„Only three days after the news surfaced that actor Edward Cullen have split with his long time girlfriend country music star Bella Swan he was seen getting hot and heavy at a bar with his stylist Alice Brandon... "
I couldn't take it anymore. I quickly turned off the TV and walked across my house to the bedroom.
„I don't care anyway" I murmured to myself not really believing the words that came out of my mouth. I still cared.
I snuggled into my bed and hoped for sleep to come. But lately it wasn't so easy to fall asleep or to sleep at all. And today wasn't an exception. Thoughts instead of sleep were meddling in my mind.
We were together for 3 years. The hottest couple in Hollywood they said. I was up and coming country singer and he just became the heart-throb actor he is still today. We met and fell in love. Fast. Or so I thought it happen.
Everything was fine for the first year of our relationship, but then as we became more and more busy with our carriers we communicated less and less. Of course when we had time off, we met up and everything was good again. But we didn't have time off a lot.
Nevertheless nobody suspected the breakup. Only me.
As soon as he stopped calling as often as he usually did, and stopped checking in with me I knew that something was wrong. I let it go on for another two years, thinking that it will get better. But I really shouldn't have. Now all that is left to do is wonder - at which point of our relationship we grew apart and he grew closer to Alice.
I looked at the clock that sat on top of my nightstand and it read 4:01. I guess this will be another night without any sleep.
But this time I felt a little less sorry for myself. It was over. I might as well get up, get a drink and do something useful.
It was 4 a.m., I couldn't sleep
So I did my hair and I fixed a drink
Sat on the porch with my guitar
Sang about how you broke my heart
Singing "la la la la la la"
After about two hours of songwriting on my porch and four glasses of whiskey I was almost done with my song and completely done with him. My buzzed mind decided to also get rid of any memory of him so I did just that.
I found all the pictures we had taken together and tossed them in my bathtub. With one simple match they went up in flames and I just sat there and looked at them while painting my toes for the CMT Music Awards that were just about a week away. After a while I realized that the flames were dying out so I found his favorite T-shirt and extinguished the flames with it completely. It felt great.
I went and tore your pictures up
Built a fire in my bathtub
Painted my toes while I watched them burn
Then put out the flames with your t-shirt
It was light outside when I exited the bathroom and opened my curtains. People were starting to move around, waking up and going to work. I remembered how I used to wake up early or not go to bed just so I could wait for him to call me from Asia or wherever he was filming his newest movie. I always put him first above my friends and family. When somebody asked me to go to dinner with them I always gave them excuse that he will be home soon and I want to spend time with him, but he almost never came home. Now I realize he was with her. Then every time after I yelled at him about that he said that he loved me and somehow I thought that everything was fine. But it wasn't. I guess I was just crazy. Crazy in love with him.
If you think that sounds crazy, then you should've seen me
Sitting by the phone, all those nights alone
Believing lies you told me, thinking I'm your only
Putting off my friends to be with you again
Forgiving when you say "I love you, baby"
That's what I call crazy
When I realized that I was being sentimental and remembering our relationship I was angry at myself and at him. I guess maybe I wasn't so over him as I thought.
I tried to shake off the memories as best I could. I screamed his name louder that I should, cussing the way he treated me. I even made a hole in my wall with his baseball bat that I think he sometimes loved more than me. I guess to my neighbors I must have looked like a crazy person. All alone and going insane. But I didn't care. I wanted all the memories and feelings gone.
Feelings finally did fade but the memories were still there.
If the neighbor looked through my windowpane
He'd say she's finally gone insane
All the things I do around this old house
Like cussing your name, screaming out loud
My bedroom wall's got a hole in it now
I was angry. I broke a few more things and now my house looked like a war zone.
But then finally standing there in my smashed up house it clicked. I might sometimes break a thing or two. But I am not a vandal. I am a musician. This is not how to let go of him and really get over him.
I've been seeing red since you said goodbye
I might break a thing or two sometimes
So I found my phone under a cloud of feathers of his pillow that I tore up. And called the number I had memorized by heart. My manager and best friend.
"Hey, Rose.. I need a favor."
AFTER A WEEK.
I stood backstage. Carrie Underwood just accepted the video of the year award and I was set to perform on the CMT Music Awards stage any second now. I was so nervous but also so excited. After the revelation and phone call to my manager I finished the song that I started on my porch and now all that was left to do is sing my heart out.
"Wow guys, what a great show we have had.." Kristen Bell, the show's host started "But now the moment probably all teenage girls and men have been waiting for. Country music's hottest new and single star Bella Swan will perform a brand new song for us tonight. She wrote it just a couple of days ago but I assure you it is fantastic. Performing "That's what I call crazy" give it up for Bella Swan.."
The crowd erupted into cheers and I walked on the dark stage. As the band started to play the first chords of my song and the stage lit up I found just the person I was looking for. I looked in the green eyes of Edward Cullen who was sitting right across from me. As he looked back at me I smirked and started the song.
"It was 4 a.m., I couldn't sleep
So I did my hair and I fixed a drink
It was 4 a.m., I couldn't sleep I went and tore your pictures up If you think that sounds crazy, then you should've seen me
So I did my hair and I fixed a drink
Sat on the porch with my guitar
Sang about how you broke my heart
Singing "la la la la la la"
Built a fire in my bathtub
Painted my toes while I watched them burn
Then put out the flames with your t-shirt
Sitting by the phone, all those nights alone
Believing lies you told me, thinking I'm your only
Putting off my friends to be with you again
Forgiving when you say "I love you, baby"
That's what I call crazy"
As I sang the song his eyes went from wide to even wider, because he knew the song was about him.
"If the neighbor looked through my windowpane
He'd say she's finally gone insane
All the things I do around this old house
Like cussing your name, screaming out loud
My bedroom wall's got a hole in it now
If you think that sounds crazy, then you should've seen me
Sitting by the phone, all those nights alone
Believing lies you told me, thinking I'm your only
Putting off my friends to be with you again
Forgiving when you say "I love you, baby"
That's what I call crazy
I've been seeing red since you said goodbye
I might break a thing or two sometimes"
But as the song neared to the end I realized that I was finally done with him and all the memories that came with him. I was ready to move on.
"If you think that sounds crazy, then you should've seen me
Sitting by the phone, all those nights alone
Believing lies you told me, thinking I'm your only
Putting off my friends to be with you again
Forgiving when you say "I love you, baby""
As I sang the last line of the song I was free and happy again. I couldn't imagine being so broken up about someone. Especially him.
"That's what I call crazy."
A/n
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the characters. They all belong to Stephenie Meyer.
I also do not own the song, the lyrics or the story behind the song that is used in this story. The writers of the song are DeStefano, Gorley, Kacey Musgraver. But the song is performed by Lucy Hale.
Hope you enjoyed the story.
Kristy