I was challenged by a very important person to me to do a set of Crack/Comedy based drabbles for the Vampire Knight series, so here it is.

Most of these will have implied, or straight out Kanazero, in them but some will not. I'll take requests for drabbles, considering this is just a project for fun on the side of my actual stories.

All of these will be short, some longer than others, some not.

This particular drabble is based off a spoof I saw on youtube, I'd highly recommend watching it.

Drabble one: Can you pitch a tent?

Warning: OOCNESS, profanity, impled Kaname x Zero.

Zero Kiryu hated his life with a passion, but never more so than at that moment. And the reason was blatantly obvious as he stared heatedly at the man across from him.

Kaname fucking Kuran.

"Kiryu, do you plan on drilling holes through my head the entire evening?"

The voice of the pureblood was grating on his already fried nerves, and not wanting to grant that bastard the luxury of an answer, Zero just continued to castrate him with his gaze. His eyes stabbing into the garnet orbs with brutal anger.

Kaname just stared back, the air thick with bitterness that could be cut with a knife.

"..."

Silence bloomed between them as they both patiently waited for Yuuki and the Chairman to arrive at the meeting that was 'of dire importance'. Yet both of them could conveniently be a good twenty minutes late. Dire importance his ass!

Another minute ticked passed, and Zero was getting fed up. Clenching his hand into a fist, Zero used every ounce of will power not to just storm from the room. The pureblood's scent was sickening, and every minute he sat there, enduring the bastard's scent, the more he wanted to punch a wall. He could practically taste the man's arrogance, that no good…

He took a forced swig of the drink left on the end table by his chair, courteously left there by his lunatic of a caretaker.

Yuuki better hurry up or he was going to-

"Kiryu, have you ever done a cock push up?"

Zero's lips projected a splash of juice, his eyes enlarging to the size of saucers as he tried to stop his coughing fit. With a hand nestled on his aching throat, Zero gave Kaname a look of pure disbelief. "Have I ever done a what?"

"A cock push up. Do I truly need to repeat myself?"

Time froze, and Zero just stared at the pureblood as if he had grown another head, which he may as well have just done.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Zero replied, while Kaname merely stared at him casually as if they were discussing the damn weather. Then the guy had the audacity to shrug, as if there was nothing completely and utterly wrong with what he just asked.

Silence became apparent between them much more, and this time Zero focused his gaze on the wall.

But a nagging thought wouldn't leave his mind…Zero scowled.

"…What the hell is a cock push up anyway?"

Kaname glossed his gaze over at him from the corner of his eyes, the wine colored globes not revealing a single emotion that could betray his thoughts. That annoying mask held firmly in place. Zero waited for him to answer, the scowl deepening on his face.

"It's where you lift yourself up with the power of your erection."

Zero blinked and unashamedly gaped at the pureblood, "what?!"

Kaname smirked, his eyes suddenly filled with amusement and Zero's stomach plummeted to his knees.

"I could demonstrate if you desire?"

A loud bang was heard outside the door of the office, along with an enraged yell.

"WHAT THE HELL?!"

Ten minutes later, Yuuki walked into the room, her eyes widening as she stared at her childhood friend. "Eh, where's Kaname-senpai?"

"Don't know, don't care."

Blinking again, she took in his appearance, concern flashing in her eyes. "Zero, why is your face all red?"

Fighting back his blush at the memory of Kuran standing up with a proud tent in his pants, Zero growled, "Yuuki, shut up."

Author's note: Any feedback is welcome; this is strictly being written because I cannot back down from a challenge, alongside my own entertainment and the reader's.