Chapter 6: Super Sane Saturday

A/N: And another chaper is done some time after the last! With all the spare time I've had recently, I though I would finish this off!

Touma slowly came around in the bathbed. He did a careful check and found much to his surprise that no Mini Bosses, Aztec Magicians or Pig Tailed Teleporters had made there way in overnight. An even more careful investigation also discovered a lack of Norse mythology-based magicians in the room, female or otherwise.

"Ahh misfortune… where are you hiding?" Touma asked to the world as he carefully got dressed. "I know my morning can't go this smoothly for long…"

He carefully pushed open the door as he braced his heart for strife.

"No man could understand!" Othinus shouted while in front of the others. And then rose her right fist high "My power is in my own hand!"

"I thought it was more in the Go Go Goddess' of Justice fandom hands actually." Touma pointed out as he walked into the room. Othinus turned her head sharply at the sound of his voice with a slight blush. "Ah of course my darling Touma, but I do feel it's by my -own- hand that I've acquired this new power."

She then moved closer to him and took his hands while also passing him an address on a piece of paper "Also darling I need you to go shopping for milk still. I heard there is a sale at this shopping centre."

Touma risked a quick nervous glance at Index, who despite the word 'darling' being thrown around quite liberally, was not attempting to bite his head. Through she did look rather self-conscious and uneasy.

"I mean with my cooking skills, I could use that saving on milk to massively reduce our household bill on food…." Othinus said thoughtfully.

Touma was ready and out of the dorm in under ten minutes, grabbing and eating some toast while getting ready. There was no way he would to lose the battle with his domestic expenses, he would counter the additional subtractions of the fairy goddess becoming a full sized goddess, along with her former (?) minion moving in by harness the combined powers of sales and Othinus cooking skills!

Touma made it to the shopping centre in good time, got the milk and other domestic supplies that were on offer and was planning to leave when he saw the sign in the bookshop window and paused a moment.

Secret Senpai.

Wasn't that the show Mikoto had been shouting about the other day? A intrigued Touma took a closer look at the poster and noted that it seemed focused on a aloof looking older girl looking away, with younger looking cute girl looking up at her. At the bottom of the poster was the tag line 'no one can know she's her senpai' with a dark misty background.

"You figured it out yet?" Said a female voice from behind Touma. On turning he recognised the dark hair girl as one of Mikotos friends.

"Saten?"

"The one and only!" she replied with a playful grin. "But have you figured what the secret is about yet?"

Touma looked at the poster carefully again. Again all he could see was was the two girls, but just as he was about to give up, Saten leaned in and whispered in his ear a bit too closely.

"All those cats."

And then he saw them. The dark mist wasn't mist at all, it was a huge mass of interlacing shadowy cats, and quite alien and strange cats at that... and then the penny dropped.

"It's a magical girl story?"

"It is!" Satern replied with a smile before going on further. "But in the setting of the story, magical girls have been outlawed! However Airi finds out that her senpai Hana has secretly going out at night and saving people in secret as the magical girl Black Rose!"

"And so Airi keeps her secret and eventually becomes a magical girl herself?"

"Indeed as the White Rose!" Saten replied excitedly "And together they fight against injustice and evil! It such a cool and uplifting story, with sweet lovely moments!"

".. So why does Mikoto not want to be a secret senpai then?"

Saten made a oooo like expression with her face before chuckling.

"Shirai is a big Airi/Hana shipper and Mikito has never actually read the books " Said the grinning girl before adding "And Shirai is such a vocal fan!"

"Ahhh..." Touma replied softly as the mystery resolved itself. "Shirai does have so much passion in everything she does."

Saten nodded.

"Shame about Mikoto and her 'issues'. through I guess being in quasi relationship with badly defined rules was always going to end badly..."

Touma felt a uncomfortable feeling in his stomach...

"Oh well, I'm sure things will sort themselves out in the end, and everyone will at least be friends again eventually." Saten said with a sigh. "Through from what Uihauru is saying, Shirai is still so furious, she talking of moving dorms."

The feeling wasn't going away.

"Through on a different note, is that someone dressed as Go Go Goddess Girls of Justices Odina setting up to play music down there?"

Touma's head spun so quickly he nearly got whiplash. And their she was. Othinus. In the middle of the shopping centre with guitar, and Thor pulling up some drums behind her.

