Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Reason: for Gaanaru fanday, July 28th. Also, for the lulz.

Beta: Michelle T.

Summary: Kushina wants a baby girl because reasons, and what Kushina wants Kushina gets. For a scrawny, orphan brat with dreams too big, pink or blue really don't matter, especially when little Naruto likes orange better anyway. Gaara of the Sand may be a fearsome shinobi at fifteen, but nobody ever said he was a pro at weathering life, puberty, and the politics of physical union between states.

The more things change, the more they stay the same.

Gaanaru. Naruto with Kushina's chakra chain and barrier kekkei genkai.

Each of the numbered parts is not necessarily in chronological order. Just saying.

Chapter 5: An Old Woman Talks to a Bird

24.

When Kakashi finally got to read the new name attached to Naruto on Team 7 record, his first thought was:

She's alive?!

His second thought arrived milliseconds later.

I see. If Sandaime-sama appoints her as Naruto's specialist, then absolutely no one will be able to object to his choice. Before… and after.

Far away in Konoha, in two ostentatious private residences and one (deliberately) ominously decorated and unnecessarily spiky underground facility belonging to a shady organization named after a subterranean part of a tree, three old persons opened the envelopes bearing the updated data of Team 7 composition and saw the new name attached to one Naruto Uzumaki. Their first thought, not through sheer coincidence, was the same as Kakashi's.

She's alive?!

Meanwhile, far away in Konoha but not in the three locations above, two other old persons sneezed for absolutely no reason. One was Konoha's very own Sandaime Hokage Sarutobi Hiruzen. The other was a very old, very cranky lady with an abnormally long list of loans all recorded under the name of the first old person who sneezed.

25.

The rolled up documents came at her from behind, so quick and so out of the left field that Naruto couldn't dodge them.

"You! You… stupid, ox-headed girl!" cried the wrinkled old bint that came bearing down at her from the door of old man Hokage's office. In her hand was that offending roll of documents and with it, she whacked at Naruto's head, one, two, three times in quick succession, filling the room with a series of fwap-fwap-fwap.

"Whoa… whoa… lay the hell off you crazy old…" A stern look from old man Hokage had Naruto doing a prompt revision of her word choice. "... woman."

Scooting away from the old bint, she cried out. "What did I do to you? And who the hell are you?!"

"What did I do to you?" Snarled the old bint. "More like what did you and your stupidity do to yourself, you daft child!" Then she turned around to face old man Sandaime, her cheeks still red, and bowed.

"Sandaime-sama, my report on the physical condition of Naruto Uzumaki, as you requested," said the old woman, dropping the now crumpled documents on his desk. Then she stepped to a side, glaring sternly at the flabbergasted blonde girl.

"Naruto, I'd like you to meet Makino-san here," said old man Hokage as he unrolled the crinkly sheets of paper. "Makino-san is our chief Geneticist and foremost bloodline specialist. She was the one who cared for and watched over the physical development of your mother's bloodline abilities."

"Ex-chief," The medic, Makino, cut in with the ease of one who had done this many times before. "He meant I was your mother's handler, child." She was an old woman with a lean, wiry frame under her voluminous white robes, perhaps even older than old man Hokage himself. She had an eagle-featured face, with the skin on her cheeks folded into leathery pleats. Her grizzled hands were threaded through with green spider veins and dotted with brown liver spots. Her hair were white and fine as spider silk, held together in a severe bun. The scent of old perfume and even older people hung about her like an invisible shawl. She had one good eye. Her other eye had whited over with age. Both of those eyes were pinned on Naruto's face, her gaze sharp as a razor despite her age… or perhaps because of it. Makino wore the look of someone who might have seen the ghost of a relative. A faint hint of mingled nostalgia and disbelief. But it was gone in an instant. "I was the one who smacked Kushina into knowing when to stop abusing her own blood abilities because you Uzumaki all have cats for brains and don't know when to quit. And I will be doing the same to you, starting today."

"Wait! What?" Naruto looked incredulously from Makino to old man Hokage. "What? Is this true, old man?"

"It is, Naruto-chan. You are, regrettably, the last of your clan in Konoha. There are no surviving adults of the same bloodline to guide you through your developing years. A specialist is required to to monitor your growth and… intervene, should things veer in unwanted directions."

Naruto stared at him, sputtering. "That… that.. that is total bull! Why would I need this…" She held out both hands, gesturing in frustration at Makino. "... old crone here telling me what I can and cannot do? Before I even activated the chains, didn't those old gaffers you had for advisors also tell you I'd never be able to do it in a million years? Well, guess what! A million years happened and I have them frigging chains now! So in their faces! They ain't Uzumaki, yeah, so what the hell do they know?"

