Hanging By A Moment, Chapter 1, Couldn't Make You See It

I don't anything except the plot. Neither Twilight nor Vampire Diaries belong to me... they'd be pretty different if they did!

Still not abandoning any of my other stories, but I just couldn't resist writing more of the cuteness that is Jeremy.

~*~I~*~

I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as he turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried

Seventeen year old Bella excitedly sat on her bed in her room in Phoenix, her legs crossed, envelope clutched tightly in her hand. She knew exactly who the letter was from; her best friend Jeremy. Though best friend perhaps didn't accurately describe what he was to her.

They had met when they were children, in a town called Mystic Falls. A place where Bella had spent many summers and school holidays. An old friend of Renee and Charlie's, Liz Forbes, lived there and it also happened to be where Jeremy and his family lived.

Liz had a daughter, Caroline, who Bella got on well enough with despite her being older, but they weren't really into the same things and Caroline had her own friends already so Bella had usually been left to herself.

Then one day a another kid had spotted her at the park, and seeing her by herself had approached and asked if she wanted to play. It was a boy, just a month younger than her, but that hadn't mattered as they had formed an instant friendship.

That boy was Jeremy Gilbert and from then on, every time Bella was in town, they were inseparable the entire time. They had begun exchanging letters constantly, and though they had access to emails and instant messages as they got older, they both preferred to send letters through the post more often than not.

It had been more than ten years now since they'd met and Jeremy was still the best friend Bella had ever had, though things had changed a little for her in the last few years.

Bella had been teased many times as she grew up for never really showing an interest in boys, but what she had never told anyone was that she was interested, but only in a particular one. Through the years her feelings for Jeremy had changed and ever since she had been old enough to realise it, she knew that she had been in love with him.

It had killed her through summer last year, she had spent the entire month at his side, feeling like she was dying inside with the knowledge that the person she loved didn't love her back. Yet she never said anything to him, there was no way he felt the same about her, and she wouldn't ruin their friendship for anything.

Then on her last morning in Mystic Falls, Jeremy had come and found her. This was something he had always done, knowing she didn't like goodbyes. This time was different, though. He'd hugged her tightly like usual but then pulled back to look at her, his eyes sad. Before she could even think to question it he had dipped his head and kissed her.

It hadn't been anything dramatic, just a quick press of his lips on hers, but it had been sweet and perfect because it was him. Then she had found herself standing there still blushing as Jeremy took one last look at her and then bolted, his own cheeks pink.

A faint blush crossed Bella's cheeks at the memory.

That had been her first kiss, Jeremy's too for that matter. Neither of them had mentioned it afterwards though. Bella had followed Jeremy's lead on that one. She was too embarrassed to be the first to bring it up, and thought it was perhaps best if they waited until they were face to face to talk about it anyway, though the thought of talking about it made her squirm uncomfortably. Especially as she wasn't sure why he had kissed her, anyway. Surely, he didn't feel that way about her, he was always calling her his best friend after all…

Her mother Renee, and Liz had decided against a Christmas time visit last year, and then Renee had met Phil. In typical Renee fashion, she became so caught up in her new love life she didn't make time to visit Mystic Falls, and before Bella knew it, it had been more than nine months since she'd seen Jeremy.

Then the phone call came that had all but broken her heart. She had known instantly that something was wrong, as they rarely called each other given their preference to writing, but to have him sobbing down the phone as he told her both his parents had been killed in a car crash, well that was worse than anything she could have imagined.

She had stayed on the phone with him for hours that night, crying with him as he broke down completely. She hadn't been able to be there for him at the funeral, though Renee had at least come out of her 'new love' haze long enough to help make sure there were flowers sent from them both.

As the summer holidays rolled around Renee had yet again decided not to visit Mystic Falls, so Bella was forced to stand by, unable to do anything as the letters and messages from Jeremy had slowed to nothing, and for the first time since Renee had met him, Bella found herself resenting Phil for his part in it.

It had felt like she was losing a piece of herself.

That was why she was so excited about this letter, it was the first she had received in weeks. Taking a sip of the drink she had brought with her before putting it on her nightstand, she settled back into her pillows to read.

Izzy B,

Missing you so much right now, really need my best friend. Still can't believe everything that's happened.

So, I'm sorry you never heard from me through the summer. Things have been kind of rough. Don't judge me as you're the only one I can talk to about all this… but I've been smoking… yeah I can imagine you rolling your eyes at me now, but it helps me.

I started kind of seeing Vicki Donovan, you know, Matt's sister. Spent tons of time with her over the summer, I even told her I was falling for her but she told me that's not what she wanted and now she's decided she wants to get back with Tyler, which blows because he's a dick.

I really like her, Izzy…

Bella finished reading the letter and carefully folded it up, tears running down her cheeks as she did so.

