot bunnies come up with the strangest ideas. Also, if any of you are all, "Which country is the devil?! Is it some weird OC country she made?! Who is iiiiit?!" well… this story's devil is vaguely based off two OCs I made long before I'd heard of Hetalia named Alura and Monty. Say hi, guys!

Alura: It's nice to meet you all! :D

Monty: *hisses*

Also, a special thanks to themusicalcat for editing this one shot!

Um… Hi! Themusicalcat here! I didn't actually do very much, so just...um… Give Viva all your love! She deserves it! 'Kay, arrivederci!

Comment, favorite, whatevs. Tell me what you thought about this little… whatever that came out of my brain.