She pointed at Makino, who, incidentally, was also NOT an Uzumaki. "I didn't need them gaffers telling me what I could do back then and I sure as hell don't need this one right here telling me what I can do now!"

Against Naruto's expectations, 'the old crone' was not at all fazed by her antics for she neither sputtered with embarrassment nor fumed with indignation for having been pelted in the face with verbal rocks by a little girl. Instead, she crossed her hands and smiled wrily at Naruto.

"Feisty little one, isn't she, Hizuren-kun? Has a mouth on her, just like her mother."

A funny look passed old man Sandaime's face then. A little grimace and a knowing glint to the eyes that seemed to say 'There you went and did it Naruto-chan. I wash my hands off the both of you. Have fun pummelling each other into submission!'

And indeed Naruto's instincts were right on the money because in the next minute, old man Sandaime glanced at Makino, made a little motion with his hands as if he was dusting off something (his responsibilities perhaps, the rotten traitor of an old pervert!), and declared.

"She's all yours, Makino-san."

In answer, a horrifying grin broke out on the old medic's wizened face and before Naruto could reach for the homemade smoke bombs on her belt (For Daily Emergency Use, read the words scrawled on top the white sticky-note label), Makino had snapped out with one bony hand and grasped hold of the genin's ear.

And up Naruto went, shrieking and flailing like a snot-nosed academy kid.

"Ow ow ow! What the hell?! Cut that out!"

Out of trained reflex, her hand swung up to make a chop at Makino' arm. Her chakra sprang out, forming chains. Naruto fully expected to have this overbearing old crone on her butt in seconds, but the next thing to happen was completely out of her imagination.

Before her chains could so much as touch Makino, they had sputtered out of existence, as if they were the flickering candle flames before a strong wind. Then Makino did a funny little twist with her hand, as if sweeping with a broom, and just like that, a zap went through Naruto, bringing the genin to her knees. The jolt wasn't that painful, but it froze her entire body, making it at once stiff and all jittery.

"Think you are so—what is that world you youngsters use nowadays—awesome, do you? Think you're the hot stuff with your fancy blood limit don't you? Think this poor, old woman can't handle a dynamite little gal like you, don't you?" said Makino to Naruto, whose mouth was open wide with shock and incomprehension. "My dear…" The old medic drawled out the words with relish. "... I have dealt with rambunctious little children the likes of you all of my life. Yours is hardly the most dangerous bloodline I've had to whack into shape."

"Ow ow… Lemme go, you crone! You smelly piece of cabbage sack!" Naruto squirmed in her hold. For all that Makino only had two fingers around the tip of Naruto's ear, it felt as if she had been clamped down by steel vice and wrapped over with barbed wires. Was this some kind of messed up jutsu specifically made for old grannies?

Makino paused, eyeing the squirming Naruto with relish, then explained to the flabbergasted genin with deliberate slowness. "My own ability negates every known bloodline in the history of the ninja world… and then some. As long as I have hold of you, you can't escape my grasp."

"Well yeah! Well, good for you!" replied Naruto, before she once again tried to reach for her smokebomb, only to find her fingers reaching for thin air. Turning up, she saw them hanging from Makino's other arm, forlornly out of Naruto's reach. "You… how? When?" Sputtered the genin.

"Why are you so surprised, my dear? This is but elementary," Makino drawled, smiling wickedly at the horrified little girl (who promptly turned to look at an uproariously laughing Hokage in shock and betrayal).

"Now then, let us go some other quieter place and leave the lord Hokage to his business, shall we darling?" And with that final taunting lilt, the old medic then proceeded to drag Naruto kicking and screaming out the door.

26.

Makino Suki herself received the missive from her Hokage a good five days before this fateful meeting. She had been in bed at the time, enjoying a good book probably as old as she was when the carrier pigeon let itself in through the ceiling hatch of her forest home and made a sort of irritated clucking sound at her. Another courier beast who had never visited the house of Makino Suki probably wouldn't have made such blatantly impolite sound to one as old and highly stationed as her, but by the distinctive powder blue streak on this particular pigeon's left wing—a patterns of little heart shaped dots sitting so thickly together they appeared a unified wash of blue from afar—this one had been here before, and knew Makino for her quirks when dealing with particular leaders of the village.

It took the bird a good five minutes of clucking and general feather fluffing for Makino to even grace it with her attention. When she finally gathered enough effort to reach across her bed, untie the string from its legs and roll the note open, the message inside was short and succinct.

'Naruto Uzumaki has activated her mother's Shimenawa.

Signed: Sarutobi Hiruzen'

"Well that's fine and jolly and has got nothing to do with me whatsoever," said Makino to no one in particular as she crumpled the paper with both hands, threw it to the bin and declared to the expecting looking bird. "And off you go. I am not penning a reply to that little brat. Shoo!"

