Epilogue – The Diner

Later in a small coffee shop/Reastraunt down town Robin and Cyborg are about to have breakfast

Cyborg: You know I've never seen Raven like that, she handled the situation pretty well

Robin: I know, she does show true leadership potential

Cyborg: And you know she didn't get annoyed when you were criticizing her, I was amazed

The waiter then comes over with Robin's food (Pancakes with Bacon on the side) while Cyborg eats a muffin

Robin: Do you want some Bacon?

Cyborg: No way I don't eat pork anymore

Robin: What are you talking about, are you suddenly Jewish? You use to love eating pork

Cyborg: I did until I found out more info about pork, pork comes from pigs, pigs are filthy animals and I don't want to eat filthy animals

Robin: Yeah but Bacon tastes good and Pork chops taste good

Cyborg: Well a Sewer Rat may taste like Pumpkin Pie but I wouldn't know because I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfuckers, pigs sleep and roll in shit so that's a filthy animal and I don't want to eat anything that's got the mind to eat his own faeces

Robin: Well what about a cow?

Cyborg: I don't think cows eat shit, so Hamburgers are good with me

Robin: Well how about a dog, a dog eats his own faeces

Cyborg: Well I don't eat dog

Robin: Yeah but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal

Cyborg: I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they definitely are dirty, but a dog has personality and personality goes a long way

Robin: So by that rational if a pig had a personality he would cease to be a filthy animal, is that true?

Cyborg: Well we'd have to be talking about one charming motherfucking pig, I mean he would have to be ten times more charming that that Arnold on Green Acres you know?

They both start laughing

Robin: That's good, what is Green Acres?

Cyborg: it's a TV show, I'll explain it some other time

Robin: OK, you know it's good to see you've lightened up

Cyborg: What do you mean?

Robin: Well I mean you've been all serious most of the day since that incident

Cyborg: Well I've just been sitting here thinking

Robin: About what?

Cyborg: About the miracle we witnessed

Robin: You mean the miracle you witnessed, for me it was just a freak occurrence

Cyborg: What to you is a miracle Robin?

Robin: An act of God

Cyborg: And what's an act of God?

Robin: When he makes the impossible possible

Cyborg: Exactly

Robin: But I don't think this morning qualifies

Cyborg: Don't you see Robin that shit doesn't matter, you're judging this the wrong way. I mean it could have been God stopped the bullets or he changed Coke to Pepsi or he found my car keys but the point is you don't judge shit like this based on miracle. Now whether what we experienced was a miracle isn't important but what is important is that I felt God's touch and that's how I know that God got involved

Robin: But why would God get involved?

Cyborg: Well that's what's fucking with me I don't really know why, but all I know is that I won't be able to go back to sleep

Robin: So you really are thinking about quitting the Teen Titans?

Cyborg: Most definitely

Robin: Fuck, well then what's the plan?

Cyborg: Basically I'm going to use my skill to my advantage, first I'm going to give the briefcase back to the bank and then just as I said before join the Justice League

Robin: You can't just join the Justice League

Cyborg: Well I'll sure as hell try, you know become friends with them and go on adventures. Not the kind of adventures the Teen Titans have but they will be close

Robin: And how long do you intend to be a member of the Justice League?

Cyborg: Until God puts me where he wants me to be

Robin: And what if he doesn't do that?

Cyborg: If it takes forever then I'll wait forever

Robin: OK Cyborg, and what if the Justice League don't take you? You'll basically become a robotic bum with no job or life

Cyborg: Robin either way I'll be the same person, no more no less

Robin: No Cyborg, see the Justice League don't take random people like when I tried to get in I got shot down straight away. That could happen to you and then you'll be a worthless robotic man with no life or job and there's a name for that Cyborg and it's called a bum and that's what you could become man a fucking bum

Cyborg: Look Robin this is where you and I differ

On the other side of the room: GARCON, COFFEE!

Robin: Look what happened today was strange but it's not turning water into wine…

Cyborg: It's all in different shapes and sizes my friend

Robin: Don't fucking talk to me in that way man

Cyborg: If my answers frighten you then you should cease to ask scary questions

…

Robin: I'm going to go take a shit

Robin gets up to go to the bathroom but before he does he faces Cyborg

Robin: Let me ask you something, when did you make this decision while you were drinking that coffee?

