Life, the price, death, the gain...

Chapter 5

Oakland, California

July 1969

"Why the fuck does that white guy keep looking at you, Liv," whispered Angela while glaring at the striking man standing at the back of the auditorium, "and what the hell is he doing here standing out like a sore thumb?"

Olivia stared down at her program pretending to read it instead of answer Angela's question. She didn't venture a glance at the man standing with the other attendees in the standing room only auditorium. He was the reason for the butterflies in her stomach instead of the upcoming speech she'd been tasked with giving at the People's Revolution Rally.

This was the chance of a lifetime for Olivia and all the women of the movement. Huey, Bobby, and the other leader's of the Black Panther Party were all in New York on business so they'd left this event up to them. Assata had been skeptical about their motives for leaving on short notice in the face of a big rally sure to bring in money and new members. She was convinced they were up to something they didn't want the women to know about. Olivia had been more positive. She felt they were finally seeing the important role women were playing in the revolution, more than just bodies to bed, but real voices in the fight against white oppression. She'd jumped at the chance to redo the program with the women as speakers. She'd crafted new posters advertising the new speakers and lauding black women as the true bearers of the struggle. If you lift up black women, everyone benefits. There was some push back from some of the men, but Huey stepped in and shut them down.

"Liv, did you hear me?" Angela prodded again.

"Angela, I don't know what you're talking about. Shouldn't you be concentrating on your speech? You're up next after Elaine. And then it's me. Then Kathleen. We have to kill it tonight or the men are going to blame us for anything that goes wrong," said Olivia hastily.

Angela pursed her lips and leaned forward to get a better look at the man dressed in all black. "I don't know about this Liv. I would say he's a plant from the FBI, but why would they send someone who looks so conspicuous? He is white as hell wearing all that black in Oakland in the middle of July. I don't understand it," she said.

"Now we will have Ms. Angela Davis speak about why we should exercise our 2nd Amendment rights," the master of ceremony announced.

Olivia joined in with the thunderous applause, standing to her feet as Angela walked to the podium. She was thankful she didn't have to answer anymore of Angela's questions. She scanned the room, her eyes colliding with a pair of deep blue ones. She couldn't see their color from the distance between them, but she knew them from her dreams. Her lower abdomen shivered in response. He smiled at her. She wanted to smile back. The sharp jarring sound of the microphone's feedback broke their gaze when she looked away and back at the podium where Angela stood.

She took her seat and pinched the bridge of her nose. I must be crazy. If Angela can see him, he must be real, she thought. Indeed, he had to be real. She couldn't be crazy and have it jump to other people. It all started two years ago before she moved to Oakland to attend college. She was living in Durham, North Carolina, a moody teenager who felt like an outcast in her own family. Being adopted surely didn't help, but it gave her hope that one day she'd find her real family and experience the love she had been missing. It wasn't that her family didn't love her. Her mom and dad did in their own way. The sister and brothers she'd known her whole life didn't treat her differently either, but Olivia always felt out of place, disjointed.

By the age of 17, she began to have dreams filled with encounters with him, the man who she knew as Fitzgerald. The dreams were sporadic at first. In them, he appeared usually when she was walking through a meadow. They'd strike up a conversation. He would ask her questions about her life, but she always felt like he already knew the answers to those questions. It was as if he wanted to hear her talk about anything and everything. So that's all they did, talk and walk. The dreams became more frequent. After a time, Olivia was sleeping more than she was awake. Sometimes she would take naps, forcing herself into a slumber just to see him. Her mother thought she was depressed and made her see the pastor regularly since she didn't believe in seeing a therapist.

Soon, Olivia knew she was in love with Fitzgerald. On one of their dream encounters, she kissed him without warning. Her heart soared when he kissed her back with as much passion as she gave. She professed her love to him and asked him to make love to her. His refusal, though gentle, didn't staunch the emotional blow to her young heart. She woke up vowing never to sleep again. After three harrowing days of trying to stay awake, she collapsed at school causing her mother to admit her to the hospital for a psychological evaluation. During those sleep filled days, Fitzgerald never made an appearance. Olivia mourned for him. When she returned home, she focused on finishing high school and finding a place far away to attend college. When she was accepted to Mills College in Oakland, she jumped at the chance to begin a new met Huey Newton and dived head first into the movement for liberation, enfranchisement, and self-determination for all oppressed black people. She grew an afro and became one of the founding members of the Black Panther Party.

