A/N
Moment of truth… the complete story of Freddi's memory. The massacre of her village. If people cry -passes virtual tissues- and I hope you guys get to understand why Freddi was so hesitant about her past. It's a short one, but I hope you like this chapter. More twists and turns coming your way! Enjoy!
Re-uploaded and edited for grammar errors, and time jumps
I am so sorry it was taking this long to update a story. My year has been a little hectic! Here is the new chapter.
Chapter 22
Sam and Dean sat before her at the little table in the corner of the motel room. Freddi was sitting on a book as a feeble attempt to give her a boost to their level. Sam exchanged looks with his big brother, then focused on her. He was warned outside before he came in that this wasn't going to be easy for her and he braced himself for anything. She tended to be unpredictable when she was upset.
Freddi addressed Sam first. She didn't know what to really say, but she knew she had to say something, attempt to fix some of the damage she caused, "I'm sorry, Sam. I never wanted to hurt you. Nothing should ever justify yelling at you like that, regardless if it's an anniversary or not."
"We saw the ruins. It's okay," Sam reminded her gently, his eyes already glistening. "I can't imagine what it must have been like for you at such a young age."
Though he had seen truly horrifying things in his life, he was suddenly grateful he had no memory of that fateful fire back in Kansas. Dean alone bore that memory between them.
"I know," Freddi said, looking away. "I couldn't talk about it before, but I realize it's not healthy for me anymore. I trust you guys; I should have been able to talk to you about these things a long time ago."
"Freddi, this is a big part of you, your past," Sam softly responded. He could the guilt still going through her. She didn't need to feel bad about reaching her breaking point. "Just breathe and take your time."
"I will warn you. This not going to be pretty…and it's not going to be easy for me," she could tell they were waiting for her to go on, their eyes completely locked on her. With a deep breath, Freddi started her story, "I-I was five, helping my mom with some of the things she couldn't do so far in her pregnancy, when my dad and brothers came home from one of their hunts. Things were…Things were good."
The tears were already started to fall, her gaze looking off as she recalled her memories, "It wasn't until dinner when we heard a crash outside followed by several screams. Dad went out to investigate. I watched out the window and I saw him just getting grabbed by a giant, white hand. Had I known at that time he would be grabbed and held hostage…"
She paused to control the hitch in her voice, "I don't know what I could have done. I probably couldn't have saved them, no matter what I did. Any attempt to change things and I'd probably die with everyone else instead."
Sam and Dean could hardly begin to imagine how to comfort her.
"You know it's not your fault," Sam finally said, feeling inadequate already. "Your family would be proud of how you've grown."
Freddi nodded, still partially locked in her memories. The story was far from over, "We only had a two second warning before we started to smell smoke in the house…and it didn't take long it to turn in a full-fledge fire. It spread fast, like the house was doused in alcohol. Me and my mom managed to get out of the house, but my brothers…they ended up trapped inside somehow.
"I didn't see them in the house…but…b-but I could hear them. I-It was horrible, hearing my brothers' screams and cries as they were burning alive in that house. We…We had to leave them…and I hate that we did that when my mom dragged me away.
"Our house…It wasn't only house that lit on fire. I can still feel the heat. Fire and chaos was everywhere…People were running and screaming and my mom tried to take me somewhere safe; well, the best she could at eight months pregnant…but…"
Freddi hitched again, the tears breaking her voice again before continuing. She needed to finish her story; they had to hear it, "But I got separated from her as our hands slipped in the crowds. I panicked and I tried to look for her, but by the time I found her…"
She trailed off for a moment, trying to keep more tears at bay unsuccessfully. She took more deep breaths, "Her body…Her body was still warm. Sh-She couldn't have been dead for more than five minutes."
Dean was leaning forward, his face ashen with grim sympathy. He shook his head, a burning hatred growing ever stronger inside him.
Sam slipped a hand around Freddi's back, his thumb gently rubbing against her shaking shoulder. There were no words from the horror she had seen.
Tears still fell Freddi's cheeks, even in her attempt to damn up emotions. She wiped away the tear trails from her cheeks, "I could hear people screaming everywhere as they were dying one-by-one. I was running out of time, so I…I did what I needed to do; I crawled under the corpses and played dead."
She paused again, trying to calm down a little, her voice getting softer as she uttered, "Th-The corpse above me was my…it…it was my mom and I...I couldn't do anything. Her eyes were still open; they were cold and empty...
