Donatello bit his tongue in concentration as he carefully lined the inner cogs of the can-opener to the lip of the can. With a hard clench of his fist, he felt the rewarding pop of the metal give beneath the pressure and Donnie smiled widely, moving eye level to watch the can opener's mastery at work. "These are just so awesome!" he exclaimed. He had to applaud humans. Whoever thought up the idea to use small aluminum canisters for food preservation was simply a genius. And the fact that it came with its own tool just made it that much cooler. It was just so clever, not to mention resourceful. Ever since April had introduced him to the concept a few nights ago, Donnie had been trying to opt out their regular pizza diet with whatever random miracle lied behind the wonder of the can.
Today, it was mushrooms.
Leonardo glanced back from his spot on the couch to see what had Donnie so worked up about. "Mushrooms?" He quirked a non-existent brow. "How are those awesome?"
"Because," Donnie explained, "they are being opened from a can with a can opener!"
"…Right." Of course. What had he been thinking? The blue-clad brother glanced back, wondering what it must be like to be able to get excited over something like that. His thoughts were interrupted by the horrible squeaking sound of wheels, coming from across the lair.
"A little help here?!" Mikey's voice called above the noise, pulling behind him a red wagon piled high with boxes upon boxes of aluminum cans.
"What? Mikey…" Leo groaned as he got up. "What are these?"
"Three words, dude: canned ham." Donatello couldn't help correcting him.
"Those are two words… and where did you get all of these?"
"Dude, you wouldn't believe it! Someone was just throwing them out at the store down the street for no reason! I believe he called it spur-puss or somethin'…"
"Surplus…"
"Heh, yeah… that word," Michelangelo admitted sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. Fancy words were never his strong point.
"Huh. Cool," Donnie nodded in approval.
"Pshh, yeah! We'll never have ham-less pizza again! We'll never have ham-less anything again… because WE won't be ham-less," he announced, feeling quite proud of his findings.
"Why won't we be ham-less?" Raphael staggered out into the main room, scrubbing his face with a towel, clearly just getting out of the shower. His mask wasn't even on yet, scrunched and dangling in his left hand. He stopped short, nearly walking head on into the giant wagon tower of ham in the center of the living room. "The heck's all this?" he demanded, "pork n' beans?"
Michelangelo rolled his eyes at his brother's foolishness. "Uhh no. Ham!"
Raphael brought the red fabric to his eyes and tied it off, squinting at the label in scrutiny. "They can ham?" he asked in disbelief.
"I guess so," Leo shrugged.
Donnie grinned, cheerily displaying his gap-toothed smile. "Well I think it's perfect!"
"Of course you would," Raph retorted. Michelangelo looked between all three of his older brothers, ready with the million dollar question:
"Soooo… WHO WANTS SOME HAM?!" He asked it as though he were hyping up a crowd. He secretly loved to cook. He was proud that he could best all of his brothers in this particular skill, simple as it was.
"Yeah, sure… I guess…" The eldest brother shrugged unenthusiastically, Donatello having already dashed to the kitchen.
"I'll open up a few cans!"
"Yeah, you do that." Raph rolled his eyes. Leonardo stretched his arms over the table with a sigh.
"I don't know guys, I could really go for some pizza though…"
"Nonsense," Donnie criticized, "we should all be exploring all the different food groups that topside has to offer and start improving our diets." Raphael looked at him quizzically.
"…With ham?"
"Yes," he answered, pulling out the can opener again with a smile. "Just a moment and I'll have them open in a jiffy." Again he reconnected the same parts just the way he had before, broke the seal, and turned his wrist.
Klunk!
"Klunk?!" Donnie stared as the can opener fell apart in several pieces on the counter. "Uh-oh."
"That better be a good uh-oh," Raph threatened.
Mikey shook his head knowingly. "It's never a good uh-oh."
Donnie studied the wrecked can opener, trying to figure out what had gone wrong. "Um…" he started shyly, "I… think I broke it."
"Nice," Raph shot.
