Chapter One: She didn't Let Go
Rose lay on the board, clinging to Jack's hand, void of all hope of survival. The screams that had filled the night were growing silent and she could barely feel her body. She couldn't even remember the last time she had spoken to Jack…he had made her make that stupid promise that she knew that there was no way of keeping. She was pretty much resigned to the fact that they were going to die tonight. It was like this was her fate and not even Jack's love and bravery could help her avoid it. She had been meant to die that evening she stepped over the rail and Jack had pulled her back…and now she and Jack were going to pay the price for cheating death.
"Hello! Is anyone alive out there?! Hello?!"
Rose turned her head at the sound of the voice calling out into the darkness. At first, her mind wasn't processing it. It sounded like something out of a dream. It was the flashlight shining onto the debris/body-filled water that brought her out of the fugue and made her realize that it wasn't a dream. A boat had came back…if she was quick, her and Jack would be saved! She forced herself to turn back onto her stomach and shook the frozen hand that was still clasped around her own.
"Jack," She squeaked, her voice rough and raspy. "Jack, there's a boat. Wake up Jack…there's a boat."
Silence was her only answer. She couldn't help but notice how pale he was and the ice framing his perfect features and caking his usually bright hair. The North Atlantic was trying to claim him for itself…but she wouldn't let it…she couldn't…even if he didn't survive…this ocean was not going to be his resting place…she wouldn't let it be…
She looked up, ready to call the boat over when to her horror, it began to row away, ready to return to the others.
"Come back!," She tried to call to it. "Come back…" Sadly, they couldn't hear her. Her voice was too weak, too damaged from the cold. She looked at Jack and the dead surrounding them. They couldn't stay here…this could not be their resting place. She had made a promise to Jack, and she was going to do her best to keep it.
She frantically looked around at the dead bodies, feeling the spark of hope that had briefly ignited begin to blink out, but it ignited again when she caught sight of the dead officer with a whistle in his mouth. Keeping a tight hold on Jack's hand, she forced herself off the door and pulled him along until they had reached the officer. She snatched the whistle out of the officer's mouth and began to blow on the whistle as hard as she could. This was their last chance and she wasn't going to waste it…not until all hope was lost.
"Come about!" a shout came from the boat and a beam of light landed on her and Jack, who she had pulled onto the dead officer to keep him afloat.
Even then, she kept blowing the whistle until rough hands had grabbed her up and dragged her into the boat, along with Jack, who she still refused to let go of. She could barely hear the officer's talking, saying how she was alive, but there looked to be no hope for the young man. At that, her heart stopped. Jack? No hope for Jack? That was impossible…after all they had gone through together…he had to have survived…there was no way he would leave her…not now…
She tightened her grip on his hand, never letting go. It was a promise that she had made and a promise she meant to keep. Never let go, and she was never going to let go. She didn't care what they had said…no hope for Jack? Impossible…
"Wait…I think there's a pulse…quick, wrap him up in those blankets…get him warm!" Another officer ordered.
That was all Rose heard before the darkness took her.
Rose didn't wake up until that afternoon, swaddled in at least two layers of blankets in a soft bed located in the infirmary of the Carpathia. She looked around to see her fellow patients also laid out beside her with nurses going to and fro with pitchers of steaming hot liquid. Looking around, she tried to spot Jack. He had to have survived. She heard the officer say that there was a pulse…he had been talking about Jack…right? Where was he?
She tried to sit up, wanting to go in search of him, but it was the gentle hand of a nurse that kept her in place.
"No, no Miss. You must stay in bed and rest. You've been in freezing conditions for a rather long time. Would you like some hot soup or tea?" The nurse tsked at her.
"Jack…I have to find Jack. Please…I can't…"
"Tomorrow, Miss. But for now the doctor says that you must stay under the covers and rest and drink warm liquids. Do not worry. I am sure that your Jack is just fine."
How could Jack be just fine when he had been in the freezing water so much longer than her and the officer's had barely found a pulse? For all she knew, he had perished anyway. She had to find him. She couldn't just lay there and do nothing! But of course, she had no choice. Every time she tried to get up and go in search of Jack, a nurse would be there to make sure that she did not leave her bed. The situation was absolutely hopeless. Finally though, later in the day, the nurses must have had to take a break, because there was not one in the infirmary. Of course, most of the patients were asleep, so their help really wasn't needed. It was the perfect time to go in search of Jack.
