I got bored and didn't have anything better to do.

R & R.

Enjoy~!

Dear Primo-sensei,

My paperwork is slowly reaching the height of Mount Everest. I can barely eat or sleep nowadays. To make things worse, my vicious and bloodthirsty Cloud Guardian has taken my tutor's place to threaten me into finishing my work. Any tip would be great, thanks.

Dying slowly,

Not a Mafia Boss

XXX

Dear descendant of mine,

Have you tried burning your paperwork? I think transferring all the paperwork to your Guardians and causing destruction yourself would do.

I feel your pain,

Primo-sensei

Dear Primo-sensei,

Where the hell are you? The afterlife's paperwork is piling up again!

I'll drag your ass back here,

Loyal Right-Hand Man

XXX

Dear Loyal Right-Hand Man,

You will never find out where I am.

Take that,

Primo-sensei

Dear Primo-sensei,

There's this guy who keeps bugging me. Wherever I go, he'd be there and be like "Dera, there you are!" and "Dera, I've been looking for you." or "Dera, I did a homerun!". It's annoying as fuck and I could really care less on what he does with his life. I just want some peace and quiet (preferably with the Tenth). I've both showed and told him countless times to buzz-off and he's not understand anything.

I don't get him.

Better than the pink-haired copycat,

The Best Right-Hand Man

XXX

Dear Tsundere,

I don't get him, either.

However, you should be nicer to him since he considers you a great friend. Besides, I think my descendant would appreciate it if his two friends get along.

P.S. I would like for you to stop sending G hate mail with dynamites attached. It doesn't matter if you want to blow him up, but the repairs for explosions are adding up to my pile of work.

Yours Truly,

Primo-sensei

Dear Primo-sensei,

I just found out that the only friend I could relate to, is from the Family of ill repute and son of the man who murdered my family. And recently, I learned that he's the next boss of the Family that I will destroy. I am torn between getting revenge and keeping our friendship. I don't want to lose a friend, but I also don't want to lose my other friends who want revenge like me. Any good advice?

Being a mafioso sucks,

Compass Eyes

XXX

Dear Friendship Worrywart,

I am truly sorry for what you've been through. When I first built the Vongola, I meant for it to be the symbol of our own brand of justice. It was meant to be noble, but it has destroyed many lives instead. I will lecture the other bosses and Iemitsu later.

It all depends on you. Do you equally value your friendships? Can you call them your true friends? If so, then I'm sure your revenge-seeking friends would understand if you befriended a murderer's son. Besides, it's not his fault that he descended from a tainted bloodline.

Yours Truly,

Primo-sensei

Dear Primo-sensei,

Dude, I just saw a really beautiful lady. She had long silver hair, a physique expected from a mafioso, and a voice that could shake a thousand mountains. She is the epitome of a true mafia woman. And did I mention that she was smoking HOT? She stole my heart. I think I'm in love.

The problem is that she seems to be smitten with that Xanxus guy. I can't blame her for it. He's the leader of an independent assassination squad for the largest, most powerful, and most influential Family in the whole world, while I'm just the head of a mediocre Family.

Still, I don't want to lose her. She's everything I ever wanted in my life.

Sincerely,

Lovesick Kamen Rider

XXX

Dear Closet Super Sentai fan,

Ah, young love. Oh, how I remember my own endeavors of the heart back in our glory days…

Anyways, if you think she is worth your life, sanity, dignity, and reputation, go for it, even if it means getting shot or getting wine glasses thrown at your head. Multiple times. Otherwise, just think of how many fish in the sea are left single. Though I have to say, you've got some tough competition there, pal. I'll root for you.

On a side note, I can't blame you for being head over heels for her. That Squalo chick is, indeed, hot.

Yours Truly,

Primo-sensei

Dear slacker,

Go back to your damn office. Now.

P.S. I'll burn your sweet stash.

Go home,

ULTIMATE Right-Hand Man (Don't listen to the wannabe. He's the one who copied my face)

XXX

Dear right-hand man of mine,

NEVER.

P.S. I transferred my sweet stash from the loose floorboard. You'll never find them!

Make me,

Primo-sensei

DEAR PRIMO-SENSEI,

THERE IS A WEIRD MOHAWK-HAIRED MAN STARING AT MY WINDOW. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

THANKS,

EXTREMELY Disturbed

XXX

Dear Extremely Disturbed,

Ignore him. Lock all your doors and windows. Better yet, call that Xanxus guy or that smoking hot Squalo chick for assistance.

God bless you,

Primo-sensei

Dear Primo-sensei,

There's this guy who keeps abusing me. He constantly tries to shoot my head off even when I'm not doing anything wrong, and there's that one time he pushed me off a cliff for his amusement. How can I make him stop? I'm gonna die at this rate!

P.S. I think he misses having a personal punching bag, what with my little bro's tutelage finished.

Begging for help,

Bucking Bronco

XXX

Dear Bucking Bronco,

I have no idea how. And I actually think he's unstoppable.

Word of advice: Make or hire someone to make an espresso to die for. He might go easier on you.

Good luck (you'll need it),

Primo-sensei

Dear Primo-sensei,

I once wanted to destroy the mafia, but now… actually, I still do, just considerably less so. And that is all thanks to mi amore. Unfortunately, he doesn't seem to understand my feelings. I tried outright telling him (and that I want to take over his body metaphorically), but it didn't work. How should I show my love?

Sincerely,

*Fruity* (it was scratched out) Greatest Illusionist

XXX

Dear Pineapple-head,

Stay away from Tsunayoshi.

Go to Hell,

Or Face My Wrath

Dear Primo-sensei,

I have a boss, you see. He slacks off a lot, and even disappears for ridiculous amounts of time to who knows where. He dirties up the office, he doesn't contribute to anything, and he. Won't. Stop. Ordering. Marshmallows. Using the company's money and even my own credit card at times!

He is a generous boss, but I would like it if he would at least do his share of paperwork instead of dumping them all on me. I have a life outside of work!

My stomach hurts,

Quietly Suffering

XXX

Dear Quietly Suffering,

You can't completely blame your boss. Paperwork is the greatest enemy of mankind. On the other hand, he should do his own work, seeing as it is unfair on your part. He should be more like me; balancing work and play very well at no one else's expense!

Have you tried bribing him with limited edition marshmallows? Better yet, try grounding him and making him sleep on the couch. That usually works for a friend of mine.

For that stomach-ache, I suggest going to the nearest doctor who isn't picky (I'm judging you, Shamal).

Yours Truly,

Primo-sensei

Dear Sucks to be You,

I found your stash. You seriously should find a better place other than under your mattress.

Say Goodbye to Them,

Loyal Right-Hand Man

XXX

Dear Merciless Bastard,

NOOOOOOO!

ASARI, YOU TRAITOR. YOU TOLD HIM, DIDN'T YOU.

Alright I'm going,

Reluctantly

This might actually have a continuation if people like it enough.

Ciao ciao~! -Flonne.