A knock on his open door made Castiel look up from his computer. It was Anna, smiling sweetly at him, "You busy?"

He shook his head and she closed the door behind her, before walking over to his desk and falling into one of the arm chairs. She picked up a paperweight off his desk that looked like it had a small ocean inside it. She turned it over in her hand, "Want to do lunch today?"

Castiel scrunched his eyebrows together, minimizing the documents on his computer, "Don't we always have lunch together?"

Anna nodded her head, still playing with the paperweight, "True."

"Anna, what's wrong?" Castiel asked, sensing something was off. Anna didn't usually come by his office unless there was something troubling her.

She looked up at him with a small smile, placing the paperweight back on his desk, "Nothing, Castiel. Can't I just come by without something being wrong?"

Castiel leaned forward on his desk, "You haven't ever really before."

Anna looked to the side like she was trying to think of all the times she'd come by. She frowned at her conclusion, "Well, I guess I haven't."

"Anna?"

She sighed in defeat, "I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing. You weren't acting like your usual self last week. And I thought since Dean started working again, you'd be better, but you still seem off. Even Hester's getting worried."

Castiel looked away from her, shuffling papers on his desk as an excuse, "I'm fine, Anna."

He saw her roll her eyes out of the corner of his eye, "Castiel, you are not fine."

He shrugged, "I don't know, Anna. I guess I'm just still feeling a little emotionally drained."

She reached across the small desk and rested her hand on top of his comfortingly. He looked up and she stared at him with kind eyes, "It's okay to feel that way. I just want to see you back on your feet again."

He smiled back at her, "I know and thank you for that. But I'm sure I'll shake this feeling off and be back to normal soon. So, you don't need to worry."

"Okay, just let me know if there's anything I can do, even if it's just to talk," she offered, leveling him with her eyes so he knew she was serious.

He nodded and glanced at the clock. Then, stood up from his chair and grabbed his jacket. Anna followed him out of his office and they walked down to the parking lot. They decided on her car, since it was parked closer. She asked him as she pulled out onto the street, "Have you, uh, talked to Dean about it?"

Castiel glanced at her, knowing what she was referring to, but asking anyway, "About what?"

"About him getting shot," she answered bluntly, but gave him an apologetic look when she saw his face, "Sorry."

He shook his head, fiddling with the cuffs of his sleeves, "It's alright. And, um, no, we haven't. I mean, I thanked him at the hospital for protecting Claire, but that was it. Why?"

She shrugged as she turned the corner towards their favorite sandwich shop, "It might make you feel better to talk about it. And Dean, too, because I'm sure he's dealing with some PTSD because of it."

Castiel frowned, remembering how they had avoided talking about it Monday night. Dean had seemed fine, smiling at him like he always did if not even warmer than before. And he was the one who should actually be shaken up about it. He was the one who got shot and almost died. It was a little ridiculous for Castiel to still be so bothered by it. "What is there even really to talk about, though?"

Anna parked in front of the small family-run shop and then, turned to him, "Talk about how this has affected you both. You can't just bottle your feelings up like that, because they'll just explode one day, and that's never good."

Castiel sighed, trying to think of how to even broach that subject with Dean. It wasn't like him and Dean had a weekly heart-to-heart about whatever they had been feeling the past few days. He knew Dean and he knew that Dean didn't really like to get too serious and talk about his feelings. But if Anna was right and Dean was experiencing some trauma from it, he needed to talk about it with someone. Castiel just hoped he'd be enough for that. If not, he could always ask Sam about it.

"Alright, I'll try and talk to him tonight."

Anna smiled, glad he had listened to her, "Good and while you're at it, you can confess your undying love for each other."

"What?" Castiel looked at her in surprise, feeling his face turn red. But Anna simply laughed and got out of the car.

DIVIDER

Claire giggled into the phone again and it made Dean wonder what she and Gabriel were even talking about. He had called about ten minutes ago and they had been on the phone since. And even on the phone, she was still kicking his ass at Scrabble.

"Yes, they still do that," Claire smiled into the phone, glancing at Dean who was staring at his Scrabble pieces.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Claire spoke into the phone, exasperated.

She listened intently to Gabriel's response and then laughed, "Do you think that will really work?"

