Hey guys! I just thought of this idea. I was very surprised how fast Hiccup forgave everyone in the village for how they acted towards him, so I thought I would write a little one shot. This takes place a few days after Hiccup woke up from the battle of the Red Death. WARNING: Angst and feels awaits.
So...here it is!
A World Full of Fear
Hiccup sat next to the fire, drawing a picture of a dragon in his notebook. Gobber was helping me set the table and prepare for dinner.
Hiccup looked up from his notebook, those beautiful emerald green eyes studying the scene in front of them. They sparkled with energy, just as Val's eyes had once done.
"I'll do it, Gobber." Hiccup said, closing his notebook and shoving it in a secret pocket of his vest. He stood up to his full height, which wasn't very tall for a child his size, and walked over to Gobber.
His prothstetic made an unfamiliar clack noise as he walked on the wood floor. Each step reminded me of what I had done, of what I had done to him.
"Are you sure?" Gobber said, looking at Hiccup's small, beaten up frame. "You look like your about to collapse."
Hiccup gave him a tired sigh. "I'm fine."
Gobber shrugged, and then moved over to tend to the fire.
Hiccup grabbed three of our deer skin place mats and set them in their correct spots. Then he placed the metal utensils in their appropriate spots. He looked up to one of the higher cabinets, where we kept the plates. A viking child of his age should be able to reach it, but Hiccup was naturally short.
He reached his thin arms up, stood on the tips of his toes, but it wasn't enough. He huffed. I could practically see the gears working in his head, trying to solve the problem at hand.
"I'll get it," I said. I was currently cutting up the bread.
"No, no," Hiccup shook his head, "I'll get it."
"Maybe I'll lift you up." Gobber said playfully. Hiccup sent him a glare.
"Don't make fun of me for being short," Hiccup said, "I can't do anything about it."
Gobber laughed. "I'm just messing with you, Hiccup."
Hiccup hopped up on the counter. He balanced himself on his knobby knees, and then reached up towards the plates.
"Hiccup, be careful." I said. I could just see it now: Hiccup tumbling down, hitting his head on the floor, blood...
"Aren't I always?" Hiccup said as he grabbed three wooden plates.
"He's a stubborn one, I'll give you that." Gobber whispered to me.
"I heard that!"
We both laughed as Hiccup gave us meaningless glares. Then, those beautiful green eyes flooded with panic, as he started to loose his balance. He screamed as he came crashing down, the three plates along with him.
"Hiccup!" I called, fear flooding my brain, the bread forgotten. "Hiccup, are you all right?"
Suddenly, a skinny arm popped up behind the table. His hand curled into a thumbs up. "I'm good!"
I sighed, rushing towards his side. He was sprawled out on his back, the three plates piled on top of him.
"Oh, Hiccup." I said as I grabbed him under the arms and effortlessly lifted him to his feet- er, foot.
I picked up the plates and placed them on the table. I started to check him for injuries, but he backed away. "What are you doing?" He asked me, his eyes full of confusion.
"Making sure you aren't hurt." I said. His eyes were full of confusion, and then I realized that I've never really done that before. Checked him.
"Oh," He started at the floor, "Well, I'm fine."
I smiled at him and ruffled his soft, chestnut hair affectionately. "That's good to hear."
Hiccup starred at me like I had crabs crawling out of my nose. I had never shown him affection. I never felt the need for it.
I knelt by his side, and even though I was kneeling, I was still taller than him. "Why didn't you just let me get them for you?"
"Because I wanted to do it myself." He whispered, "I always have." His face was bright red, and he was shaking, as if he was expecting me to yell or hit him.
He grabbed the plates and put them in their correct spots. I awkwardly went back to cutting up the bread.
Gobber coughed, letting us know he was still there. "So, did you here about Spitlout?"
I sighed. My brother was a wild case. Just like his son. "What did he do now?"
I listen carefully as Gobber told the story of how Spitlout somehow lost an entire days worth of catch, although as chief I should have cared, but my fatherly side was controlling myself tonight. All I could think of was Hiccup, who was silently waiting in the corner of the room, waiting for dinner to be finished.
