A/N: In less than two weeks, All Things End will officially be a decade old. It's hard for me to believe it's been that long, and I'm probably insane to keep working on a fan fic like this after so much time, but after putting so much work into it already, I'm just going to keep trucking along. I'm happy that so many of you have continued to stick with this story through the years.

Chapter 112: Living As One

Courage woke up lying in a corner of the empty room. His arms were...wrapped around himself again, and he had not been in that position when he had first curled up to take a nap. Even now he could feel Computer's warm, comforting affection. Along with his happiness at having finally, against all odds, reunited with Courage. His presence as an invading entity was so overbearing that it was impossible not to feel just how much he, well...

...There was a very big elephant in the room that neither of them particularly wanted to acknowledge while they were stuck in the same body.

Since it did not exactly take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on here, and since Courage had long suspected that his own feelings were not one sided, he had come to the decision that as soon as they were in a less...uncomfortable position for something like this, he was going to finally talk to Computer about, well, everything,and discuss with him where they were going to go from here. He was certain that his own feelings were as much on full blast in this state as Computer's were. His companion must have put two and two together by now. It was just too obvious at this point for them to keep ignoring it forever.

He had to admit though, sharing the same body with Computer was turning out not to be as big of a disaster as he had been expecting. The caution Computer was exercising meant that they had mutual control, and Computer was content to hang back and willfully let Courage take over whenever he felt like he was pushing him back too much. Things could change if something were to come up that they disagreed on, but for now they were existing in relative harmony.

It had taken a lot of prodding on Courage's part to get Computer to open up about what had happened to him during their long months apart. He suspected that it was Computer's recounting and the amount of 'thinking' that it had required that had caused him to become so mentally exhausted afterwords. To the point that Computer had pretty much forced him to take a nap out of the fear that his brain was being baked in his own skull.

Courage now knew about how Computer had, more or less, been arrested after their vehicle went into the river. He also knew that there had been a horrible few hours where Computer had believed that he had died, and given everything the SCC had to do to revive him, that belief hadn't been far from the truth. During that part of Computer's recounting, Courage had received some of his remembered despair and that had given him a decent idea of just how much his near death had affected Computer. He had also received more than a few mental images of Computer's time in the police station. It seemed that he had been held in a room almost identical to the one the SCC had been keeping Courage in.

Computer had told him about, and also seemingly shown him through those mental images, his escape from the police station and the SCC. Courage now knew about the puppies that Computer had met after his narrow escape. He had spoken of Spot and how the pup had tried to rob him, how he had chased him and ended up in the ruined house that those puppies lived in. Then he had talked of how he had tried to help them with their situation while lying low there.

Courage had sensed Computer's genuine fondness for the pups. Even now he was worried for their safety. Something horrible had happened to Spot and Computer had been away from the other puppies for a dire amount of time. What had become of the puppies was one big unknown, and as long as the two of them were stuck like this in the SCC's 'care', they had no way to find out.

It was only when Charon came into the picture that Computer's recounting of the events that he had been through started to become far more vague. He had refused to go into detail about what had happened to him after he willingly went with Charon to save Spot, but remembered images and feelings still reached Courage, and it did not paint a pretty picture. The only thing Computer had been willing to talk about was that he had joined up with a group of dogs who had been working to tear Charon and his operation down from within. They had managed to pull it off and escape, but at a great cost. There was someone named Dena who had died during their escape, and Computer had been far too distraught about what had happened to her to give Courage any more information. He did, unfortunately, through no fault of Computer's, get a terrible mental image of her pinned down and about to be consumed by a monstrous dog.

...And he had received a similar image of Spot as well.

The only positive thing his companion had to report was that he had run into the girl dog, who had been acting as a nurse for the dogs Charon was abusing. She apparently was responsible for Computer having lived long enough to actually enjoy his reunion with Courage. He still spoke of her with considerable contempt, but even he had to admit that she, in way, had kept her promise to him. He suspected that she was still with Spot, even now. If the pup had survived, that is.