"Hey guys, my name is Odina and this is my son Thor." She said with a playful wink as she spoke with a wireless microphone (that he had no idea where she had acquired) to the quickly gathering crowd. "We're going to do a few songs for you shortly, but before we do I like to say a few things. First our special effects use cutting edge tech, so cutting edge you may mistake it for magic!"

She was totally using magic, she was publicly using magic in the middle of the City of Science!

"Also the main reason we're doing so, is to help repay a debt of gratitude we owe to a mutual friend of ours." Othinus explained. "You see not so long ago I was in a pretty dark place, but then this absolute idiot came along, shattered my screwed up delusions and turned the lights of my life back on... and he does this a lot apparently! But he still struggles to pay the bills for groceries despite having a housewife's mind for budgeting... So if you want to show some support and maybe a bit of gratitude for his helping right hand, please give your donation to the nun in white!"

Glancing through the crowd, Touma quickly found the ever hungry nun with a tri colour cat carrying what looked suspiciously like the bucket from under the sink at home!

"And now lets ROCK!"

And with that she broke into the guitar solo from Queens 'Princes of the Universe' before going full swing into the rest of the song.

"Wow, she's actually pretty good isn't she?" Saten noted before adding. "And all those explosion and lightning bolt strikes look so realistic, she must have some top notch holographic and sound system tech for sure!"

Touma resisted temptation to point out she had Thor the God of Thunder on drums.

"And now lets move onto another one of my favourites by Queen... 'Gimme Me The Prize!'"

And as she said that, she looked right at Touma with a expression that wouldn't have looked out of place on a hungry wolf looking at its dinner.

Was this whole stunt Othinus... flirting? Touma mused as she sang. Was she trying to earn points to win over Touma's heart?

"And now for a bit of 'Flash', because we all know he will save every one of us!" Othinus said with considerable enthusiasm, but before she could break into the song properly...

"Oh Touma-chan my beloved soul mate, I've come to save you from the evil one eyed witch and whisk you away to my mansion in England!" Said Leivinia Birdway as she emerged from some blue smoke in a somewhat familiar cute and fancy blue dress with yellow lighting bolts at the head of a dozen or so other Dawn-Colored Sunlight cabal members.

"Wow, she come as Go Go Goddess Girls of Justice's Zea!" Saten exclaimed as Touma finally realised where he seen the look before. Zea was the 'Pop' member of the Band Divine Judgement and typically considered the leader. Zea was based on Zeus, but of course was a cute girl in the show and not the bearded man of myth.

"Oh the child decided to copy her elder." Othinus said dismissively over the microphone. "But does she have bite behind her bark, or is she is a puppy... without puppies?"

The last and very bitchy remark hit Leivinia like a cruise missile, causing her to burst into a angry yelled reply.

"It's not my fault I'm still growing! One day they will be huge and you will still be flat hag!"

Othinus chuckled at that.

"Aww you focus on them so much don't you..." She said with a nasty quiet tone before adding with full venomous bite. "like many little girls you think there super important and the only way to charm men."

This time Leivinia shot a small telesma explosion at Othinus, but just as it was about to connect..

"And another one bites the dust!" Othinus sang.

It burst into dust, causing an annoyed looking Leivinia to summon several more.

"And another one gone, and another one gone … Another one bites the dust!"

And as Othinus sang, each of the orbs of energy exploded into dust.

"So you can use this style like that." Leivinia said with a thoughtful expression. "But of course in my case I would be limited to pop songs.."

She smirked evilly.

"It be a shame if you got too high, can't come down."

And with that Othinus was flung upwards.

"Oh that's from Brittany Spears' Toxic!" Saten said with interest. " Zea sings that in episode six when they go to Mars and they have to convince the Prince of the Martians that Earthlings aren't evil. Also these special effects are amazing!"

"Hey brat, are you feeling pressing down on you?"

And with that Leivinia was suddenly face planting the floor.

"And thats Queens and David Bowies Under Pressure!" Saten explained. "Odina sings that in episode eight to her classmates when they're struggling with exam pressures. Also these two actresses have a really convincing chemistry!"

How long this this fight would have continued was unknown, because at this point Accelerator crashed through the roof and landed in front of Touma like a much more grumpy Superman.

"Accelerator have you come to help break up the fight between these two?" Touma asked hopefully.

"Your fucking harem, your fucking problem." He stated dismissively. "But this other idiot is under my protection."

And with that, he took a grinning Satens arm and flew out through the same hole he had come through.

"And the Academy City insurance companies woes continue." Touma said with a heavy sigh. "And now I..."

