Don't worry, I won't give excuses. Here's the next chapter!

WhiteWhisperingWind - Haha, guess I'm being too predictable!

Ana (Guest) - oh my gosh, that'd be so cute! Sadly, it doesn't' fit into my plans… but I'll see what I can do to add cuteness!

OtakuKidXD - hehe, I try! Trigger words are sorta essential to this entire story. And I'll think about the cooking thing. Sounds interesting, and it isn't far different than what I had planned.

Guest, Suna Tsukino, Guest (x5), Itharax, Pri-Chan 1410, Jasminesreamsong (Guest), dragonfox123 , AnimeFreakTT_TT, wildtrance - thanks for your review!

Chapter. 5

"Hey, Nii-san, why are people avoiding me? I haven't even killed one of the humans yet." They were running Swindler's Swamp, avoiding most of the creatures while Kallen did her best to get as many people to get eaten as possible by angering the creatures before leaving them to the other running examinees. She'd killed off a decent amount of the group before people learned to avoid her as well as the brothers, but it didn't answer Naruto's question. He hadn't done anything wrong this time. It used to be that if he did something like kill half the village, they living half would try and get rid of him or just stay as far away as possible. But those were the only times people avoid him. Even if he killed their parents people tended to be alright with him. Of course, most of the time they didn't seem to think it was him.

"It's because their weak, Naru-chan. Unlike you, they don't have ways to cover their weaknesses, leaving them exposed and ready to be picked. The ones who are willing to face you are the only ones who matter. They're the ones you'll have fun against." Naruto yawned to block out some of Hisoka's lecture. It wasn't often that his nii-san would give such a long-winded speech, much preferring a few chosen words that could convey what he was thinking, but when he did it was extremely boring, most of the time about life and annoying shit. So Naruto learned to block it out when he seemed to be getting a lecture.

"Kid, I'll make it simple. You. Scare. Them. Happy?" Kallen shouted from across the clearing where she was trying to bait a poor heavy guy into tripping over the tail of some dangerous creature. Naruto hadn't been paying much attention to what she had been doing and had no clue what weird mix this creature would be. Possibly a giant squirrel mixed with a dog with rabies. Yeah, that sounded appropriate. Only the tail thingy looked more plant-like. Maybe it's part vine?

"But what did I do to scare them?" Naruto was full on whining now. He was wanting to be able to fight people, but it seemed that they didn't want to play with him. It was a sad thought, but Naruto was used to only having his nii-chan. And with Kallen here, it would only be more fun. She taught him one of his weaknesses, after all. Knowing one's weakness is a very important skill. What would have happened if someone was able to tickle him without alerting him of their motives and they managed to cut off his limbs as he flailed around? What if he didn't activate his defence systems in time and they were able to render him useless in order to sent him back to that shit hole he used to call a home?

Dark thoughts. Bad Naruto. Stop that. Right, right. They're just crazy people. No need to think about them. No need. Bad thoughts about useless people aren't needed.

"You showed them what you could do." Kallen's voice drew him out of his increasingly influential thoughts, wiping away the short term effects they had on him. "Most people aren't willing to kill a man who seems to be trying to save them."

"But he was lying. And lyings bad, so he needed to be punished. Isn't that right? You aren't supposed to lie, right?" Kallen smiled softly. She had a general idea of what was running through Naruto's mind, seeing as this had happened to her multiple times before she figured her life out. It was mostly a mixture of abandonment issues, identity crisis, PTSD and living with the insane mother fucker known as Hisoka. She never had the Hisoka issue, but the others she knew well. Naruto was most likely having a mental battle with himself in order to figure out what was right and what was wrong. What he should trust and what he shouldn't. If the little voice inside his head was trying to help him or harm him.

"Right. Lying is bad, and that man deserved your punishment. He was planning on hurting the other people here without any reason." Naruto knew the examinees hadn't done anything to the man-thing, and Kallen knew how to deal with Naruto's mind. The way it worked through was that people are only allowed to kill if provoked. Naruto was provoked. The bad man said a horrible word. He deserved a horrible death. The people that bad man was try to harm hadn't done anything. They didn't provoke him. He didn't seem to be on a mission. Therefore it was good of Naruto to get rid of the bad man, since there were two things he was going doing wrong. Bad language and bad reasons. The man deserved death, so Naruto just granted it.

"Okay! So I just scared them. All I have to do is make everything alright again. It'll be fine." Naruto grinned his innocent grin, the deadly grin a faded memory to anyone who saw him now.

Kallen just hoped it would be that easy. When people are scared they tend to imagine things that hadn't happened. Fear warps their vision to the point someone could take Naruto's innocent smiles as something twisted and hateful. Just because the kid could kill them in a moment, doesn't mean they shouldn't be friends. Kallen is living proof that Naruto is just a child looking for a playmate. She hadn't died, so why would someone else?

Of course, Kallen also knew that only someone who was either extremely capable or oblivious would be able to put up with Naruto's actions.

And his older brother. Hisoka was a real problem when it came to Naruto making friends. The damn clown's just to fucking terrifying. Most people who were almost thinking about approaching Naruto were normally scared away by his protective brother.