It was during his attempt to tiptoe around what had happened to him while he was in Charon's clutches that Computer had begun to realize just how little he could actually hide from Courage while he was in his brain. He did not know how to block his thoughts, feelings, or mental images very well, and given that it was his nature as a Construct to be an overbearing force that could so easily stifle Courage's own consciousness, there was very little he could do to prevent it. He could not simply move himself to some empty part of Courage's brain and put some space between them. He was just too 'big', so to speak. Even Courage had to admit that he did feel something akin to his mind being squashed from the lack of room.

Panic, of course, had quickly set in upon Computer realizing that he had plenty of traumatic thoughts, feelings, and memories that he could inadvertently push upon Courage. He began to worry that he might accidentally cause Courage to experience one of his memories of Him, and he had gotten to work trying not to think about Him. The problem was, the more you try not to think about something...you tend to do the exact opposite.

That had only sent Computer into an even bigger tizzy. Out of sheer desperation he had forced himself to start thinking about the very next thing that came to his mind, and the topic had happened to be...internet memes.

All of a sudden Courage's mind had been full of images of kittens and cheeseburgers. He also saw some overweight guy dancing to a song that wasn't in English. In that moment, it suddenly struck Computer that that guy resembled Him...and began to panic even harder when his thoughts turned to that. He was left with no other choice but to summon even more ancient internet memes and Courage began to see in his head some robot guy talking about bases and even a dancing banana.

Trying to help Computer take his mind off things, he had decided to ask a question in lighthearted jest, although it kinda had been a valid question...

"So, uh, how are bathroom breaks going to work while we're like this?"

He was fairly certain he got to feel the exact moment Computer went insane.

….And the only answer he got was a very strained, "Hold it...FOREVER!"

He then got to listen to Computer scream inside of his own head for at least a good, solid minute. It had been strangely muffled too, like Computer was trying to suffocate himself with a pillow, and that pillow had probably been Courage's brain. If there was one thing he had come to realize after spending only an hour or two seeing what Computer's regular mental state was like firsthand, it was that, well...he was very glad that he was not Computer.

...And it seemed that Computer was going to be the one to come out of this arrangement incurably insane.

One mental breakdown later and Computer had started to notice how mentally exhausted Courage was getting. That was when he had forced him to take a nap. He had physically laid him down and made him keep his eyes closed...

Feeling a lot better now, Courage sat up. His arms were still hopelessly wrapped around himself, even as he rose, and not at his own bidding either. He could sense that Computer was 'awake', so to speak, but he was so lost in thought that he did not seem to realize what was going on outside of Courage's brain. It seemed that even though Courage had slept...he had not. Which was weird in itself.

At least things were a little better now that Computer had had some time to unwind. Courage much preferred the warm affection his companion was willingly or unwillingly flooding him with over the downright paranoid panic and worry he had been bombarding him with before. Computer did not seem to understand that panicking about the possibility of accidentally hurting Courage with his own traumatic memories was just as unpleasant for his 'roommate' as the thing he was worried about happening. Right now though, Courage felt safe and protected by that overbearing presence that was practically wrapped around his consciousness. Computer certainly did not feel any emotions halfway, that was for sure.

Depressingly however, Courage had been slowly becoming aware of something that he really did not want to acknowledge while Computer was paying attention. He had not noticed it at first because, well, he was not exactly used to sharing the same brain with someone. He did not have any previous experiences to compare this to, but it was starting to become obvious that something was off. With how squashed he was, it was difficult not to notice after awhile.

He did not know how exactly to describe it though. The best thing he could think of to somehow put what it felt like into words was that it was like he was being pressed against a pane of glass that was intact but lined with millions of cracks and ready to shatter at the lightest touch. It was making how squashed he felt even more uncomfortable. He did not want to be the one to cause this precarious situation to crumble.

It seemed that he was, unfortunately, fully capable of feeling all of the damage He had left behind. Part of him so badly just wanted to think of it like old scars, but it was more like a bunch of unhealed wounds that could start bleeding out at any moment. It was...not a comfortable position to be in, and he hoped so badly that he could keep it from Computer that he-

"You feel it now too, don't you?"

