Aurthors note:
Thank you, Sarah'sSupplyCloset, BillAtWork, and LittleCandyMan for looking at this and giving me your thoughts.

So, this was my first attempt at writing fan fiction, and my first attempt at M rated stuff. I wrote this about a year ago, and then took it done out of embarrassment— I'm sure a few of you will remember this, only I've edited out some stuff.

I very much like Charah fixes, they are my favorite thing on fan fiction. I've thought of ways to get them together early on in the show, ways I haven't seen written yet. This is my "I hate you Cole Barker" way of getting them together. I know hating Cole Barker isn't very objective, but well, I'm a Charah addict, and he is a demon in that aspect.

One more thing— I'm attempting to put music in my stories, to see how it works. It would be appreciated if you took a moment to find that music, see if it enhances your reading experience.

Chuck's Wish List

Later that evening, Chuck and Sarah were ready to turn in, both walking to the bed from the bathroom. Being in his presence made her tense a bit involuntarily, the jarring she felt from Chuck's "breaking up" with her still strongly present.

Chuck had been watching Castle earlier that day, the episode "Always" from the fifth season. While Castle was far more charming and handsome than him, he saw clear parallels between his relationship with Sarah, and Caskett's. She was the badass cop, the survivor. He was the nerdy writer, who knew all the movie references, and couldn't really defend himself. Well, he wasn't that good of a writer, but that was besides the point. Even though he was famous, he felt underachieving deep down, not truly deserving of Beckett. He sat in his pajamas all day, either doing nothing with expensive things of little true value, or writing. While he wasn't famous, he understood the other feeling perfectly.

He'd become addicted to the show. It helped with this emotional void. He always had to keep guessing with him and Sarah. Does she like? Does she not? He witnessed the exact same motions between Castle and Beckett. It was so obvious to all the other characters, how they felt. They'd been through so much, and yet every time they had chance to figure each other out, one of them freaked out. It was identical to his and Sarah's relationship, assuming she had those kind of feelings for him. Of course, getting romantic advice from a Tv show was never really a good idea, but the explanation Castle provided made perfect sense.

He'd wondering all day if he could do something similar, have his own "Four years! I've been right here!" moment. He watched her head towards the bed, about to sort out the covers. Chuck composed himself, about to put his heart on the line. He closed the door. He knew they were alone in every way, considering there was no surveillance in the room.

"Sarah can we talk?"

She turned cautiously.

"Yeah... sure."

"I've been thinking about this for while now."

"Thinking about what?"

She wasn't sure what he was about to discuss, but she was of what it might be, tensing ever so slightly in anticipation. There would be nowhere to hide if he brought up their feelings, not without hurting his.

"When you and Casey were kidnapped by Sasha Benechack, and I went to Roan for help, he was very reserved about doing it. He asked what he meant as a rhetorical question: 'Is she worth dying for?'…Well I barely had to think about it— I said 'yes'."

Oh shit. It was that kind of conversation. Her breathing sped up, her eyes began to widen, looking desperately for a way out, yet pleading deep down in secret that he was reopening their bridge. In words, the scared part of her won.

"Chuck I appreciate that you care about me, but you can't risk your life for me. I don't want you to get hurt, because your my friend and that's my job.

But She could read Chuck's eyes. He was having none of it, and she had a feeling her wall wouldn't last.

" Please Sarah, let me finish. There's also I something I said to you awhile back and I need to take it back. You're not normal Sarah. You, are amazing. You are the strongest, most amazing, and most beautiful woman I have ever met."

The fact he that was retracting his statement from the aftermath of the "Bryce re-reunion" mission made her tingle warmly, but she was still unsure about being the right girl for his normal life. She was a spy with such a tainted past, and the possibility of Chuck flashing on her was petrifying. What if he saw all the things she'd done? What would he think of her then? A trained killer, a former con-woman, undeserving of the care and affection of the Bartowski household? Oh besides the point! He was giving a very dangerous speech right now. If only she could shut him up without hurting his feelings.

