ZA: Hellooooo! Now, a little warning: this is my very first NON-crossover fic, but I think you'll enjoy it. This was inspired by an off-scene character mentioned in The Dead of Winter by ForeverFalling86. That character's name was Stephan. Since she killed off Peter Pettigrew, she needed someone to resurrect the Dark Lord. She said, and I quote, "Let's name him Stephan." So now I present to you Lord Stephan Fauntleroy. Harry Potter does not belong to me, nor does the idea of Stephan – though I've embellished the character, possibly beyond recognition.

Stephan: scenes from the graveyard

"Kill the spare," a low, hissing voice sounded from the bundle of rags.

Harry didn't know where exactly he was, but he knew they were in trouble. The cup had been a portkey.

The man carrying the bundle spoke up: "Now, now, he's a Hufflepuff! How can he foil your most evil plans? Besides, I like Hufflepuffs. How about I just stun him, Your Most Evil One?"

"Oh, very well. Stun him if you must. Just be quick about it," the hissing voice acquiesced.

"All right then, Your Darkness! Stupefy!" The man twirled his wand with a flourish reminiscent of Gilderoy Lockhart, and Cedric went down.

"Now bind Potter!"

"Of course, Master of Insidious Plots! Incarcerous!"

Ropes materialized out of nowhere, binding Harry to Tom Riddle's headstone. The man drew closer now, and Harry finally got a good look at him. His attacker's black robes were trimmed with an abundance of lace. The mask obscuring the top half of his face looked like something from a Mardi Gras parade. Covered in rhinestones and feathers, there was even a large, teardrop-shaped jewel dangling before the wearer's nose.

"Commence with the ritual," the hiss sounded again.

"All right, all right. No need to be hasty. I'm getting to it."

There was a slight pause before the black-robed man spoke again. "Hmm…what was it again? Let me see…Bone of the father, unknowingly given, you will renew your son," he intoned. With a wave of his wand, a bone wriggled up from the grave before Harry and floated over to land in a large cauldron.

"Flesh of the servant, willingly given, you will revive your master. Wait. Hold on a minute. Eric? Come over here! Another robed figure emerged from the shadows of the night with slow steps.

"Yes, Stephan?" Harry recognized the tone of voice from Mad Eye's lessons on the imperius curse. This new guy was obviously under the influence.

"Jump into the cauldron, Eric! It's for a good cause," Stephan ordered. Eric obeyed without question.

"Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken, you will resurrect your foe." And with that, Stephan brought forth a dagger from inside his frilly robes. "So sorry. This should only hurt a little bit."

It hurt a lot, the liar.

Stephan collected Harry's blood in a small vial. "Would you like a plaster? I've got Babbity Rabbit."

Harry just looked at him in complete confusion. Who was this guy?

"Perhaps not." Stephan looked a bit hurt but quickly recovered his enthusiasm for the task at hand. He poured the contents of the vial into the cauldron. "Time for your rejuvenating bath, O Cunning One!" and Stephan unceremoniously plopped the bundle into the cauldron.

"Ow," hissed the voice.

"Sorry," replied Stephan, absently.

"It is true I lost my body that night, but now I have been reborn! So, my loyal deathea—"

Voldemort was suddenly interrupted.

"Oh, isn't that wonderful, my Lord? You get a second childhood!" exclaimed Stephan. All the deatheaters turned to look at him – even Avery, who was still slightly twitching on the ground.

"But then…wait a minute…wait a minute," Stephan looked as if something momentous were slowly dawning on him. "If you've been…reborn…and I performed the ritual…that means…I'm your daddy!"

Harry would have face-palmed if he had use of his arms. Voldemort, however, looked slightly horrified. Who was this guy? Why wasn't Voldemort killing him for daring to interrupt?

"Oh, Voldiekins! What a joyous occasion! If I had realized earlier, I would've brought balloons and a cake." Stephan was ecstatic. In contrast, the expression on Voldemort's face seemed to scream Get away from me, you freak! as his exuberant servant came forward with arms outstretched for a welcoming hug.

"Never mind that now, Stephan," Voldemort recovered. "I must finish my speech."

"Oh, do be careful, Son! He has a wand! Ooh! You almost got him that time." Stephan's cheering and play-by-play commentary were starting to get on everyone's nerves, but Harry did his best to ignore the fool. Who was this guy?

"Expelliarmus!"

"Avada Kedavra!"

"Ooh! Pretty lights! They're like golden strings. And what is that enchanting music?"

Seriously, who was this guy?

"What happened, Potter?" Moody inquired.

"There was this strange man who performed this ritual that brought Voldemort to life," Harry began in a dazed voice. "And then deatheaters came, and Voldemort started to make this speech, but—"

"Never mind that. Did he forgive them?" Moody demanded to know.

"I think so. I mean, he didn't kill him for interrupting his speech."

"What? Interrupting…?" Moody was confused.

"Yes, the guy who performed the ritual. I think his name was Stephan. He kept going on about – "

"Oh, Stephan. Never mind him. Did the Dark Lord forgive his followers?" Moody reiterated.

"Um…yes? Professor Moody, who is this Stephan guy? He was really weird."

Then the door was blasted open, Moody was stunned, and Dumbledore walked in.

"Harry, I need you to tell me what happened in the graveyard," said Dumbledore gently.

"Voldemort was resurrected by this really strange man. Moody – I mean Crouch didn't want to hear about him, but I think his name was Stephan."

"Ah yes, Stephan Fauntleroy." Dumbledore had that twinkle in his eye again. "So he's returned as well? Brilliant. With war imminent, we could use the funds."