"Hey, Kallen-nee, someone's provoking nii-san. Is it alright if nii-san kills them, even though they haven't done anything yet?" Naruto was looking behind them to where a group of men were surrounding Hisoka.

"What, the clown's gonna be fighting? I haveta see this! Oh, but he can kill them if he wants to. They got themselves into that position, so anything that happens from this point on is considered their fault. Following that logic, it isn't Hisoka's fault if they die." Naruto was able to accept this answer, and soon got excited for the fight. Seeing as it was a hunter exam, the challengers had to be able to do something to make the battle entertaining. The earlier conversation was stored to the back of his mind until a later time, unneeded in their current situation. Kallen suggested sitting in the trees to watch what was happening.

Hisoka suggested to the people lagging behind that he play examiner, so the number of people would lessen and the later exams would be more interesting. Those pointing their weapons at him scoffed, seeming extremely arrogant. Naruto didn't like their arrogance, but Hisoka would punish them soon enough. Just as one person yelled charge, Hisoka took out the Joker card from his deck and channeled nen into the paper. The now stiff and sharp card flew through the field, slicing through people's flesh. Hisoka took care with some of the people, making sure their eyes were sliced exactly the way he liked. One single, cut through the exact center, leaving an identical amount of the iris for both eyes.

Kallen looked amused.

Hisoka sent him a warning look, already knowing what Naruto wanted to do. It was Hisoka's turn to play, not Naruto's. And Naruto would have to respect that. Kallen forced Naruto to sit back and rest in the tree's curves, pulling him against her in order to calm his energetic body. It was buzzing with energy, yearning to play with this interesting kid who dared to challenge his brother. This kid that would attack with a fishing rod.

Hisoka was going extremely easy on the boy, taunting him and forcing him to face the despair of being incapable of doing anything. He was giving the boy a reason to get stronger, instilling hate into his being and in turn motivation. Naruto approved. Hisoka was doing what Naruto wished he could do. Holding back in order to have more fun later. Naruto's playmates would always break before anything more fun could happen. It was disappointing, but just a fact of his life. People were too weak for him, and it made everything no fun.

Naruto was drawn out of his thoughts by Kallen moving her see-through cape over his body, and he noticed he was shivering, partially in desire and partly due to the cold that was filling the woods.

Kallen was the only playmate who didn't break. She was able to bring him to his knees a year ago, when they were playing in the air. Last year they had aerial stuff, where people were expected to use weird contraptions to fly through the air and pick up stuff. Kallen had a lot of the stuff - some sort of ball thing - and Naruto decided they should play for them. Kallen zipped past him multiple times on the little contraptions as he tried to maneuver his in the right way, all the while attacking each other. Even though Naruto was having difficulties flying, he could tell Kallen was skilled in her desired fighting style, and his body was falling under her control. The way she fought was through poison resting on her dress. As she walked through the crowd of people before the exams started, she had already applied poisons to her dress. Naruto just hoped the horrible scene from when going up the stairs, that gorilla man with all the sweat, was caused by whatever was on her dress at that point, but he had a feeling it wasn't.

People are scary. Especially gorilla men.

But Kallen was the best playmate he had, even better than his brother. She was sweet and funny and really fun to play with! She even came up with little competitions the first exam time, mainly to see how many people they could knock out without killing. Naruto wasn't fully sure, but it did seem she was partly against killing for no reason. Not very against it, because he had seen her kill someone who was being very annoying at the beginning of the last exam, but she seemed to try and stay calm most times, and Naruto could respect that. Not that he enjoyed it. Playing is fun, especially when people show their colors through fighting, in both the physical and metaphorical sense.

"Ya should be friends with dat boy. Seems like a good playmate, but 'member ta go easy on 'im. Kid's still little." Kallen once again drew Naruto out of his thoughts in time to see the boy leaving and Hisoka carrying the gorilla man over his shoulder.

"Did Gorrilla pass?" Kallen hummed in response and Naruto shuttered. He'd rather not have to deal with that guy, way to creepy. But it'd be fine, Hisoka doesn't kill people who can grow strong. Only when they peak will he go in for the kill. That was Naruto's favorite moment in the past, the time when Hisoka was able to reach the depths of pleasure. Hisoka's lust and joy would emanate from his entire being and flow into Naruto. Now it's his second favorite moment. Hisoka's 'ripening' process is the best. Naruto was able to see how affected the people were by his brother's words, how they despair before finally learning their helplessness. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, more so than people's liquid spilling out to feed the earth.

"Naru-chan, it's time for us to head back. Gittarackur said the run should be finishing up soon, so we had better head over to the finish." Naruto grinned and followed, keeping a safe distance away from the gorilla man, Kallen walking next to him with a small smile. Everything was going fine. Naruto would have friends soon enough, ones that were able to keep up with his energy and were children instead of just herself. And Hisoka already had his playmate, Illumi, even if he continues to reject this truth. It wouldn't be long now before Naruto reached full strength and events would fall into action.