Howdy pardners! It's been a while, and I apologize for that. The reason? I'm lazy. Hadn't had any motivation to write in a while. Plus work. I've been getting more days and it's been making me exhausted all the time and yeah, it's not cool. Plus I'm trying to get another job, and I'm trying to get a car and move out. So I'm sorry, but here you go. Another chapter!

As always, I do not own One Piece, and that's probably a good thing, since my character and plot development are lacking.

And happy holidays to everyone!

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"So the two of you have been looking at maps because you want to go to a certain island?" Nami had her arms crossed over her chest, looking down at Sanji and I like a disappointed mother who just found her children up past their bedtime. And really, that's all this really was. Sanji and I had been sneaking into the library of the Sunny on the nights he had watch duty, hunched over books and parchments on the floor, him calling out names of islands in attempts to find one that sounded familiar in my mind. It had been going on for almost a week until we were caught red handed.

I gave a nod in response to Nami's question, reaching between my breasts and pulling out the Vivre Card with 'to freedom' scrawled on the corner. I passed it to her hands and smiled. "I'm trying to meet up with some friends."

She looked it over with a critical eye, and it looked like she wanted to refuse. Like she wanted to keep up with the peace we'd had the last week. But she had to have seen it in my eyes. My desperation and need to follow the Vivre Card and find the people waiting for me. So she hung her head, releasing a heavy sigh and tucking the slip or paper in between her own breasts with a definite nod.

"We'll change course in the morning." I couldn't contain my grin and the elated feeling of relief when she spoke those words and, like it was contagious, Nami and Sanji smiled as well. "It better be a quiet island, preferably with a shopping area."

Too happy with the result of this encounter, I nodded dumbly and couldn't stop grinning. "Even if it doesn't I'll go search for a treasure and bring it straight to you to make up for it." That settled everything else as an audible ka-ching sound followed the woman as she left the library, heading presumably back to bed. I turned to Sanji with excitement once we were alone once again, tears shining in my eyes and the grin still ever present on my face. "We're going!"

He gave a chuckle, clasping his hands over mine as I reached out to take his, squeezing tightly. "I told you she wouldn't have a problem." I shook my head and pulled one hand away, wiping at my cheeks as the tears slipped through, a whispery laugh fighting it's way through my lips as Sanji pulled me closer to him. My cheek leaned against his chest and his arms wound around my shoulders, holding me while I cried and smiled.

"I don't know why I'm crying." I admitted after a few minutes, face flushing with embarrassment. Pulling away, I gave another smile. "I'm really happy."

We cleaned up our mess in the library, putting everything back where we had got it from and then heading to the deck. Sanji went to the crow's nest, bidding me a good night and promising to make me some tea in the morning, for my terribly upset stomach. I contemplated going back to the sub and curling up with Nate once again, finding my spot under his arm on the small bed, but couldn't bring myself to leave the Sunny. Instead, I headed to the galley, intent on just sitting with a cup of warm coffee and resting my head on the table if I got too tired.

It was quiet. A nice, peaceful quiet that I allowed myself to lie down on the galley floor and cradle my coffee mug to my chest. There was no one awake, save myself and Sanji, at this moment. No one making unnecessary noise or fighting or simply talking. It was dead silent. Even the sea was calm, the waves lapping so gently against the side of the ship that we only rocked slightly.

The silence made my heart race. I was used to it not lasting long. Used to it being shattered eventually by the screams of terror or pain or anger. I could almost hear it as I laid on the floor. Could almost hear someone sobbing for the chance to see their son one last time before they died. To see the sun one last time. To not be stuck with needles and have foreign and sickening liquids pumped into their systems.

I could hear it. And curling into a ball, covering my head with my arms and whispering to myself that it wasn't real anymore. I was safe. It wasn't working. My heart was racing and my body was shaking. I was next. They were going to come to my cell and take me out next. I was going to get taken to that god forsaken room and I was going to be tied to that damn table and - -

The door opened and I curled further in on myself, my knee catching the side of the coffee mug and spilling the liquid onto the wooden floor of the galley. It was my turn. It was my turn. I didn't want this. If I fought, I could stall for only a moment. Only a few moments. And maybe they would see me as someone who wasn't worth the fight. Maybe they would move on. But then they would grab Howl. He was already so weak from the last session with the doctors. His limbs weren't cooperating anymore. I didn't want them to take him. I didn't want - -

"Mara!"