Being as quiet as she could be, Rose got to her feet. She gasped as her legs nearly gave out from under her, weak from having been in bed for so long, but she maintained her balance and began to walk amongst the beds in search of Jack. He had to be here somewhere…whether he was critical…or…purge the thought…dead.
She searched every bed, every pale, sickly face but so far no Jack. She was nearly about to give up hope when she did find him, at the edge of the room where the near critical patients were. Her heart beat faster in her chest at the sight of him. Gone was the frost that had framed his face and hair, but also gone was his healthy tan, and he was so still. Only the gentle raise and fall of his chest told her that he was still alive.
"Jack…oh Jack," she clamped a hand over her mouth to keep down a raising sob. Weeping was not going to help him get better. It wouldn't help him at all. Gently, she took his hand in hers and clasped it just as tightly as she had those hours ago in the North Atlantic. "It's ok, Jack. It's ok now. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here and I'm going to keep my promise to you. I'm never going to let go. Never…"
"Miss, what are you doing out of bed?" The nurse that had waited on her earlier gasped in horror. "You should be lying down!"
Rose looked at the woman with steely green eyes. The woman was going to have to kill her if she wanted her to leave Jack's side. It just wasn't going to happen. "This is my husband, the one I asked about. I am not leaving his side. So you can just forget about all the fuss that you're wanting to make."
"But Miss…"
"I am not leaving his side. I don't care about doctor's orders."
The nurse stood there and stared at the determined young woman, at a loss at what to do. The doctor hadn't told her what to do in a case like this. Finally she sighed, giving up the fight. Besides, how can she tell the girl that she couldn't sit by the side of her beloved? Especially after the tragedy that had just occurred. "Alright. Fine. As long as you stay seated and drink warm liquids and for goodness sake, stay under a blanket."
The nurse disappeared and returned with the blankets from Rose's bed and draped them over her shoulders.
"Thank you," Rose nodded her agreement. She sighed and looked at Jack, again feeling a sense of helplessness. "Has he woken up at all?"
"Not since they brought him in. There was barely a pulse. The doctor doubts that he'll pull through…I am sorry Miss…"
Rose grimly nodded and didn't look up when the nurse walked away to tend to her other patients. The news didn't surprise Rose. After all, this section was where the critical patients were…but it still scared her. There was still a chance that she could lose Jack. They hadn't won yet.
She sighed and brought his hand up to her lips. "Jack…did you save me just to leave me? Is that it? Well that just won't do. You can't just rescue a girl just to leave her alone in the world. You made me promise to survive…to go on…to never let go and I'm keeping to that promise…and I'm going to hold you to that promise as well. You can't let go Jack. You just can't. I still need someone to teach me the ropes…to teach me how to make each day count…and I'm afraid that that person has to be you. So you can't let go either. You have to come back to me. Please Jack…"
Rose sat by Jack's side for hours, talking to him, telling him about her childhood, her likes and dislikes, and her dreams for the future. She never let go of his hand and she never gave up hope that he would wake up, but there was never a change. He just laid there like a log, his eyes tightly shut. The only sign of life was the rise and fall of his chest. The nurse would give her a pitying look every time she passed by. But Rose didn't care. She'd sit by Jack's side forever…she'd wait for him forever. She was in love and that was what people in love did.
It was the evening before the Carpathia was due to arrive in New York. Rose was exhausted and she was nearly losing hope of Jack ever waking up. There had been no sign of life from him yet. That evening, she sat there on that stool, his hand clasped in hers, pressed against her tear-stained cheek. The nurse would silently offer her some tea, saying it was important to keep up her strength, but Rose refused. She had no taste for tea or anything else. She just wanted to see Jack's blue eyes again. If she couldn't have that…well then she wanted nothing at all.
Now left along with Jack, she closed her eyes and let the tears she had held back all day fall. Tomorrow, they'll be in New York and if Jack was still like this…there was no telling what was to become of them.