He was trying to blend into the shadows, trying to become almost invisible.
"I don't know how great this will turn out," I announced as I looked over to a pot that was boiling over the fire. We were having soup for dinner, and I was not a very good cook.
"What am I suppose to do again?" I asked. Gobber shrugged.
"I'll do it." Hiccup said as he quietly walked from his spot in the corner and walked over to me. He took the spoon from my hand and started to stir the pot. Then, he moved over to the counter and started washing and then cutting up the carrots, potatoes, celery, and chicken.
He then swiftly placed all of the cut up vegetables and chicken into the pot. He stirred it some more, and then add more wood to the fire.
"Since when do you know how to cook?" I asked him.
"Well, it was other I learn or I starve." He said, shrugging.
My heart clenched as he said those words. I hadn't even provided food, for my own child.
"Give it a few more minutes and it should be done." Hiccup said, quietly. He placed the spoon on the counter. I served the bread on a plate, and within a few minutes, we each had a serving of the soup.
"This is really good." Gobber said. "He's better than you ever were."
Hiccup's turned red and he gazed down at his soup, not meeting anybody's gaze.
I chuckled, and then gently patted Hiccup on his bony back. "That's my boy."
Hiccup started up at me in amazement. I had praised him, but the reaction on his face was as if I gave him a present he had been wanting for a long, long time.
"Hiccup," I said, as I watched him play with his food.
He looked up. "Yes, sir?"
"You're not eating." I said, biting back the urge to tell him that he didn't have to call me "sir".
He shrugged. "Just not hungry."
"Yeah, now that you've been eating breakfast." Gobber said as he slurped his soup.
"You haven't been eating breakfast?" I asked, concerned. Hiccup glared at Gobber, and then nervously looked at me.
"Well..."
"Now that you don't have to miss sleep and avoid-"
"Gobber!" Hiccup said.
"Missing sleep? Avoid who? For the love of Odin someone tell me!" I had put my spoon down, my full attention on Hiccup.
I took Hiccup's small, fragile hand in mine, but he quickly drew back. "Tell me, Hiccup." I said, brushing his bangs out from his eyes. He tensed, waiting for someone to yell or hit him.
I place my hand on the back of his neck, feeling the muscles. "You're so tense.." I whisper. I message the muscles slowly, but Hiccup is not used to my touch. He tenses even more.
"Hiccup, if you won't tell him, I will." Gobber said, licking his spoon. "It's time he knows."
Hiccup sighed. "Alright." he turned to me, and took a long, deep breath. "I have to wake up an hour earlier than the village, so I can avoid..." Hiccup closed his eyes, "the other teens."
"Why do you want to avoid them?" I asked, concern coating my voice.
"Because they like to..." Hiccup's voice broke, and he bit his lip. "They like to hit me. And.. Just play rough."
Gobber grunted. "It's not so much as "playing", Hiccup."
Hiccup sighed tiredly. "They, they like to beat me." He looked at his knees, not looking at me.
"There it is." Gobber said. He leaned back in his chair, a smudge look etched across his face.
"How long?" I asked Gobber.
"Since I was seven." Hiccup answered. My blood boiled at the thought of the other teens beating Hiccup until he's black and blue, begging for them to stop.
Then, the dams broke.
"I have to miss breakfast, because if I eat breakfast, there might be a chance they might be there, or that by the time I finish they might be up. So, I have to sneak to the forge. I get up before the sun is, so that's not the hard part. Then I have to wait until everyone has gone asleep to go home so they won't see me. I can't eat dinner, because they'll be there. Sometimes I can sneak in the back and eat from the trash, well, the leftovers. But most of the time there isn't any. I have to wait until midnight, because that's when the night patrol starts. I have to juggle between them as I run home. Then, I get up at four in the morning. And repeat. I can't get caught by them, I can't. The last time I was late getting up..." Hiccup shivered and then tensed, as a harsh memory went through his mind.