Inexplicably, she began to see Fitzgerald again, this time while she was awake. She thought she was imagining the sitings until others began to notice him as well. And here he was tonight attracting attention to himself. Olivia made a decision. She would talk to him tonight and end this, whatever this was.

"Come on, Liv!" argued Kathleen, "you have to celebrate with us. Tonight was a success. Our success! Your success. How did you get all those reporters to show?"

"I know a guy whose roommate is friends with an intern at the Oakland Sentinel. He promised me he'd tell someone there to guarantee coverage. All I had to do was get my roommate to go out with him," explained Olivia. "I have to take care of something tonight. I'll meet you all at Freddie's later."

"Are you sure it doesn't have anything to do with that pale ass white guy glaring at you the whole time during the rally Liv? Are you sleeping with the enemy? Huey won't like that, you know," Angela said.

"What are you talking about, Ange? All those white men were reporters," said Elaine.

"This particular guy, dressed in all black, was there before the others came in. He had not one pencil, writing pad, or camera. He just stared at Olivia all night," said Angela.

Olivia didn't want to deal with Angela and her controlling ways tonight. She was always a little too interested in Olivia's business. It seemed cute at first, having a friend who cared that much. Soon, it became irritating. She had to squash it and fast so she went for the jugular. "Ange, you must be jealous. I know you dated a white man just last year. Besides, you're not too much darker than he is. Why are you bringing up Huey when he and I are not even dating anymore. It's all about the movement between us now," Olivia said, forcefully.

"Naw Ange, not you! You dated a white man just last year?" said Elaine before she chuckled.

Angela gave Olivia a cold stare. "You'll pay for that one, Olivia. I told you that in confidence," Angela bit out before snatching open the door and slamming it shut behind her.

They all looked at Liv and then at the door. "She'll come around. We will see you at Freddie's later, Olivia," said Kathleen with a puzzled expression on her face.

They said their goodbyes and left the auditorium walking to Angela's car.

"Liv, I hope you are carrying your piece," said Assata, "you never know who is out there. We became marks once we joined the BPP and especially now after the rally."

Olivia nodded and gave Assata a hug. Assata always wanted to make sure they were able to protect themselves. Olivia watched them drive away as she stood by her own car, an Impala. It had been a gift from her parents. She was sure it was a guilt gift. Her parents always felt responsible for her sense of alienation from the family. No matter how much she assured them it had nothing to do with them, they always blamed themselves. Tonight she was thankful to have her own ride home. She planned to call Angela tomorrow to make amends. In this movement, she knew that the sisters had to stick together.

She gave a reassuring tug on the 38 special under her blazer and began walking down the street and towards City Park. It was dusk dark and the streets were not very full on this Wednesday evening. When she reached the park, she saw a few people milling around. A couple pushed a baby in a stroller down a tree lined path leading to the parking lot. Two joggers zipped past her around the perimeter of the lake. Olivia purposely took the deserted path, hoping to draw him out.

As darkness fell, the sounds of nature in the park grew louder. Crickets and cicadas were competing with each other. Olivia walked further in. Am I crazy for trying to summon this...this person? Olivia walked a couple of feet further then stopped in her path. Where are you?

"Olivia, darling, you are quite the revolutionary," he said.

She shivered as his cool breath fanned against her ear.

Olivia spoke without turning around. "I can't believe you are here. I'm awake." Her biggest desire was to turn and look at him up close because shhe couldn't predict her reaction. Scanning in front of her, she spotted a bench beside a light post. She bid her feet to walk there. He followed her.

They sat down and she turned to look at his face illuminated by the soft dim light. "Why are you...how are you here?" she said softly.

