Disclaimer: I own not a whit of the Potter Universe. It's all JK's. I wish I owned some of it, but alas, I don't.

Author's Note: Thank you all for your reviews, favorites and follows! I really appreciate it! 5 and a half years later and I'm still getting favorites and follows! No promises on a third chapter (though some of it is written, it's not nearly ready to go). Looking for a muse to bounce off ideas of where to take the story, so PM me if you're interested! Enjoy Chapter 2!

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Three days later, Harry managed to wake both Albus and Minerva at the same time. It may or may not have had something to do with buckets of water, a shriek of "VOLDEMORT," two levitation charms and a trampoline. If any of those had occurred, well, the victims would have been too busy brandishing their wands looking for the threat while bouncing wildly to have noticed a little boy giggling madly.

Hours later, McGonagall and Dumbledore stepped cautiously back into the headmaster's office looking none the worse for wear.

"Woohooo! Time to finish my story!" Harry shrieked gleefully.

"Which story?" Dumbledore asked.

"You are losing your mind! It was about me, Padfoot and my parents fainting and everything. Remember?"

"Harry, that was 3 days ago!" Minerva exclaimed.

Harry pounded the table with his fists. "You're telling me?! The two of you have been unconscious the whole damn time! It was like when I was 3 days old, aaaaallllll over again! Only this time, I had no toys to play with, no bed to sleep in, and no bathroom. You have any idea how difficult it is to convince an elf to do anything when you're 15 months old?"

"Er, Harry, no toys?" Dumbledore chuckled, sweeping his hand towards his cabinets where most of the items no longer appeared to be as he remembered them.

Blushing momentarily, then glaring at Albus, Harry snapped, "Well, whadja expect? After I finished all the books, I needed something to do!"

"Wait, when you said finished all the books..." McGonagall trailed off.

"Let me guess, you think I only looked at the pictures?" Harry sighed. "Yes Minerva, I can read. how do you think I learned to talk the way I do? Talking to Padfoot?"

"Ok, whatever. I have a story to finish!" Harry said.

"No no Harry, that story will have to wait." Seeing Harry's look of shock, Albus continued, "I know, I know, rule number one of your father's. But there's a lot we have to figure out and not a lot of time to do it."

"Fine. I guess with Mum and Da being dead and all, I can't tell on you."

"I'm sorry, Harry, so so sorry. No one imagined that Sirius would betray your parents like that. But he's being punished. He's been thrown into the highest security ward of Azkaban that exists." Albus said reassuringly.

"Padfoot's in Azkaban? Why?" Harry asked, "What does he have to do with my parents dying?"

"Harry, it's too complicated to explain now. We have to figure out where you're going to live." Minerva tried.

"I wanna live with Padfoot! That's what my parents said would happen if anything... if anything, happened to them." And with that, Harry broke down.

The elderly lady sighed with relief. So he is human after all, she thought to herself. I'm surprised it took him this long.

"Harry," Dumbledore tried.

The wailing increased.

"Albus, let the boy cry. Merlin knows he's been through a lot the past few days."

Picking Harry up, Minerva cuddled him close and cooed softly to him. Minutes later, the little boy was all cried out, and fell asleep, still in Minerva's arms.

"What are we going to do with him, Albus?" she asked quietly.

"It's obvious that 'Moony' is Remus Lupin, but I have no idea who 'Padfoot' is. I'd imagine it's either Sirius Black or Peter Pettigrew. Either way, with Peter dead and Sirius in Azkaban, it's obvious that neither will be able to raise young Harry. And with the laws as they stand now, Remus can't take him in either."

"Who else is there?"

"Lily has a sister..." Albus started.

"Don't go there, Albus. Absolutely not. I've met that woman and her cow of a husband, and I will not let Harry live with them."

"Minerva..."

"Albus, I will raise this child as my own before I let Petunia and Vernon lay eyes on him. Do you not remember how they acted at James and Lily's wedding?"

"Yes, yes, Vernon knocked over the Vienesse Table backing away from Sirius's proffered hand and Petunia blamed it on the 'magical freak' I believe was the term she used." Dumbledore chuckled at the memory. "She probably had a point where Sirius was concerned."

"Albus!"

"Sorry, but don't you think that they'd treat their own nephew better?"

"An ordinary baby, mayhap. Harry? As he is? Not a kneazle's chance in hell."

"Riiiiiiiiighttttttt..." Dumbledore acknowledged with a sigh.

"Let's wait for Harry to wake up and discuss it with him. I have a feeling he'll have what to say on the matter."

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"Are you INSANE?!" Harry shrieked. "There's not a kneazle's chance in HELL that I'd live with those deranged magical-hating lunatics! Vernon tried killing me on my first birthday!"

"Harry! Language!" Minerva snapped

Dumbledore looked shocked. "He tried killing you?"

"I crawled over and said 'Hi Uncle Verny.' He fainted and landed on me! Have you ever had 425 pounds land on you?! And then Aunt Tuney JUMPED on him screaming that he was dead. When I started screaming, she fainted too!"

"Er, so what happened next?" Minerva asked trying to fend off the headache she just knew was coming.

"I levitated them into the pool. I was just trying to wake them up, but noooooooooooooo, they didn't see it that way. They thought I was trying to drown them. Anyway, they left rather quickly after that and swore that the next time they saw any of us, they'd be holding shotguns."

"Oh, well, there goes that." Dumbledore mumbled, as his plans of blood wards, special protections and getting this precocious child out of sight and mind vanished.

"Why can't I live with Sirius?" Harry asked, pouting.

"Harry, Sirius Black is the reason your parents and Peter Pettigrew are dead." Minerva said softly.

"He killed the bastard? Really? Padfoot got Wormtail?! Woohooo!" Harry shouted excitedly.

Minerva and Albus exchanged worried glances and the obvious thought: He's excited that his parent's best friend is dead? What is wrong with this child, aside from... Everything!

"Hold on a second," Harry started. "What does Sirius have to do with my parents...dy...dying? It's all that rat's fault! HE gave away the secret!"

Jumping back as if stung, Dumbledore and McGonagall shouted, "WHAT?!"

"Again with the hearing," Harry grumbled. "What I said was-"

Albus stopped the child mid sentence. "Harry, stop. This is very important. Are you saying that Sirius wasn't the secret keeper?"

"That's right. Wormtail suggested it because he was the least well known of the Fearsome Four." Giggle. "I came up with that name all by myself."

"Oh, crap."

"Albus! In front of a baby?!"

"I know words a lot worse than that. There's sh-"

"HARRY!" Minerva and Dumbledore shouted.

"Oh, you don't like that one? There's also bi-"

"HARRY JAMES POTTER!"

Giggle.

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