Then she got up, took a good long look at the disaster of epic proportion that was her morning bedhead, smiled smugly to herself ("Still got it, old girl! Rrrr!"), and then went to the bathroom for a good, refreshing morning wash.

The bird came back half an hour later when Makino was in the process of pouring herself some tea to go with the fresh toasted bread and piping hot omelet she had just made—with a brand new note at its feet, this one on the same tone as the first.

'Did I tell you Naruto Uzumaki also inherited the Kyuubi from her mother? Well, I just told you now.

Signed: Sarutobi Hiruzen'

The second note also went to the bin.

"And you can tell him that he ought to try harder next time, bird. There are plenty adequately certified bloodline specialists in Konoha the last time I checked, ones who are equally interested in chakra beast-ology, mind! He has no need to pull a poor, old retiree from the sanctuary of her retirement and this poor, old retiree certainly is under no obligation to answer to his cheeky requests. In the history and hierarchy of Konohagakure's old crones, I, Makino Suki of the Suki clan, outrank him! You go and tell him that, bird," said Makino as she violently shove food into her mouth while making pointed gesture at the unfortunate carrier pigeon.

The bird squawked (An impressive feat considering most pigeons only found enough temper in them to coo temperamentally at whatever was causing them distress. Then again, heaven knows what those folks at the rookery had been pairing the vanilla pigeons with.) peevishly at her, as if saying 'Well, I never! And you two should go find yourself some other poor, unsuspecting fowl to do this didly-daddly busy work for you!' before taking off in a flurry of feather and talons.

"And tell him he still owes me a peach planter for that one he smashed back in Nidaime-sama's fourth year!" yelled Makino after the much beleaguered messenger bird, prompting a long-suffering screech from it. "And the apple planter before that! And my entire field of summer melons right after his Jounin promotion! And my rose climber that one time he and that little chit Biwako were fooling around in my herb garden and were stupid enough to be caught by me with their pants down! And I still have pictures, mind! You go tell him that bird! That this Makino Suki may be getting on her age but her book keeping is going nowhere soon. If that little snot-nosed brat Hiruzen Sarutobi thinks he can browbeat me into tangling with another Uzumaki, he better remember that! You go tell him that, bird!"

The third missive came an hour later, all nicely wrapped up and slotted inside an iron cylinder with the seal of the Hokage office on its lid. The seal still had the slight haze of chakra imprinting on it… which spoke of the sensitivity of the information that might be contained within.

It called out to her like a beacon.

Makino hesitated for a second before sitting up properly. Regarding the bird and its missive, she said. "Well now, that brat has gone and pulled out the big kunai on me hasn't he? Well let's see what he has to say for himself"

She sat herself upright in her seat, hemming and hawing at the now clearly fed-up bird, but did not make any move towards it. Instead, she took her sweet time, leaving the bird to fret on the messenger bird's pole. Taking out a brush from a nearby table, she straightened out her hair before tying it up into a neat bundle. The clock on top her table read 10:25 AM and Makino was having her second tea break of that morning. The paper calendar next to it was flipped to Friday the 26th, January… with the Friday scratched out and replaced with Sunday in red permanent marker. In fact, every other day except for Sunday in Makino's calendar had been scratched out and replaced with Sunday from the first to the last page. Her life for the last several years had been one long string of Sundays after another and woe befell the fool who thought himself capable of breaking Makino Suki's eternal Sundays!

Flipping the page of the morning's newspaper, Makino leisurely set to solving the day's crossword puzzle, completely ignoring one incredulous looking bird as well as the front page news that boldly stated 'New Alliance with Wave. Konoha takes the next step to ensuring Hi no Kuni's stability and economy.'

When the bird emitted yet another disbelieving coo at her, Makono simply waved a hand at a plate filled with roasted sunflower seeds on the table without even looking in its direction.

"Well, what are you waiting for? An invitation? I'll have you know I don't speak recalcitrant messenger bird. Help yourself dear. I don't work until noon on Sunday, not unless Madara Uchiha comes back from the grave and tells me he will pay me back all the money he owes me. And that's a lot. He thinks he only owes me a penny though. Uchihas are rather bad at mathematics, do you know? All that hair on their head must be slowly asphyxiating their brains to death."

When it became apparent that Makino was not going to budge an inch on her decision, the poor messenger pigeon made a frazzled noise, as if it had resigned itself to a terrible fate, before helping itself to the roasted sunflower seeds. At least it was still paid for the down time and this was some good sunflower seed.

And so it went inside the little forest house, the old madame engrossed in her crossword game and the carrier bird engrossed with stuffing its face, until the clock struck twelve noon. Makino put the newspaper down, turned to look at the bird with one hand outstretched.

"Well, I've made him wait long enough. Now let's see what that brat has to say for himself, hmm? Hand me the scroll, bird."