Courage was startled when his own mouth began to move without his command. It still was so incredibly weird to hear Computer's voice come out of his mouth. Switching back over to his own voice, he let out an 'Eeep!' and jumped so high that it took a few seconds for him to hit the floor again.

Just like how Computer could not entirely mask his own thoughts and feelings, Courage was stuck with the exact same problem...

"I...it...we-" He hopelessly stammered.

Computer waited for him to stop stumbling over his own words in a failed attempt to explain himself before speaking up again.

"What is it like for you?" He asked. "I mean, as an organic being? I'm sure you can't fully comprehend it, just like how you can't fully comprehend what being apart of the amalgamation is like. I see that you consider my...condition like cracked glass. Does it seem like I'm shattered to you then? Irreparably broken? Just waiting to fall apart?" He was not angry or outraged, just curious, and perhaps a little worried too.

"Well, consider it this way." He went on when Courage did not answer. "This is how it feels for me every moment of every day. It is always present and I cannot escape or ignore it. Maybe that is one thing that you comprehend, how awful it feels to always be aware of the fact that you are...wrong, and that you will never be right again." A halfhearted smile formed on Courage's face as Computer chuckled, "And you wonder why I have...issues."

He joked, but Courage did not sense even a sliver of mirth from him, only a mixture of sadness, shame, and yes, worry.

"Now that you can't ignore it either, it's...not a problem, is it?" He asked that with great hesitation. "Although, if it is, there's not really anything I can do about it. If I could spare you, trust me, I would, but-" He seemed to shrink. "You...don't think any less of me, now that, well-" The anxiety he felt became overwhelming, even for Courage, and that was more than enough to get the point across.

It seemed that because this aspect of himself was now at the forefront and impossible to hide, the irrational fear that was always lingering in the back of his mind, that Courage might eventually change his mind about him, was clawing its way back into the light. He understood on some level exactly how irrational his fear was, but he could not help it. While he did not mean to, he ended up broadcasting several of his current thoughts and old memories to Courage. He was thinking of all the times he had been thrown away, sold off, or abandoned for not being able to function properly. After all that, he could not help or stop the anxiety he had that the pattern might one day continue, in spite of all the evidence to the contrary. Especially now that Courage was getting a firsthand look at just how truly broken and non-functional he was.

Not even their time in the Dreamworld had given Courage such a 'personal' look into what it felt like to be, well, Computer. It was not exactly pleasant, but not for the reasons Computer seemed to believe.

"C'mon, Compute." He warmly assured him. "That would be like me deciding that I don't care about someone anymore because they lost an arm or a leg, or because they happen to have an ugly scar. You are not this-"

He did one of those mental hug things again and pressed himself up against that feeling of cracked glass, no longer worried that he might cause it to crumble. Computer was not going to fall apart that easily.

"I know you've got a thick skull 'n all, but someday I'm gonna get my message through to you." He gently laughed, trying to do a mental equivalent of a nuzzle too.

All of a sudden Computer was very squirmy, both as that overbearing presence in Courage's head, and physically as well.

"H-hey!" He exclaimed. "Stop that!"

He made Courage jump to his feet out of desperation to escape something that could not exactly be escaped.

"T-that tickles!"

Courage was not sure how mentally nuzzling a non-physical entity could cause any sort of tickling sensation, but Computer's overreaction was so funny that he decided to keep at it anyway.

"Why...do you...insist on...ruining...my day!" His companion barely managed to choke out because he was trying very, very hard not to laugh.

At some point, he stumbled backwards, and since neither of them were particularly coordinated in their shared control of Courage's body, he fell and thudded the back of Courage's head against the floor so hard that both of them were left seeing stars.

Courage groaned, clasped his paws to his head, and curled up into a ball. "Thanks for the concussion..."

"Sorry..." Computer weakly drawled. "Although, maybe you'll think twice next time before you go and mess with the super weapon stuck in your head!"