"I-I kept feeling a small, weak pressure tapping against my skin as I continued to lay on the ground," the tears fell faster as she was completely emotional, "…It came from my mom's stomach. My baby sister was still kicking. She was…She was still alive and I-I couldn't save her. I didn't know how. I just stayed there, forced to feel my baby sister slowly die for what felt like hours until it…it weakened to nothing. Less and less people were screaming and dying around me until eventually there was practically silence."
Freddi slowly finished her story, her tears lessening, but the emotions evident in her voice, "Yellow-eyes just stood there, satisfied with his work, holding my unconscious father in a tight fist. He woke up my father with a laugh to let him see the aftermath….M-My father barely had twenty seconds to react before the demon snapped his neck without regret…and added him to the corpse pile like he was throwing away a piece of trash. I can't ever forget the laugh Yellow-eyes made as he walked away, leaving me with the fires and the bodies to salt and burn. After that, I left…I never, ever wanted to go back.
"I didn't talk for a while after that and it took two years to reteach myself to speak again. The nightmares haunted me and the anniversaries…they're the worst. My mind goes on a continuous loop of that night. I can't even look at my reflection. I just see my mom...I'm the spitting image of her and…"
Freddi was cut off before she could say anything else.
Sam felt sick to his stomach. She could recall everything and Sam didn't know how deep her wounds were…He had been giving her the cold shoulder. She cared for him and he just hurt her even worse; he made her feel like she couldn't talk to him.
He cradled Freddi in a loose fist and held her to his chest. He could see Dean's taken aback expression, but Sam wasn't going to back down this time.
"I'm so sorry," it wasn't much, but it was all he could say.
He could feel her struggle against him. Did she distrust his touch that much? Sam continued to keep her close, not letting her hide away again. She wasn't crying anymore, but she wasn't saying anything either.
"Don't fight it," he said gently, hugging her a little closer, surrounding her completely, "Just let someone hold you for once. You're not carrying this one your own this time. You shouldn't have to feel like you do."
Dean sniffled and stood up. The air was getting thick in the room and Freddi needed this. She needed reconciliation with Sam during this tough time. Dean figured he could help her later with the best way he knew how.
"I'm gonna go to the station…you need a drink."
Freddi grew too exhausted to fight against Sam for long. With slow deep breath, she gave in to his best attempt for a hug without saying a word. She didn't exactly ask for it, but he still gave it to her, even when she wanted to kick and scream in resistance. She just felt exhausted, physically and emotionally. Dean was right; she needed a drink.
The impala's engine faded, and Sam and Freddi were left in the aftermath of her catharsis. After a few moments of clinging to her, Sam pulled his hand away, Freddi falling back with gravity into his palm. She was flustered and her cheeks were still puffy from crying.
"Do you…you want me to put you down?"
"That would be great," She responded, trying to calm herself down. She was doing her best to avoid his gaze, even as it was drilling against her skull.
Sam started to lower her to the table, but changed his mind, bringing her back to him and carrying her to the bed instead. He watched the tiny girl step off his hand, barely indenting the covers as she took a seat. She still looked distracted in her tense posture, locking her hands around her bent knees.
He could still feel echoes of her presence on his hand. He finally broke silence after a few moments, "Do you mind if I lay next to you? I just wanna rest my eyes for a while."
"Go ahead," Freddi shrugged with her answer. "It's not like I take much room here."
Sam laid down carefully beside her, stretching out his long legs. He left plenty of room; unnecessary, but he hoped she could see he was trying to give Freddi as much space as a giant could. He inhaled deeply, eyes shutting. He could still feel the tension in the air around her. She was worked up about all this.
He rolled over to face her, but kept his eyes closed. Sam's hand slid up along the covers, blindly feeling for her tiny form. When he found her, his fingers molded along her side, stroking her skinny arm in silence, slowly pushing her to unlock herself.
Freddi grew aware of her rotating friend, but didn't react much to it. She'd grown used to it ever since she met them, but then he patted around the bed with his eyes closed. She almost didn't know what he was searching for until it clicked in her mind that he was looking for her. She didn't flinch or tense as his finger brushed along her leg before moving to wrap the hand around her. The rubbing was successful in calming her down, but there was still trouble on her mind.
"Sam?" Freddi asked, her voice was quiet, yet clear at the same time. "I want to know. Why did you suddenly get so uncomfortable with me? What changed?"
Sam came up with an answer off the top of his head. Not the truth, but close enough that it was believable, "I guess something just switched in me. I was so afraid of hurting you. You're just so…tiny, you know?"
