She dreams about him sometimes.

Memories haunting her unguarded mind as she rested her body, taking her back to a time she cannot remember during her waking hours. Days of capture, of pain, causing the kunoichi to toss and turn in her sleep, reaching for a weapon to fight back with. But you cannot fight a figure that does not physically touch you, and Anko knows that on some levels.

That does not mean that she doesn't want to tear her former sensei to pieces for what he did to her. The physical damage was mostly done, but the psychological cracks he left her with haven't healed yet. Not after over sixteen years. And her nightmares make that nothing more then obvious, or they would if she ever confessed to suffering them.

(But she is a kunoichi, trained by a Sannin.)

(She has to be better than that.)

So instead Anko fights through her dreams, her adult mind attempting to escape from the maze of tunnels he had kept her in, gritting her teeth to keep from screaming from the pain. The mark on her neck throbs, or is she just imagining it? She doesn't know the difference, not in these dreams. All she knows is that she has to get out, that she has to kill him.

She has to kill the one who she had trusted to keep her safe, the one who has betrayed that trust forever.

But these are the better dreams.

There are dreams where he doesn't overtly hurt her, and those scare her more than anything. For what does it mean when one dreams of their former sensei, his hands on her as other men have done for missions she hates? When she dreams of him treating her as a woman, not a test subject? Anko hates herself for these dreams, for how she reacts to his touch in them, and for how she is never sure if she wants them to end.

(The mornings after are always rough, and she makes sure to go beat up some unwary genin afterwards.)

(Just to feel normal.)

In the daylight, she is freed from his influence, but once she closes her eyes to rest, she is his once more. In pain and in pleasure, she has no control over what he does to her in her dreams, just as it was in life.

And she hates it.

This ship is horrible and messed up and I really shouldn't love it as much as I do.

It's been a while, hasn't it~? Got a few incomplete things saved up, but thought I'd pop this on for old time's sake.

Also! I joined AO3! My penname is tsunwalker there, and I'm gonna upload this up there too in a bit. Anyway, hope you enjoyed~