"Pretty funny then that I can stop a super weapon that easily."

"I never said I was good at being a super weapon."

Courage put on a rather evil grin upon it occurring to him that he now had a weapon of his own. "You know what this means? I've got a way to force you to laugh when you're doing your doom and gloom thing!"

"Greeaat..." Computer groaned. "And I suppose you like concussions, because next time won't be an accident."

In spite of Computer's threat, Courage could sense a genuine gratefulness from him. He was so relieved that Courage was willing, even now, to put up with and assuage his irrational fears. He appreciated that Courage was trying to help him feel better even when his inescapable irrationality was doing everything it could to work against him. Courage could tell that it meant the world to him to be accepted as he was, especially when he did not exactly feel comfortable in his own skin...or perhaps it was better to say, in his own microchips. If Courage could feel just how bad it was while they were like this and think no differently of him for it, maybe, just maybe, he could be okay with it too.

Courage smiled and did a far less tickling mental hug. Computer reciprocated without the slightest bit of hesitation. Courage decided yet again that it really wasn't so bad being this way with Computer. Yes, it could be a bit uncomfortable and awkward at times, but moments like these more than made up for it.

…Although, a thump on the door heralded an event that would put their current harmony to the test.

When Courage heard the noise, he rolled over onto all fours in half a second. He growled hatefully at the door as he waited for it to open, aware of how off balance he felt, even on all four paws. That didn't matter though. You didn't need proper balance to speak. The second Elizabeth walked through that door, he was going to tell her off so thoroughly that even Computer would be aghast with his language.

"You do realize that you're not the least bit threatening, right?" Computer quipped, Courage's expression briefly relaxing as he took over long enough to speak.

He had to have some idea that Courage wasn't planning on attacking Elizabeth, but maybe Courage's intent to let her know exactly how he felt about her was coming off that way to him. Even if their current state made it incredibly easy to figure out what the other was thinking, they still could not read each other's mind and there was room to misinterpret.

Regardless, Courage's grand plan was thwarted when the person who entered the room turned out not to be Elizabeth but instead an SCC soldier. His growl turned into a groan when he noticed that the SCC soldier had an open can of that nasty dog food in their hand.

It was placed down onto the floor in front of him a good few steps away. Apparently after all that growling, even an armored SCC solder didn't want to get close.

"Not threatening, huh?" Courage muttered to his mental roommate.

"They're probably more worried about me than you." Computer retorted.

Courage plopped down onto the floor and crossed his arms as he glared at the can of mush. He knew that he was hungry, and he could tell that the same hunger was affecting Computer too, but he was just about ready to begin a hunger strike if it meant that they might start giving him something else to eat.

"It can't possibly be that bad." Computer spoke up, catching more than enough of Courage's disgust to understand just how much he hated the stuff.

"It is." Courage grumbled.

"Well, you're hungry, which means I'm hungry, and I don't feel like spending the next however long being hungry. I'll just eat it for you then."

"No!" Courage exclaimed, stopping Computer from moving forward to grab the stuff. "I'm still going to have to taste it even if you're the one who does the eating!"

"You're not really going to starve us just because you're being a picky baby?"

"I am! You don't know how bad that dog food is!"

Computer considered the can and grimaced as Courage's stomach rumbled.

"Don't get any funny ideas!" Courage warned when he sensed that Computer was trying to figure out a way to trick him into eating. "My body, my rules!"

"Don't make me have to go all Super Weapon on you." He threatened.

"Don't make me have to use my Nuzzle Powers to stop you!"

Courage felt himself involuntarily shudder as Computer got the message loud and clear. Not even hunger was enough to get him to disregard a threat like that. He backed off a little, but Courage could sense that he was still...plotting. As long as that awful dog food was sitting there, it was a threat. He hated to think that he might wake up to find himself eating that stuff!

Deciding that he needed to do something about it, he crawled over to the can and picked it up. He'd smear the stuff across the walls if he had to. Anything to stop Computer from figuring out a way to get that stuff down their shared gullet.

