Alin – Romania

Tsvetan – Bulgaria

Vuk – Serbia

Liviu – Transylvania

Ion – Moldova

Tatjana – Macedonia

My life was a bit of a sham.

Growing up, I was never really the perfect child. I would always get into trouble from my mother for doing silly little things. However, when I had such an absent father, I really didn't understand any better. My older brother would always bully me and make fun of me, and school wasn't the best. The only person that I really ever liked was my best friend, Tsvetan. He'd always keep me in check and make sure that I was okay. Even when I was twelve years old and my mother was pregnant again, he still stood by me when I was scared that she was going to give more attention to the baby and forget about me.

If anything, he was a much better brother to me than my actual brother was. You see, Liviu tried his best with me, but I never truly felt a connection with him. Maybe it was because he was always out partying and getting drunk from the age of 14. Or maybe it was because he was jealous of the attention I got from our mother. I never really knew. Needless to say, as soon as he hit 18, my mother kicked him out and he moved out to find an apartment with a few friends. Left on my own, it was hard.

My mother liked to drink wine, but sometimes she'd drink so much and pass out on the couch. My little brother, Ion, was only a toddler when she got into this habit, and I had to make sure he was okay and look after him. Sometimes I would cry because I couldn't deal with it, and even then, Tsvetan told me he would be there for me. I would call him every night it would happen, and on occasion, he would come around and help me out, and after we were done, I would bid him goodbye and thank him. However, sometimes he didn't leave, and got too tired, so I would set up a bed on the floor.

There was one occasion where he slept in the same bed as me because he was that tired. I would have set up a bed for myself—but he put me in a vice-like grip and wouldn't let me go. I didn't know he cuddled when he slept, but I decided to take it. It wasn't that bad, I suppose. He was rather comfortable to lie on, but I couldn't help but feel something weird in my stomach on that night. I assumed it was something I ate, but I still question it to this day.

Anyway, that's the introduction to my life. That was my childhood. Now, I am a 22 year old man fresh out of college, ready to start my life. Naturally, Tsvetan asked me to move in with him once we had all moved back home, and things seemed normal. I was quite happy to be living with him, who wouldn't be?! He was such a great friend! We had to find another roommate, but an old friend, Vuk, said that he wouldn't mind staying with us, since he was in the same situation as us.

Each day passed by with ease, and I could quite gladly say that I was happy. My mother had gotten better while I was at College, and she was looking after Ion better now. He was ten years old! They grow up so fast, it makes me so happy. My brother still didn't really talk to Mother, but he had gotten in contact with me again while I was in College. It turns out he was living with a Hungarian guy and a few others. Apparently they did some shady stuff together, but he's come out of the other end and his life is on track.

I suppose it was really turning out well for everyone, wasn't it?

It was a relief, really. I'd always wanted things to turn out this way. It felt like things were going great for everyone, and I tried to convince myself that it was worth all the tears, and that I could finally spend my life in peace, living with Tsvetan, my best friend. We really were inseparable, and we did everything together. In the mornings he would wake me up and tell me to go to work, and Vuk would always be in the middle of us, usually to argue, but he wasn't that bad either. He wasn't as close to the two of us as we were with each other, but that's because me and Tsvetan had been friends since we were children.

We would spend Friday nights drinking beer and talking about random stuff. Vuk would complain about girls he was trying to hit on, Tsvetan would talk about work, and I would listen to Tsve and sometimes cuddle up to him, depending on how drunk I was.

We didn't really have many visitors. Sometimes my brother would come and visit and he'd tell me about how his life was going. Despite our teen years, I feel like I was much closer to Liviu than I used to be, and that made me feel a bit more at comfort. However, I felt like no one could really replace Tsvetan. He was much more important than my brother ever was, he was the one that supported my throughout my teen years and made sure that things were okay.

I really enjoyed spending time with Tsvetan anyway. Most nights, Vuk wouldn't be home because he did late shifts, other than Fridays, so it would just be me and Tsve. We'd usually watch TV and talk about how ridiculous celebrities look.

