Disclaimer: I own none of the publicly recognizable features of this story, that includes the characters, settings and nicknames used by Thor.

Thor Discovers Earthling Things

Part One- Napkins

A lot of people may consider Thor to be a bit daft. He himself knows that he comes off as a bit of an idiot sometimes. He supposes it is because he is so outspoken and so confused with Earth customs. But he's not. As the future ruler of Asgard he was given many tutors to ensure that his brain held a vast amount of knowledge. So he finds it a bit insulting when SHIELD agents speak to him as if he was but a young child with a mental affliction. (That was only okay when Loki did it.)

Yet, as he stared at the offered object in Son of Coul's hand, he felt every bit the daft person he was made out to be. The object was made of a flimsy paper quality and floated with the slight breeze that was wandering among the tower of Stark.

"It's a napkin," Son of Coul informed him. Thor took it gently between his large fingers and walked away, lest his confusion of what to use the napkin for is mistaken for ungratefulness. And as he settles himself on the couch next to Bruce he thinks about what it may be for.

The first part of the word is naps and Thor knows what naps are. Perhaps this napkin is used to assist Midgardians in their sleeping rituals? Judging by his teammates' habits, Midgardians do not get as much untroubled sleep as Asgardians. He folds it gently in his palm and then wanders up to the room that Anthony has generously offered to him.

When Thor wakes up he is forced to admit that either he has used this napkin wrong or that it not used for slumber assistance. So as he lies in his luxurious bed with Hannah of Montana playing in the TV in the corner he is forced to think of the other half of the word.

Kin.

Kin is family.

So Thor keeps this napkin tucked into his armor and when their next altercation with Loki arises he pulls it out and throws it at his brother. Loki shoots him a confused look before picking the object up between two fingers delicately and then throws back his head and laughs the way he only ever does when he is laughing at Thor.

"I know not why you think such a frivolous piece of Midgardian culture can defeat me Thor, but I assure you I am very well protected against napkins," Loki said, still shaking his head in amusement as he fired a spell towards the great Captain. Luckily Anthony steps in the way just in time, the green blast being deflected easily, and the rest of the battle commences in its usual fashion.

But Thor still does not know what the meaning of this napkin is. And it irritates him greatly but also intrigues him, so he sits down on the couch in the tower of Anthony and examines it, willing for it to spill all of its secrets.

"Uh, Thor buddy, what are you doing?" It is Anthony that asks him, leaning over the back of the chair the great Captain is sitting in, his finger still held on the device sitting in Steven's lap.

"Trying to decipher the secrets that this napkin has to offer." Thor explains, a little bit defensively. Anthony's brow crinkles confusedly and he shares a glance with Steven that Thor does not understand.

"It's a napkin. It doesn't have many secrets other than what it wiped off your face at dinner last night." Anthony explains.

"Why would it wipe ones face?" Thor asks, not quite understanding that the answer he has been searching for is in plain view in front of him.

"Because that's what it's used for?" Anthony says a bit uncertainly. "Has someone been telling you lies about napkins? Because taking advantage of a confused Norse god is so completely unmoral that even I wouldn't do it." He pauses and then looks right at Thor with a straight expression. "It was Clint, wasn't it?"

"Hey," Clint protests, though Thor can tell it is completely on principle as he slides smoothly out of the vent he was in. "I swear I told him nothing about napkins."

Thor stares at the flimsy paper in his hand and then crumples it in his fist. So perhaps this object is not as wonderful as he first thought, offering no magical abilities to help with sleep or family. But as he stares around at Anthony and Clint engaging in a pillow fight with Steven playing interference when a remote gets chucked at Anthony's head, he finds that maybe he doesn't need that much help with family after all.