It was at this point a small army of familiar looking nuns swarmed the area.

"Both of you stand down , or we will use extreme force!" Shouted Agnese before looking straight at Touma with a slight blush. "Don't worry we can talk in private after I've dealt with this pair of criminal scum!"

The pair of blond spellcasters paused a moment and stared at Agnese.

"Is she openly plotting to put the moves on Touma?" Othinus asked.

"I think she is." Leivinia replied.

"Temporary alliance?"

"Lets."

However before the Blond Alliance and Agnese Forces could clashes...

"One moment." Said a mysterious girl in a stern and serous tone while carrying a rather familiar looking Aztec stone sword. "Before you start your battle royal there is a idiot girl called Saten Rukio I don't want dragged into this. As long as she is not..."

"Oh she's already been rescued." Touma shouted while pointing at the hole in the roof. "Accelerator was ahead of you. I don't suppose you be willing to back me up like you do with Mikoto and help me sort this mess out?"

She gave him a murderous stare before talking.

"Mikoto only gets my help because sometimes our desires align over the fool." The totally disguised Xochitl explained. "I'm not a charity who helps perverts with their self inflicted messes."

And with that, she dismissed her stone sword, turned around and walked away.

"Such misfortune." Touma muttered as he realised a second possible life line had been cut.

"And now it's time to continue the long tradition of European wars based on shifting alliances!" Othinus shouted. "If you little nuns think you can stand before our might..."

There was a sudden sound like crack of thunder from the upper floor as a magical spear was hit against the floor.

"I heard you made a cake." Said a grave and serous sounding Itsuwa at the head of the rest of the Amakusa faction minus Kanzaki. "And it was really nice and complicated cake."

A dangerous silence filled the room. Previously chatty girls stopped chatting. A enterprising older student who been taking bets on who was going to win, paused and just stared. Index gasped and covered Sphynx's eyes.

"What can I say." Othinus said with a tone just as serous and grave. "I've had plenty of practice in the past... and it seemed like the perfect way to demonstrate my elite cooking skills to my beloved Touma."

"Then you must understand in this battle between women, that I must challenge you to a bake off."

Othinus respectfully bowed.

"I accept your challenge young warrior of the kitchen." She said in a polite tone before adding in a tone more like a mob boss. "Thor set up my kitchen, and do it properly!"

"I may be lacking in experience but my sister says my biscuits are really nice!" Leivinia exclaimed before ordering "Men get my kitchen ready now!"

"Aww the little English girl thinks mere biscuits are the path to victory?" Agnese said with a a cruel smirk. "My Touma Torta will crush your 'nice biscuits'! Also sisters, construct the battleground!"

And thus before Touma eyes, four kitchens were rapidly constructed in the middle of the shopping centre. And for some reason Index decided to take on the role of adjudicator and judge.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Index said loudly with what looked like Othinus' microphone from earlier. "It seems we have a dispute between maidens that can only be decided by the universal language of humanity … tasty food!"

That got a cheer from the shopping centre.

"In the red kitchen we have Odina." Index said while motioning to Othinus. "Who will be making a traditional Norwegian Cream Cake, or Bløtkake to use it proper name!"

The room cheered... especially the older students and teachers!

"And in the blue kitchen we have Zea!" She said while motioning to Leivinia. "Who will be making heart shaped ginger biscuits with icing!"

The room cheered again... especially the younger female students who seem to have taken Leivinia plight as there own.

"While in the yellow kitchen we have plans for a variation of the delicious Italian chocolate cake known as the Torta Novecento … with Agnese's Touma Torta!"

This time the cheers weren't quite so loud, but it seems every person with a Judgment armband was cheering for sure. Perhaps because she had tried to break up the earlier fight?

"And finally in the green kitchen we have a hard working girl keeping it a simple and going for a cake with only four ingredient that can be found anywhere... it's Itsuwa and her Castella Cake!"

There was a shocking amount of shouting, whopping and cheering. It seems a mix of throwing down the challenge and going for such a commonly known cake had won her a great deal of support from the city's students.

"And with that, you all have one hour to make your creation. May the best girl win Academy Cities First Great Bake Off!"

She then blew loudly on a whistle. And after a hour of fanatical activity, she blew it again.

"And now lets see the tasty results!" Index stated as she took up the microphone again and went to the red kitchen. "First let see how good Odina's Bløtkake is!"

She quickly demolished the cream cake.