Hearing about Jeremy with another girl felt like her heart was being ripped out. Especially someone like Vicki. She couldn't blame him for telling her about it though, no matter how much it hurt hearing it. She had no claim on him, and had never told him how she felt.

Swiping her sleeve across her face, Bella popped the letter neatly back into its envelope, with its little sketch of a swan right over where the flap was sealed down; something only Jeremy had ever done.

Getting up and crossing the room to retrieve a wooden box, she opened it up and tucked the letter inside with the others. No matter how much this letter had stung, she would keep it there, along with every letter he had ever sent her.

As she turned around her eyes landed on a picture he drew for her as a birthday gift for her last year.

They had been lying on the grass laughing while they cloud watched when someone had snapped a photo of it. Bella hadn't thought anything of it, until he had mailed his own faithfully drawn version of it to her just in time for her birthday. Though he had focused more on her, Bella loved the expression on his face in the picture, and it had been up in a frame on her wall ever since.

Scrubbing her face of any remaining tears, she sighed. Yes, it hurt a lot knowing that the way he saw her was so different to the way she saw him, but she couldn't imagine her life without him in it at all. No matter how painful it could be, it was Jeremy, and having him as her friend was worth it.

~*~II~*~

After all this time
I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

"Hey Jenna," Jeremy greeted as he got home from school, coming through the door and swiping the envelope she was holding out to him, "Thanks."

Jenna Sommers shook her head fondly as Jeremy stopped in the kitchen for a drink and stuffed an apple into his mouth before disappearing up the stairs, letter in hand. He had to be the only teenage boy she'd ever heard of that actually liked writing letters, but then she knew he had been exchanging them with Bella ever since they were both old enough to write.

Tossing his school bag to one side as he finished the apple and threw the core into his waste paper basket, Jeremy popped the top on his soda. He took a swig and put it on his bedside table before he threw himself onto his bed, getting comfortable and eagerly ripping open the envelope.

He always looked forward to letters from Bella. Though emails and instant messages were obviously faster, and they did use both of them, they had both agreed that there was something nice about getting a letter in the post the same way they always had as kids.

Leaning against his pillows with his legs stretched out, he reached for his soda and swallowed another gulp, then settled in to read. Equal amounts of amusement and irritation washed over him as his eyes read over the name she always called him in her letters.

Jerry G-

Missing you like always. It feels like forever since I've seen you.

So Forks is as wet and boring as expected. The school is tiny and everyone knows everyone. I did meet someone kind of interesting, he's kind of weird though, one minute he wants to be my friend the next he doesn't. I don't really know what to make of him. He's sort of beautiful, all of his family are. He has adopted brothers and sisters, but it's weird because they are all pale and have the same unusual golden eyes. There's definitely something odd about them. I was nearly hit by a truck the other day. No panicking, I'm okay, Edward saved me…

Jeremy sighed as he finished the letter. He knew Bella well enough to know that she likedthis guy she was talking about, and the fact that she hadn't told him sooner that she was in an accident…

It felt to him like he was losing her. Though the truth was he never really had her, not in the way he wanted. It was an impossible situation that he had probably made a lot worse when he had kissed her and then never brought it up again.

It had been a dick move on his part, really. He never brought it up because he really wanted to talk to her about it face to face. That didn't matter though, because things had then gone from bad to worse in his messed up relationship with Vicki Donovan.

He rubbed a hand down over his face and sighed again. Vicki and Bella had never been friends, and in effect he had all but abandoned his friendship with Bella last summer in favour of someone who had never been anything better than unpleasant to her. When he thought about it in those terms he was surprised Bella would actually still talk to him.

Instead as soon as he'd gotten back in touch with her they had carried on writing just the same as ever and he had even told her about Anna, though he had avoided some of the finer details. He snorted to himself at that thought, only in this town could something like vampirism be considered a 'finer detail'.

Though the more he thought about it, the more Bella's description of this guy set his teeth on edge, something just seemed off about it, and after everything that had happened lately, he was inclined to go with his instincts.

Who could he talk to though? As much as they were somewhat friends these days, he couldn't imagine talking to Tyler about it, and he wasn't really close to anyone in the know about the supernatural things in town.

Maybe he would go to Damon, even though he could be a total dick at times. He hadn't gotten on well with the vampire previously, but they had been getting on better recently, and he would certainly offer a blunt, honest opinion if nothing else.

Coming to a decision, he got up and moved to his desk to write back to her. It was rarely more than a few days between letters recently, so he would wait and see what she said in her next letter before doing anything.

What he didn't know at the time was that there would be no more than a few days before his choices started to be taken away from him…

As he'd predicted, another letter arrived fairly quickly, only this time Jenna wasn't there handing it to him as he arrived home from school. Instead Jenna was in the hospital, recovering from a stab would that she'd been compelled to inflict on herself, though Elena had unsuccessfully tried to hide that little detail from him.

