Summary: "I really do regret not training or sparring with Riku and his friends. If I was stronger, maybe I could have saved him." Kairi can't stop worrying about her best friend who has disappeared.

Thinking of you, Wherever you Are

It's funny, being able to walk home from school so leisurely on the Destiny Islands once again. Everything's the same, and yet…everything's changed.

It feels almost like it was a dream…or maybe it was a nightmare, that all depends on how you look at it.

A little while ago, my best friend Riku and I wanted to get off of this island, and go searching for other worlds. He always complained about feeling like he was trapped here. My arrival on the island when we were little gave him hope; although I couldn't remember anything about the world I came from, I was enough proof that there was life outside this place. As time went on, he gradually became even more and more obsessed with the idea of leaving. Eventually, we decided to come up with a plan to build a raft and sail away to find some sort of door to other worlds. I can't say I wasn't skeptical that it would work, but, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about the subject…there was no way I could be openly pessimistic to his plans. Besides, I was pretty curious about what was out there, too.

The night before the day we were supposed to leave, though, something awful happened.

There was a terrible storm brewing, and I was scared that all the hard work we put into our raft would have gone to naught. I rowed out to our play island, where we kept it hidden. Riku was already there—his rowboat was already tied to the dock by the time I had arrived. I wasn't surprised. I can't think of anyone else with a stronger resolve than Riku; there was no way he was going to let some storm ruin his ultimate dream of leaving. I decided to dock my own boat and go join him to help take care of things. After all, it was going to be my journey, too.

It didn't take long for me to realize that it wasn't any ordinary storm.

There was a huge, ominous void in the sky, threatening to destroy everything around it. Before I could process the severity of the situation, these monsters began to pop up around me. All black with glowing yellow eyes, they loomed and threatened to attack. I knew I wasn't safe. I don't know what it was, but my instincts told me to run to the Secret Place that I was introduced to when I was younger. Something about that place made me feel safe. After all, it's not like I could fend off the monsters. In hindsight, I really do regret not training or sparring with Riku and his friends.

If I was stronger, maybe I could have saved him.

It gets hazy from there on out. All I know is that, after that night, nothing would be the same ever again.

From what I can recollect, that void swallowed our world, and it vanished. Somehow, I didn't; instead, I was transported to another world. The joy from knowing that our dream of escaping had become realized was quickly quashed, however. Riku was nowhere to be found.

Like I said, I can't really remember much. There was something about journeying between a plethora of worlds, trying to look for him. He was found, more than once. And each time, he seemed to be faring worse than the last.

You see, with his intense longing for leaving the island finally fulfilled, his focus shifted. His new obsession was power. As long as I'd known Riku, he was always looking to make himself stronger. When he wasn't spending time with me, or doing schoolwork, he'd be exercising or sparring with the other kids. He was always ready to compete with anyone who challenged him, and no one was surprised when he always came out on top. But, for some reason, that was never enough for him. He never said it out loud—he was always so cool, calm and collected, and even teetered on the edge of cockiness, but…sometimes, I got the feeling that all that was a ruse—that, maybe, he might have felt that he was never good enough. I feel like I know why he felt that way, but (just like my recollection of all the other events that transpired) my memory's pretty foggy.

Regardless of how he felt, it was easy to see that he was the best at almost anything he put his mind to. I can't really say what or where that possible lack of confidence came from, but whatever it was, it drove him to the dark. Every time I was in his presence, I could sense that dark power growing stronger and stronger within him. He learned how to control the monsters, and at one point…I mean, I might be wrong…I hope I'm wrong…but, I think he tried to set them on me.

That's not even the worst of it, though. I have this terrible…memory? I want to say it was a nightmare, but, he attacked me himself! Maybe I'm being naïve, and maybe I'm just trying to repress the facts of what actually happened, but, see, there's one thing about all of this that confuses me. He supposedly set monsters on me, he supposedly fought me, and yet…

For some reason, I feel like he said something about doing it to protect me.

It just doesn't add up.

There's really only one moment on this journey that I can clearly remember about my best friend.

Somehow, somewhere, I found myself in an unfamiliar world (only later did I find out that it was, in fact, the world I originally come from) surrounded by those monsters—the Heartless. I knew I was in danger, but for some reason I couldn't run away. I was determined to try and fight, to reclaim something I had lost. Was it him? The darkness seemed to have consumed him at that point; he was nowhere to be found. There was this ominous man who seemed to have taken control over the Heartless, and he was after me.

Before he could do anything, Riku appeared. Something about that arrogant, power-hungry demeanor had changed. Instead of attacking me, like he may have previously tried to do, he swallowed his pride and defended me. He told me to run, that he would take care of things. It's not like I had much say in the situation; I did as I was told.

I haven't seen him since.

My memory gets fuzzy again after that. Somehow, I found refuge in another world—Traverse Town. How I got there, I don't know, but I stayed with some very kind people. They gave me a place to stay and food to eat, while they worked to defend the world. Truthfully, I wish I could have joined them. If anything, it would be much more productive than my mundane life back here, on the islands.

Yes, I'm back on the islands I grew up on. How I ended up back here, again, I really can't exactly say. One moment, I was sitting in the small house on Traverse Town, waiting to find out what had become of my best friend, and the next, I found myself back on the shore of the play island. Somehow, my world had been restored, like nothing ever happened. No one even realized I was gone—it was like time stood still here, even though I was gone for what seemed like months. I want to say Riku had something to do with it, but his current absence shakes my confidence with that theory.

It's been a couple of months, and still no sign of him. It's gotten easier over time, but, I'm still so worried about him.

…Is he even alive?

No, of course he's alive. Riku always comes out on top, no matter how hard the circumstances.