"Well!" Leonardo spun in his chair, "I guess we'll just have to order pizza…" he said submissively, as though that hadn't been his first choice of cuisine in the first place. He rose to his feet and went to locate Master Splinter in his room, leaving Donnie to the mess.
Leo stared at the delicate paper door and slid it back, stepping carefully inside. Master Splinter sat meditating breathlessly still beneath his tree, as he always did about this time. Leonardo approached cautiously, both hoping and not hoping that his father would detect him and most of all that he was not of any disturbance. But, step after step there was still no acknowledgement and Leo deduced that he must be in a deep trance, which was even worse to interrupt. He'd have to be careful.
"…Sensei?"
"Let me guess, you want money for pizza," the wise rat turned to him knowingly, "…And Donatello broke the can-opener."
His blue eyes grew wide. "How did you know that?!"
Master Splinter rose to his feet with the assistance of his cane. "How many times do you suppose you've asked me for pizza money this week?" he inquired.
Leonardo thought about it a moment. "Uhh… a few…" he admitted sheepishly.
"Twelve times!" His voice held a certain bite of irritation that made Leo start to regret his intrusion.
"Sensei, you said so yourself, Donnie broke the can-opener, what else are we supposed to do?"
"Try being resourceful," he authoritatively suggested, heading towards the door and Leo scrambled after him.
"But… we were! And then Donnie broke the can opener!"
"There is always more than one way to achieve a goal," he replied sagely and then addressed his other sons.
"NO PIZZA!"
"What?!" A predictable uproar immediately ensued.
"How are we supposed to eat?!" Mikey asked in horror. Master Splinter's eyes panned over to his eldest son, waiting for him to explain.
"…We have to be resourceful," he said reluctantly.
"Ugh…" Mikey and Raph groused. "Not one of those." Master Splinter drove his staff into the ground, snapping them all to attention.
"Observe." The boys watched as their master grabbed one of the cans; his long fingers curled into a menacing curve and swiftly stabbed his claws through the lid of the can. In a single slow rotation, Master Splinter had pulled the top off completely. He flicked it, the centripetal force sending it spinning like a throwing star into the refrigerator, and only narrowly missing Leonardo's head. He delicately reached in and pulled out a small piece of ham, tasting it thoughtfully.
"Hm… not bad." For a moment, the teen turtles stayed quiet in awe at the sheer power of their master. Michelangelo was the first to speak.
"Uh…we don't have super sharp razor claw nails of death!" he reminded him.
"Well then you better get creative." And with that, the wise rat turned to take his leave. Leo paused to think, pulling his katana from their sheaths.
"Everyone duck," he ordered, eyeing the can. His three brothers obediently crouched low. With one quick slash, Leo took the entire top off of the can and helped himself to its contents. Michelangelo studied his own nun-chucks and, taking Leo's lead, pushed the blade out to use it as a primitive can-opener. Raphael scowled at his own can before stabbing his especially violently with his sai.
'What am I supposed to do? Stab holes in it? This is stupid!' He thrust the sharp point into it, piercing it again and again, until it looked less like a can and more like it had gone to war and lost. His short fuse temper burned out and he turned on Donnie.
"This is all your fault! You HAD to break the can opener!"
"I didn't mean to!" he looked sadly at all the components. "O-On the bright side I think I could easily use the kraang tech to make improvements on it so it'll never break again… I could have it done by tonight!"
"You better! Cuz I can't eat like this!" he shouted, pointing his sai-skewered can at him menacingly when a thought crossed his mind. "Hey, since you started this, how 'bout you open it?" He flung the sai, sending the can flying off the end and hurling at Donnie, crashing into the wall above him. It exploded upon impact, raining a huge mess of sharp metal and congealed ham all over Donatello, who crumpled to the floor in a heap.
Leonardo quickly jumped over the counter and rushed to his brother. "Donnie, are you okay?" he turned to Raph. "What is wrong with you?!"
"I…" he started, still trying to connect all that had happened. "Oh come on! You're alright, aren't ya Donnie?"