The bird rolled its eyes but stuck out its leg without any further fussing or pointed feather fluffing. Without another word, Makino took the tube from it. A swipe of her chakra over the seal and it clicked open and out came… thick stacks of rolled up medical records. Unfurling one, Makino skimmed it top to bottom, froze, doubled back and read it again.

This… This is…

She turned to the other pages, read them in a frenzy.

Is that child suicidal? she thought and then reminded herself. They didn't teach the clan kids the same way they did in her time anymore. Then she stopped, berated herself. No, no, wrong one. The child had no other clan member. The Uzumaki were all dead, had been dead for decades now. She was all alone, with none to guide her but… Makino froze again, at once reminded of another Uzumaki girl child decades ago, the redhead trembling at her doorstep with a look of defiance on top of well-concealed sorrow that didn't at all fit her age. That was right after Mito-sama departed from this world. But she knew this, had expected this. What was Sarutobi's game? He knew full well mere pity would not rouse Makino from the nest of her retirement. At over eighty years old, Makino had contributed her fair share to the village. None could say that she didn't do her duty in full as a kunoichi of Konoha. She had washed her hands off the village's affairs decades ago. If even the adult Kushina couldn't bring her from seclusion, then her child daughter whose name Makino had heard but whose face she had never beheld in person would not sway the old kunoichi either.

But habits died hard, and habits formed from decades of work lasted even longer. Instead of dumping the entire stack into the nearest trashcan, Makino continued reading and re-reading the various medical records, carefully going over the details as she used to some thirty, forty years ago. The information in here, while surprising in scope and potency, was not truly unexpected. The daughter was simply exhibiting talents that the mother once possessed at a slightly more pronounced speed, that was all. Then finally, she turned the last page of the stack over. This one wasn't a medical record, but rather a status report of…

Ah… and here it was, the crux of Hiruzen Sarutobi's hook to get her out of her hermitage. No matter how hard Makino tried to forget, the sins of her past had a way of catching up to her when she was least expecting it. Makino had lived a very long life by the standards of ninja. That meant that she had left an entire legacy of mistakes and errors in her wake. And just as luck would have it, she was survived by none of her many children and grandchildren, so if she were to die now… if she were to die now without at least settling this one old debt, then there would be no successor to repair her mistake for her. The old woman went quiet and still as the implications of the page content sank in. The current council members, Koharu and Homura, with Danzo on the side. Ah, how times flew. Once those three were but snot-nosed brats who would flee at the sight of a furious Makino Suki. Now they were the ones who called the shots in the village of Konohagakure. Why, she could still remember when those little boys and girl had been wee little academy students. The days where the three of them used to run butt naked in the autumn rain seemed like they were but yesterday. Back then, whenever they misbehaved, she would give them a thorough spanking until their backsides were red raw. She wondered if she could do the same now? Just stroll right into their offices, swing them onto her knees, and proceed to spank the naughty out of them.

Leaning back on her seat, Makino Suki let out a peal of giggles. Then the giggles grew until she was laughing full-throated. Her laughter boomed in the room, ricocheting off walls and floors and ceilings, rolling like thunders in her head and shaking her old bones. The carrier pigeon gave her a dubious look, the look one would give to a person one suspected of some degree of insanity, and backed off a step.

"Oh my dear bird, my dear dear darling fowl of feathery magnificence," she shifted in her seat, still laughing now, laughing so hard she was crying a little. She felt old and brittle. She felt a joy so sharp it threatened to split the cage of her chest. She felt an aged, bone-deep sorrow welling up from the pit of her heart. She felt her wounds reopen, old memories exhumed. She felt many things, none of which were strength. "Don't be afraid of me. I'm just an old, crotchety woman at the end of her life. I have but one message for you to bring back to your master."

Her laughter quelled in an instant as Makino turned to face the bird in full, her gaze suddenly heavy with promises. A cold smile stretched the leathery skin of her face.

"You tell Hiruzen-chan… and Homura-chan, and Koharu-chan, and Danzo-chan… that their nee-sama is coming for a visit, and they better prepare their backsides, because they have been very, very naughty."

End Chapter 5

1. It's been a year since I last updated this story. Damn. Time sure flies. In my defense, I had something of a block, and then I was buried under work and the many many other stories I post here on ffnet.

2. I'm in a mood now, so the next chapter should come out soon.

3. The next chapter will cover Naruto's training under Makino (it's brutal. Naruto is in for it. Makino is no normal old woman. There's a very good reason why she was once capable of instilling the fear of gods in Koharu, Homura and Danzo), the political standoff behind Naruto's situation and why the Hokage chose Makino as Naruto's mentor. We will also explore a little bit of the Shimenawa kekkei genkai. After that, we will go straight for Chuunin exam time and Gaara!