Hello every one, begins here a AU fic on SNK.

It will be a quite long one, and I'll post chapters with regularity.

This story will be greatly inspired by my own school life, like a real diary, witch gives a personal side to the story.

As always, I point in italic musics to listen sometimes!

Well, enough said, I just remember you that it is for now a T fic, and that it will surely go with M alter ;)

Enjoy, see you ;)

[BACK HIM/FUCK HIM]

DAY 0: READY FOR HELL

Listen to : Je t'aime, moi non plus – Serge Gainsbourg

The blond guy tenderly looks at me.

Nothing but a few seconds.

I can feel his arousal in his great blue eyes.

Then he envelops her in his strong arms, slowly.

Still watching me a little. Damn him!

Why would I look at him? Fuck…

No, just stay strictly to that chick.

She has a nice body after all.

Her smooth and shiny skin, glowing under the strange light of the room.

"Come on bitch, you can suck this way better" I said.

She doesn't seem to like my comment, though, she swallows the whole thing again under my pleased eyes.

The guy is preparing her.

Lying a ply on the table.

Feeling an odd thing growing in my jeans.

Eren, fuck, try to calm down.

The girl is like on a desert island, surrounded by the blue sea.

She.

On the beach.

Cutting some vegetables.

And the man finally penetrates her.

I'm not ready for what I see.

And that woman just start screaming suddenly.

Tack tack tack.

"Shut up ! Shit !" I rage against her.

I decrease the volume.

Great trees.

Carrot in the casserole.

He enters in her and moans.

Damn, she is hot…

Great soup in preparation.

I'm not going to resist a long time in this situation.

"I love you girl, I love you" I repeat to myself.

"Eren ?" Asks someone downstairs.

They are on white paradisiacal sand.

I'm about to…

The girl finally looks at me, and licks her upper lip.

Oh, yeah, I would like to do the same thing to you.

I slowly grab a tissue in the corner of my desk.

Sounds of scratching on my door.

The blond dude is really horny it seems, he always asks more.

I can feel the heat in my willy.

Calm down.

Calm down!

"I'm gonna come, sorry" Says the guy.

"Yeah, me too" I answer.

My skin is boiling.

My heart jumps every seconds.

And the climax comes.

As the guy just realizes on her body, I finish myself in the tissue and close my eyes with pleasure.

The door suddenly opens.

"Hey, the soup is rea…"

I drop from my chair and look with a horrified face to my older sister, at the threshold of my bedroom.

She seems surprised, more than disgusted:

"Oh, sorry Eren…" And she quickly closes the door, letting a small smile cross her face.

"Fuck!" I say to myself, still hiding my body, as if all the world was staring at me.

Shit! What just happened? My sister saw me jerking off ? I never felt so bad, seriously.

At least, it's not mom'…

But, shush, what a terrifying sensation.

I rapidly clean the desk and close the website where I was watching the video. Damn, I would like to become just a piece of cake, or a little mouse… To hide me...

Now Mikasa is going to play with what she saw all her life! I know her tricky attitude Oh too well. She can be evil. And what if she blackmailed me with this episode? I'm doomed now!

She has no mercy towards me. I know her games... She rules the things in our floor. Time to wake up, the time to eat... My parents listent to her carefully. And he funny thing is that, she was adopted. Still don't know why.

I grab my boiling head in my hands and scratch my forehead furiously.

"Eren! Dinner!" Called my mom from downstairs.

So Mikasa was taking me to the living room where we were about to eat… I really should have listened to the noises of the cooking… Damn the crying actors of this blue movie!

I take a moment to breathe normally and look at my tidy room, well cleaned after a few hours of washing. I usually let my room messy as hell, but, as my mother told me this morning "You must begin the new year in good conditions…"

Yeah, that seems full of sense. She is always behind me to watch carefully all my moves. My mom is nice but way to protective… I'm already eighteen and I feel like those damned children at elementary school. Last year she was checking every night if I had done my homework, seriously.

And if you are curious about my father's behavior towards his beloved son, just imagine that old wood-made furniture of your living room, staring at you and radomly spiting cold words in the air sometimes.

And you just apperceived my dear sister, who is the reason I want to have a lock on my door.

Well, that's my life guys…

But I suppose I'm not the one to be sad about.