"Oh Jack…why won't you wake up? Come back to me. I need you…," Rose sobbed. "How can I keep my promise when my whole reason for living is gone? Huh?"
She closed her eyes and let the tears fall, her grief overcoming her. She didn't feel the hand in hers squeeze hers in return…she didn't see the closed eyes open and look at his surroundings in confusion. She almost didn't hear the hoarse "Rose" thinking it was her imagination. She opened her eyes, prepared to see the same image she had always seen since finding him in the infirmary. Instead, she found confused blue eyes staring up at her. She gasped and nearly dropped his hand. Her voice was full of tears. "Jack…?"
"Where…are…we?" His voice was hoarse and his grip on her hand was weak, but he was awake! He had finally woken up!
"Oh my god, Jack! You really are awake!" Rose sobbed, kissing his pale hand that she gripped in hers. "Oh my god…"
"Yeah. I am…but…where am I…?"
"The Carpathia. A boat came back and rescued us and the Carpathia showed up and took us aboard and we're heading to New York now…you're in the infirmary…you've been out for days now…I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever wake up…," Rose sobbed.
"I'm cold…"
"I'll call the nurse…she'll bring you something hot to drink..," Rose got to her feet, keeping Jack's hand in hers, afraid to let him go…afraid he'll slip back into his deep slumber once again. "Nurse! Nurse!"
The nurse rushed over and gasped when she saw that Jack was awake. "I see the young man has awoken?"
"Yes he has and he's cold…can you bring him something hot to drink? Some soup or tea?" Rose took the blankets off of herself and draped them over Jack.
"Yes Miss," The nurse nodded, going to fetch some soup from the kitchen.
"It's not the best soup ever made, but it's warm…," Rose sat back down, wiping the tears from her eyes. "Oh Jack, I was so afraid that I had lost you…you took so long to wake up…"
"I'm…sorry…kind of surprised that I did…."
"We'll be in New York tomorrow night…I don't know what to do then…"
The nurse returned with a cup of soup. She looked at Rose. "Miss, do you want to help him drink it or shall I?"
"I will…," She took the cup, letting go of Jack's hand to do so. She watched as the nurse helped Jack into a sitting position. "Thank you."
The nurse just nodded and then left Rose alone with Jack. She blew on the soup a little to keep it from being too hot and then she bent down and held it to Jack's lips. He placed cool hand against her warm ones and took a deep drink of the soup.
They didn't talk while Jack ate, which was fine. It was a comfortable silence and the sense of despair had left Rose completely. Jack was awake, so in her world, all was fine. Finally he was finished. Rose set the empty cup on the nearby table and took Jack's hand into hers again
"Has Fabrizio and Tommy survived? Are they here?" Jack asked, his mind immediately going to his friends.
Rose shook her head and sighed, feeling guilty. She had been so focused on Jack, she hadn't thought about going to look for anyone else. "I haven't seen the survivor's list yet…"
"So…what's going to happen now?"
"Tomorrow the Carpathia docks in New York…and I plan to get off the ship with you, just like we had planned before…that is if you'll still have me…"
Jack smiled his first smile since he woke up. "Of course I'll still have you…this is crazy…"
"But I trust it," Rose smiled, remembering her words before the iceberg collision. "I…I know we haven't known each other for long Jack…but…I love you. I love you more than anything."
Jack placed a gentle hand against her cheek. "I love you too, Rose."
She couldn't help herself just then. She had to kiss him…she needed to feel his soft lips against hers once again. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his in a chaste kiss and giggled when his lips returned the pressure.
He pulled away a little, his blue eyes searching her own for any signs of doubt. "And you're certain that this is what you want? To leave the high class life behind and live down here with us mice?"
"I've never been surer of anything else in my life. You and this life you talk about…it's what I want."
Happy to hear Rose's reconfirm her feelings and intentions, Jack pulled her into a hug. Aware of how cold he was, she crawled into bed with him and wrapped her arms around him as well, keeping him close. Hopefully the body heat will help him recover faster. When the nurse came in, she found Jack and Rose, side by side, their heads pressed together, gazing into each others eyes lovingly. It was an adorable picture that she would never forget. Well at least something beautiful came out of the tragedy that was Titanic. Young Love…