"You have been through so much, sacrificed all of your innocence, helped so many, been disappointed by the people you love so many times, and yet here you are. Beneath that mask you like to wear, to kill, manipulate, and sabotage for god and country, and above all, to protect yourself from people hurting you and letting you down, is a perfect girl who deserves better than me. Whoever wins your heart is the luckiest man alive."

Goddamn him, his eloquence, and his sweetness! The tears inevitably came. Her lips started trembling ever so slightly. With every sentence he stepped closer. With every sentence her walls crumbled a little more.

"And when we watched that satellite burn up in the sky, I wished I could wake everyday to see your precious smile, that makes just everything better, in a way that I can't explain, with you in my arms.

I wished I could kiss your forehead, hold you and just rub your back whenever you're venerable and in pain, so you feel safe.

I wished I could see that happy look on your face as you wake up to realize that I made you breakfast, when it's good of course.

I wished I could bring you Gardenias, a necklace, or some earrings, just because.

I wished I could make you some tea when you have a cold."

Tears now began building up in his eyes with the latter of his wishes, the most delicate, the most powerful.

"I wished I could give you everything you need.

I wished I could be your home.

I wished I could be the best boyfriend, lover, or what ever you want to call it that I could be for you.

I wished…"

His voice started to break.

"that a nerd like me could make you happy."

That a nerd like me could make you happy…

The center of his insecurities, and one of the things he didn't realize she loved about him, because he made her feel like a real girl…feel loved.. She wanted to yell. You do make me happy…

Background music—This Year's Loving—David Gray

Standing right In front of her, he took her hands in his, with his newfound confidence, and the emotionally tumultuous look on Sarah's face.

"And so my question to you:...Sarah Walker, wether in Russia, Portugal, Burbank, Jakarta, karate chopping bad guys in an alley, or quelling a revolution with a fork, will you permit me the honor of loving you as best as I can?"

It was too much. If Sarah's goal had been to maintain a wall between her and Chuck at this moment, and a professional relationship, then she was completely and utterly screwed.

How could she respond to that, the emotion in his voice? It was sappy, but it was the kind of sappy that Chuck could pull off perfectly. It was the sweetest, most heartfelt, and most romantic thing anyone had ever said to her, and most importantly. It was the man she loved so much it scared her to say it, the man from whom she didn't deserve this. She was frankly amazed that he even had the confidence to say something like this, after all the angst she'd caused in whatever their relationship was. It made her want to cry, he was essentially giving her another chance, and another. He wouldn't give up on her. Bryce wouldn't have ever meant it with the conviction that Chuck did, even if he had said something like it, and Cole was just looking at her like a challenge and a trophy hook-up. How pathetic was it she that even considered accepting his courtship?

Her spy instincts told her to put him down so that he wouldn't put her ahead of the mission, or to exploit his vulnerability as a method of control. Right now though, she couldn't do any of those things. One would hurt them both, the other would hurt her since she would be using him. They had been crying as much the other. Then she realized, she could never just walk away from Chuck, the only man she'd ever really loved, not like this. So she did the only thing she was emotionally capable of, that was so messy, scary, and convoluted, but somehow made sense—showing him she loved him.

She decided to show him just how bluntly parallel their wishes were that starry night. She hadn't quite thought of tea, but she would be more than happy to add that to the list. Thank god Casey had the surveillance in this room deactivated.

To hell with protocol…To hell with professionalism…

She pulled her hands out of his. Chuck was instinctively scared that she was rejecting him, but his fear was quelled immediately after. She instead used her hands to grab the back of his head, and forced him into a hungry passionate kiss

Her tongue demanded entry into his mouth, and he happily obliged, pulling her flush to him. As their tongues battled for dominance to the melody of their moans, she jumped up slightly, rapping her legs around him, and leaned back to throw him off balance, in a successful attempt to make him stumble with her on the bed.

As Chuck settled over her, he broke the kiss and pulled back gazing still teary-eyed with a happily questioning expression.