"I am always here, darling. You are just now choosing to see me outside of your dreams. You can see me because you choose to see me," he answered.

She moved closer and touched his cheek. He leaned into her caress, turning his face to inhale her palm.

"I knew it. You are a creation of my imagination. I am delusional. I probably come from a long line of mentally ill people. My birth parents didn't have enough sense not to procreate, but they had enough sense to put me up for adoption so they wouldn't screw me up anymore than what is programmed into my genes," she said.

He smiled at her and shook his head. "You are so beautiful, Olivia and very much sane. I hate this vicious cycle, but I love getting to know you over and over again. Each time I fall deeper in love with you. Your speech was remarkable tonight. I enjoyed them all, but yours was the best, full of cogent arguments, energy, and passion. I'm sure you all signed up many more members," he said, adoringly.

"It's just like a delusion to ignore being called out, but I don't care Fitzgerald, I just don't care," she said before pressing her lips against his. He pulled her onto his lap. Olivia kissed him, her body igniting with the passion born of need for him. The coolness of his strong body was the perfect counterpoint to hers in strength and temperature. He was the hard to her soft, the ice to her fire, and the give to her take.

She pulled back first. "Fitzgerald, we should go. I want to be with you. We can't go to my place, but let's go to-" she said.

"I can't, darling. As much as I want to, I can't. It'll hasten your remembrance of me...of us. I don't want to lose you just yet," he said, ignoring her attempts to move away. "Let's talk about your political interests. I have some ideas that are more aligned with non violent social change..."

Olivia frowned at him. "What? I don't want to talk to you right now. I want you! What is this? I'm actually arguing with a hallucination. I'm going to get myself checked out out for real this time. Maybe then you will disappear!"

He held her still. All she could do was look into his eyes. Resting his hand over heart, he said," You know me. You know us." It pained him to say it because he knew she was ready to hear it and receive it. Hadn't he known that it was almost time? He fought with himself over whether or not he would come when she called him to the park. Whenever she sought him out like this, it was only a short time before she would remember. That recollection would surely hasten the end of her. Death would certainly come following the cruel design of the spell Maya had cast so long ago. But his love for her made it hard to deny her anything. She wanted him now. She wanted to know.

With each inhale and exhale of her breath, every beat of her heart, the fog began to lift from her consciousness. So caught in the whirlwind of remembrance of their lives together, she didn't notice the tears cascading over her cheeks or his attempts to kiss them away. In a short moment, she knew everything. Her memory was restored. She knew why he wanted to have some stupid discussion about non-violent social change instead of making love to her. He was her Fitzgerald and that knowledge meant it would all come to an end.

"How long do we have?" she whispered.

"I don't know. Not long. Hours. Days," he said.

"Can we go...can we at least try to get away?" said Olivia.

"Certainly," he said, half-heartedly. It was cruel. They never knew when or how the death blow would come.

He stood and set her on her feet next to him. It was unnaturally quiet and then he knew.

Three shots rang out. "You cunt bitch! I knew you were a fake. This is for Huey and the movement," a familiar female voice screamed.

As the bullets riddled her body, Olivia identified the voice as Angela's, but it didn't matter. She didn't feel betrayed or deceived as she collapsed and fell to the ground, a halo of blood forming around her. This death was part of a larger design, a narrative within which Angela was only a puppet.

Fitzgerald pulled her into his arms not bothering to destroy the assailant as was surely in his power. It wouldn't change the reality that Olivia was gone. He wanted to hold her until her body disappeared. Then it would start over again. The search for her through time and space until he found her again.

Present day

The Grantaspare Compound

Olivia stretched and flexed her limbs. Her body was alive and humming. She didn't know how many days had passed since she and her beloved got their fill of one another. Was it possible to make up for 7 lifetimes of separation? If it were, they tried. Day flowed into night as they explored each other's bodies delighting in each memory and new discovery. Making love on the ceiling had been the best. Knowing you could fall at any moment made every sensation more intense.