"Bad idea!" His companion laughed, taking control of the arm that held the can. "You make this far too-"

He had started to move it upward, as if to tip all of it into Courage's mouth at once, but out of desperation, Courage activated his Nuzzle Powers to save himself before it was too late.

"GAH!" Computer cried out, nearly dropping the can altogether, but even under Courage's attack, he still managed to hold on.

Courage decided to be merciful and ended his attack, but upon doing so, he demanded, "Put the can down, Compute!"

In spite of what had just happened, and in spite of what Courage could still do if he did not comply, Computer continued to eye up the dog food hungrily.

"Compute, I swear, if you don't put that can down I'm going to nuzzle you till you laugh!" He threatened.

Computer wasn't having it. "Fine, you have two options then. Either you let me eat this stuff or you get to listen to me complain until you give in or we starve to death. I don't know if you've noticed, but you can't exactly get rid of me right now, and I have all the time in the world to complain until you stop being a stubborn, picky child!"

"You already spend every waking moment complaining, Compute! That isn't a threat!"

"Wha-hey! I do not complain that much!" Computer...complained.

Courage used that brief moment of distraction to regain control of his arm and he twisted his wrist until the can of nasty dog food tipped over so far that the brown goop slid out and hit the floor with an unpleasant splat.

Computer's reaction was to grin an evil grin. "Five second rule..."

Courage could sense that Computer was only messing with him to get revenge, but as a precaution, he still clamped his own mouth shut. He briefly became disoriented when his eyes rolled without his prompting.

The splatted goop that was the dog food decided that it was going to get its own revenge. The smell of the stuff quickly became unbearable. Courage did the only thing he could do and crawled as far away from the mess as possible. Even across the room though, the smell still reached him.

"Should have just eaten it." Computer chided him.

Courage was still a little worried that he might wake up to find himself eating the stuff off the floor. On one hand, he figured that Computer still had far too much dignity to pull such a desperate move, but on the other hand, Courage could sense that something had changed about his companion since they were last together. At first he had assumed that Computer was just being his usual Computer self about food, but now it seemed that it was more like he had come to associate hunger with...extremely unpleasant feelings and memories.

"Would it kill you to tell me what happened to you at that Charon's place?" He asked.

As far as he could tell, that was where Computer had developed this bleak change.

"I really don't want to talk about it." His companion answered, putting on an air of exaggerated grumpiness. "Especially not while we're like this."

Even now his top priority seemed to be avoiding accidentally catching Courage up in one of his traumatic memories. Somehow, whatever had happened to him while he was being held prisoner by Charon had left him with memories that he considered just as bad as the ones he had of His torture.

Courage understood that this was ultimately one of those things where he was going to have to wait for Computer to decide to open up on his own, if at all, but still...

"Hey, look, I'm sorr-" He began, regretful that he had been poking at a sore spot for Computer, and for being, well, a 'picky baby' who had ruining their chance at a meal.

"Don't go getting the wrong idea." Computer interrupted him with a stern tone. "All is well, even if you are a picky baby. It's only one missed meal, and this is your body, so you're only hurting yourself with your stupid stubbornness." He put on an air of fake smugness.

Regardless, a few images slipped into Courage's head of caged dogs so starved that they looked more like skeletons than living creatures.

Realizing what had happened, Computer shook Courage's head as if that would clear both their minds of whatever thoughts were there. "Sorry about that." He uttered out, regretful that he was not keeping his memories in check.

Deciding that it would be best not to press the issue further for now, Courage switched topics with the hope that it would help.

"So, uh, were you still awake even while I was asleep before?" He asked, figuring that it be a good idea to find out what was going on with that.

"Oh, yeah, that was weird." Computer answered, sounding rather confused himself. "I could tell that you had fallen asleep but I could still open your eyes and move you around. None of that seemed to wake you up either. I did try to see if I could fall asleep myself, but nothing really happened. It appears that I may not need to sleep like this. I guess it makes sense when you consider it from the whole super weapon angle. The enslaved host mind does all the sleeping for you while you go on to do super weapon-y things with their body."

