TITLE: Dance in the Dark
AUTHOR: do you see the stars
RATING: T
SUMMARY: The ladies of Marvel and their relationships with their men, their friends, and themselves.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Marvel. The song title comes from a Lady Gaga song of the same title.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Chapter 1: Maria Hill
Maria Hill doesn't like to look in the mirror. When she does, she almost always hates what she sees. She judges every flaw and fault, both in the mirror and within herself. She keeps a list of her mistakes in the back of her mind, to pull out and remind herself that she has to do better. She has to prove that the people who have died because of her didn't die in vain. The list of people is almost as long as the list of mistakes and she hates herself for it.
It started with her mother, then later, her father. As much as she hated him, she never meant for him to drink himself to death. And it was her fault. Later, she added her fiance, Jake, to the list. He'd been in the Marines with her and had covered her during an explosion. She survived. He didn't. After she joined S.H.I.E.L.D. the list grew exponentially finally culminating with the Triskelion incident. There is so much blood on her hands that she doesn't think it'll ever wash away.
So every day, she forces herself to look in the mirror as she puts on her make up. Reminds herself that she can accept no less than perfection. She has too many sins to atone for to allow herself the luxury of failure. Then she puts on her shoes and tries to mask her fear and pain, hoping that one day the scales will equal out.