Written in collaboration with Emperor Dalek.

Disclaimer: We own diddly squat. Which means nothing.


"Alright, boys." Amy tossed her scarf over her shoulder and stepped outside the T.A.R.D.I.S. doors. "A girl needs her shopping trip. I'll be back in six hours, and don't you dare leave me behind."

The Doctor held two thumbs up.

"Have fun," Rory waved. "Or, whatever it is you do on shopping trips."

"No flirting, you two," Amy joked as the doors slammed shut.

Rubbing his hands together, the Doctor turned to Rory. "Well then. We're stuck in here for six hours. May as well put it to good use."


"Got any sixes?" Rory took a sip of his diet coke.

"No. Go fish."

"Ugh."

"Twos?" The Doctor dipped a fish finger into his bowl of custard.

Rory tossed a card over and the Doctor added it to his growing pile, wiggling his eyebrows.

Rory sighed. "Got any kings?"

"Go fish. Any threes?"

"Are you cheating?" He reluctantly slid a three over.

"Not cheating. Just lucky."

"Uhuh. Got any jacks?"

"Used to. Go fish."

"Ugh."


One hour and seventeen losses of Go Fish later, Rory threw down his cards. "So what else do you normally do around here, other than… Cheat at stupid card games?"

The Doctor smoothly placed his final cards onto the top of a rather impressive three-foot tower. "I don't cheat. You're just bad. And this is a highly educational game."

"Right." The man paused. "In what way?"

"Never mind that. Now then!" The Doctor leapt to his feet abruptly and strode to the door to exit the room. "Come along, Pond."

"Where are we going now?" Rory stood slowly. "And it's Williams."

"Back room. I've got a new machine."

He blinked. "Alright. What does it do?"

"No idea." The Timelord grinned and disappeared from sight. His voice echoed from the hall. "Well, come on, then!"

Rory glanced around the empty room and checked his watch. Five hours left.

He shrugged to himself before muttering a "why not" and started down the hall.


"Here it is!" announced the Doctor, after what seemed like an infinite number of turns, several miles of hallway and a short lunch break.

The contraption consisted mainly of a shiny metal box with a slit, small enough to hold easily with two hands. A small display showed two buttons. One was large and green and emitted a faint light.

''What exactly do we do with this?" Rory stared down at the device.

A screen on the top lit up.

"Please insert a designated image." A soothing voice sounded.

"Designated image?"

"Well, go on, then," prompted the Doctor. "Do as it says."

"Oh, um." Rory reached into his wallet. "Will this do?" He held up a photograph of Amy, posing goofily in front of a staircase.

"That will do," affirmed the machine. "Please insert a designated image." The Doctor giggled with excitement.

Rory dropped the photo into the box, gave a distrustful glance to the control panel, and pressed the big green button.

The box began to hum, and the two leapt backwards as it shot out an orb of blinding white light. They shielded their eyes as it began to grow.

A familiar voice spoke. "Hello?"

The Doctor squinted as the light dimmed. "Pond?"

"Um. Yeah, I think so," replied Amy Pond, holding her head. "I… What's goin' on?"

"Cloning process complete," the machine spoke. "Success."

The three stared at each other for a few moments. The distraught woman frowned and backed up, nearing the table and the Doctor and Rory watched in horror as she knocked into the box and it tumbled to the floor.

It began to shake tremendously.

"Well, that's not what you want," remarked the new Amy.

The machine suddenly spat out another orb, and another, and another. The Doctor leapt into action as the three new orbs each took form. "Cloning process complete. Success."

The original Amy screamed at the sight of her quadruplets.

"You know, I had a dream about this once," mused Rory.

"Oh dear." The Doctor started towards the machine, wielding his sonic screwdriver, but was blown back as the machine spat out dozens of orbs with the speed of a machine gun.

"Cloning process complete. Success. Cloning process complete. Success. Cloning complete. Process. Succe- cloning proce- omplete. Clon - Succ- Process-" the machine stuttered.

The room rapidly filled with Amys. Already there were at least twenty. "No, no, no, no, no this is very bad," exclaimed the Doctor. "We have to fix this now. Before the real Amy gets back!"

"I have to say, this isn't quite how my dream ended!" Shouted Rory in reply. "What are we going to do?"

"Don't worry!" shouted the Doctor. "I have a plan!"

-2 hours, thirty new Amy's, and several bad plans later-

The Doctor and Rory sat, slumped, at the corner of the room.

"Maybe," suggested the Doctor desperately above the cacophony of Rory's fifty squabbling wives, "if we get them all near the machine they'll go back into it!"

Rory shouted something unintelligible, which the Doctor took to be agreement.

-1 more hour and even more poor plans later-

As the Doctor and Rory were backed against the wall, on the verge of dying from the press of all the Amy's pushing against them, the Doctor glanced at Rory.

"Rory?"

"Yes, Doctor?"

"I have something to confess." The Doctor stared into Rory's eyes. "Rory, I… I cheated at Go Fish."

-thirty minutes later-

"Aha!" The Doctor exclaimed, finally reaching the box amongst the sea of Amy's. He held it up in the air like a trophy.

Breathing heavily, Rory burst out of hoard, dodging grabbing hands and shouts of, 'Rory!' 'Doctor!' 'Whats goin' on?' and 'Rory, what did you do?!"

"Perhaps if we pressed the reset button," said the Doctor, examining the box.

"The what?!" Screamed Rory.

"The... Reset... Button?" The Doctor repeated faintly.

"There's a reset button?!"

"Yes, yes, that's what I said, the reset button."

Rory marched towards the Timelord, seething. "I danced around in my underwear because you thought it would get their attention, and now you tell me there's a reset button?!"

"Well, it certainly got my attention," said Amy #214.


Amy finally arrived back at the T.A.R.D.I.S. half an hour later, carrying several dozen bags and boxes. "Hello boys. Did 'ya miss me?"

The Doctor and Rory looked up from their game of Go-Fish, then at each other.

"Y'know Amy," said Rory, "it was like you'd never left."


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- Impossible Oswin

Do what she said

- Emperor Dalek