Chapter Five: Strains of Memory

The rest of the night passed in quiet, and without incident. Yuki gave Ayame his medicine and took him to the bathroom just before bed, and both of them slept through the night.

The following morning was equally quiet. Ayame slept through his preparations for school. Tohru made breakfast, and some rice and soup for Ayame and Shigure for lunch before going to get ready for the school day. Unlike the morning before, she didn't protest going, but she was quieter and sadder than normal. Yuki could tell that her behavior was worrying both Kyo and Shigure, but he wasn't quite sure what was going on. He knew he was missing something, but he couldn't remember what.

The trip to school was quiet, all of them lost in their own thoughts. Yuki was so busy trying to go over his history notes in his head, and thinking about his brother, that he didn't realize Hanajima and Arissa had joined them until a hand clamped on his shoulder. He blinked, looking up into Arissa Uotani's face. "Yes?"

"Got a minute? Hana and I need to talk to you." Arissa's expression made it clear that he'd better have a minute.

Class wasn't due to start for a few more minutes, so he nodded. "I think so."

"Great." Arissa clapped him on the back, then turned and led him down the hall, outside to a deserted corner of the lot. Then she turned to him, folding her arms across her chest and fixing him with a glare that could have melted metal. "All right. Spill. What happened?"

"I beg your pardon?" He frowned.

"What happened?" Arissa huffed, blowing hair out of her eyes. "You all disappear for days, and then when you come back, Tohru's upset. She's been down ever since you guys returned to school. And she won't say why, so it figures it's gotta be something with you Sohmas. So spill. What did you and Orange-Top do this time?"

"We didn't."

"Well something must have happened. It's not like Tohru to be upset over nothing." Hana spoke up, moving to stand beside her friend. Her face was expressionless as always, but her tone was dark, and he could feel the slight crackling in the air.

"I wouldn't say it's nothing. But it isn't Kyo and I's fault either." Yuki sighed. "It's just...it's my brother."

"He hurt her? Do I need to beat him up?" Arissa cracked her knuckles.

"No. Nothing like that. We were visiting him, and he and I got into an argument. I left but...I wasn't watching, and a car..." He swallowed. "A car came around the corner. It almost hit me. My brother pushed me out of the way."

Arissa deflated, shoulders slumping. "Damn. How bad's he hurt?" Anxiety sharpened her expression a moment later. "He didn't die, did he?"

"No. But he did break several bones. He can't be left alone, so he's staying with us until he recovers."

"The car hit your brother instead of you. But you don't seem very concerned about this fact." Hana's tone was cool.

"I...I am concerned. But it's..." He sighed. "It's complicated. My brother and I haven't exactly had the easiest relationship. He did save me, and I'm very appreciative, but the situation is..." He paused, searching for the words. "It's hard to explain, exactly."

"Whatever." Arissa brushed that aside. "I'm guessing that Tohru knows what happened?"

"She was there. She saw the whole thing. She tried to warn me."

"That is...unfortunate." Hanajima exhaled slowly.

"Unfortunate? Are you kidding me?" Arissa scowled and shoved her hair out of her face. "It's amazing Tohru's gotten this far. I'm surprised she even came to school, if that's what happened."

"It is quite impressive."

"I think Shigure made her." Yuki spoke up, hesitant to draw their attention, but wanting to clarify matters. "He and Kyo...they've been very adamant about getting her out of the house. They sent her away from the hospital too."

Arissa huffed out a breath, relaxing from the tension of a moment before. "Well, thank god Orange-Top and the Writer Guy have some sense."

Hanajima, on the other hand, fixed him with a dark stare. "You seem confused."

"A bit, I suppose. I know Miss Honda is upset, but..."

"Upset? That's one way of putting it." Arissa scowled. "Didn't she ever tell you what happened to Kyoko?"

Kyoko. Tohru Honda's mother. "I knew she passed away shortly before she came to live with us...I'm not sure I ever heard the details."

"It was a car accident." Arissa scowled. "She was coming home from work. People say she tripped or fainted or something and fell into the intersection. There was a car turning the corner, and it didn't stop in time. They got her to the hospital, but her injuries were too bad. She only held on long enough for Tohru to get there."

It felt like he'd been punched in the stomach. By Kazuma-sensei. Like all the air had left his lungs, and there was no way to get it back. "I...I had no idea..."

"Imagine how it must feel. To see someone else in the very same situation she was in so recently. And then, to have that person's loved one survive, and that person not even appreciate that gift...the gift Tohru would give anything to have...imagine how that must feel. And for Tohru, who doesn't have an envious bone in her body, to see someone who was granted the greatest gift she could ever imagine...fighting to be happy for that person...trying to help while simultaneously trying not to remember everything she's lost...how hard it must be for her."

Hanajima's words were quiet, but they might have been knives for the way they cut into him. He'd thought her little lecture on New Year's Eve a year or so ago had been biting, but this was far worse.

No wonder Shigure and Kyo had been so careful. He'd been so wrapped up in the tangle of emotions between himself and Ayame, he hadn't noticed. But of course...he recalled that Tohru had spoken to Shigure about her mother, that first night. He'd only caught the tail end of the conversation, right before she fell asleep, but of course Shigure would know. Even if she hadn't told him, he'd have looked into it before taking over Tohru's care. And Kyo...well, Kyo obviously knew something too. How and why didn't matter.

