Jenny checked everything. She was ready for bed. She'd brushed her teeth. She'd left out milk and cookies for Santa. It all looked good.

So it was time to turn in.

She took one last look at the Christmas tree. And headed up to her room.

Everything inside it was black. Curtains. Bedspread. Even her alarm clock. She'd wanted it to be that way ever since someone had blown up Disney. And trashed all the Disney theme parks. And broken all the copies of each Disney film that had a princess in it. As far as Jenny was concerned, the world could never be the same again. The future was bleak and dark and pointless. Besides – who was she supposed to dress up as for Halloween now? All the princesses were gone!

She climbed into bed. Hugged her favorite stuffed animal, a gorilla named Mr. Not-Vegeta. Who used to be known as Mr. Vegeta. But Vegeta was now off her list of people she liked. The wind howled outside. Sending flurries against the window. Jenny gazed at the swirling snow.

And suddenly bolted upright. She'd seen someone out there!

She shuddered. Wondering what to do. When she heard a noise downstairs.

"MOMMY!" she screamed. "DADDY! THERE'S A BURGLAR IN THE HOUSE!"

If her parents heard her they did not respond. She waited. Terrified. Until she couldn't stand it anymore.

She tiptoed out as quietly as she could. Clutching Mr. Not-Vegeta.

Someone was in the living room. She could hear them moving around.

Jenny crept closer. Peeked in.

A man in a red suit and hat was putting toys under the tree.

No way.

It couldn't be.

It was!

It was SANTA!

She ran forward. Overjoyed. "Santa!"

The man turned. Glared at her. A wrapped box held in one hand. A sack in the other.

Jenny stopped right where she was. Lip trembling. She threw Mr. Not-Vegeta at the man. Rolled around on the floor. Shrieked. Pounded her fists.

Vegeta came over. Picked her up. "I knew this job would thankless. It's what I get for listening to stupid mythical characters who bring toys to spoiled brats. But – "

"NO!" Jenny tried to kick him. "NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "If you don't stop I'll murder your parents while they sleep. And eat their spleens. So help me!"

She managed to land a punch on him. "I hate you! You bailed on me when we were trick-or-treating! Then you didn't even blow up the house like I was hoping!" She stuck out her lower lip. Tears in her eyes. "Why are you dressed like that? Where's the real Santa?!"

"I'm subbing for him," said Vegeta. Through gritted teeth. "As part of my community service for destroying Disney. He said it would teach me a vital lesson. Though I'm not sure what it's supposed to be."

Jenny was confused. "Who said that?"

Vegeta sighed. "Santa of course. I still want to know how he talked me into this. You ask me he was just feeling lazy and wanted to take the night off."

"You met Santa?" she squeaked. Her eyes wide. "Really? Honest to goodness?"

"Yes!" he snarled.

She clapped. "YAY!"

He set her down. Gave her a candy cane. "Here. Now go away, I've got work to do. And a million houses to do after this one."

"Uh uh." She sucked on the candy cane. "You gotta blow up my parents' house first. It's what I want for Christmas. I even wrote it in my letter to Santa."

A vein throbbed on Vegeta's forehead. "I'd love to. Believe me I would. But part of the rules is that I can't hurt anybody or damage any property. I can only spread good cheer." He made a face. "Ho ho ho. Merry Flippin' Christmas."

"That's funny, Mr. Vegeta," she said. Still not quite ready to forgive him. But she was warming up to him slowly. "You should have an elf or something with you. To help."

He chuckled. "That's one consolation to this crappy job. There's no one to..."

"Oh, Vegeta!"

Vegeta's jaw dropped. As the ghost materialized in the room.

Dressed as a Christmas elf.

Vegeta screamed at the top of his lungs. Objects broke. Part of the ceiling came down.

But nothing could get rid of Ghost Nappa... the elf!

Ghost Nappa skipped over. "Gee, Vegeta. I didn't think you'd be that happy to see me. It really means we're best friends."

"No, it does not!" Vegeta unleashed a ki attack at Ghost Nappa. "DIE, CURSE YOU! DIE, DIE, DIE!"

Ghost Nappa merely let the attack pass through him. Grinning.

"Let's sing carols, Vegeta," he said. "I know a really good one! It goes like this:

"Roshi the dirty old man!

Had a very naughty mind..."

"Ohhhhh, carols!" Suddenly another person stepped into the room. Dressed in orange. He had black hair like Vegeta. But where Vegeta was grumpy and scary this guy was cheerful and friendly. "I want to join in!"

Vegeta looked like he was ready to pummel someone. His eyes narrowed dangerously. "You would, Kakarot! And just so you know I am NOT dressed as Santa! I – "

The guy in orange was joined by a short man with a bald head. "Look, Goku! Vegeta's dressed as Santa Clause!" The short bald guy rummaged through his pockets. "Where's my cellphone? I need to get a picture of this!"

Vegeta grabbed him by the front of his shirt. Lifting him up. "No. You. Do. Not!"

"Uhhhh..." The little bald man gulped. "M-maybe you're right. Heh heh. I'l just hide in a corner and pretend I'm not here."

