Uvivi

Oh, Castle. The hurt she's caused him runs so terribly deep, gushing hot and strong in his veins just as surely as his lifeblood. And now she really gets it, this whole ruggedly dishevelled thing he's got going on. It isn't just that he was alone in the Hamptons but rather that she, Kate Beckett, has so knocked his confidence in himself that even basic maintenance seems pointless.

"Yeah." She says quietly, watching him through the smokescreen of her eyelashes. He's still reeling, she can tell just from the hitch in his chest. And with his mouth parted like that, his bottom lip full and inviting. . .she so badly wants to kiss him. "You had a whole lot more than a chance, Castle."

"What happened to us, Kate?" Castle says morosely, toeing out of his loafers and drawing a leg up onto the couch as if he's settling in for the long haul. The soft cotton of his t shirt pulls taut around his bicep as he shifts and Kate's mouth goes dry with how much she wants to feel those muscles around her. An embrace, yes, but also more energetic activities.

"What do you mean?"

"It felt like we were really getting somewhere. This past year you've become. . .my best friend. And I thought maybe we could be more than that. That we could be great. But then I screwed everything up."

"No, hey." Kate's heart breaks through the steel girders, the scaffolding she's erected around it and bursts right through her chest, her hand reaching out to grab for his. It's the first time - the very first time ever - that she's held his hand and it feels like the earth is shifting beneath them. "You didn't do anything wrong. You asked me to go with you, I said no, so you invited someone else. No one could fault you for that."

For a moment, she isn't entirely convinced that he's heard her at all; he's staring so fervently at the clasp of their hands. And then he glances up at her, and the arm draped across the back of her couch comes closer, enough that his fingertips can brush across the skin of her cheek.

This is a lot of touching. The only time they've ever really touched each other before is for rescue, or for punishment on her part, but this? This is gratuitous, and tender, and her knees are about five seconds away from gushing onto the floor.

"I should have waited longer. You're worth waiting-" He cuts himself off, shoots a tentative glance at her, and Kate lets her face look as open and forgiving as she possibly can. "A very long time for."

What was she saying before? About not being sure of what Castle wants. About wanting more than just to be his conquest. His fingers slide, slow and careful towards her ear and bring with them a loose strand of her hair, tuck it back out of the way. And she knows. He wants everything.

"Castle, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have lied to you about going away with Demming."

"It's fine, Beckett. I guess we both screwed up, right?" He huffs a laugh, but he looks self-conscious and scolded like a little boy. It fills her with the absurd urge to mother him and Kate scoots closer on the couch, close enough that their knees brush together.

Careful not to look at him, Kate splays her free hand at his thigh. They've been sending each other mixed signals for so long, found themselves tangled up and ensnared in the crossed wires and each scuppered away to lick the raw sting of their hurt like wounded animals.

It has to stop. "Me more than you. But no more mistakes. No more lying about how I feel."

Parting her lips, Kate braces herself with the hand at his thigh and leans in, close enough that she can already taste him before he stiffens and jerks backward out of her reach. It stings, lacerating straight down into the pit of her stomach, but Kate takes a steadying breath and waits him out.

"Sorry. I'm sorry. I just. . .want to talk first."

"We talked." Kate shrugs, proud of how even her voice sounds when it comes out. "I didn't think you would be the one to say no to making out on my couch."

His jaw drops and she can't help the smirk that wriggles at the corners of her mouth, has to let it unspool across her face. Richard Castle flustered is something she can definitely get used to. And take delicious advantage of.

"It's not that I don't want to." He huffs, pouting at her, and really. That's not exactly helping right now. "It's just that I still have more to say. And I have this feeling that once I start kissing you, I'm not going to be able to stop."

Her whole body gets washed through with a cleansing fire, skin breaking out in gooseflesh and a tightening in her guts that she hasn't felt in such a long time. Certainly not with Tom.

"Um-oh." She stutters, like an idiot, but at least it cracks his face open around a grin. "What more did you, uh, have to say?"

"When I invited you to the Hamptons with me, it really was just as a friend. You work so hard, and I just wanted to see you relax. But then when I was teasing you about skinny dipping and lotion, I realised that I really meant it. That I wanted to spend time with you outside of the precinct so we could start something."