"Such a lovely texture and the use of locally grown strawberries was a excellent call!"

Next she then moved onto Leivinia's biscuits.

"Now we have Zea and her gingers biscuits."

There were some munching.

"A little heavy on the sugar and ginger both. I couldn't eat them all day, but they work nicely as a treat!"

And with that she moved onto Agnese's chocolate cake.

"Ahh Agnese's Touma Torta." She said with a thoughtful expression. "Last Torta I had was made by Orsola..."

It was quickly devoured.

"Oh clever!" She exclaimed. "You added some raspberry flavouring to the chocolate filling. Bold, but it works!"

Finally she moved onto Itsuwa's creation.

"Castella quite a simple cake to make really." Index noted. "Yet you chose it as your weapon of choice on this battlefield."

She scoffed it down.

"And I see like a true warrior, you place your trust in well practised basic techniques over flashy novelty moves. Moist, smooth and so very bouncy! I can also taste the subtle and balanced use of the honey!

Index beamed.

"Four different and tasty deserts, it's so hard for me to choose which one is best!"

There was a long and silent moment, before Leivinia eventually broke it.

"...Wasn't the whole point of all this, that Touma would eat them and then surrender his heart to the best baker?"

The rest of the girls all stared at Index.

"But I'm a better of at judging baking skills than Touma for sure!" She exclaimed.

They all sighed.

"I guess we will have to find another..." Started Othinus, before yet another loud noise reverberated through the shopping centre.

"WE ARE TEAM GEKOTA!" Shouted a familiar sounding female voice from within the green smoke. "AND I'M A GEKOTA RANGER GREEN, FULL OF COURAGE!"

As the smoke cleared a quad of girls in Tokiwadai Middle School Uniform and different coloured Gekota Masks became clear.

"I am Gekota Ranger Pink, full of love, shouts Misaka 10039 as she makes a dramatic entrance."

"And I am Gekota Ranger Blue, full of wisdom, shouts Misaka 13577 as she also makes a dramatic entrance."

"And as Gekota Ranger Yellow, I stand for creativity, shouts Misaka 19090, as she puts a unique spin on her line like a Gekota Ranger Yellow should."

For some reason Mikoto and three of the Sisters had just made a dramatic entrance. Touma quickly found out why.

"Trust me, says Misaka 10032, as she grabs the silly boy from behind while everyone else is distracted by her sisters."

Touma quickly found a delicate hand over his mouth as he was rapidly dragged out the shopping centre with some speed before finally coming to a stop some distance away.

"You have had a rather too eventful week Misaka notes as the pair finally have a chance to hold a proper conversation alone."

Touma nodded with a sigh.

"I feel rather responsible, since it seems I triggered the cascade of events by asking you on a date on Monday, Misaka explains with a guilty expression."

She was of course as poker faced as usual in tone and expression, but Touma knew Last Order had been crying... and the other Sisters must be feeling the same, even if they had eternal poker face.

"It wasn't you fault Imouto." Touma said firmly as he took both her hands. "And it wasn't Last Orders fault either. Neither of you did anything wrong. All of this trouble is -my- trouble."

She stared at him a long moment... So he pulled her close and hugged her.

"Also you have been a brilliant friend during a insane time for me."

"A brilliant friend, Misaka says with pinkness in her cheeks."

"I'm assuming your big sister been feeling pretty bad about everything, especially everything around Shirai." Touma explained before adding. "And is trying to sort out that shopping centre mess to prove, if only a little bit, to her little sisters that she's a good person and is going to put everything right that wrong."

"She told us that she had been immature and irresponsible, Misaka explains. And that helping us with our plan was part of her 'big sister duties'."

That sounded like the Mikoto Touma knew.

"She's a good person at heart. Touma stated with a firm tone. Imouto replied with a deepening of the hug. "And tomorrow and I'm going to sort out my messes... just you watch."

And so ended my Super Sane Saturday. A day in which my romantic troubles escalated to such a level that the city authorities had to create a cover up story that the 'Go Go Goddess Girls of Justice' and "Gekota" franchises had just had a surprise public crossover event. And the story of the Gekota Rangers heroically taking on Odina, Zea, Mars in a Nun outfit and Hachiko in secret spear mode was not really a stage show, but Mikoto and her sisters bringing the other girls to there senses.

Course my Sunday you know considerably less about, as it was a far more serene day, even if everyone was running around in silly outfits! But it was a important day, a day when the power of true love was showed and what you son calls his Saintly Sunday!