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 1

Vegeta set him down again. "Good. As long as we're clear on that." He glanced around. Like he was checking to see if the coast was clear. And tore off his Santa suit and hat. Put them on Goku. "Here. This is right up your street, Kakarot. Be Santa and finish delivering presents for me."

"Huh? But why can't you do it, Vegeta?" asked Kakarot. Goku. Why did he have two names?

"Because I, er, have very urgent business," said Vegeta. "I need to get back to the North Pole right away! I'm not trying to weasel my way out of this because I got better things to do."

Goku nodded. "Yes, well, if that's the case..."

"No!" Jenny grabbed Vegeta. "You can't go! Not until you blow up the house! It's my one Christmas wish!"

Vegeta was ready to lose all his patience. "Listen here, you little – !"

Goku put his hands on his hips. "Hey. That's not in keeping with the Christmas Spirit."

"Yeah," Ghost Nappa cut in. "You're just like Uncle Scrooge McDuck!"

Krillin stepped out of the corner he was cowered in. "Exactly! ...Wait. What?"

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 2

"This little girl wants to see her own house destroyed more than anything in the world," said Goku. "How can you be so thoughtless and selfish? To not grant a child's deep, sincere Christmas wish?"

Vegeta stared at Goku. He seemed to wonder if the other Saiyan – they both had tails – so he must be a Saiyan – was missing part of his brain. "Well. You did hit your head as a kid after all." He put his finger to his lips. Thinking. He smirked. "Alright. Fine. Have it your way. I guess I really don't understand the holiday spirit after all. It's time I learned my lesson."

"But wouldn't wrecking the house be a bad thing...?" Krillin tried to say.

No one was listening.

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 3

"Aww, nuts." He held his head. And went back into the corner. A dark cloud hanging over him.

Vegeta powered up. Going into Super Saiyan Mode. "I need to find the true meaning of the season. Which is wanton destruction! MU HA HA HA HA HA HA!"

Was he being sarcastic?

It was a little hard to tell.

At any rate, they all gathered to watch. As Vegeta unleashed his assault on the house. Goku brought out some hot chocolate. Ghost Nappa sang:

"The first Noël

The Saiyan did say

Was to certain poor earthlings

So dead as they lay..."

Jenny smiled. Feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

Krillin meanwhile stood there confused.

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 4

"Alright, already!" he yelled. "I can't get owned that many times in three pages! ...Well. Maybe I can. But it isn't fair!"

He went off to pout a third time.

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 5

His head jerked up. "Hey!"

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 6

He'd had enough.

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 7

This was going to stop. Now!

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 8

Or maybe not.

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 9

He sat off by himself. Dejected. "No one knows what I go through..."

Jenny gave him Mr. Not-Vegeta. To cheer him up.

"Gee, thanks little girl," he said. "Though I'm not sure what kind of kid wants to see her home get trashed. I seriously wonder about you."

When Vegeta was finished with his onslaught, everybody – except Krillin – cheered.

Vegeta posed. Swelling with glee. "This is the most fun I've had since I got duped into being Santa. At long last I truly understand Christmas."

Goku clapped him on the shoulder. "I'm so glad you've had a change of heart, Vegeta. It makes me think you really are a nice guy after all."

"Thank you," said Vegeta. "But get your hand off me. I need to..." He cracked a wicked smile. "Lay waste to this town!"

He flew off. Cackling.

Goku frowned. "You know... somehow I don't think I handled that right..."

"You think?!" said Krillin.

Ghost Nappa was still singing:

"Jingle bells

Jingle bells

Vegeta's off to slay

Everyone in this whole town

In a very painful way – hey!"

"Ah, yes," Ghost Nappa said. "My recording career is underway. I just need to develop a drug problem. Then I'll be a true celebrity."

Jenny's parents peeked out from the wreckage they'd been hiding behind. Afraid to come any closer.

"Honey," said her mom. "What happened? Wh-who are these people?"

Jenny ran over to them. "Mom! Dad! Did you see? Mr. Vegeta came dressed as Santa! And he left me presents! And gave me the one thing I really wanted for Christmas: to have the house get blown to smithereens all over again!"

"I thought what you wanted most was a puppy," her dad said.

She shook her head. "I got my Christmas wish! This even makes up for him getting rid of Disney!" She jumped up and down. Dancing in the falling snow. While the town was getting attacked. "Mr. Vegeta isn't just the bestest babysitter ever! He's the bestest person!"

Krillin poked Goku. "Shouldn't we... um... stop him?"

"Yeah, that would be a good idea," said Goku. "Just as soon as I finish my fourth cup of cocoa." He took a sip from his hot chocolate. He hadn't finished it yet.

"Uh. Right." Krillin sank down.

KRILLIN OWNED COUNT, SPECIAL CHRISTMAS EDITION: 10

"And they all lived happily ever after," said Ghost Nappa. "As the Little Mermaid observed – 'God bless us, everyone.' Especially me!"

Krillin scratched his head. "I thought it was Tiny Tim who said that...?"

THE END