I just live with it and situation is not going worse every day so, why should I complain?

I take life as it comes and try to keep smiling. I really think a smile can save you in a bad situation sometimes. I don't take things the bad way and I usually never focus like a maniac on details.

The incident with Misaka?

Maybe in two days I will have completely forgotten it. It's not he end of the world...

Well, there was no other way to describe me.

I was that peaceful dude, soon entering in the first year of a hard school. All my friends had chosen some faculties – easy way, had muttered my father – and I have been accepted to Titan's preparation school.

As I go to the living room, the scent of a well-known recipe of my grandpa exites my nose and I suddenly feel happy.

And of course, when I manage to have my seat in front of Mikasa at the table, she looks at me with a perverse grin and sings:

"Eren, you should really wash your hand…"

Thanks for that nice moment sis'. I was about to forget this awkward instant with you.

"Mikasa is right, go to the bathroom quickly" My mother insists.

"Yeah, I was on my way…" I groan.

My dad watches me leaving the room with his sleepy face of the hard worker man and closes his eyes.

A father? This old corpse?

Shush…

In the bathroom, I see my pale face, my brown and large eyes into the mirrors and feel I am not that good looking. Tired? I slept a lot during the holydays though… It is more anxiety. I try to smile, but my heart is clearly not in the mood.

Every new year, it is the same sensation inside me, filling pain in my stomach. I'm stressed to the bones by this school. Not because it is one of the most difficult of the town, but simply because I know absolutely no one there. A brand new world.

I quickly wash my hands and dry them as my spirit is already imagining the next days.

Back to my seat, I try to stay focus on the good diner and the hot soup in my plate, but the images of the porn video suddenly emerge in my mind, adding some sexual contents to my year in Titan's school. Damn me!

My sister, as if she could watch what is happening in my head, smiles again and asks me :

"May I have the salt ? Dear Eren?"

Girls…

"Yeah…" I answer, not feeling it was the moment to begin a verbal fight.

"You seem nervous Eren" Says Mom, as I am taking a first taste.

"That's normal I suppose"

"Well, why would you not try to relax yourself with my meditation exercises?" My mother asks.

"Ohm, come on, not again" I complain.

"I'm serious, you could borrow my book if you want" She insists.

"I'm not in the mood for your fengshui things mom."

"Alright" She mutters. "But don't be upset if you cannot find sleep tonight."

"Eren is not ready for tomorrow I think" Remarks the black-eyed sister of mine.

"Shut up Mikasa…"

"Eren!"

"She is asking for it since the beginning!"I answer to my mom.

"Don't play her game, that's all…"

Mikasa smiles at me and starts eating slowly.

I have the bad sensation that everybody is just staring at me.

"And you Mikasa ? Ready?" I ask, trying to turn the attention on her.

"Of course, what do you think?" She says proudly.

"Your sister was the first of her class last year" Says mom.

"Yeah, I think she told us this detail like a hundred times"

Silence.

I tempt a quick look to my father, watching his spoon.

"The soup is great" He says slowly.

"Yes!" I add, smiling.

My mother loves when we say good things on her cook. A soft grin appears through the dim lights of the room. She is beautiful tonight.

"Well, I thought that before the great day, you too would be glad to eat your favorite plate!"

"Hey, I just enter in the last year of college, that's all." Says Mikasa, clearly confident.

"But Eren deserves this, doesn't he?" Asks mother.

"Yeah…"

And Mikasa stretches herself before leaving the table.

I also want to leave now, but I know that this week I'm on the cleaning. It's my turn. I look with a sad cat face my mother who seems to understand my deep and dark pain:

"Eren, you can go to your room, I'm going to take care of that tonight"

"Thanks mom!" I jolt before going to my room.

Ah… At least, I have won that little victory.

One hour later, and I'm all prepared for the next day.

My black bag, check

My uniform which I find quite elegant (for once), check.

And above all my stuff to face the day happens, all check.

I cannot wait.

I am paralyzed by fear, and in the same time, so impatient.

This is the beginning of a new year.

And I have a fucking pain in the belly.

Stop thinking Eren…

It's going to be wonderful.

Let's just go!

END OF THE DAY 0

THANKS FOR READING

(Reviews are my jam)