They were both on fire from all the sexual tension, waiting to be snapped like a thick metal wire being pulled beyond its tolerance. Sarah, caught in the mind-blowing emotional haze of their foreplay could still think clearly enough to wonder what the hell he was doing stopping.

"Sarah are you sure?"

Sarah was simultaneously turned on by the sweetness of the question, and annoyed by the delay it was causing, but she was still teary-eyed from his speech, and their love set free. She replied, her voice breaking slightly.

"Chuck, love me as best as you can."

Chuck simply gave her his goofy smile. Now was the time to call the knowledge from that book Awesome gave him. It was book written by doctors on how the nervous system and sex organs interact in times of arousal. It was like the textbook for sex. He had sneaked it to Chuck, as a gift in case he ever got nervous in bed with Sarah, or in his actual words,"in case he wasn't sure how to keep it awesome." It was awkward as hell for Chuck, but thank god he had gone through it. He began sensuously peppering kisses across her face, He moved down the side of her neck. His attention to detail with her was rewarded with a pleasantly surprising moan as he found the sensitive spot on her neck.

"Clothes...off..now.", She said with a shaky voice yet demanding voice.

Chuck didn't need to be told twice. He scrambled out of his shirt while she gave him a head start with his pants, swiftly undoing the knot on his pajama pants. He helped her pull down both his boxers and his pants.

He planted his hands next her sides and leaned on them as leverage to kick off the remainder of his clothes. As he did so Sarah already pulled off her shirt, leaving her in nothing but a bra and panties.

Chuck froze for moment gazing in awe at this blonde goddess, who was actually stripping for him, and not for fear death by chemical music box. She giggled, reveling in the effect she had on him, and grabbed his head down to hers for another passionate kiss.

After a few seconds he went back to giving her a kiss-down, her arms and hands holding him close by his mid-back. Sarah began to pant as he worked her shoulders, her collar bone, and the area surrounding each breast.

Sarah shifted so she could quickly take off her bra, and nodded down at her legs. Chuck got the signal, moved back, and smoothly pulled down her panties in one motion with both hands.

Both of them now completely naked, Chuck went back to work, sucking on and kissing all the soft beautiful skin covering her abdomen and the underside of her breasts.

Sarah interrupted pulling his head up to meet his eyes. She gave him a stare filled with desire, love, adoration, and hunger, all in one.

"Chuck, please. I need you inside me.", she said in an ever more shaky and throaty voice.

Chuck kissed her on the lips, and followed with one to her forehead. He denied her request breathily and tenderly.

"Sarah, this is our first time. I want to make it special for you. I want to make it last. Please."

As much she felt the need for him to ravage her, she couldn't but grin hazily and oblige at his sweetness. To keep herself from interfering with Chuck's attempt at pleasuring her, she kept her arms above her head. Why did Bryce have to show up when Chuck was going to successfully work the Montgomery on her? Why wasn't it her who kissed him instead when they and Jill saved everyone at that conference? Why hadn't she moved on Chuck in the shower? Why couldn't she just stay that one night with him in the suburbs? Why didn't she fight for him when he broke up with her? Why hadn't she gone down this path earlier? The answer was so simple, and now it pissed her off.

She had been trying to fight a losing battle to stop herself from being compromised. She had been afraid of getting hurt by making herself vulnerable to Chuck. As she laid there, allowing herself to be submissive to a man who would never take advantage of her, one word rang through her mind: stupid, stupid, stupid. That was the reality behind the reasons she pushed him away, and now she knew that the "safe" lonely path that her life had been a poor choice compared to what she was starting to feel right now: happy. Satisfied. Complete. Alive.

How she was starting to feel in this moment with her Chuck and from that point on was all that mattered now. She was risking being reassigned right now, but she'd crossed the rubicon. Screw the NSA, screw the CIA. Chuck Bartowski loved Sarah Walker. Sarah Walker loved Chuck Bartowski, and thanks to him she now knew what to do about. She was falling, the hardest yet. The fall was going to ruin her protective shell, the one her father, Graham, and Bryce carefully made her over the years. And the pain? The most satisfying yet.