He looks wiped out after his speech, exhausted, and he sags backwards against the couch and closes his eyes as if he's waiting for her to freak out or slap him or something. As if she didn't just come within a hair's breadth of kissing him not moments ago.

"I know. It scared me, how serious you were." Kate admits, more than a little ashamed of it. It's so incredibly pathetic, how the thought of Castle wanting her had her stiff with terror when all she's done almost from the moment they met is think about how much she wants him.

In her bed. And then yes, more recently, in her heart too.

Castle grimaces and flips his hand underneath hers, knots their fingers together. "I didn't mean to scare you. I just wanted you to see that I meant it. And that you're - Kate-" He waits for her to lift her chin, sits out the battle for her to meet his eyes until she's victorious. "That you're so much more than a conquest."

"Yeah?" She chews on her bottom lip, the corner of her mouth escaping into a smile that is entirely outside of her control.

And he beams. Bright and wide and so good, creases at the corners of his eyes and one side of his mouth lifting a little more than the other. A lopsided grin, and her heart turns somersaults because Castle is hot, she's known that, but he's also really, really cute.

"Yes. You're. . .I think we could be great together. So do you think maybe we could give it a shot? Being together."

Kate watches him for a long moment, takes wicked pleasure in the way his cheeks flush pink and his fingers tighten around hers. Gazing up at him, she pouts just a little and quirks an eyebrow. "Have you finished everything you had to say?"

"Um- yeah."

"Good." She grins, and then Kate slings a thigh over Castle's and sinks right down into his lap. He doesn't even have the time to let out the breath of surprise stuck in his throat, already her hands are cupping his cheeks to hold him in place and her nose is brushing his as she leans in and finally, finally brushes her mouth over his.

A part of her - below the waist, mostly - wants fast and frantic, to let the passion that has imbued their every interaction for the past eighteen months come spilling over. But Castle's hands come up, his body alive beneath her, and one splays between her shoulder blades as the other cradles the side of her face.

Their mouths move slow and oh, so good as they explore each other. Kate licks at the seam of his lips and he jerks, turning his head to break their kiss and panting against her cheek instead. "Kate. God. You're sure?"

"Castle." She breathes, carding a hand through his hair because that's a thing she can do now and yes, it is every bit as soft as she has always imagined it must be. "I've spent the past month thinking about what I should have done differently. Thinking that I was never going to get the chance to tell you how I feel."

"And how do you feel?"

"I want to give us a shot. I want to be with you."

It's quite possibly the bravest thing she's ever said, but she's rewarded with the hot slick of Castle's tongue through her mouth, so she decides that the risk was most definitely worth it.

When her best friend strides through the doors of the morgue Lanie Parish is, quite frankly, terrified. What she did - calling Castle - it was. . .bad. A move that will quite possibly blow up in her face.

"Lanie!" Kate barks, and she stiffens, turning back around to face the indomitable detective as slowly as she can possibly manage to. She waits, shoulders slumped, for Kate to ream her out.

Instead, something weird happens. Beckett's whole face goes soft and her lips peel apart around a grin and then she turns to glance back at the doors and Lanie follows her gaze just in time to watch Richard Castle appear and head right for Kate's side, sliding his hand easily into hers and dusting a kiss over her cheekbone.

Oh. Ohhhhhh.

Her nefarious plan worked. Lanie is about half a second away from throwing her head back and cackling with delight when Kate reaches out, touches her arm.

"I want to thank you. We both needed that extra push that you gave. Thanks for seeing how stupid we were being, even when we couldn't."

"Anytime, Detective." Lanie grins, her gaze shifting back and forth between the two of them for several moments. "So, you two are. . .?"

"We're giving it a shot. Being a couple." Castle says, layer upon layer of delight and relief and cascading joy filtering through his words. He glances over at Beckett next to him and Lanie feels like maybe she ought to look away.

Give the two of them a private moment. "I'm so glad. I really couldn't take much more of either of you moping."

"Right." Kate laughs, shaking her head at herself. "Well. Thank you."

She turns to go and Lanie lets out a snort of disbelief, folding her arms across her chest and waiting for Kate to turn and face her again. "I don't think so, girlfriend. You two finally did the deed? I'm gonna need details."

Honestly? She has no idea which of the two of them is blushing harder.

fin.