First 'Sherlock' attempt.

This idea came to me when I rewatched The Hobbit DOS.

I know there are many Sherlock/Hobbit fics out there but I thought I give it a try

-1-

"This bloody idiot" muttered John angry. Sherlock, his flatmate and self-declared Sociopath, had used one of their teapots (John favourite) for one of his experiments again. John did not have a problem with Sherlock using their microwave to store eyeballs or other body parts but John's teapot was off limits.

"Sherlock" yelled John and took the other teapot from the counter. It had been a gift by one of John's aunts and it had kittens on it. Why couldn't Sherlock use this one?

Groaning John yelled once more "Sherlock" but instead of answering John heard that his flatmate started to play the violin and seemed to ignore John.

"Bastard" said John and fixed himself a cuppa. When it was finished he took a huge sip despite the heat and headed to the living room.

Sherlock stood with his back to him and still played his violin.

"Is it too much to ask" started John annoyed "that you use to the other teapot and not mine?"

Sherlock stopped playing but did not turn around. "The one with the kittens? Don't be stupid John, I can't use that for my experiments. It's hideous."

"Sherlock…" John started but was cut off by a coughing fist. Sherlock wheeled around and on his face a look of concern.

"John!" he said and walked over to his friend to take his cup of tea way. "Tell me you did not use one of the cups near the sink."

John glared at him and said between coughs "What did you with them?"

He saw that Sherlock said something but he could no longer hear him. His coughing got worse by the second and soon the felt his knees give away and he fell into darkness.

The first thing John was conscious about was the small of horse.

'What had Sherlock done now' his groggy mind asked.

"Old Myrtle sure likes you" said a voice next to him which he did not recognize.

He opened his eyes and found himself nose to nose with a horse.

"Oh jeez" he yelled and quickly got to his feet. In front of him stood a brown small horse and looked at him with hurt in its eyes.

"What the…" he started but a chuckle interrupted him.

"Don't scare our bugler old girl" said the voice again. The voice belonged to a man who sat on a large rock, they were outside on a field John realized, and looked amused.

"Who… What is going on?" asked John bewildered.

"Old Myrtle wanted to wake you up" the man said and pointed at the horse. "Quiet right to do so because I think Thorin wants to get going soon."

"Going where and who the heck is Thorin?" John asked confused but then it dawned to him. "Oh this is Sherlock! One of his little experiments again is it?"

He began pacing back and forth in front of the strange man, who was clearly part of Sherlock's homeless network by his looks, and the horse. He muttered all kinds of curses before he stopped dead in his tracks. He looked down at himself and found that he was dressed in strange cloth. A dark red jacket over a green vest with a light shirt. Instead of his jeans he wore brown cotton trousers which ended just by his knees and he wore no shoes but his feet were no longer his. They were huge and hairy.

"I am going to kill him" John said angrily and then started shouting at the blue sky above. "You hear that! I am going to kill you Sherlock!"

The stranger was now standing and he approached John with a look of concern.

"Are you alright Bilbo?" he asked softly as if he was talking to a scared animal.

"Bilbo?" John said enraged. "You know bloody well who I am! You have had your fun with me now."

The man's eyes turned huge and he said "I am going to get Gandalf."

"He calls himself Gandalf now" John shouted after him as the stranger left in a hurry. "What a dumb alias is that?"

"And you" he added and pointed at the horse. "You are going to tell me where I am."

The horse just looked at him and then neighed. Figuring that the horse was really just a horse John huffed and turned around to study his surroundings. He was in the country but he was not sure if it even was still Britain. All around him were hills and small forests. In the distance he even saw a hill with a ruin on top.

'Oh Sherlock will pay for this' he thought furiously.

"It seems there is a problem" suddenly a voice John knew very well said behind him. "At least that is what Bofur here told me."

With an evil and mad grin John turned around and said "Of course there is a problem Mycroft!"

For it really was Mycroft Holmes who stood behind him but he was dressed in a grey robe and instead of an umbrella he carried a long wooden staff. He was also 3 heads taller than John.

"That growing spurt can't be healthy" John said flabbergast.

"Sorry?" Mycroft said and an eyebrow rose behind the hairline. This was such a typical gesture of the eldest Holme's brother that John started to laugh but it was more angry than happy.

"What? You wear stilts under your robe? The mighty Mycroft on stilts. Is the government in danger or is Sherlock blackmailing you, for you to wear that?" John said and soon found himself shouting. "Of all the times you could work with your brother you choose this? And here you had me thinking you were above stuff like this."

Mycroft just looked at John mildly irritated. The strange man, who was also way smaller than Mycroft and carried a huge pickaxe, leaned to the taller man and whispered loudly "I said he was behaving strange."

"You did" Mycroft agreed but kept his eyes on John. "Bofur go and tell Thorin, Master burglar and I are going to catch up with him later. Tell him also to stay on the road and not to go into the woods. Understand?"

Bofur nodded and said "Of course Master Gandalf."

When he was out of sight Mycroft said to John "You should have told me that the encounter with the trills shook you like this Master Baggins."

"What Trolls?" asked John, now extremely annoyed. "Look Mycroft. You and Sherlock had your fun. Can you please stop now?"

"Gandalf is the name they call me. Not Mycroft" Mycroft said and looked down at John. "There is also no Sherlock. Only Smaug who you agreed helping destroy.

John sighed defeated and sat down next to the horse.

"You have come too far to turn back now" said Mycroft in a way which meant 'Get a grip on things you idiot."

John knew he would have to play along to Sherlock's game if he ever wanted to get out of it. Sometimes he wanted to skin the consulting detective alive.

"Right then… Gandalf" said John mockingly. "Let's get going or we won't catch up with this Thorin guy."

To be continued...