"Okay, well, I'll talk to you later, Uncle Gabe. I have to finish kicking Dean's butt at Scrabble," Claire looked up at Dean with a wide smile. He stuck his tongue out at her in response.

"Bye! I love you, too!" She hung up the phone and then placed a 53 point word on the board. Dean groaned in frustration. How many books has this kid read?

As he tried to think of a good enough word to put down, he asked her, "So, what were you and Uncle Gabe talking about?"

She just shook her head with a giggle, "Oh, nothing."

He arched an eyebrow at her, "Really? Nothing at all?"

She nodded, "Yup."

Dean rolled his eyes fondly, but didn't press her any further. Knowing Claire, she'd never give in and spill the beans. The best word he could put down was only 22 points and Claire easily beat him with a 45 point word. There really was no beating her. As they put all the pieces back up, Dean asked her, "You excited about seeing your mom next week?"

She nodded with an excited smile as she helped him, "Yes. I can't wait to see California."

Dean walked over to the hall closet to put the board game up and called over his shoulder, "That's good, Claire. You must miss her a lot."

Claire was quiet for a minute and then when Dean walked back into the room, she spoke without looking up, "Yeah, I was actually feeling pretty sad about it the other day."

Dean sat beside her on the floor, "Do you want to talk about it?"

She looked up at him then and shook her head with a small smile, "No, it's okay. Jess made me feel better about it."

He raised his eyebrows, "Oh, yeah?" That must have been what they had been talking about the other night.

She leaned against the couch, "She told me that her mom wasn't around much when she was little either. But that I was lucky that my mom still loved me and wanted to see me."

Dean felt his heart break slightly, thinking of how Jess must have felt telling Claire that. She didn't ever really like to talk about her mom. She had left Jess and her dad when Jess was around Claire's age. Jess has never heard from her since and Dean doubted she'd even want to. He'd have to thank her for opening up to Claire about it. It seemed to have made Claire feel better.

Claire looked up at him with sad eyes, "Do you think Jess misses her mom?"

Dean thought about it for a moment, before answering, "Yeah, sometimes, probably more when she was younger. But I don't think it bothers her that much anymore."

"Why?" She tilted her head at him. Sometimes she reminded him so much of Cas, he couldn't help but smile.

"Well, Jess still has her dad and the rest of her family. Though, no one can ever really fill the place of her mom, she still has plenty of people in her life that she loves like Sammy and his family. It's like with every person you love, you also become a part of their family and then, have even more people you're connected with," He looked down at her and could see her mulling it over in her head as she looked up.

"Is it like how you told me family don't end with blood?"

He chuckled and grabbed her, kissing the top of her head, "Yeah, sweetheart. It's like that."

DIVIDER

Dean had just finished showing Claire how to do a French braid, when Castiel walked through the door. Castiel felt his heart tug seeing Claire sitting between Dean's legs as he braided her hair. She had a mirror in her hand that she kept moving so she could see what Dean was doing. Dean smiled at him and Castiel felt warm under his green eyes. He continued to explain to Claire, "See? It's just like a normal braid, but you add to the strands as you go. Do you want to try now?"

Claire nodded and Dean ran his fingers through her hair, undoing what he'd just done. She put her mirror down and then looked up to see Castiel taking off his coat and jacket. She hopped up and ran over to him, hugging his waist, "Welcome home, Daddy."

Castiel smiled down at her as he held her, "Hello, Claire. How was your day?"

"It was pretty fun. I beat Dean at Scrabble like always. Then, I painted some pictures. And Dean was just showing me how to do really pretty braids," Claire grinned up at him excitedly and Castiel was happy to see her getting back to herself after the past couple of weeks.

Castiel chuckled and walked over to the couch where Dean was now lounging on, "That does sound fun." He looked at her paint splattered clothes and the shades of blues and red across her arms, "But remember Sam and Jess are coming over for dinner tonight. You should go take a quick shower."

She nodded, picking up her mirror off the floor and then climbing up the stairs. Castiel loosed the tie around his neck and smiled at Dean, "Don't worry, she always beats me in Scrabble, too."

Dean laughed, shifting his body more towards Castiel subconsciously, "She's too smart for her own good."