Freddi looked up at the closed-eyed man with a puzzling sigh. Things didn't exactly add up in her mind, but it was the most truthful statement he's told her since her birthday. She'd take it temporarily, "I'm a big girl, no pun intended. I think I've proved that my size doesn't hinder my ability to help. So, no more, okay?"
Sam let out a short laugh as he agreed, "Okay then."
The next morning, Sam and Freddi sat at the table over a newspaper article and several supplemental sources on Sam's laptop. Dean pulled up a chair and joined them, "Gimme the lowdown again?"
"All right, about a month or two ago, this group of kids goes poking around this local haunted house…apparently, a pretty misogynistic spirit. Legend goes, it takes girls and strings them up in the rafters. Anyway, this group of kids see this dead girl hanging in the cellar."
"No ID of the corpse?" Dean exchanged bewildered looks with Freddi.
"Well, that's the thing," Sam continued. "By the time the cops got there, the body was gone, so the cops are saying the kids were just yanking chains."
"What makes you think they're right?"
"I hm….read some convincing testimonies on a local site-" Dean saw his brother blushing a little as he leaned over Freddi to read the name of the website.
" ?" Dean snorted. It sounded like it was made by forever virgins in their mom's basement.
Freddi laughed along with Dean, but also gave her opinion before informing them something, "I think we should at least check it out. It might be a case…but I want to try out the wording again. If I can be more help at a bigger size, then I'm not hesitating."
"Alright, let's see what you got," Sam agreed. He picked her up and set her on the floor carefully. Then, he stood back and exchanged glances with his brother. So far this size changing business had been temporary at best.
Freddi took a deep breath, trying to ignore the drilling gazes of her boys, before reciting a clearer version of the wordings that she had been studying. She was nervous, but her desire to help, and to be normal sized, was way more powerful than some nerves. When she was finished with the last words, she could feel her body changing, growing back to her five-foot-five size…but she could something was different halfway through the process.
Nothing was recognizable. Her mind was empty and she didn't know where she was. She stood up and when she turned around, there were two tall men staring right at her.
Sam and Dean watched with awe and apprehension as the young woman stood up, a dozen times her previous stature. She looked stunned and a bit dizzy.
"Not bad, kiddo," Dean stepped forward, putting on a smile for her sake. He wrapped her up in a hug, like he was welcoming her back from a visit elsewhere.
She was at a loss about the shorter man coming for her. He acted so buddy-buddy with her and yet, she had no memory of him. She didn't hesitate to struggle with his tight bear hug though, "What the hell? Get your hands off me!"
She must have spooked him more than she thought because she was able to rip out of his grasp and see how surprised he looked, "Who are you guys? Where am I?"
Dean blinked, bewilderment darkening his features. He exchanged a look with Sam before looking back at Freddi. To their dismay, she was completely serious.
Sam stepped forward, already getting a bad feeling about this.
"Freddi, calm down. You know us…We're your friends," he spoke slowly, like to a skittish child. Sam took another step forward. "Just…take a deep breath, okay? Let's talk."
She stepped back, making sure there was still distance between them. He called her Freddi…was that her name? Why couldn't she remember? What else did they know about her?
Sam stopped in his tracks out of respect. He glanced once more behind him and knew that his brother was thinking along the same lines as him, "Look, I know you're scared, but I promise, you know us. I think this is the side effect from the growing process this time."
There was a part of…"Freddi" that wanted to believe them, her instincts…but she didn't want to follow them. She just wanted to get out of there. They were just looking at her with these indescribable gazes, "'Growing process?' Do you know how insane that sounds? You're right; I am scared. I'm in some room with strangers…"
Sam didn't know what to say. She didn't even remember she had a size changing ability? This was quickly degrading from bad to worse. They stood between her and the door. As hunters, they recognized the look in her eyes: fight or flight.
Dean braced himself; if he were to bet money, he would say she was going to try to run.
Freddi's hand clenched in the silence, her eyes never leaving the boys. She needed to get out of there, but it seemed like they could fully take her down if she wasn't smart about this. Against her better judgment, she started to walk forward towards them. Her emotion-filled eyes locked onto the taller man's and her heart lurched for a moment…wait, what the hell was that?
When she was close enough to them, she bolted. Freddi pushed her way through, her skinny physique and flexibility allowing her to bend and slip away. She didn't know where all this came from. She just made it to the door and started running, hearing a loud "Dammit!" from the open door.
A/N
Uh-Oh…on many different things. Sorry if her story is a tear jerker, but it kinda needed to be. On the other hand, Freddi tries again with her size…and loses her memories. How is that going to go down? I will update soon. I hope you liked this!