"Hiccup," I said in utter shock. This was his life. Running from his own people. Living in fear. "That's why you're so skinny." I said, placed one of my large hand across his stomach. He squeals in surprise, not expecting the sudden contact.
"Well, I'm naturally skinny, but... Dad I have no choice! I have to starve myself, because I know I'll get beaten to a pulp if I go out for food!" He had tears in his eyes.
"I'm sorry for being so weak." The tears leaked out of those green eyes, full of pain and embarrassment.
I didn't even think twice: I pull my little boy into my arms. I press him into my chest, resting my chin on the top of his head. He sobbed into my chest, repeating over and over again how sorry he was for being weak. And I just keep whispering to him that it's ok, that he's ok.
"One time," he said through tears, "They punched me in the face and shattered my cheek bone." I winced as he dissolved into more sobs. "They love to break my bones. And hear me scream." He sobbed even harder.
"Hush, baby." I cooed, rubbing his back.
I held him closer and rocked him gently as he cried and cried and cried. He told me stories of them breaking his fragile bones, kicking him in the stomach, taunting him, and purposely staying out late so Hiccup couldn't go home, couldn't eat.
It made me sick to stomach. All of those years, I just added to the torment. I just added the pain. I couldn't image what it would be like to live in hell for your entire life, no escape, nobody on your side. To be afraid of everything. To want to stop living.
"I'm so sorry." Hiccup sobbed, "That I'm not what you want."
I started to tear up, but I pushed them back. My boy needed me to be strong.
"You are everything that I want." I said to him, as I cradled him against my chest, "everything, and more."
He paused his sobbing feast, and looked up at me. His eyes were glassy from all of the tears, and his face was red and puffy from all of his crying. But, there was something else in his eyes: hope.
"R-really?" He asked, looking up at me. I smiled lovingly down at him.
"Of course." I gently brought him up to me and kissed his tear stain cheek. I nuzzled him close. His tears were salty, and they didn't stop coming, even after I had told him countless times that I loved him, and that I couldn't have had any better of a son.
Suddenly, he started to go quiet. After a few minutes of silence, I had noticed that his breathing had evened out, and his tears had stopped. He had cried himself to sleep.
I smiled lovingly at my little boy in my arms, cradling him as his light pink lips parted and his front teeth were shown. He was fast asleep, exhausted from crying and all of the weight he had to carry on his small, fragile shoulders.
He looked so innocent, sleeping in my arms. He was completely relaxed, long, black eyelashes framing the bottom part of his eyelids as he slept soundly. Some of the red was disappearing, Hiccup returning to his usual color.
I gently traced his countless freckles with my index finger.
"Now you know."
I practically jumped as I heard Gobber's voice. Between the poor weeping boy in my arms and all of his problems, I had forgotten he was there.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"He begged me not to tell you. He didn't want to seem weak." Gobber took a swing from his drink.
"But, he's a very strong boy." Gobber said, as he tapped his temple. "Up here. Stronger than anyone I've ever met."
I nodded in agreement as I gazed down at my little boy. "Aye, you speak the truth." I looked over at Gobber. "Hand me a damp cloth."
Gobber stood, wetted a rag, and handed it to me. I gently cleaned off of Hiccup's tear stained face.
I gazed down at my little baby boy, amazed that he had lasted this long. I smiled proudly. Yes, he would do well. Because he was strong.
"It'll take him some time to get used to it all." Gobber said, reaching over and brushing Hiccup's damp bangs from his eyes.
"He's been living in fear all of his life. He still is unfamiliar with love. So, just take it slow."
Gobber placed a hand on my shoulder. "I should leave you two." I nodded as he left the house.
I peered down at Hiccup's beautiful, now peaceful face. His color had returned. I gazed down at him lovingly as he stirred in my arms.
"Hush, Hiccup." I cooed. "You're alright." I kissed his forehead as he settled down even further in my arms, nuzzling his head into my shoulder.
Fear was something he had only known. Love was something he has never experienced. But, I will protect him. His world will be flooded with love. And affection. And everything in between.
I just hope that fear hasn't taken over completely, and that the wounds are too deep to heal.