Castiel nodded, sinking more into the couch. He toed off his shoes and didn't think he'd ever feel more relaxed. Dean wasn't as close to him as he wished he'd be, but he could still feel the warmth emanating from him. He looked over at Dean and felt his heart skip a beat like it always did. He'd never be able to get over how attractive Dean was, especially in his snug gray Henley and dark washed jeans.

Dean leaned into the couch, bringing his arm around to rest on the top of it. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he noticed how easy it would be to just drop his arm lower until it was wrapped around Castiel. His fingers twitched and he felt his skin warm at the thought, but he tried to ignore it. He met Castiel's eyes, seeing how the dark circles under his eyes hadn't really gone away and that his stubble wasn't as clean shaved as usual. He looked tired and Dean didn't know why, but he wanted to help. "Was work alright?" Dean asked, thinking it probably had to do something with Castiel's job. It really stressed him out sometimes.

Castiel nodded, but it looked like the question had reminded him of something. His eyes drifted away like he was thinking of something in particular, "Yes, it was fine. Um, Dean, can I ask you something?" Castiel looked almost nervous as his eyes flickered back to Dean, but he leaned closer to him, folding his legs underneath him.

"Of course, Cas, anything," Dean gestured for him to continue, wondering what he was going to ask.

Castiel tried to think of a smoother way of bring it up, but fell short and simply asked, "How are you, Dean?"

Dean's eyebrows pulled together confused, "I'm fine, Cas." He chuckled, "Wow, Cas, way to build up the moment. I thought you were going to ask something serious."

Castiel shook his head and sighed, "No, Dean, I didn't mean like how are you in the casual sense. How are you feeling after what happened?"

Dean knew exactly what he was referring to, Castiel could see it in his eyes in how he looked away from him and his smile fell. His jaw clenched and Castiel could tell he felt uncomfortable at the question. Anna had been right in thinking that Dean had been more affected than Castiel thought and he felt like crap for not having noticed.

Dean shrugged, barely glancing at him, "I feel fine, man. My side hurts if I put too much pressure on it, but that's it."

Castiel raised an eyebrow at him, "Really? That's it?"

Dean pulled his arm back closer to his body and turned away from Castiel. He rested his elbows on his knees and avoided Castiel's eyes. He laughed humorlessly, "Yeah, that's it. What's with the scrutiny, Cas?"

"Well, it's just," Castiel tried to remember what all Anna had said, "we haven't really talked about it –"

Dean cut him off, his voice rising slightly, "Because there's nothing to talk about. I almost died. So what? End of story."

Castiel was taken aback by Dean's harsh tone and it must have been evident on his face, because Dean's expression fell when he looked up at him. He reached over and placed a hand over Castiel's knee. He closed his eyes and ran his fingers through his hair with his other hand. He spoke softer this time, "Dammit, I'm sorry, Cas. I just – I don't know. I've just been trying to ignore it, but it keeps creeping up on me and I – I'm sorry, I didn't mean to lash out at you."

Dean wouldn't have been surprised if Castiel shoved him away, but he simply wrapped his hand around Dean's. The warm weight in his hand had an instant calming effect and Dean let out a deep breath. He felt Castiel shift on the couch and he sounded closer as he spoke comfortingly, "It's okay, Dean. You don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

A comfortable silence passed between them as Dean debated inside his head. After a few seconds, he glanced at Castiel's kind eyes and then back at the floor, "I had honestly thought I was fine the first couple of days, but then I started having these dreams…and I couldn't sleep at night anymore. The slightest noise would wake me up and I'd just lie in bed the rest of the night."

Castiel was quiet for a moment trying to decide what to say, not wanting Dean to close up, before he asked, "Dreams about what happened that night?"

Dean nodded, then sighed and leaned back into the couch. He shrugged and glanced at his hand wrapped in Castiel's, "Sometimes they're a little different, but yeah pretty much."

Castiel tried to comfort him the best he could, but there wasn't really much he could offer. He squeezed Dean's hand lightly, "They'll stop eventually. Probably sooner than you think. It's just still so fresh in your mind and it was a traumatic experience."

Dean gave him a soft smile, or at least tried to, "Yeah, you're probably right."

Castiel didn't say anything more and that just sat there for a moment until Dean spoke hesitantly, "Can I tell you something?"

"Of course, Dean," Castiel nodded for him to continue.

Dean met Castiel's eyes, but apparently couldn't hold them when he began to speak, looking away, "I'm pretty sure I died."

