Hey guys! I'm here with a story for all you guys! I had this idea randomly pop into my head one day, and I said OMIGOD I GOTTA POST THIS! The story's overall theme song is "Angel With A Shotgun" by The Cab. It's an awesome song. If you haven't heard this song, LISTEN TO IT! It's amazing. I'm super serial.

Summary: Above the heavens, there is a community of angels. When an angel turns 16, they are assigned a task of bravery and sacrifice to gain their wings. Although not every angel is brave or caring enough to agree to it, every angel gets their wings one way or another- and three of them are going to learn that- the hard way. But are their targets of interest really worth it? Kyman, Creek, and Bunny.

Pairings: Kyman (Kyle/Cartman)

Creek (Craig/Tweek)

Bunny (Butters/Kenny)

Side Pairings: They are to be decided

I'm an angel with a shotgun,

fighting 'til the war's won,

I don't care if heaven won't take me back

I'll throw away my faith, babe, just to keep you safe

Don't you know you're everything I have?

..and I, wanna live, not just survive, tonight

The Cab- Angel With A Shotgun

You've heard the tales of angels. They're warriors decked in white, and have no worries or troubles. They do not know sickness or sins. They are perfect figures of holiness.

But that's not entirely true.

Angels have no last name, they are born into a family with only their first name as a label. And no ancient or confusing names either, They're as modern as can be. Angels have sinned. They've killed, robbed, and stolen from people. And only the Guardians of the Innocent are immortals. There is probably a graveyard built every ten years.

Where do they go after death?

Angel heaven, duh. Where else would they go? Normal heaven?

In a way, they're just like us.

They can be boring, and intolerable, and pervy.

Just like our little stars of the show.

Craig, Eric, and Kenny.

Craig is certain he'll get stuck with a boring job as his act of "bravery" like stop an oil spill or put out a forest fire or whatever. He's sure that he isn't one of those stuck-up prophecy Guardian losers. He just doesn't care.

Eric hates everyone. He a fat bastard who hates both people and angels that are different from him based on religion, race, sexuality, and finance. He'll probably be banished and turn into a dark angel like many before him.

You're probably wondering: Angels worry about that shit? Yeah they do. They're no different from you and I.

Last but not least is Kenny. He's a poor as shit blonde ladies' man who's the biggest man-whore in their school- St. Gabriel High. He's the king of one-night stands. He's probably screwed more chicks than any other angel in that high school.

On the edge of the town, there's a building where the Guardians of The Innocent live. They spend their lives there. Yes they leave the building when they please, but after earning their ranks as Guardians, they are sent to live there in luxury. Some of the Guardians are assholes who enjoy rubbing their triumph and bravery in others' faces. Others are kind and gentle. Others are in between asshole and anything but asshole level. They are warriors who risked their lives to save their assigned Earthling from danger. Asshole or not. When the ultimate sacrifice is made, the angel who mad it is given the title of either King or Queen of angels by the Foreseers (seers of the prophecy) depending on their gender. The current King is Pip. He almost died to save a boy named Damien Thorn, the son of Satan.

Yes, he almost died to save the spawn of the most unholy person in history (who's actually a nice guy). That, in the Foreseers' eyes, was the ultimate act of bravery. Hence his position as King.

But with an assignment to get your wings, it also comes with a great responsibility. Many others try to run away from it, but one way or another, you always get them. Wheather it be willingly or by force.

And our three boys are going to learn this.

The hard way.

"Move your ass Craig! You stupid asshole!"

Craig stuck up his middle finger and walked slower. He hated being yelled at. Yet he didn't get angry because he's not the best at expressing his emotions. Or caring for that matter. He continued walking behind his two supposed friends, Eric and Kenny. None of them were very popular and therefore had made friends with each other out of loneliness... if you can even call it a friendship.

The three boys were walking home from school. They missed the bus purposely because all the bullies, dumb jocks and underage asshole Guardians ride the bus home. (Even thought they can fly perfectly fine with their wings). And they don't need anymore shit after a full day at school.

"I wish we could ride the fucking bus home without getting shit from all the jackasses who think they're hot shit." Kenny pointed out.

"Yeah not to mention all the fags and retards that are on the bus." Eric piped up.

"Eric shut the fuck up."

"Make me, poor boy!"

"No way! Craig! Could you intervene for once.

Craig rolled his eyes and shook his head. He flipped them both the bird, and continued to ignore them bickering.

"Oh shut your damn mouth Kinneh! You know perfectly well that you want to be a little pampered jackass just like those other Guardian bitches!"

"Bull shit! I'm fine just like this!"

"You guys are both kidding yourselves." Craig spoke up, surprising all three of them. "We would all want to be pampered little bitches so shut up."

"Whatever Craig, it's so obvious that-"

Before Eric could finish his sentence, there was a blinding white light, and they were standing in front of King Pip and the rest of the Guardians of the Innocent.

"The prophecied ones have arrived."

How was it? Was it good? Bad? Ehhh? Ideas and suggestions are welcome, so don't hesitate to let me know if you have any, you don't have to be shy, I don't bite... usually. And thanks again for reading!

See ya!

-Liv