"Right?"

"Did you say something?" Amaya, my upperclassman and good friend walking alongside me inquires.

"Huh?"

"Oh, guess it might have been my imagination," she replies, seeing my confusion. Did I say something out loud?

"You've certainly been really quiet lately, Kairi," she observes. "Everything okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah…sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind," I respond, glancing up at her.

"I'm here for you, if you need to talk to anyone about it," she reassures, flashing me a warm smile.

"Oh, it's nothing like that. I guess…I just don't really have much to say." It's true. Since I've been back, I guess you could say I've been a little more introverted. I haven't always been this way; my constant worrying and doting over the past few months, however, have altered my demeanor.

"Are you thinking about him again?" she asks, genuinely concerned. Everyone on the island knows how close I was to Riku. They're also all aware of his disappearance. It's part of why I've been so quiet lately—I'd really rather not talk about it. No one would understand.

"Wherever he is, I'm sure he's okay," she assures, as she gives me a comforting pat on the shoulder.

"Yeah," I agree, nodding my head. But, as many times as I tell myself that he's out there, safe and sound, I still can't help but worry.

"Alright, I'm gonna turn to my house around here," Amaya says. "Remember, don't hesitate if you need anything. I'll see you tomorrow!"

"Yeah, bye!" I wave.

I'm honestly a little relieved. It's just been easier to be by myself.

The only person who I probably would go to if I did need anything like that is gone, anyway.

I continue down the path to get to my home; it's not much further ahead. I can't help but once again be consumed by thoughts about him. It's the same dangerous cycle, over and over again. Where is he? Is he safe? Is there anything I can do…or possibly could have done, to help him? Did he defeat his darkness?

"Sure, Riku might be the strongest person I know, but this anxiety won't go away until I'm sure he's okay."

Wait a sec.

There's this strange…tingling sensation, going up my spine. Like someone's watching me.

Is someone…following me?

I stop in my tracks suddenly and turn around.

Huh, there's no one there. Weird.

I guess I'll be on my way, then.

It's just another mundane weekend morning. I slept in a little longer than I probably should have, but it's not like it really matters. I don't really go out to fool around as much as I used to. Amaya invited me to hang out on the play island later today, though I haven't confirmed whether or not I'll be joining her. Maybe I should go. After all, I really do need something to distract me from that same swirl of thoughts that has been consuming my mind as of late.

There's a knock on my door.

"Come in!" I call out, to whoever my visitor is. A maid walks in to find me sitting on the ground in front of my mirror, as I brush my hair.

"There's a letter addressed to you, here, Miss Kairi," she announces. "Also, some brunch is ready and waiting for you downstairs."

"If you could leave the letter on my dresser, that would be great," I reply. She complies with my request. "Thank you! I'll be down shortly."

"I'll see you soon," she nods at me, as she lets herself out of the room. She closes the door gently behind her.

I get up to go over and examine the paper on my dresser. I don't really get letters too often. Since the island's so small, there usually isn't a need to send mail; you're more likely to actually go and see the person before the letter you send gets to them. Usually, mail here is used for official business.

This doesn't look like some sort of business letter, though.

It's a plain, white envelope, with a simple 'Kairi' scrawled in the center.

Wait…that handwriting.

…Could it be…?

I flip the envelope around and instantly tear it open. I have to know! Is it from…Riku?!

I hastily unfold the piece of paper inside and begin to read:

'Kairi,

Don't worry about me. I'm okay. There's a lot I have to take care of right now. I'm sorry, I can't really explain any of it at the moment. And I'm sorry about everything else that happened, too. But, I'm fighting for us. I've got everything under control. Here's to hoping that it might make up for all the mistakes I've made.

Like I said, don't worry about me. The worlds are safe, I'm totally fine, and so are you. Nothing else matters.

Maybe one day soon, the three of us will be together again.

-Riku'

Before I can stop myself, the hot tears begin to spill from my eyes and run down my cheeks. It really was him! It's his handwriting! He wrote this!

He's okay!

Sure, I might still not know where he is, but…he's okay. He's okay, he's okay, he's okay!

I don't think I've been this happy, or used this much of my energy in a long time. I'm laying on my bed, thinking about everything that happened today. I ended up going to the play island after all. Just knowing that my best friend's out there, well and alive, elated me. A lot of people noticed how cheerful and peppy I was today. It was nice. I really felt like myself out there again. I don't have to worry; as long as he's okay, I know he can take on any challenge. Whatever he's fighting against, he's going to win. He always does.

I take the letter from my nightstand and read over it again. I have a feeling I'll do this often; after all, it's the only evidence I have to assure me that he's out there, somewhere. And I want to say he sounds hopeful of our reunion; he said it at the end, right?

I unfold the letter and look over that last line again.

'Maybe one day soon, the three of us will be together again.'

"Yeah," I reply, softly. "One day soon."

…Wait.

The three of us?

A/N: Whoohoo another one-shot! Took a break from my main story 'cause inspiration just hit. I had a few conversations with a few people on here, where we discussed the almost non-existent relationship between Kairi and Riku. I mean, they're supposed to be best friends, too, right?

I like to think of this as sort of a prequel to "Far-Off Memory"; by that time, Kairi knows Riku's safe; it's Sora she has to worry about.

Oh, right, if you're confused about the ending or about the memories she has, just think about Sora. That'll help.

Also, totally inserted my OC Amaya in there haha. I mean, come on, Selphie's not the only girl on the Islands, had to spice it up a bit!

I was debating which POV I wanted to use; first-person made more sense 'cause I thought it would be easier to portray her emotions and thoughts that way. Let me know what you think in a review! Thanks for reading and all your support!