Tris

The Choosing Ceremony is at noon, and after preparing breakfast together and spending some time with our parents, Caleb and I are dismissed to our rooms for some time to think about our test result and our decision. I promised Tobias I wouldn't make a rash decision, and I won't, but with everything that has happened in the past few days, I'm nervous and I need to talk with Caleb, now; his decision might affect my own. I walk into his room without knocking.

"Beatrice! You can't knock now?" he asks. I know he's only upset because I caught him, again, on his tablet. I look back and forth between his face and his hands, but he hides the tablet under his pillow and motions for me to sit down next to him.
"I'm sorry Caleb, but I just needed to talk to you and it couldn't wait. I'm going to ask you something, and I need you to be honest with me."
"Okay," he says quietly.
"What is going on in Erudite?"

His eyes widen and he fidgets slightly, but he doesn't answer me. "Caleb. I know something is happening, and I know you know what it is. Please. I need to know."
"How do you...?"
"I know a lot of things, and how isn't important" I say, slightly irritated already. "Caleb. I just need the truth, and I need to hear it from you."
"I don't know all the details," he says quietly.
"Then tell me what you do know."

He looks around for a minute before answering. "Jeanine wants power. She wants to run the government, and she wants Abnegation out of the way."
"I could figure that out on my own. If you're not going to volunteer the information, then I'll ask. Tell me about the serums."
He looks at me dumbfounded for a moment before answering. "They're not ready."
"What are they for?"
"I don't know. That's part of why she gave me the tablet. She wants my help."
"So she wants you to choose Erudite today?" He nods. "Are you?" I ask so quiet, I can barely hear myself. I watch my brother's eyes look all around his room before finally settling on mine, and even though I'll know, I'm not sure if I want him to tell me the truth, or to lie.
"Beatrice, I have to think of myself today, but so do you. Just remember that, okay?"

I nod and try to hold back the tears. "One more thing. Nobody's going to get hurt, are they?"
"Beatrice, what? No! No, no, no. I would never do anything that would hurt anyone. You know that, don't you?" I nod and he reaches out, pulling me into him.
"I love you, Caleb."
"I love you too, Beatrice."

I sit in my room and cry a little. I understand why my brother is doing what he's doing, but that doesn't mean I have to like it or even understand it. I mean, looking back, I can see the aptitude for Erudite is evident everywhere; from the extra books he would bring home, to the random questions I would hear him ask elders when he thought nobody was listening.

My feelings echo Tobias' wholly though; something is not right about any of this, and my brother is going to be putting himself right in the middle of it. I walk to my dresser and take out the folder I had hidden. Just holding it brings a warm sensation to my chest, and I almost wish I could rewind time and experience the moments when I first received them all over again. So much has happened since I chose to test the waters, but there's something to the innocence of how it all began; something that feels like a missing part of me.

I read the letters Tobias wrote, and a sad smile creeps up on me; neither one of us can ever truly be who we really are, and neither one of us will ever truly be happy.

I place the letters back where they belong when I'm done and wipe my face. My choice is clear now; Caleb is leaving, so I must stay. I can't break my parents hearts like he will.

When we arrive at the Hub, I do my best to look everywhere for Tobias, but the Dauntless are rowdy and I'm still Abnegation, so I wait patiently, hoping he finds me instead. I know I'll see him tonight, but I want to see him now; see his reassuring eyes and the small nod of his head telling me everything will be okay, but it doesn't happen. When the ceremony starts, I do my best to listen to what's being said, but all I can hear is a dull hum in my ears.

Before I realize it, my brother is leaving his place beside me. I watch as he cuts his hand, and pledges his life to Erudite. They welcome him with open arms, and suddenly my fathers face flashes before my eyes.

Of all the factions, Caleb had to choose Erudite.

Even though they are behind me, I can picture my fathers eyes, like mine, following Caleb into his new faction. They're so full of pain and hurt and betrayal that I'm scared that I'll never be able to see anything else in them.

When my name is called, it feels like everything is moving in slow motion; I know I'm walking, I know I'm cutting into my hand, and I know what I'm supposed to do.

But I can't; it's just not who I am. This is the part of me that's missing.

Just before we leave, I take one last look at my parents. My father sits with his head in his hands, but my mother just smiles at me and nods as she always has, and now I understand. All her little smiles and silent nods of encouragement lately; she's proud. She'll make him understand, I think; make him proud too.

Things move fast, and before I know it, I'm jumping onto a moving train the way I've imagined it a thousand times before. The ride to Dauntless is long, but I talk with the Candor girl, Christina, who sits beside me. And when an obnoxious boy from Erudite calls me a Stiff, she stands up for me.

I jump again, this time onto the roof of a building, hand in hand with a friend by my side; and when we don't stick our landings, we are there to pick each other up.

There's only one thing left to let me know I made the right choice.

"Listen up," a tall man with dark skin and many tattoos calls out. "My name is Max, and I am a leader of Dauntless. There's only one entrance into the compound, and it's down there. Who wants to be the first to enter?"

The crowd leans forward and looks over the ledge to a gaping hole in the ground, and one by one, they back away, leaving me by myself.
"Me," I say. "I'll go first."

Max laughs and the boy from Erudite teases me when I remove my bulky sweater and too long shirt, leaving my arms exposed for the first time I can recall. I shrug it off and take a moment to appreciate the strong breeze and beautiful view from up here, but say a silent prayer that I survive this.

There's nothing left to do but jump, so I hold my breath and leap, and in the few seconds that I am weightless, I close my eyes and hold out my arms. The weightlessness makes me feel like I am flying, and for just a moment, I imagine that I am.

My body hits something hard yet giving, a net, and I let out a shriek of excitement. I notice a pair of hands, strong and familiar reaching out for me, and my heart races as I quickly scramble towards them.

They pull me off the net with such ease, and slowly lower me down onto the ground. I look up, and the first thing I can think is, it's him.

The boy with the blue eyes.

Tobias.

He stayed.

Concern crosses his face, but he pulls himself together quickly, and asks me what my name is.
"Tris," I say confidently.
"First jumper, Tris!" he yells out, and a mob of Dauntless that were hiding in the shadows cheer for me.
"Tris," he says again, "Welcome to Dauntless," and as he places his hand on my back to guide me to where I need to be, he leans down and whispers in my ear, "Together."

I smile as I watch Tobias turn back to the net and help Christina out next. I know things aren't going to be easy, and with the information Tobias and I have, I might not even get to experience true Dauntless life, but that's okay. Life is all about choices, and I know I made the right one. I just wish I had brought that letter. He owes me one cake.

A/N:
Well, that's all she wrote. I hope you liked it, and even though I could go on forever with this story, I won't. It was all about choices, and Tris made hers. : )

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