What little thought process she had left was erased as Chuck kissed all the surface area of a breast. Her squirming, gasping, and moaning increased as he took the nipple in his mouth, rolling his tongue around it, while massaging the other breast with his other hand, rolling its nipple between his fingers. He alternated breasts. If Chuck hadn't stated his intentions so sweetly, she wouldn't have had any will power to keep herself from flipping him over and taking control. He left her breasts alone and moved down to her hot center, trailing kisses all the way. Sarah shuddered as he reached the edge of her abdomen. He stopped and moved down to the end of her legs, kissing his way up both thighs, finishing one before the other. Sarah spread her legs wide in anticipation. Chuck centered his mouth at her folds, and kissed it. Sarah gasped and arched her back. It took all the training and self-restraint she hard left not to straddle him right then and there. She had secretly dreamt of this moment, the tenderness and caring of his touch… but This was better than anything she could have imagined. Chuck swirled his tongue around her folds, and did a circle around her bud when his tongue came there. Sarah was now moaning, shuddering, convulsing and whimpering uncontrollably, desperately trying to keep her arms down and away from Chuck.

Chuck was impressed with himself as his way's of pleasuring Sarah that he put together after what he read were working. He was also floating in happiness, knowing that one of his wishes was coming true (one of which he did not mention in his little speech): he was able to sexually satisfy the woman he loved, the amazing goddess of a spy, Sarah Walker.

"Chuck..Please…"

"Almost there baby".

The way Chuck had called her baby increased her desire to turn the tables the same way it made her more willing to put up with Chuck's intense teasing—for now. He dragged his tongue upwards along her folds in one slow stroke, triggering another major convulsion from Sarah.

"Oh..Chuck..I'm gonna..Come soon", she said, trying to keep her breathing under control.

Chuck waited a few seconds for Sarah to calm down a little, so he could give her a even more powerful orgasm than what she had just expected. He then put his index and middle finger in her folds to touch her deep insides, where the book had said it would be most sensitive. Sarah was basically thrashing at this point, and all her cries became unintelligible, except for when she cried his name. He waited a few more seconds, and then enclosed his mouth on her bud, and sucked in sync with stroking her insides with his finger. Her eyes rolled back, and she saw stars. Sarah finally came… incredibly hard. She gave one prolonged cry. She arched and threw back her head. Her thighs crashed together on his head, and her hand shot forward to pull roughly on his hair, forcing him further more into her folds. Since the surprise from her reaction made him push up more against her, and suck on her even more, she came harder still. He kept at it until Sarah came down. By then she was breathless and utterly limb.

For Sarah, good was an understatement for what just happened. Her eyelids were droopy. She could hardly move her legs, or anything. None one had done for her what Chuck just did, not with this much attention to her own pleasure. God, how pathetically in love she was with this man, and that just made it all the more special. It was that realization alone that made her grin stupidly and tear up a little, despite her current condition.

Chuck was on top of the world knowing he had just given Sarah what looked and sounded like record pleasure. He chuckled in admiration by how adorable and peaceful she looked tired out from sex…How vulnerable…And he would happily protect her in the way he could best…He moved up and hovered over her, so he could kiss her forehead. She hummed pleasantly in response. Her eyes opened, and to his amazement she still had the energy to pull down his head so they could kiss tenderly.

"How..Was..It?", he asked in-between kisses.

He clearly didn't see the mischievous glint in her eye, being distracted by the kissing, otherwise, he just might have been able to predict Sarah's next move.

"Do You…honestly…Think..You Can..Do that…to me..and be…allowed…to..sit up…strait."

