Wednesday December 17
(5 weeks into Dean and Sam's treatment)
When Castiel comes into the kitchen in the morning, hair wet from the shower, Dean smiles. Cas sits down next to him, wearing Dean's AC/DC t-shirt and his gray flannel. With that, and the huge red mark on Dean's neck, Cas seems to be marking his territory in any way he can short of peeing on him. It sends warmth and possession in his chest where that hollowness was after he saw Castiel with Meg because his boyfriend is taking this seriously and showing everyone that they are together and that one else is to touch them.
They get some raised eyebrows, a smirk from Andy, a huge grin from Charlie, and a crushed look from Becky, who sighs dramatically when Cas grabs Dean's hand that's resting on the table. She then trudges out of the room, coffee abandoned.
Thursday December 18
Dean is napping in their room when the door swings open and Castiel rushes in, slamming it behind him.
"Shit, shit, fuck."
Dean is immediately both concerned and confused.
"Cas, what's wrong?"
His boyfriend runs into the bathroom, then back out holding the leather bathroom kit that Dean knows contains his heroin and paraphernalia.
"Room searches," he says, sounding panicked and out of breath. "Give me a pen."
"What? Why?"
Cas doesn't answer, but Dean hands him a pen anyways.
"Fuck, fuck fuck." Castiel gets on his knees on the floor in front of a vent on the bottom of the wall. He starts using the pen cap to unscrew the panel. It takes a minute or two, but he gets it off and crams the drugs inside.
Cas only gets the second screw halfway back in before there's a knock at the door. He jumps away from the vent, stuffing the remaining screws into his pocket and sitting on the bed.
"Come in."
Missouri, Tessa, Ash, and Sarah walk into the room, all wearing rubber gloves. Dean's heart feels like it's going to beat out of his chest. Getting caught might mean Cas getting sent home, where he has next to no chance of recovering.
"If you gentlemen will step out of the room for a while, that would be appreciated," Tessa says.
Dean and Castiel walk out into the hallway where Cas starts pacing, pulling his hair like he does when he's having a panic attack.
"Cas, relax. They probably won't find anything." Dean gently pulls Castiel's hands out of his hair and strokes them with his thumbs.
The group of staff members comes out after fifteen minutes, faces stern, and Dean knows.
"Boys, step into the room with me," Missouri says sternly as the others move on to the next room.
They follow her into the room and Dean sees the contents of Cas' kit spread out on the bed.
"It's mine," Dean blurts out before thinking.
"Don't be ridiculous," Cas says. "It's mine."
Missouri looks at each of them for a few long seconds. "While I'm more inclined to believe that the heroin addict has been using heroin as opposed to the alcoholic, I will have Nurse Barnes drug test you both. Follow me, boys," she says, radiating disapproval.
They're so fucked, Dean thinks as he pees into a cup for Pam. Not only is Cas going to get caught for using heroin, they both smoked weed with—Andy. Dean hopes there was nothing in his room that would prompt Missouri to have him tested.
Missouri glares at them in the waiting area while Pam checks the results until the nurse calls her into the office. Castiel grips Dean's hand tightly with is sweaty one in a vice that Dean would expect from a woman in labor. Dean wants to tell him that everything's going to be okay, but he thinks that no, it really won't be.
When Missouri comes back out she looks like she's channeling the wrath of God, and in a delirious moment, Dean imagines smoke pouring out of her ears.
"My office. Now."
"I don't suppose you'll tell me how you got both heroin and marijuana into my facility."
Castiel shakes his head, shamefully not meeting the therapist's eyes. "You're going to send me home, aren't you?" He grips the arms of the chair until his knuckles turn white. She's going to send him back, back to Zachariah and the community that turned against him.
"No, I'm not making you leave."
Cas digs his fingernails into the leather. "But I'm a lost cause. I'm a drug addict, and that's all I'll ever be," he says sadly. He'll be a prisoner in his own home for the rest of his life.
"Listen to me, Castiel," Missouri says firmly, jabbing a finger in his direction. "Do not view yourself as an addict. You are a person with an addiction. Don't let it define you."
Cas feels a rush of gratitude and just a little speck of confidence.
"There is no doubt in my mind that you will make a full recovery. See those plaques?" Castiel glances around the room and sees several among the wooden spoons. "I earned those because I'm good at what I do. I don't intend to fail you."
Cas doesn't know what to say, but he hopes his expression conveys all of the affection and appreciation he's feeling towards her right now.
"That doesn't mean you're off the hook, though."
Castiel doesn't even care what she's about to say. It's gonna suck, whatever punishment she's about to serve, in addition to the emotional and physical pain of getting clean, but he's not going home. He realizes how screwed up that thought is, when most residents can't wait to get out of Riverside.
"You and Mr. Winchester will be on kitchen duty and other chores for as long as I see fit. You won't be able to go on outings. And you will have random room searches and drug tests."
"Thank you so much, ma'am." He's getting off so easy.
"I'm giving you a second chance, Castiel. Don't let me down."
"You coming rollerskating?" Sam asks excitedly. They're in Dean's room, Castiel in the bathroom, but Dean doesn't have to worry about that anymore.
"Can't," Dean says simply.
"Why not?"
Dean sighs. He has to fess up eventually. "I got drug tested."
"You what? Dean." Dean feels the immense disappointment pouring out of his brother.
Dean raises his hands, palms facing Sam. "It was only weed."
Sam groans, but his shoulders relax.
"Are you pissed?"
Sam runs a hand through his hair (that Dean's been contemplating cutting while his brother is sleeping).
"I should be, but no, not really."
"Seriously?" Dean breathes out a sigh of relief. He didn't get kicked out, and Sam isn't angry.
"It's not alcohol," Sam states.
"No, it's not."
"Just don't get your dumb ass kicked out."
"I won't, Sammy. I promise."
Ellen Harvelle is not nearly as understanding.
"You goddamn," a slap to the side of the head, "ungrateful," a slap to the other side, "idiot!"
Dean winces and clutches his temples. "Ow."
"You're lucky you can even speak with what I'm itchin' to do to you."
"I'm sorry."
She makes a move to hit him again and he ducks away, backing into Castiel, who looks terrified.
"I am so disappointed in you Dean Winchester." Shit, she means business when she uses his full name. "Bobby and I raised you better than this. And Jo, Jo looks up to you."
Dean shamefully avoids her gaze as she turns to Castiel.
"Now, I don't know you well enough to smack you, but that doesn't mean I'll go easy on you, either. You messed up bad, son."
"I understand," Cas says shakily.
"Now, Castiel, you're on dish duty. I want them spotless, you hear? Dean, you'll be working the line with me. When everyone's gotten their food, we have microwave dinners in the back. You'll get fifteen minutes to eat, and then it's back to your chores."
"Yes, ma'am," Dean and Cas say in unison.
"Alright, let's get to work."
Sarah encourages Dean and Castiel to talk about their mistake in wrap-up group. Meg laughs, because she's a bitch and apparently got away with whatever dealings she's been doing. Dean still has no idea how she's getting drugs in, but he wants to find out.
After wrap-up Dean, Castiel, and some of the residents play poker until Missouri stomps in in her slippers and tells the two of them to get their butts into bed.