Sanji.

My eyes opened slowly and I met his, showing clear concern and worry as he leaned over me, his hands shaking as they laid on my arm. I was shaking. He gathered me up off the floor and moved me away from the hot liquid that had been spilled right beside me. He had calmed slightly, sitting me down in one of the chairs and moving to grab a rag, returning and setting it on top of the spill.

"Did you burn yourself?" I shook my head, eyes focused on the dark liquid seeping through the once-pristine cloth. "Are you okay?" Again, I shook my head. He squatted before me and took my hands in his. "Do you want me to walk to back to the sub?" I hesitated. If I went back, Nate would know something was wrong. No one was supposed to know something was wrong with me. Only Sanji. Only the one person I told almost everything to. So again, I shook my head. Sanji sighed and finished cleaning the mess. "You need to sleep. When's the last time you had a full night?"

That I could answer easily. "I haven't." He didn't waste time in grabbing me up, swinging me up in his arms and moving out of the galley. "What are you - -?"

"You can sleep in the crow's nest." He moved quickly, and I felt like we were being watched as he moved across the deck. Like someone was hiding in the shadows and keeping their eyes on our every move. It could, perhaps, be paranoia or nerves, but I couldn't shake the feeling, even when we were in the crow's nest and I was cocooned in a blanket, my head resting on a pillow while my feet were in Sanji's lap. "Is someone else awake?" I finally asked as my skin crawled.

Sanji shrugged, lighting a cigarette. "I yelled pretty loud. There's probably a few people awake." My face flushed. "I don't think anyone left their room, so you're fine." I nodded and he patted my knee. "Now sleep. Please, Mara. You need to sleep."

"I'll try."

"That's all I ask."

8888

A nice hot bath was just what I needed. Stress had been eating away at me for the past week, and I just needed a few hours alone to relax. Nami gave me some relaxing candles that she and Usopp had bought a while back, and promised that she would make sure no one came to disturb me. I stripped down quickly and slid into the steaming water with a groan. The towel that held my hair on top of my head was quickly become damp in the steam, water dripping down the back of my neck and causing me to break out in goosebumps.

It was nice.

In the last few days, after Nami promised to change course, we had gotten a call from Bartolomeo's crew. Apparently, some members of Kaido's crew had been on Dressrosa when they returned, and they hadn't even had the chance to dock because they were afraid they would be spotted. They had been sailing around near the island with Viola, attempting to wait them out, but no to avail yet. On top of that, Sabo had gotten a call from Dragon to check out something on an island not too far away from our current location, sending a News Coo with a Log Pose. He took off with some reassurance that he would come back as soon as he could and, if we saw Ace before he came back, to let him know that he was still alive.

I was actually relaxing. My body sunk low in the water, the towel wrapped in my hair up on top of my head falling apart against my neck, my breathing evening out. It had been a while since I was able to fully relax in a tub, and I almost cried at how wonderful it felt. Instead of that, I leaned my head back against the lip of the tub and closed my eyes, a smile finding its way to my lips.

For the first time in so long, things were going good. My rescue had turned into a shit storm with the landing on Dressrosa and the subsequent war against Doflamingo that I had somehow got in the middle of despite my reservations. Now at sea, even though we had gotten out of Dressrosa alive though battered, we had to travel with care for fear of running into Kaido's crew. And of course no one could forget about Big Mom and her crew, who had terrorized the half of the Straw Hats that went on to Zo while we had all been on Dressrosa.

After all of that, things were quiet. There was of course still the constant vigilance while we traversed the sea, but there was a calm that I don't think anyone had felt in a long time. Law's crew had lived for a long time in fear, wondering if their captain would ever return. And he had. He was missing an entire arm, but he was alive and he seemed happy, smiling and laughing more openly around everyone. I heard about what the Straw Hat's had been through from Robin, Franky, and Usopp while we were on Dressrosa. They had been in wave after wave of problems, starting when they reunited after two years to the aftermath of Dressrosa.

It felt like the only thing I really had to worry about now was getting to the island that the Vivre Card brought us to. To freedom. My eyes opened and I stared at the ceiling now, remembering the panic I had gotten myself into a few nights before when I had believed myself to be back in my cell in the facility. I frowned, wondering why no one had brought it up. Sanji had said some people might have woken up to his shouting of my name, and I had no doubt about it. I could feel them looking as us on our way to the crow's nest. But why hasn't anyone brought it up?