Now he was at the Boarding House, letter in hand as Damon finished cleaning up afterinterrogating Mason Lockwood.

"Okay," Damon's voice rang out as he walked into the room, "Why do you look like someone pissed in your Wheaties this morning?"

Jeremy raised his head and glared at the vampire who held up his hands, palms out, in response.

"Alright, I admit that was a ridiculous question, with recent events. Maybe I should have asked why you look even more like someone pissed in your Wheaties than you did earlier… and I bet it's got something to do with that bit of paper you've got there."

Before Jeremy could react, Damon blurred over and snatched the letter from him, quickly skimming through it. He looked back at the teenager in front of him with a confused frown.

Jeremy looked at him for a long moment before he sighed heavily and reached into his bag, pulling out the previous letter he'd received from her and handing that to Damon to read too.

"This might help explain more, it's just… well, there's something off about this guy she's talking about."

"Mm hmm," Damon agreed as he read through both letters, "Something stinks, and I have my suspicions… but I don't understand what this is to you, who is this girl? Is she hot?"

Jeremy took a deep breath and looked up to meet Damon's gaze.

"I've known Bella since I was six," He swallowed and looked away, "And I've loved her for a long as I can remember."

Jeremy carried on speaking and Damon, instead of being his usual obnoxious self, bit back his usual sarcastic comments. Feeling unusually sympathetic, he just listened to the teenager talk about years of letter writing and summers spent with the girl. Only commenting dryly once he'd finished.

"So you've loved this hot chick for years, but you only kissed her the one time and never mentioned it again? You do realise you're an idiot, right?"

Damon smirked as Jeremy shrugged awkwardly.

"Yeah, I know I blew it," He answered quietly before looking up to meet Damon's amused eyes, "But that doesn't mean I don't still care, and there's something very wrong. I know it!"

Damon blew out a sigh and nodded. "Okay little Gilbert, I get it. She used to come in the summers right? Well there's nothing you can do right now unless something happens, so write to the girl and see if she's coming this summer. If she does I'll even help you talk to her, find out what's going on."

Damon's expression turned smug as Jeremy nodded in agreement. True it wasn't a perfect solution, Jeremy thought, but it was better than nothing.

~*~III~*~

I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor

Ever since their discussion Damon had felt an odd kinship with Jeremy. Neither Stefan nor Elena were particularly enthused by it, but they had too much of their own drama to deal with. Especially as their ruse of pretending to have broken up had failed.

Katherine was still lurking around somewhere, but Damon honestly wanted as little involvement in that shit storm as possible. Katherine had made her feelings towards him perfectly clear, so had Elena for that matter, and he had no desire to be anyone's second choice.

The only thing he really regretted from that whole situation now was what he'd done to Jeremy. Little Gilbert was turning out to be half decent really, and it would have been a waste if he was no longer around.

The kid was far too forgiving really, Damon thought, though he wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. He was good company, and a whole lot less depressing to be around than dear old Saint Stefan was.

He swallowed the last of the bourbon he'd been nursing, and put the glass on the table beside him with an irritated frown. All this thinking was getting boring, he needed something to do. He didn't have to wait long.

As if it had read his mind, his phone started buzzing in his pocket. Damon pulled it out and answered, not surprised to see Jeremy's name flash up on the screen.

"What can I do you for, Little Gilbert? It had better be good, you're interrupting some good Stefan-like brooding time…"

He trailed off as he didn't get the laugh he would have expected; Jeremy wasn't a huge fan of Stefan, sister's boyfriend or not.

"Okay Gilbert, what's wrong?" Damon asked realising something was wrong, he could tell the teenager was panicked now just from hearing his breathing.

"It's Bella, there's been an accident. She's in hospital."

"Where?" Damon jumped up from his seat and headed up to his room, pulling a travel bag from a cupboard.

"Phoenix."

"You're at home right?" Damon questioned as he quickly packed some clothes, "Pack a bag. I'll be on my way over in a minute and we'll go get your girl."

He hung up abruptly and finished packing, making sure he had enough for a couple of days as well as his keys and phone charger.

He couldn't really explain why he felt almost compelled to help Jeremy, but if nothing else it would break up the monotony of the last few days, and Gilbert was a good kid. Swinging his bag onto his shoulder and taking one last look around, Damon headed to his car.

If nothing else, it was something different to do, and if his suspicions about the girl's 'boyfriend' were correct there could be plenty of entertainment value ahead.

Beep… beep… beep…

Bella groaned softly, the familiar noise and the uncomfortable oxygen tube telling her exactly where she was. She wasn't certain if there was anywhere on her body that wasn't aching dully underneath the slight haze of painkillers in her system. Even drawing a breath sent pain shooting across her side.