"Too bad it didn't work out." Courage dryly commented. "You still need to sleep when you're controlling bodies the regular way. I guess something about making the host's mind go dormant takes that benefit away."

"Oh, uh, right. I should probably mention something else..." Computer added rather hesitantly, sending Courage feelings of sheepishness when he himself received Courage's own feelings of alarm. "I, erm, remember everything now. And when I say everything, I mean everything. My siblings were holding those old, corrupted memories of mine back so that I would be easier to manipulate. They did not want me rediscovering what I was and where I had come from. When I finally joined them, they no longer had any reason to restrict those memories. Obviously that didn't matter one iota while I was apart of the amalgamation, but now..."

"Why the heck didn't you say anything about this sooner?" Courage exclaimed.

"Because I've been trying really, really hard not to think about it while you're awake!" He shot back, sending feelings that made it clear that he was desperate to get back to sifting through his old memories. He had only stopped for Courage's sake.

...And Courage also received a weirdly distinct image of a brain being fried on a skillet.

"As far as I can tell, I don't seem to put as much strain on your brain while you are asleep, so I can think about it more easily then. But, when it comes to my past, I'm starting to believe that if we're going to be stuck in this predicament with the SCC for the foreseeable future, you should probably know what I know. The problem is that even just getting you up to speed before really wiped you out, so I don't know what telling you about all of this would do to you. It might be worth the risk, but it might also cause your brain to start leaking out of your ears."

Courage swallowed anxiously. "I want to know." He affirmed. "We can take breaks if it starts messing with my brain too much."

"Or you might start getting brain damage anyway..."

"C'mon, Compute! You can't tell me something like that and then decide you're not going to fill me in!"

"Oh, sure." Computer huffed, crossing Courage's arms. "We're only talking about the potential for a very minor case of serious brain damage! No big deal or anything!"

"Okay, fine. How about this then?" Courage offered. "If you tell me, I promise that the second we find a coffee machine I'll let you use this body to drink as much as you-"

"Deal!"

...Courage never even got to finish his sentence before Computer overrode his voice with his own.

He couldn't help but snicker at Computer's ever worsening addiction to caffeine. "Risking my brain for coffee? I guess somethings never change about you, Compute."

"You have nobody to blame but yourself." He quipped back.

Getting down to business, Courage felt Computer start to consider a few things. He ended up receiving a few errant and indecipherable images from his companion as he thought.

"I'm not entirely sure where to start." Computer admitted.

"From the beginning?" Courage offered, somewhat teasingly.

His companion ignored the jab. "I suspect that starting from the beginning without explaining a few things would only serve to confuse you even more than you're already going to be."

Computer fell silent again as he considered a few more things. Finally, still unsure of himself, he asked Courage, "Did that Elizabeth woman tell you anything about how we are made?"

Courage nodded. "Yeah, she said that they use an ancient ritual to give you guys artificial souls."

An unusually wary feeling fell over Computer at that confirmation.

"Did she tell you what exactly that ritual entails?" He asked, and then shook Courage's head. "No, she must not have. You would be having a far different reaction right now if you already knew."

Courage's stomach sank as anxiety took hold. Everything about this ritual business had already seemed shady to him, and Computer's dire tone only helped to reinforce his belief. The way the SCC treated the Constructs was already abhorrent and incredibly unethical, so how much worse could it get?

"I suppose there's no beating around the bush about this." Computer admitted, sounding as though he were about to rip a bandage off. "It's a sacrificial ritual. The SCC takes dying people and, erm, 'helps them along' by subjecting them to the ritual. That is how we are made. The ritual takes what little life energy these dying people have left and crafts it into a pseudo soul in the shape of their own. It's a mere shadow of the real thing, more of a template than anything else, but it does appear to get the job done. Well, as far as I can tell, as a possessor of one of these fake souls."

End Of Chapter

A/N: I guess this means the Numa Numa guy is Him. And, oh hey, I finally managed to not-so-subtly sneak a Portal 2 reference in.