On a Monday morning, he would wake me up differently, because those were the worst days to get up. Sometimes he'd drag the covers off of me, sometimes he'd tickle me until I'd need to pee and then would have to get up. Sometimes he would lick my face or do something weird. But that was normal, right? That's what best friends did, surely. I mean, that's all that I and Tsvetan were. We were best friends, and I wouldn't change it for the world! We knew everything about each other. We'd seen each other naked, we'd gotten changed together so many times, we'd share a bed too many times to count, and we even knew each other's deepest darkest secrets.

If he was feeling sad, or I was feeling sad, we always had a way to cheer each other up. He would bring me homemade yogurt and cuddle me until I felt better, and I would take him out to dinner whenever he wasn't feeling so great, and he'd cheer up immediately once I started to laugh and joke with him.

He really was the light of my life.

Something changed, though.

Tsvetan started to go out more often, and I found that the morning calls to get me out of bed in the morning started to decrease, and every time he did it, he lost enthusiasm. I really thought I'd done something wrong, or made him mad, and I was going to approach him and ask him what was wrong. However, I held back, and I really wish that I didn't hold back.

I noticed he would be on the phone all the time and walk out of the room when he was on the phone. He also seemed like he was avoiding me completely, and I felt something hurt on the inside. I couldn't quite put my finger on it.

Finally, one day, when I was sitting on the couch, idly watching the news, Vuk burst into the room with a bra in his hand. I asked him what he was doing with a bra, but before I could answer, Tsvetan came through the door. Him and Vuk had private words, and the next thing I knew, Vuk was in the floor in pain. I helped him, naturally, and asked Tsvetan what the hell was wrong with him.

I asked him if I'd done something to upset him, or if it was because Vuk was living with us. However, after a bit of persuasion, he finally came out with it.

…

"I have a girlfriend."

My whole world stopped for a moment. Did I hear that correctly? He had a girlfriend? ... I had never felt such a pain in my chest before, that when I first heard the words, I had to stop myself from clutching my chest. A girlfriend...

I had never really… thought about girls. Maybe my mother had put me off the idea, considering the way she treated me and my brothers whilst we were growing up.

"Her name is Tatjana, I think you know her actually. She went to school with us, remember? Heh! I'll bring her over tomorrow and you can see her." He gives a small smile and pats my head gently, and I try to stay strong and smile it through. I did know who he was talking about, I remember Tatjana. She was really pretty; she had long brown hair, lovely brown eyes, and beautiful tanned skin. In school, she was quite popular, and she was really nice to me. I never would have expected Tsvetan to… date her.

After he was done, he walked out again, saying he was going to see her. Vuk finally pulled himself from the floor, before frowning lightly at me.

"Alin, are you okay? Y'look like you've just been shot in the chest or somethin'."

I looked over to Vuk with a smile, but the corners of my mouth were shaking. I felt a few tears fill my eyes, and I couldn't keep it together now that Tsvetan was out of the apartment. I tried to get to my feet, and go to my room, before something stopped me. Vuk grabbed my arm and span me around to face him.

"Alin, I asked you a question." His voice has a hint of concern in it, and for once, he drops his tough guy act.

I couldn't do anything, I felt like I was going to die on the spot. However, before I could tear up and sob uncontrollably, I managed to utter out a sentence that I would regret for the rest of my life,

"I… I-I don't want Tsvetan to be with her… I-I want him to be with me."

The Serb just let out a sigh and pulled me into a tight man-hug, before muttering lightly, "You're an idiot, you know that? You should have told him earlier."

I nodded lightly, my hands clenching around his shirt, "I know that, Vuk. I just… I never realized. Not until today. Why didn't I realize?"

Vuk shakes his head, before speaking up again, "If you want him, then go after him."

…

He has a point. I should win him back. I can't wallow in self-pity. As much as it hurts, and as jealous as I am, I need to win him back. I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't, I feel like either way, I'm going to lose him as a friend, so I might as well go down fighting.

But the thoughts won't go out of my head. The thoughts of him sleeping with another person, the thoughts of him telling her that he loves her. It really hurt. Why couldn't he do that with me? I wanted him to do that with me.

Tsvetan, I want you.

Why did you have to get a damn girlfriend?!