Cyborg: Yes, I was eating my muffin, drinking my coffee, replaying the incident in my head when I had what alchaholics call "a moment of clarity"

Robin: Fuck, to be continued

Robin then walks away and Cyborg continues to drink his coffee while thinking about his future plans, suddenly a man stands on one of the tables with a gun

Pumpkin: Alright everyone be calm this is a robbery!

Everyone in the Reastraunt starts to panic about the situation

Honey Bunny: ANY OF YOU FUCKING PRICKS MOVE OR CALL ANY FUCKING HEROES AND I'LL EXECUTE EVERY MOTHERFUCKING LAST ONE OF YOU!

Pumpkin and Honey Bunny begin to walk around pointing their guns at people making them go into more of a panic, they go through the whole Reastraunt from the counter to the kitchen. After a whole minute of this the manager comes out to try and settle everything

Manager: OK look I'm the manager of this establishment and I would appreciate it if we could all just calm down

Pumpkin: Looks like we have a fighter here Honey Bunny

Honey Bunny: Shoot him in the face then!

Pumpkin then grabs the manager ready to shoot him

Manager: I don't want any harm, just take what you need and get out

Pumpkin: Tell that to the customers, right now!

Manager: OK, listen up everybody just give them what they want and this will all be over very quickly

Pumpkin: Good job there

Pumpkin then gets up on the counter while pulling a garbage bag out of his pocket

Pumpkin: Now listen up, I'm going to come and collect your wallets and if you don't fork them over then you'll have a bullet going through your skull are we clear? Good!

Pumpkin proceeds to go around collecting all of the wallets, meanwhile Cyborg continues to just sit there watching all of this unfold. After a few second Pumpkin gets to Cyborg

Pumpkin: Your wallet in the bag

Cyborg drops his wallet into the bag

Pumpkin: Why are you dressed like that?

Cyborg: I'm going to a comic book convention after this

Pumpkin notices the briefcase on the table

Pumpkin: What's in the case?

Cyborg: My bosses dirty laundry

Pumpkin: Your boss makes you do his laundry that sounds like a shit job

Cyborg: Funny I was thinking the same thing

Pumpkin: Hand over the case

Cyborg: I'm afraid I can't do that

Pumpkin: I'm sorry I didn't hear you

Cyborg: Yes you did, I know you did

Honey Bunny: What's going on over there?

Pumpkin: It looks like we have another fighter honey bunny

Honey Bunny: Well then shoot him for god's sake

Cyborg: Look I hate to shatter your ego but this isn't the first time someone's pointed a gun at me

Pumpkin: And if you're not careful it will be your last, now open the case or I'll unload in your fucking face. 1…2…3

Cyborg: OK dude, you win

He puts the case in front of him

Pumpkin: Open it

Cyborg enters the code on the case and opens it, a bright orange light shines on Pumpkin's face

Pumpkin: Is that what I think it is?

Cyborg: I believe so

Honey Bunny: What is it?

Pumpkin: Where did you get it?

Cyborg: I got it from the bank where is was being kept for safety

Pumpkin: It's beautiful

Cyborg: Yes it is

Honey Bunny: God damn it what is it?

Suddenly Cyborg has his arm transform into a gun and he points it at Pumpkin, Honey Bunny jumps up on a counter and aims her gun at Cyborg

Honey Bunny: YOU LET HIM GO!

Manager on ground: Quit causing problems you'll get us all killed

Cyborg: Shut the fuck up fat man, this isn't any of your goddamn business. Now tell that bitch to be cool

Honey Bunny: DID YOU HEAR ME?! LET HIM GO!

Cyborg: Tell her "bitch be cool"!

Pumpkin: Be cool Honey Bunny

Honey Bunny: LET HIM GO NOW!

Cyborg: Tell her it's going to be OK

Pumpkin: It's going to be OK Honey Bunny

Cyborg: Promise her

Pumpkin: I promise

Cyborg: What's her name?

Pumpkin: Yolanda

Cyborg: So Yolanda are we cool? We aren't going to do anything stupid are we?

