"Literally, what the fuck." Connie gaped at the abomination before him.

When Jean had told him that'd he was going to be Marco's other half, this wasn't quite what Connie had expected.

Jean had found the freckled soldier, missing an arm and half his face, lying abandoned against a house after the battle of Trost and after a brief downward spiral, as well as some noticeable character development, had approached Connie and had admitted that he had donated both himself, and Marco's remains to be experimented on by the survey corps.

Connie had asked how he'd done that, and Jean had stuttered something about pretending to be his fiancée, but no homo or anything.
And then, he'd disappeared for a while. Connie would've been lying if he'd said he'd noticed, but that was beside the point.
The point, was in fact, standing in front of him in all it's terrifying freckled glory.

The right side of it's body, bar the legs, was pale and lean. Everything else that Connie could see, was a bit more tanned and generously dusted with freckles.
Connie swallowed nervously, and forced himself to look at the half frowning, half smiling, face.

"Uh..." He began slowly, "congratulations Marco on becoming the first human-horse hybrid?"

Jean's side of the thing's (Jarco's? that worked better right?) face scowled at him, while Marco laughed, albeit nervously, and scratched the back of their neck.
There was an awkward silence, as Jarco shuffled their feet and Connie stared.

"So," Jean cleared their throat, "Marco's back."

"Yup, " Connie agreed.

"All in one piece," said Marco, "kind of."

Connie shook his head, "Yeah, when you were gone well, it got pretty bad... I reckon Jean was half the man he is now."

He allowed himself a little smirk at that. Marco shrugged their left shoulder, the joke apparently lost on him, but Jean's scowl deepened..

"Fuck off baldy," Jean grumbled.

Marco gasped and clamped their left hand over their mouth.

"Jean! You can't swear in my body!" he whined, ignoring Connie's snickers.

"Oh my god Marco, it's half my body too," Jean whinged.

"It's really only 30 percent your body actually," Marco corrected in his ever so calm voice, tapping their right foot as if to prove his point.

"Yeah, but you wouldn't even have that if I hadn't signed us up with Hanji!" Jean shot back.

Marco furrowed their brow, "How'd you get permission to do that anyway? You're not my relative."

"He told them you were his fiancée," Connie piped up.

Jarco's face flushed, and Jean tried to stutter out an excuse.

"I-it was just to sign up for the thing alright, no homo or anything!"

"C'mon Jean, it was a little homo," Connie said, grinning broadly, "like 50%"

"Oh my god Connie, shut the fuck up!" Jean snarled.

"Jean! Swearing!" Marco said, hand over their red face.

"Yeah Jean! calm down," Connie sing-songed, "I'm only being half serious"

Jean went to punch Connie, only to have Marco jerk back in an attempt stop him. They landed on with an ungraceful thud at Connie's feet.

"Man, Jarco, what kinda half-assed punch was that?" he said between gasps of laughter.

There was a non-committal grunt from the lump on the floor. Connie's grin stretched even further.

This was gonna be so much fun.