Castiel gave him a confused look and argued, "No, Dean, you didn't. They said there wasn't any complications and –"

Dean cut him off, looking up at him and shifting closer to him, "Cas, I did. I-I remember it." Castiel frowned and felt a tight grip on his heart. He had never Dean so shaken before. He was always smiling and joking around. From what Castiel could tell, he didn't really let anything get to him, just shrugging all the bad things off.

"You remember it?" Castiel asked in a gentle voice.

Dean nodded, clearing his throat, "Yeah." A couple seconds passed and Dean glanced away, before continuing, "It was like a dream, except I had thought it was real. I didn't even second guess it for a second. I probably should have, thinking back, it was just too good to be true. Literally." He chuckled humorlessly, scratching the back of his neck with his free hand.

Dean stared off into the distance as if he was reliving this dream. Castiel didn't know why it scared him. Like Dean was out of reach to him. The shock of Dean knowing how close he'd been to death sent an unwelcome twist of knots to his stomach. He almost felt sick.

"Everyone I loved was there," Dean looked back at Castiel and he could see a faint blush rising in his cheeks, "It was pretty damn close to perfect if you ask me." The corners of Dean's mouth were turned up as he remembered and Castiel felt a strange sense of being inadequate. Was Dean's dream, or whatever it was, better than the life he had here?

Castiel waited a couple of seconds, before softly asking, "What happened?"

Dean's small smile fell as he answered, "Claire, actually. She, um, she kept trying to warn me, telling me I wasn't supposed to be there. At first, I had thought she just meant that she didn't want me here – uh, I mean, there. But then this guy appeared…" Dean's eyes had this far off look in them and he looked almost pale. Whomever he was remembering, he tried to forget, shaking his head and closing his eyes briefly.

Castiel squeezed his hand comfortingly and it seemed to weigh Dean back to earth, back to that small couch in the Novaks' house. Dean squeezed back and swallowed thickly before continuing, "He called himself Death and he, well, he told me that I was somewhere halfway between living and dying. That I could go to Heaven if I wanted to. He gave me the choice."

Castiel felt his blood run cold at Dean's words, seeing how close he had been to losing Dean made him feel lightheaded and like he wanted to throw up. He tried to remind himself of the weight in his hand, the proof that Dean was still with him. That he was alive. It may have just been a dream, a simple dream, but it had felt so real to Dean that Castiel didn't dare argue with him.

"I decided to stay, though," Dean met Castiel's eyes then and they reassured him that Dean was with him more than the warmth of his calloused hand. "I didn't want to leave those who cared about me behind."

Castiel smiled at him and let out a shaky breath, "Good."

Dean chuckled and instinctively tugged Castiel closer to him by his hand. The warmth emitting from Castiel's body and his bright blue eyes were if anything, if not a little intoxicating to Dean. The nightmares and memories soon slipped away from Dean's mind by just looking at Castiel. Castiel's hand in his felt nice, too, and he knew that now it would be even harder to resist reaching out for the man.

But as Dean stared into Castiel's eyes, he still looked upset. He tried to reassure him, wondering if he should have just kept his mouth shut about everything, "Cas, I'm not going anywhere."

Castiel's cheeks turned a light shade of pink and he glanced down at his lap, "I know, Dean."

Dean bent his head down and tried to catch Castiel's eyes. When he did, he gave him a lopsided smile, "And I'm going to be alright."

Castiel laughed, "Dean, I'm supposed to be the one comforting you."

Dean stroked his thumb across Castiel's skin soothingly and didn't look away from his eyes as he leaned closer and spoke in a soft voice, "Yeah, well, you look more worried about me than I do."

Castiel's heart picked up with the way Dean was looking at him and he couldn't look away from him even if he wanted to. He felt his mind go completely blank and it actually felt good to be so blank with nothing but Dean to occupy his thoughts. He managed to stutter out, "I-I'm sorry."

But Dean only smiled at him and it made Castiel wonder if the man had any idea the control he had over him. Dean spoke in a smooth voice that reminded Castiel of the rock singers that Dean was so fond of, "You don't have to apologize about that, Cas."

Castiel opened his mouth to reply, not really having any idea what he was going to say and just letting his mouth do all the work, when the doorbell rang. Both of them glanced at the doorway surprised and Castiel heard Dean sigh beside him, "Right, Sam and Jess."