Honey Bunny: Don't hurt him

Cyborg: Nobody is going to hurt anybody, we're going to be like three Fonzies and what's Fonzie like?

…

Cyborg: Come on Yolanda tell me what's Fonzie like?

Honey Bunny: Cool

Cyborg: Correct, and right now that's what we're going to be. Now Ringo I'm going to count to three and when I get to three I want you to put your gun on the table and lay your palms flat on the table and sit down, and when you do it you do it cool. Ready? One…two…three

Pumpkin then drops his gun and sits down at the table

Yolanda: OK now let him go!

Cyborg: Yolanda, I thought you said you were going to be cool. Now when you yell at me, it makes me nervous. And when I get nervous, I get scared. And when motherfuckers get scared, that's when motherfuckers accidentally get shot.

Yolanda: Just know…if you hurt him you die

Cyborg: Well that seems to be the situation, and I don't want that, you don't want that and Ringo here definitely doesn't want that, so let's see what we can do. Now here's the situation. Normally, both your asses would be dead as fucking fried chicken, but you happened to pull this shit while I'm in a transitional period so I don't want to kill you, I want to help you. But I can't give you this case, it doesn't belong to me. Besides, I've already been through too much shit this morning over this case to hand it over to your dumb ass.

At this point Robin comes out of the bathroom and points his small gun at Yolanda, Yolanda starts to panic as she doesn't know who to point the gun at

Cyborg: Robin be cool! Yolanda don't worry its cool! We are still just talking so point the gun at me

Yolanda continues to point the gun at Robin

Cyborg: Come on point the gun at me!

Yolanda then points the gun at Cyborg

Cyborg: There you go, now Robin just stay back and don't do a goddamn thing. Tell her we're still cool

Pumpkin: We're still cool Honey Bunny

Yolanda: I love you

Pumpkin: I love you too Honey Bunny

Cyborg: How are we feeling up there Yolanda?

Yolanda: I have to pee, I want to go home

Cyborg: It's Ok you're doing great I'm proud of you, and Ringo's proud of you. Tell her you're proud of her

Pumpkin: I'm proud of you Honey Bunny

Cyborg: Now I want you to reach into that bag and pull out my wallet

Pumpkin: Which one is it?

Cyborg: I got it recently, it's the one that says Bad Motherfucker

Pumpkin reaches into the bag and pulls out a wallet the says "Bad Mother Fucker" on it

Cyborg: That's it, that's my wallet now open it and take out the money

Pumpkin continues to open the wallet, takes out the money and goes to give it back to Cyborg

Cyborg: Count the money and tell me how much is there

Pumpkin counts the money then looks up

Pumpkin: It's about $1500

Cyborg: Take the money, it's yours and put the rest of those wallets on the register on your way out. Then that makes this a pretty good score huh?

Robin: Cyborg you better not give that fucking nimrod $1500 dollars or I'll shoot him on general principal

Yolanda panics and points the gun back to Robin

Cyborg: No Yolanda don't worry he's not going to do a god damn thing, Robin shit the fuck up! Now Yolanda put both your hands back on the gun and point it back at me

Yolanda pauses for a second then points the gun back at Cyborg

Cyborg: Now I'm not giving it to him Robin I'm buying something for my money, do you want to know what I'm buying Ringo?

Pumpkin: What?

Cyborg: Your life, I'm giving you that money so I don't have to shoot your ass. Do you read the bible Ringo?

Pumpkin: Not regularly no

Cyborg: There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel 25:17. "The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you." Now... I been saying' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You'd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this morning that made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. 9mm here... he's the shepherd protecting my righteous ass in the valley of darkness. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish. And I'd like that. But that shit isn't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm trying', Ringo. I'm trying' real hard to be the shepherd.

Cyborg then turns his arm back to a normal hand and sits back showing he's done with him

Cyborg: Now get out of here

Pumpkin gets up and grabs Yolanda/Honey Bunny from the counter, before they leave he puts all the wallets on the register and proceeds to walk out of the building. Cyborg sits back feeling pretty proud of himself when Robin comes up to him

Robin: I think we should get out of here

Cyborg: Yeah that's not a bad idea

Cyborg gets up and follows Robin out of the Reastraunt, Robin puts his gun in his shorts and they proceed to leave the building.

The End

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