My thought were shattered when there was a knock on the door. A loud knock that had been the result of a fist literally punching into the wood. I jumped and didn't have enough time to react before the door had been slammed open and in sailed Luffy. He, being Luffy, slipped on the wet floor and slid into the side of the tub, his head ending up on the edge and his body flopped to the floor. My eyebrows rose as I looked at him, amused smile on my lips as he lifted his head up and gave that grin that filled me with happiness.

"Nami said to tell you we're stopping at this island to get some meat and -"

"I said to tell her when she was out of the bath, dumbass!" And in stormed Nami, face flushed with a growing anger and her fist descending onto Luffy's head without a second thought.

He whined and held the fresh lump on his skull. "You didn't even say that, Nami!"

I watched the two of them from my spot in the bath as they went back and forth for a moment. My smile grew more and more with each thing they said, adjusting the towel and leaning my head to the side. In that moment, I couldn't get over how happy I was for him. My baby brother, the one who had been just as outcast as I had been by our older brothers when we were kids, was no in the heart of a crew that loved him dearly. People were willing to lay their lives down for him without question. I couldn't even imagine what kind of place he had been in when he learned of my death, but I knew I had his crew and friends to thank for him getting through it, and I loved that.

So caught up in my thoughts, I didn't realize the bathroom had grown silent very quickly. Luffy was gone, but Nami remained. She sat on the edge of the tub, inspecting her nails as if she was bored. When I lifted my eyes to the side of her face, she looked to me from the corner of her eye and smiled.

"It's not the island, but we need supplies." She continued off what Luffy had told me earlier. I nodded, thinking that was all she wanted to tell me, but knew better once she stayed put on the edge of the tub and didn't move. I sunk lower into the water and blew bubbles with my mouth, waiting for her to continue. "Law's been asking about you?"

I raised a brow and lifted my head enough to speak without water coming into my mouth. "Okay…?"

"He was worried something happened to you." She rolled her eyes and grinned. "When I told him you were in the bath, he looked pretty relieved." My face was already heating, assuming where this conversation was going. "What the hell is that about?"

And there it was.

I sighed and ducked under the water, bringing my face back up into the cool bathroom air and wiping the water from my eyes and mouth. "How much did Robin tell you?"

"Robin? I have no idea what you mean." Though she said this, the smile couldn't stay off her face and she resulted to once again, inspecting her perfect nails and trying to hide her amusement. I groaned loudly and ducked further into the tub, now hiding my entire body beneath the water and refusing to come back up as I heard Nami's muffled voice from above. "Don't worry, no one else knows. She's still stuck in her bed until her back is done healing, we were talking, and then I guess it just kind of came out." I groaned again, beneath the water, and the bubbles popped above my head. Nami laughed. "You embarrassed about it?"

I lifted my head, eyes only coming out as I looked to Nami and glared. She was grinning like a fucking cat and I hated it. I lifted my head out completely so she could see the hard frown on my face. This made her laugh. "Of course I'm embarrassed, idiot. I was embarrassed when I told Robin." Nami shrugged and I sat up now, my upper body completely out of the water as I brought my knees up and rested my cheek against them. "So how much did she tell you?"

"Oh, just that you and the resident creepy doctor may or may not have shacked up a few times in that time you were travelling with him."

I snorted out laughter and shook my head. "Never had sex with him, if that's what you're thinking." She seemed disappointed by that, but kept smiling. "And no, I'm not going into detail with you."

"You went into detail with Robin!" I shrugged. Nami huffed and slid off the edge of the tub to sit on the floor, her back against the side of the bathtub and her head leaning back against the edge. I watched the top of her head as she stared at the ceiling, and could see the shift in her emotions from the little bit of her face I could see. "Are you okay?"

"With what?"

"Everything." She responded immediately, having been ready for my question. "With what you've been through the last two years. With being back in the pirate business even though you wanna quit. With everything between you and Law."

I smiled and shifted closer to Nami's head, leaning my cheek against the edge of the tub and facing her. She turner her head and looked back at me, her eyes showing the worry she had been hiding this whole time and trying to see if there was any indication on my face that would show her that I wasn't okay at all. That I was putting up a front this whole time and I was really dying on the inside every single day.

None of that showed though. I hid it well with a smile that morphed into a grin and nodded. "I'll be fine eventually."

