Author's Note: Sorry, sorry! I fixed the super funky chapter format! Had no idea was like that. Thanks Isa for telling me!
It had been a process – to see Sousuke – mostly due to miscommunication of information from doctor to nurse and also, because of Rin who refused to actually walk through the door. It wasn't that he didn't want to see him. Hell, he had wanted to do nothing else but see Sousuke for himself since he had rushed over. He was just afraid so it took a while. It had probably taken more time than it should have for Makoto to coax him into just putting his hand on the door. And at the time, Rin had wished for the medical staff to allow for more than one visitor. It made things a bit more nerve-racking but it would have been silly to make everyone wait for him. He knew that. Because life wasn't stopping for none of them. Nagisa and Rei had evening classes and Haruka had a competition in the morning. Which after so much reassuring, left only Makoto to linger, his emerald eyes glancing worriedly between Rin and the others.
"Are … are you sure you don't want at least one of us to stay, Rin?"
Makoto was such a fucking angel. He had been nothing short of concerned, placid tones and glossy green eyes the entire time but Rin had somehow managed to convince the tender-hearted male to follow after their friends and that's how he ended up sitting in a slightly uncomfortable chair while combing his fingers through Sousuke's hair. It was just the two of them in this stillness for now and as Rin sat there clutching a damp wad of tissues in his lap while trying not to pay needless attention to the beeping machine, clear tubes and wires, he was glad that he was the only one visiting tonight. He couldn't directly pinpoint the reason but there was just something about this whole moment felt too fragile to share and so, so personal. Rin caressed Sousuke's cheek and leaned in to kiss the soft skin there. He needed this time alone. The doctors had undoubtedly called Sousuke's parents by now but with them being half way around the globe for some kind of vacation, it'd be some time before they were able to get back and that's if they had the money to purchase two new tickets. Not to mention that they hadn't exactly been the kindest of parental figures since Sousuke bravely announced he was in a relationship - with his male best friend no less.
Rin sniffed as he just barely pulled away and let his mind ease for what had to be the first time in hours. That was something he didn't think he'd be doing anytime soon. Relaxing or sort of half relaxing. He inhaled Sousuke's scent while pressing light kisses along his temple and jaw. Breathing in sleep scent mingled together with dry soap and the muscles between his shoulder blades uncoiled when Sousuke released a heavier breath through his nose. Rin allowed himself a small smile. It was still terrible but … not the same kind of terrible as before. The feelings that guessing gave off were much worse than this. For him at least, because Sousuke was alive and breathing and he knew that. Guessing was no longer needed.
"Hey babe …" His voice was broken and raw, raspy from an unpleasant mixture of crying, fatigue and disuse. "You know, I'll be a lot happier when you wake up."
Rin couldn't say how long he'd been in that seat. Not really. He only knew that visiting hours were long over and when some RN tried to get him to leave, he had pitched a fit until one of the head nurses gave in and told him he could stay for a couple extra hours – or the night.
And he was planning to sleep right in this chair because he wasn't leaving. Nope.
He didn't even need to call their coach to tell him that he'd be skipping practice tomorrow because Rin had been keeping him posted practically all day, alternating between brief phone calls and messy text messages and although he was certain he had a comparative religion essay and a calculus packet due just over the next three days, all that would have to wait. Or actually he could just bring his backpack tomorrow, Rin thought and made a mental note to grab his laptop, flag-itsticky notes and whatever else he normally kept at home. He'd bring everything here. No need to get kicked off the team for failing classes.
Sousuke's hand was warm, a good sign to Rin. He planted kisses on each knuckle, his thumb brushing over the ridges and all of a sudden he started to worry about what would happen when he woke up.
Sousuke.
Sousuke's dream was being knifed through once again damn it because of this. He would have to stop competing and holy shit. Sousuke was going to be absolutely crushed. He knew it. He just knew it – because Rin was feeling crushed right now.Blinking, there it was; the pooling wetness in his eyes.
No. Stop.
Rin shook his head. He had purposely forbidden himself from thinking about the injury so he could stay strong. He held his breath and tilted his chin, glossy eyes glancing at the ceiling as he clenched his jaw. Another attempt to just calm down, again. And just like that he was breathing steady once more, eyes drawn back to Sousuke's sleeping face. They'd cross that bridge when they got there, is what he firmly told himself and he was actually sort of relieved when his idle thoughts were interrupted by one of Sousuke's nurses who, for the umpteenth time that night, had curtly knocked and came in. The guy, he had forgotten his name, must have been accustomed to being on his feet for hours on end because after all this time he was still practically gliding around the room with an oddly calm sense of urgency.
"Are you doing alright? Would you like anything to drink, sir?"
Rin sat back, sighing in thought. He'd really appreciate it if he dropped the 'sir' but he could definitely do with a drink. Maybe something caffeinated? Then again … caffeine was probably the last thing he needed.
"Yeah, sure." Rin nodded and watched him work. Fiddling with the machines, replacing drip bags, fluffing Sousuke's pillow and unnecessarily smoothing out the near nonexistent creases in his sheets because really, it's not like Sousuke had moved an inch since Rin's been in the room. Unfortunately.
"Hot chocolate okay? Or are you feeling like you wanna have some coffee? We got a lemonade machine too, you know, in case you want some of that." The blonde quickly listed off all the different assortment of drinks as he whipped a pen from the breast pocket of his plain, black scrub uniform – which wasn't cheery at all in Rin's opinion but thankfully his borderline upbeat personality made up for it – and every so often glimpsed at the monitor screen as he scribbled stuff down, probably stats, in a folder.
"Um, hot chocolate sounds good."
"You should probably eat too, if you haven't already."
It was like he was nursing both of them. And in a way he pretty much was because in the hours he'd been there he'd received the TV remote thank the lord because he'd be watching it later, three granola bars and fruit to keep up his strength. But he wasn't hungry. Not tonight at least.
"Nah, I'm okay."
He really couldn't imagine stuffing his face when Sousuke hadn't eaten a thing yet.
Rin could tell that the nurse really wanted to argue from the way his gray irises lingered on Rin's trembling fingers before coming up to bore into his more than likely hazy, near bloodshot eyes. But he didn't and Rin was relieved for it because he was calmer than before, but still just frustrated enough -wired up enough- to argue back against his better judgment. The poor guy could probably see it too because he just furrowed his brows and heaved a tiny sigh before telling Rin he'd be back shortly.
When he heard the click of the door, he reached forward again, letting his forearms rest against the bed while he took Sousuke's hands in his own. The fatigue creeping up on him was the kind that made your body tremor and he had to fight to keep his head up although he could've sworn that just a few minutes ago he felt energized enough to be up for another hour or so. It was futile though. Fighting sleep was, that is. He could feel himself losing the battle to stay awake as he partially focused on the steady rise and fall of the raven's chest, his eyelids slipping like there were weights attached to them. Hopefully the nurse would wake him up for that drink.