Castiel looked back at him to find Dean already staring at him. After a couple seconds, Dean stood up from the couch, "I'll get it." He gave one last look at Castiel before letting his hand slip away from his grasp as he walked to the front door.

Castiel stared after him and let out a deep breath, hoping his heart would calm down by the time Dean walked back into the room with Sam and Jess.

DIVIDER

Claire had seem to take it upon herself to entertain Sam and Jess while Dean and Castiel cooked dinner. She told them about some of her favorite books and characters, or anything else that popped into her mind. Sam's favorite story was hearing how Dean had tried to teach her to play guitar and she'd somehow managed to pop a string.

Jess laughed as Claire tried to defend herself, "Well, he didn't tell me what the knobs on the top were and then, he trusted me enough to leave me alone with it. It's his own fault really."

Dean scoffed from the stove over a sizzling pan of catfish, "Yeah, it's my fault for thinking that you'd just continue practicing what I showed you and not start messing with the tuning pegs."

Claire shrugged and held out her hands innocently, "What can I say? I'm a curious kid."

Dean just laughed and continued cooking as Castiel hummed along to the radio contently beside him. Sam smiled at them and then noticed something out of the corner of his eye. He nodded his head towards the fridge and asked Claire, "Are those your paintings, Claire?"

She looked behind her and turned back to him and Jess with a shy smile, "Yes, um, would you like to see them?"

Jess leaned forward with a grin, "Would love to, princess."

Claire climbed down from her chair and hurried over to the fridge carefully taking down a couple pieces of paper. She walked back over to the kitchen table, clutching them to her chest, "Okay, are you ready?"

Sam and Jess both nodded eagerly, biting back smiles. Claire handed them over nervously to Sam after she climbed back into her chair. Jess leaned close to Sam, so she could see the first painting clearly. Sam chuckled when he recognized it immediately. He looked over the paper at Claire who was watching him with a faint blush, "Gotta say you did a great job, ClaireBear."

Jess nodded along with her own wide smile, "Yeah, Claire, looks just like Baby. I'm impressed."

Claire looked away from them embarrassed and mumbled a small, "Thank you."

Sam saw Dean and Cas smile at each other as they moved around the stove. Sam shuffled the papers in his hands to see the next painting and what he saw took his breath slightly away. He felt a warmth in his chest and soft smile form on his lips as he read the title in purple paint, My Family. He glanced at Jess, seeing her have the same reaction by his side. He asked the wonderful artist without looking up from the paper, "Is this us?"

He heard Claire clamor down from her chair and her little feet pad over to the other side of the table. His eyes didn't leave the paper as he tried to name everyone in his head. Once Claire was beside him, he scooped her up into his lap. She spoke in a quiet voice as she pointed at the paper, "There's you guys next to Dean and then there's me with Daddy and Mama. Then, I drew Uncle Gabe and Kali over here. I wanted to draw Charlie and her family and the Harvelles, but I didn't have any more room."

Jess smiled down at her, "It's beautiful, Claire."

Sam sat the paper gently back onto the table and looked down at the small bundle of blonde hair in his arms, "Yeah, Claire, thank you for including us. It means a lot."

She smiled, but looked down at her lap playing with her fingers. She shrugged, "Well, Dean told me that family don't end with blood, so I just thought…"

Sam felt like his heart melted with her words and hugged her tightly, "That's right, Claire."

She looked up at him then and smiled, before hopping down from his lap. She walked over to Castiel and tugged on his slacks. He bent down and she whispered something in his ear. Before Sam could wonder what she was saying, Jess wrapped her arm around his and pulled him closer.

He looked at her and she was grinning down at the paper. He chuckled when he realized what she was smiling about. In the painting almost everyone was connected. She had him and Jess holding hands and then her uncle and his wife. Then, she had Dean with Castiel who was holding hands with Claire and then her mom was attached to her.

Jess spoke in a low voice, so only he would hear her, "He's really made a family here, hasn't he?"

Sam nodded with a warm smile on his face as he glanced at Dean laughing with Castiel as they cooked, "Yeah, he has."

She held him closer and looked over at them, too, "I'm happy for him."

"Me too, Jess," Sam sighed contently, glancing back at the painting on the table.