"You know you can talk to us." Her voice was lower now, matching the now-somber mood of the bathroom. "Anyone on the crew. Law's crew. Your brothers. Just...don't hold it in." At that moment, I remembered hearing bits and piece of her past from Luffy and the crew, as well as remembering some stories I had heard about a human girl working with the Fish Men. She had been a part of Arlong's crew for a long time. She knew something about being a captive.

I sat up again and reached for the plug, draining the water and shaking my head. "I've been talking." I whispered, watching the water swirl down the drain with a focus that could be rivaled. Nami sat up and turned her head to watch me. "I'm not bottling everything in, so don't worry about it."

"Sanji knows about some of the past two years, sure, but does he know about Law?" I shook my head and frowned. What would Sanji do if I did reveal that I had done, uh, things with Law? Would be go ape shit? Would be accept it, like he had accepted everything I told him? "If you want to talk about that," Nami concluded, standing up and stretching on her way to the door. "You can come to me. Or Robin."

She left the bathroom just as there was a call from Usopp about an island getting closer and there was excited chatter from the deck. I got from the tub quickly, toweling dry and dressing in the clothes I had brought in earlier. I checked the time and frowned. My bath hadn't lasted as long as I had hoped it would, but it was good enough. We were at an island and thought I didn't admit it to anyone when I stepped out, I was just as excited. An island where trouble didn't lie in wait. An island we would all be able to wander around on without a psychotic Shichibukai looming around unsuspecting corners.

I shared a brief smile with Sanji as everyone got into groups to go out and explore. He shot me a wink and I gave him a thumbs up. Everything is fine. And I prayed, silently, that everything was fine.

8888

Luffy and I had been tasked with looking around the island, mainly because Luffy wouldn't be able to handle a task such as shopping without being distracted and wandering around anyway. Nami and Law decided that scoping the island out would be best, since this was the New World after all. We wandered around for a while, speaking of trivial things. He spoke to be about the things he had done during the two years with Rayleigh, how he learned all of the haki and was quite proud of himself. I was proud as well, smiling and patting his hatted head while he grinned with a dusty blush on his cheeks. Regardless of having been told already, I allowed him to tell me about the adventures his crew had gone on up until their arrival on Dressrosa. I didn't miss that he spoke of his rivalries with Big Mom and now Kaido with a grin on his face that was wider than before, and I knew he was excited to fight a Yonko soon.

It wasn't until we were moving along the beach after the long day, heading back to the Sunny where we could see Chopper and Carlos sitting on the railing playing a game, that the conversation took a turn.

"Are you and Sanji more than friends?" A not so innocent question phrased in an innocent way. I looked to Luffy quickly, furrowing my brows and opening my mouth to answer, but closing it immediately. So caught off guard, I didn't know what to say. He didn't look at me, instead he kept his eyes forward, hands behind his head as he walked, the picture of pure relaxation. "You two are always sneaking off in the middle of the night. And sometimes he holds your hands."

I shook my head lightly and smiled. Sanji and I had become quite close. He held my hands across the table when he prepared a meal in the galley and I spoke. He gave me comfort in the touch, but it was nothing more than a friend helping a friend. "No Lu, we're just friends."

He hummed thoughtfully, his forehead pinching in thought and his mouth puckering. "It's okay." I raised a brow and he finally looked at me. His face held the same seriousness it held after Nate slapped me and he came to comfort me in the bathroom. He was acting grown. "If you and Sanji are more than friends, I'm okay with it."

"What is it you think we're doing?" As soon as the question left me mouth, I regretted it. Luffy had no filter. He didn't feel shame or embarrassment.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise to hear him say, "Having sex."

My face heated. Not at the mention of sex, because hey, sex was sex. No, it was because my little brother was questioning my sex life in the most nonchalant way possible. If this had been Ace or Sabo I was speaking to, the conversation would be going much differently. "We're not having sex, Lu." I let out a nervous laugh and shook my head to clear it. "Seriously, we're just friends. He's...helping me."

Intrigued, Luffy cocked his head to the side. "With what?"

"Getting over everything that happened to me." I was just as serious as he was now, and we came to a stop a few yards from the ship, facing one another on the beach. "I've been talking to him about everything, and he's, well, there for me."

Luffy nodded solemnly and crossed his arms over his chest. "Good."

"You're not mad that I'm not telling you?"