Leonardo helped him up as Donnie nursed a searing pain in his head. He looked like he was bleeding. Raph took a worried, tentative step closer. Donnie's eyes snapped harshly to Raph's.
"Get away from me," he threatened. His older brother froze, watching as Leo wrapped his arm around his shoulder and led him back to his lab. Raph caught Leo's harsh, disapproving gaze as he walked by. Even Mikey gave him that look… the one he gave him when he really messed up. And then he, too, left to go after the others, leaving Raph alone.
…Why was he such a screw up?
Raph waited a while, hoping Donnie would cool off before entering the lab. Leo had just gone back to the kitchen and cleaned up the mess and brought Donnie all the components to the can opener so he could look it over. Raph knew he had to apologize. He hadn't intended to hurt Donnie…. He didn't know what he had intended when he flung the can but… it sure wasn't this. He rounded the corner to the lab and saw Donnie leaning back against the wall with an ice pack on his head, trying to study all the broken parts of the can opener. Raphael swore he could almost hear the cogs turning in his head.
God, he hoped he was less mad.
"Hey."
Donatello's brown eyes flickered up to Raph, before returning his attention to the different parts. His voice was particularly cold. "Can I help you with something?"
Raph rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "…How's the fixin' going?"
"…Fine."
"…Look, I'm sorry, okay? It's not like I meant to hurt ya…"
"Yeah, you're heedless, indiscriminant violence never tries to hurt anyone," he clipped. Raphael glared, his patience thinning.
"Ya know, when I apologize that's usually the sign to take it and run…"
"You know if you want me to finish this in time for your royal highness to eat, I suggest you go bother someone else." Raph slammed his hands on the table, his blood already boiling and itching for a fight. If he was confident in anything right now, it was his ability to beat Donnie black and blue. Donatello glared right back, daring for Raph to make a move.
Raph tried to keep his temper in check and a few moments did wonders in letting his rage simmer. His eyes hardened and his hands clenched into slow dangerous fists.
"Look, I said I was sorry… whaddaya want from me?"
"I'm tired of you walking all over me!" Donnie yelled exasperated, rising to his feet. "You bully me every single day and I'm sick of it! Why should I fix anything for you in the first place?!"
"Because you broke it!"
"And you nearly split my head open!"
"Yeah well you look just fine to me!" Eyes narrowed to venomous slits.
"Cool off, guys!" Leonardo arrived on the scene, rushing between his two brothers and pushing them back.
"What is wrong with you two?!" Leo led Raph out towards the door. And Raph angrily shrugged out of his touch and stormed out on his own accord, Leo shutting the door behind him.
"I thought you went in there to apologize!" he yelled.
"I did! And then he decided to be an asshole!"
Leonardo scoffed. "Raph..."
Raphael pushed past him and Leonardo knew well enough to leave him alone.
He needed to cool off.
A few hours later, Donatello presented his finished masterpiece to everyone. It was amazing how different it looked. It was so sleek and strange, parts radiating with a bright pink light; now durable and completely automatic by his design.
"I made it stronger, faster, quieter and easier to use. Even Mikey should be able to navigate it without hurting himself..." he boasted.
Michelangelo wanted to give him a snarky comeback, but it was kind of true.
"Now come on," Donnie encouraged, "let's get creative and make ourselves something to eat."
"That's what I'm talkin' about," Mickey grinned brightly. "Stand aside and watch the pro at work." He cracked his knuckles, his mind already turning with ideas for what he'd make for breakfast. Donatello sat down at the counter and Raph lumbered over and plopped into the chair next to him, avoiding his eyes. A swallowing silence hung over the two of them.
"…How's your head?"
Donnie glanced up. "I'll be okay," he muttered.
"…..I screwed up," Raph admitted gruffly.
Donnie thought that over. "I did too."
"…The can opener looks good," he complimented. Donnie immediately brightened up a little at that, smiling his trademark gap-toothed smile.
