'Scared to see the ending, why are we pretending this is nothing'

A/N: This is the first of a random one shot, based around Fian and Jarra's relationship. This is set during Earth Flight, so if you haven't read that yet, STOP!

You've all read it? Good. It's set when Jarra is getting the web attached, and she is currently waking up after the regrowth tank. This is Fian's opinion.

Fian waited, anxiously.

For the last 3 months he'd been in a constant state of fear. And Jarra...she'd almost died, several times. They'd had to regrow brain tissue.

He'd hoped so much that the book they'd recorded together wouldn't be needed, but when he'd heard that...it had taken Colonel Leveque several times to explain that they'd managed to prevent her forgetting everything, due to Cioni's apprentices.

Jarra wasn't lost – and by default, neither was the chance at taking down the alien defence grid. He hadn't cared about that at the time, though.

All he'd worried about was Jarra. When he'd worked out what Leveque was saying, he'd been grazzed. He'd never guessed the apprentices still existed, let alone that his father was one of them. Despite being extremely relieved they could help Jarra, he was glad they hadn't wanted him to join. He'd never agreed with breaking the protection of humanity laws, and his grandfather had started a war on Freya. That wasn't something he could be proud of, even if his father seemed to ignore it.

Then again, he'd had to rethink his views on that lately, which he'd have to explain to Jarra if...when she woke up. If the Military had kept to the laws, neither Raven or Jarra would still be alive. The laws were made by people who didn't face danger daily. The Military faced that danger, and it was easy to understand why they would bend a law or two if it would keep friends and family alive.

His friends were alive.
Jarra could still die, if the web didn't stabilise. He tried to stop imagining the possibilities. They plagued him often enough when he went to sleep – all the pain she would have experienced when the operation went wrong before, how it might affect her. Having Jarra, but a Jarra without any memory of him.

It was the stuff of nightmares.

Once she woke up, though, even if she was still Jarra, his Jarra, he might not have much time with her. They would immediately be leaving for Fortuna, because the knowledge of where the Chimera might be in the universe was far more important than two lives. The Military had decided that easily. It was obvious. Sacrificing one life to save the rest of humanity...logically, Fian knew it made sense. If the Chimera was out there, they needed to be prepared, they needed to know where it might turn up and destroy it.

He didn't like it, though. The Military wasn't impersonal – everyone was remembered. But there was nothing to be done. Jarra had to go through this operation, and few people would know just how important it was.

The chimera had been the subject of horror vids ever since Thetis, but at the same time, they'd been considered a thing of the past. The extinction of the chimera was considered a solid fact for everyone. At least, it had been until the discovery of the alien home world.

It had been incredibly lucky Jarra had realised the possibility, worked it out before they'd gone down. Whilst he wished it was still fact for him that the chimera was long gone, he knew how bad it would have been if the Military hadn't expected anything when they went down to the moon. If the Civilian populations had seen the chimera body before Drago could destroy it, there would have been mass panic. Everyone would be terrified. It would be like when the truth about the alien sphere had leaked, but much, much worse. They'd had to destroy an entire world to prevent the destruction of humanity. They'd been lucky that the alien ship had left the chimera on Thetis, rather than continuing to Earth with no stops. If it had come to Earth so early in their history, they wouldn't have survived.

Drago must have been terrified. Having been told before hand, he'd been able to hide the chimera, but he'd seen it. For a moment, he probably thought it was still alive, shooting it quickly and hoping it would be destroyed. The most gifted liar in the Military had gone down there anyway, knowing what he might face.

Fian couldn't even imagine doing that. He'd gone to the alien moon afterwards, but they knew by then there were no other chimera there. He'd still imagined one in every corner. He'd been more worried about how Jarra would take it if he failed to activate the sphere by himself, though. The moment she'd realised that she was needed, he'd seen her expression. She would risk her life to do it, but even that wouldn't work, because she'd be dead before she could.

Jarra had acted similarly to Drago. Unable to portal directly to the moon, she'd agreed to a potentially suicidal operation to protect humanity. Of course, she didn't really have much choice; someone would be forced to order her to do it if she refused. The chimera was too large a threat to let one girl stop them.

All Fian could do was wait. Of course, he'd followed his own orders. He'd spent quite a while in Zeta sector, trying various different methods. He'd met Jarra's sister, Gemelle, and with Jaxon as well they'd spent a while trying to activate the circle. Unfortunately, it had been unsuccessful, but it had helped the Military gather data. Those had been conducted whilst Jarra was in prison, anyway.

If it hadn't been for Drago and his team, Fian would have spent the 3 months whilst Jarra was in a tank waiting anxiously, with nothing to do. He'd actually ended up grateful for the offer of fighter pilot training, though he still didn't particularly enjoy flying. True, it was amaz up there, so high up, flying a ship in space – but at the same time, he preferred being on the ground.

It had given him something else to focus on, something other than the endless worry about Jarra. He'd thanked Drago, who'd seemed to understand.

"It's in a different way, of course, but I care about Jarra too. She's my family, and so are you."

He'd accepted that. He didn't dislike Drago anymore, or have reason to feel jealous. For one thing, Drago was married, and anyway, they'd become relatively close since he'd been adopted into the clan. Even before then, Drago had accompanied him when he'd been called in for questioning about Cioni's apprentices. He was lucky he hadn't known anything about it then. He'd been innocent, and he definitely didn't agree with any of it.

Now, he understood things weren't always that simple. Sometimes, the protection of humanity laws had to be bent to, well, protect humanity. The Military risked their lives daily, and if anyone had the right to twist the laws to save lives, it was them. It made sense they did all they could to prevent loss of life, even if it was technically illegal.

Again, his mind returned to Jarra. It was hard for him to stop thinking about it all. He'd run out of distractions, run out of other things he could try and focus on in the hope of stopping the worry, just temporarily. He was a qualified fighter pilot now, due to that. It had been 3 months...and she was supposed to wake up today.

He couldn't help but be nervous. He knew her appearance would be altered, somewhat. He was more worried about her personality, but he knew it would matter to her. He was just scared about her losing her memories, who she was, and not being Jarra anymore. They'd had to regrow significant amounts of brain tissue, and despite the reassurance he couldn't help but worry. If she'd forgotten what made Jarra, Jarra, then...

He was being a nardle. He'd still love her, he knew that already. No matter what, they were in this together. She loved him, too, he knew, even if she wasn't great at saying it. She wasn't good with emotional stuff, but he knew how she felt. They were both commited to their relationship. They were betrothed, not just twoing, and he'd been adopted into her Clan.

He had to hope...to stay positive. The Jarra he knew would come out of the hospital room already wearing an impact suit, he was sure. He'd heard her worries about it. She was worried she wouldn't be human anymore, that she'd always be visibly different. He didn't care about that, and he'd told her so.

She was a bit of a nardle sometimes, though.

The door opened, and a figure came out.

Fian felt a wash of relief. She was alright. She was Jarra.

A/N: Thank you! There will be no set time for updates, this is literally just as I get ideas, I will write and post them. Thanks for reading.