He shrugged and I found myself smiling. "I'm just glad you're not holding it in and hurting yourself." Though he said this, there was still a look of suspicion on his face that didn't completely go away. I opened my mouth to comment, but the moment of seriousness was over in the snap of a finger when his eyes caught something behind me and his face split into a grin. "SANJI BOUGHT MORE FOOD!"

I turned and watched Luffy bound to Sanji, carrying grocery bags with the help of Tino, Killian, and Usopp. "If you get into any of these bags you won't get dinner!" Sanji's clearly empty threat, because he would never deny someone food, fell onto Luffy's ears and the boy stopped quick, bowing in sarcastic apology to Sanji and getting kicked over the top of his head as a result. With a small grin, I wandered to the group of men and grabbed the bags from Usopp's arms.

"What are you -?"

"Go play with Luffy, he's being annoying." Okay, I was lying. He wasn't being annoying at all. Usopp, however, didn't doubt it for a second and challenged his captain to a game of tag that began almost as soon as the words left his mouth. Beside me, Killian bumped his shoulder into mine and gave me a smile. "What?" I asked when he didn't look away from me.

He shook his head and shrugged. "Just never thought I'd see your face again, luv." I rolled my eyes and shoved my shoulder into his in return. "It's good to have you back, darling."

Tino shoved his brother forward with his own eye roll, but gave me a similar smile as they went to the sub to put their crew's groceries away. Sanji and I headed up to the Sunny, greeting Carlos and Chopper with smiles and heading into the galley. As soon as we were alone and our arms were free, Sanji turned to me with a serious and worried expression.

"What's wrong?"

As soon as I smiled, his worried countenance turned confused. "Luffy thought we've been having sex." Now his face was blank as he no doubt processed my words. He drew back and looked absolutely bewildered.

"He -?"

"Yup. Asked me a few minutes ago actually. I told him we weren't, but I don't really think he believes me." I shook my head and shrugged. "Oh well, not like he's gonna go around gossiping."

Sanji shook his head ruefully and turned to start putting everything away. I caught his smile when I moved to assist in the task. "If Nami hadn't been in on our plan, she would surely think the same thing." I nodded thoughtfully, unlocking the fridge and putting some meat in. "That would be bad."

"She would tell Robin." I agreed, and we both knew Robin would tell Franky, who would blurt it out loudly without a second thought. "Luffy doesn't care though. He doesn't even think of sex as being an important thing." He hadn't when we were kids and we all got 'the talk' from Makino, and he sure as hell didn't care about sex now. There was a part of me that wondered if Luffy had ever had sex, but I pushed that from my mind with a shudder almost instantly.

Everything was put away and we sat in silence. Sanji made tea and then sat across from me at the table, both of us sipping from our cups without really thinking about anything. At least, I wasn't thinking of anything. Just enjoying the silence.

"Mara?" I looked to Sanji and saw the thoughtful look and wondered what he had been thinking about. "When we get to your friends, are you gonna leave for good?" I furrowed my brows and frowned. "I mean, is that what you all had planned when you were locked up in the facility?"

"Nope." I shook my head and thought back to all the planning that had gone into getting everyone out and laughed a little. "We all actually decided we would go our separate ways. Make sure we were all alive, and then never see each other again." He looked confused, furrowing his brows and frowning when I grinned. "Seeing each other all the time would just remind us of what we had all been through. And not everyone was friends there. I can count the number of people in there that I trust with my life on one hand. The others? They'd probably kill me or turn me in to save their own skin."

"So…?"

"So I want to make sure those few that I trust are alive and well." I sipped my tea and nodded. "And the others, I want to make sure they made it out. They may throw me under the ship, but they're all human, and they don't deserve to get caught again."

It wasn't long after that Sanji started on dinner. We sat in comfortable silence while he worked that was only disrupted by Nami, busting into the galley wildly and rushing to my side. "Mara, we got bad news!" She held open her palm and I felt my blood go cold. Sanji moved to my side, looked at what had been presented, and placed his hands on my shoulders.

Sitting in Nami's palm was the Vivre Card I had handed her days before. Only now, it looked different. The words To Freedom were now nearly gone as the burning edges ate away at them. Wisps of smoke rose from the corners, bringing the smell of burning paper with them. My hand went to my mouth and I tried to think straight.

"What do you want to do?"

Things are going to get good after this. I promise you that. It may be a while until I update again, mainly for the reasons I stated in the beginning, plus I'll have to hash everything out to make sure I keep up with a plan. That will help me write quicker and update faster.

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I love you all and I'll try to update soon!

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