Her body and mind were peculiar, but she was getting used to them and their effects. She didn't have a new body and mind, but they were changed, improved. Is this what it meant being a hybrid vampire and witch or was it also that she held the memories from each of her lifetimes? Even so, she felt like a better version of herself especially now that she was with Fitzgerald for as long as they both had immortality.

Olivia was ready to see his family. She sensed they didn't want her there, but she knew if Fitzgerald wanted her with him there was nothing they could do. Despite all that had happened, she wanted to see her own family. She wondered when they would come calling, if they would come looking for her. Olivia assessed her appearance in the mirror. The black leggings, red tunic and moccasins made her think of Robin Hood.

"This will have to do until I can find some suitable clothes," she said to her reflection.

Olivia walked down the long corridor that extended from their bedroom. The sound of voices stopped her in her tracks. She moved to the big cherrywood door that led into the grand hall. Deciding to listen before entering, she wanted to understand whey the voices sounded angry. Was she the cause of this conflict?

"I'm here from my daughter. Tell me where she is and you won't have to contend with me nor the army I have outside," said Rowan.

"That sounds like a threat Rowan. I won't take it as such," said Victor. "Just leave and take your priesthood with you."

"Just because I'm not a blood sucker and a worshipper of the True Way you mock me, Victor. Don't underestimate me," Rowan sneered.

"Stop this, both of you," said Fitz.

Olivia smiled when she heard his voice. She couldn't help it even if the room was tense on the other side.

"Olivia is safe, Rowan. I know you think she is in danger here. She is not. The curse has been lifted and we are free to be together. We want to live in peace now Rowan," said Fitz.

"What have you done with my wife?" Rowan said icily.

"Why are you questioning my son? You need to leave our compound," Victor said, his eyes blazing red.

Sensing his father's simmering anger, Fitzgerald stood between them. "Father, please let me take care of this so it won't become untenable."

"That's right, Victor. Leave before the situation becomes a war," said Rowan.

After Victor left the room, Rowan sat down. "When are you going to tell my daughter that you plan to kill her mother," said Rowan, "I don't think even your love can overcome that."

"I've imprisoned her in a place she can never escape. Whether she chooses death or life is her own decision, but she will never have a chance to hurt Olivia again," said Fitz.

Olivia could no longer hold her tongue. She walked into the room. Rowan stood and rushed over to her. They stood facing each other for awhile before they hugged. "Father, it is good to see you. It's been an eternity," said Olivia.

"Yes, it has," Rowan said, "but I'm grateful you are no longer under the curse.

Olivia looked over at Fitzgerald. "Do you mind if we have some time together...alone?"

His expression said, no, but he said, "Yes, certainly, darling."

I love you, she said speaking to his mind.

I love you, he responded the same way.

When Fitzgerald left the room, Olivia sat next to her father. She laid her head on his shoulder. Her life was finally starting to feel complete. She needed to see her mother to make it so.

"So you have transitioned? You are a witch and a vampire. I never wanted to stand between you and Fitzgerald even from the beginning. I was angry that you fell in love with the son of the man whom your mother chose as her lover. But I am not here to cause conflict now. I'm here to warn you," he said.

Olivia lifted her head. "Warn me? Warm me about what? Yes, I do want to see my mother and I plan to convince Fitzgerald to let her go. She's no longer a threat to us after we take the oath," she said.

Rowan took her hands in his. "My daughter, she is not the threat. The Orishas gave me a vision. You are with child. It is the child that is the threat. I am here to warn you about the child you now carry," he said.

Dear Reader,

I appreciate your patience with me and this story. Wow, Can you believe Angela Davis killed Olivia? How can Olivia be with child? When did it happen? How is the child a threat? What will Fitz say when he finds out? Will Fitz agree to let Olivia see Maya? Will Fitzgerald's family accept Olivia? So many questions. Many updates needed to answer. All I can say is that this story practically writes itself going to places I didn't mean to take it :0). I'm just the conduit.

Until the cursor stops blinking and words appear...

~~Butterflypages~~