Becoming aware of movement nearby, she forced her eyes open to see Edward slowly approaching her bedside. Though she kept her face neutral, inside she cringed at the harsh truth… that he wasn't the person she wanted to see.

She cared for Edward, she truly did, but in what she'd thought were her final moments, it hadn't been his face she'd pictured. Even after James had been dealt with and Edward had started drinking from her it still hadn't been his face in her mind as everything had gone black.

She had listened with an odd sense of detachment as Edward listed her injuries; one broken leg, four broken ribs, a fractured skull and countless bruises – definitely her most impressive hospital visit to date. She did feel a little sick though when Edward had complained that she smelt all wrong after the blood transfusion she'd needed.

James had been burned along with the studio, and Alice had apparently had fun staging a scene to back up their story of her going to meet Edward and Alice at the hotel and falling down some stairs and through a window.

A pervading feeling of wrongness was seeping into Bella as she lay there with Edward talking to her, and she had to remind herself to stay still and not flinch away as he leaned over and kissed her forehead. Fortunately Edward had taken the jump in her heart rate when his icy lips touched her as a good thing, and just smirked indulgently as he pulled away.

There was a slightly uncomfortable silence for a few moments and then Edward cocked his head and hurried back to sit in a chair in the corner of the room, slumping down and pretending to be asleep just as Renee entered.

Bella was acutely aware of him being there as she'd spoken to her mother, and it grated on her nerves, especially when Renee started asking questions about him thinking that he wouldn't hear. She hedged her answers as much as possible and then politely brushed off Renee's offer to come live in Florida without a second thought.

No matter what happened with Edward, she didn't want to go back to being her mother's caretaker again. She was painfully aware that Edward would assume she did it for him, but that couldn't be helped right now. Her relationship with Edward was something she'd have to consider seriously and soon, but now while she was lying in a hospital bed wasn't the time for it.

When Renee left, Bella had hoped Edward would just let her be for a while. Her brain was still fuzzy and she had a lot to try and think over. Instead, just as she thought, he picked up on the fact she had refused the offer to move, telling her that maybe she should have gone.

Irritated as he tried to force the decision on her, Bella finally snapped and looked him in the eyes asking, "If you're that tired of saving my life, why didn't you just leave the venom where it was and let me turn?"

Edward hissed furiously, making Bella flinch back against the pillows. She winced as the movement jarred her broken ribs and Edward backed away a step looking apologetic even as he told her Alice had no right to reveal information like that.

Bella bit her lip to stop herself from calling him a condescending dick, then grinned internally at the thought that Jeremy probably would have called him the same thing.

A low buzzing interrupted her thoughts and she looked up at Edward to see him pulling his phone from his pocket. He looked at the screen and shrugged, putting it back away without answering.

"Alice." He offered as a brief explanation, stepping forward and taking her hand. Bella nodded, wondering what had him looking so serious while he gazed down at her.

"You should have said yes to going to Florida," Edward told her suddenly, "It would be safer for you to be away from me."

"What exactly are you saying Edward?" Bella asked lowly, though she had a feeling she already knew where he was going with this.

"I'm dangerous for you to be around love, it would be safer for you if I left."

Bella sighed in irritation and eased her hand out of his grip. "So it's just your decision then?"

"Well yes." He looked at her almost confused, and Bella wondered just how much of a pushover she had been throughout their relationship for him to be this surprised at her reaction.

"My family and I would all stay away from you of course." He continued and a stab of pain went through Bella. Though she wasn't really in love with Edward, no matter how hard she'd tried to convince herself that she was, it hurt that he and his family would dismiss her so easily.

She looked at him, lost for words as he continued deciding her future, talking himself out of her life and prattling on about how it would be as if he'd never existed. She wondered for a moment whether he expected her to beg and plead for him to stay. She certainly wasn't going to give him the satisfaction if that were the case, no matter how much it was hurting.

The sound of the door swinging open caught her attention and she stared at the two faces there, absolute joy rushing through her as she recognised one of them.

"Jeremy?"

He grinned and winked at her, before looking at Edward, a furious expression on his face. "So, I've got to ask… what kind of dick breaks up with a girl while she's in hospital?"

The dark haired man next to him studied her appraisingly for a moment before also glaring at Edward as he spoke. "A Cold One. That's what kind of dick."

After all this why
Would you ever wanna leave it
Maybe you could not believe it
That my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you will ever know
A part of me died when I let you go
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go

Chapter title and song lyrics are from Blind ~ Lifehouse

Thanks as ever to Mommy4Thomas for being sounding board and beta, we got there in the end lovey! *Hands over requisite blue popsicle*

So, a new pairing for me, quite different from my usual so I hope you enjoy it.