He knew Tohru cared fiercely for everyone in the Sohma family. Everyone she'd met, anyway. He remembered how frantic she'd been when he'd had a cold. How worried she'd been when Kyo and Shigure had gotten ill. The way she'd cared for Hatori, her easy friendship with Kagura. How she'd even reached out to nurture Kisa from her shell, and broken through Hiro's anger. And how she'd encouraged him to bridge the gap between himself and his brother, subtly coaxing Ayame into continued efforts, and welcoming the snake Zodiac member into the house.

"I...I'm sorry. I guess I haven't been paying proper attention." He swallowed hard.

"Yeah. Well, I guess you get a pass this time. It is your brother after all." Arissa sighed. "I don't have any siblings but I guess, even if you fight, you would be worried after something like that."

"At least now we know what has happened. This way, we can help Tohru, and leave Yuki to deal with his brother." Hanajima tilted her head at him, regarding him with dark eyes. "I trust you will do your best on that front?"

"Of course." And he meant it. He'd always intended to do his best to help Ayame, but now...knowing what he did now, he resolved to put in even more effort. Not just to helping his brother recover, but also into mending the relationship between them.

The matter of his brother, and Tohru's past, occupied him for the rest of the day. He paid enough attention to his classes to avoid any major embarrassment, but that was all. He was far more interested in watching the way Arissa and Hanajima stayed beside Tohru, giving her extra hugs and smiles and warmth. And the way Kyo lingered on the sidelines, watching over them.

After school, Arissa and Hanajima coaxed Tohru into going grocery shopping. Kyo was dragged in to act as a bag carrier, leaving Yuki to walk home alone. He almost protested and offered to go with them, but the look Hana gave him behind Tohru's back was enough to remind him of his promise and convince him otherwise.

He couldn't stop thinking about everything he'd learned over the past several days. Ayame had fought for him. Ayame had supported his escape from Akito, to the point he'd been cut off from family support.

His brother had saved him, in spite of the harsh words they'd exchanged right before.

His antagonistic attitude towards Ayame was upsetting Tohru. He'd always wondered why she was so adamant about trying to coax them together, offering suggestions, or advice to his brother. Asking for him to join her at the shop. At the time, he'd simply thought it was...well, that it was Tohru. She just did things like that.

Hanajima's words echoed in his head. 'To see someone with that gift, that gift that Tohru would give anything to have...to try and help that person, while trying not to remember everything she's lost...'

His brother was high-strung, loud, abrasive...but he cared. For all his wild antics and flamboyant personality, he did try.

From the stories he'd heard, Ayame and Kyoko might have been similar in some respects. Kyoko had been the 'Red Butterfly' after all. From all accounts, she'd had an energetic and bubbly personality. Perhaps a bit more like his brother's shop assistant than Ayame himself, but still…

What was it like for Tohru, watching him turn away when Ayame reached out? Seeing someone who might be like her mother, trying to show affection and getting rebuffed?

Everyone in Shigure's house (and half the Zodiac outside it) had adopted Tohru as family, and there was no question that Hanajima and Arissa considered her a sister in every way but blood. But it wasn't the same. There were things, like New Years at the Main House, that Tohru couldn't be a part of. She couldn't stay with Arissa and Hanajima all the time either.

She did have her grandfather, but he wasn't a constant presence in her life. They exchanged phone calls and meetings, but she didn't live with him. After the one meeting he'd had with the rest of her family, he was extremely glad of that. Everyone in that house with the exception of her grandfather had made him think of his mother. Or Akito.

He never thought of those things, aside from making an effort to ensure that Tohru knew she was loved and welcome, considered family, within Shigure's house. After Tohru had settled in, after the New Years they'd skipped to be with her, he'd gotten so used to considering her family that he'd never thought about the little things that might remind her that she was Tohru Honda, not Tohru Sohma.

And really, she was so happy all the time, so settled in, so much a part of their lives, that it was easy to forget. She knew the secret of the curse. Everyone who visited Shigure regularly thought of her as family. Even Hatori, who had come to treat her the last time she'd been ill and refused payment. Even Hiro, who griped and snapped and snarled, but still came over and took tea and ate the sweets Tohru prepared. And from the way she'd acted, things she said, he didn't think even Tohru thought about it that much.

Until something happened to remind her. Something like a car accident. Something that left one of the Sohmas hurt or sick or…

Or until she watched siblings who couldn't interact without fighting, cousins who wouldn't stop hating each other. Family members who wouldn't speak to each other.

'Forgive me. I was just so happy that you wanted to come here today...'

Ayame's words from their first visit echoed in his mind, taking on new meanings.

All of a sudden, he needed to see his brother. For the first time he could remember he wanted...he wanted to talk to Ayame. To see him, to know he was all right, or at least that he would be all right eventually. To tell him he cared. That he didn't hate him, that he was just normally reserved and had trouble connecting to people, and that his brother's energetic behavior threw him off. He wanted to reveal that he knew, that he knew now how Ayame had tried to help him, and what it had cost. He wanted to say that he wouldn't consider it a debt, because they were brothers, and Tohru had taught him about kindness, and caring, but that it mattered and he understood and he wasn't angry anymore, because he knew that Ayame hadn't left him with Akito, that he'd tried.

The sudden need took him by surprise, filling him with restless energy. Unable to contain it, Yuki broke into a run, school bag tucked tight against his shoulder as he sped down sidewalks and turned up the small lane that led to Shigure's home.

He was going to talk to Ayame. And he was going to listen. And this time, he wasn't going to walk away until they'd mended what was broken between them.

Author's Note: So...Yuki's finally beginning to really get it. Next time: Yuki discovers some more of his brother's secrets, and new information to deal with.