"Yeah it was actually quite fun to put together. Kraang tech really is fascinating. You know if they weren't trying to kill us, they'd be really great to study."
"I wouldn't touch one of those nasty gobs of brain with a fifty foot pole," Raph grimaced, "I hate it when they touch me while we're fightin'."
"Agreed, but whatever they use as a power source alone contain such strange and mysterious properties… I don't even fully understand it all! With its molecular structure it's a wonder it's even stable."
"So you gave these powers to our can-opener?"
"And the Shell-Raiser, and a bunch of other stuff of ours…"
"…Sounds promisin'."
"It's fine. I have it all under control," he shrugged, "I have up to this point haven't I?"
Raphael thought about it. He did have a point.
"Ham and vegetable omelet thing with noodles!" Mikey announced. "And I even made it shaped like a pizza." He set it down on the counter, proudly displaying it before his brothers.
"Looks gross," Raph critiqued. Leonardo reached over and smacked him hard in the arm.
"It looks great Mikey," he complimented kindly.
Donatello didn't say anything, but he wasn't about to tell his brother how unappetizing it looked. The noodles made it look like some horrible mess straight out of a sci-fi movie. Nevertheless, they each took a small portion of the strange concoction and began to eat.
"Eh, not bad… definitely not pizza though," Mikey sighed. After a few moments of silent munching, Donnie heard Raph's embarrassed grumble beside him.
"By the way Donnie, if ya want, you get a free shot at me later for… ya know… what I did." Donnie quirked a non-existent brow at that. He may be physically weaker than Raphael, but he wasn't so weak that he needed a free shot at anything… but…
There were other ways to get back at him.
"Fine. I'll take you up on that," his purple masked brother agreed coolly, slurping up some noodles with a smile. Satisfied that everything was finally settled between them, Raph gathered his plate innocently.
"Welp… I say… dibs on the T.V!" he got up and dashed over the couch and leapt into his favorite spot.
"Hey…" Mikey whined, but it was no use. Raph had already made himself comfortable on the couch, remote in hand, soon finding the program he wanted. It was some thriller movie about all the computers of the world becoming sentient and enslaving mankind with lasers… and plenty of violence, just like Raph liked it.
Donatello watched Raph hunched over his food, already completely absorbed into what he was watching and he smiled devilishly, an idea already sparking him. Donnie got up, stalking carefully behind him and pulled his bo staff from the back of his shell. He took careful aim and with a firm push, struck Raph in the back of the head, just hard enough to make him fall face first into his food.
"Now we're even," Donnie grinned cheerfully.
Egg, ham and spaghetti noodles slowly slithered their way down Raphael's shocked face.
Leo and Mikey froze for a long horrified moment and then exploded into hysterical laughter.
"He got you good, son!" Mikey roared.
"Uh Raph, you got a little somethin' right there," Leo snickered, motioning to the entirety of his face.
Raph then shot Donnie the look that was usually reserved for Mikey before he pounded his face into the floor… thinking about doing just that.
"Ah ah ah," Donnie tsked, backing up, "free pass, remember?"
Raphael froze and Donatello spun his staff proudly back onto his shell, smugly strutting his way to his room.
"I dunno man I think egg on your face is a good look for you," Mikey complimented, earning a murderous look from his short tempered brother. Raph stalked over dangerously, hooking Mikey around the neck to give him a well-deserved noogie. And as Mikey screamed, yelped and thrashed for freedom, Raph shot a secret smile in Donnie's direction.
He'd earned that free shot.
(A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed. This is actually Chapter 1 and 90% of Chapter 2 of a different story I'm writing called Out of My Shell which will also be posted up but I wanted to release this as its own cute little entity. If you do want to read Out of My Shell, fair warning it is more of an adult story and turns into a romance between two members of the turtles, hence why I wanted to release this one by itself. It's on deviantart though and I think I'll put it up here as well. seems to be a more appropriate place for... well... fanfiction. :) Anyways thanks for reading I hope you liked it! And good luck to you!