Just as Chuck was beginning to put together the meaning her words, she throw her legs around him, and flipped him under. Conveniently, his erection was still going. She quickly positioned herself over his length, and dropped down with a loud long gasp, as her clitoris crashed into his pelvis. She began a pattern of grinding into him, sitting up just enough that he didn't come out with each rotation. Chuck didn't join in on her thrusts just yet. He was still dazed by how good it felt. It wasn't like he hadn't had sex in a long time considering Jill, but this was Sarah Walker, the woman he had guiltily fantasied about throughout the past year and a half. This was the woman he was desperately in love with, and whom as far as he could tell now loved him back. The way he was spending his night with Sarah was most magical night of his life. He had never experienced anything more beautiful than right now. He had every right to be dazed. But he should at least catch up at some point. At the fourth thrust, Chuck met Sarah, who gasped in pleasurable surprise. They did this several times, until they both decided they should both be a tittle more intimate. Chuck and Sarah leaned forward at roughly the same time. Sarah wrapped her arms around Chuck's neck, her legs around his his hips, and Chuck loosely hugged her, so as to allow her enough room to thrust, yet close enough to whisper each others names, and stare deeply into each others eyes. She essentially sat in his lap. To just say he was holding her was to simplistic. He was shielding her tenderly, as she revealed herself to him, every vulnerability, every crack, every scratch, every smooth surface. For a moment, Chuck took one of her nipples into his mouth, causing Sarah to gasp again on top of the moans. They sensed each other's coming to the edge through a connection and a trust that ran so deep, they might as well have been married for over twenty years; they now understood the magic of sex with the one you love.

"Together?", Chuck asked breathlessly.

"Together.", Sarah moaned in agreement.

Paying attention to each other's moans and instinctive reactions to each other's thrusts, they adjusted their personal tempos, so as to ensure they came together. Once they felt they were in sync, they rode each other out till orgasm, and kissed passionately. It was a lot of work, but to feel each other in every possible, it was well worth it. They both came and cried at roughly the the same time. Chuck buried his face in her neck with the words, "I love you Sarah", pumping with what little strength he had left. Making her feel the words would never be enough for him. Sarah threw her head back, her climax seemingly reinforced with his final statement, thrusting and grinding with what little energy she had left. Chuck fell backwards onto the bed with Sarah in his arms, their heads landing at the pillows. Sarah readjusted herself so that her face rested in the crook of his neck, her left arm hugging the side of his chest, her right arm lazily resting flat on his left, and her left leg tangled between his legs.

Neither could be happier at the moment, Chuck because he just made love to Sarah Walker, and Sarah because she just made love to Chuck Bartowski. However, it was a bit different for Sarah. This was the first time she made love. This was the first time she had sex as a way of expressing love, the way Chuck had just used it. She didn't need to hear him say it, she could feel in the way he moved with her, the way he touched her. God… The way he touched her…

Most importantly for them both, the emotional tension was gone, their feelings out in the air.

Sarah started the pillow talk, speaking into his neck.

"Where did you learn to do that?", she said dreamily. She wondered if it was Jill. If so, forgiving her might not be so hard to do. Chuck blushed, and she noticed. This story should be interesting.

"Awesome gave a me a book around Christmas time".

This was interesting. Sarah furrowed her eyebrow and gave a sly smile. Perhaps it shouldn't have mattered, but it satisfied her though, knowing Jill didn't nor ever would experience what she just had with Chuck.

"Awesome gave you a book on sex. That must have been awkward".

Chuck chuckled a little nervously. He began drawing circles on Sarah's back with his upper hand. She sighed contently, closing her eyes for a moment, looking to forward how to much she would enjoy the little sweet things from Chuck, like this.

"Oh yeah. He gave it to me as a gift in case I had quote,'trouble keeping things awesome.' He thought he was looking out for our then non-existent sex life."

As they both took in the full meaning of "then non-existent sex life", they instinctively clung tighter to each other, as if time for them to be together could be running out.

"It was a book written by doctors about the interaction of the nervous system with sex organs during arousal."

Sarah quickly came to a conclusion. There was no way he would've performed on her that well unless…

"You went through the book and have been imagining since then, using what you read about on me"

Chuck blushed. It was so adorable, she had to giggle.

"Based on the way you jumped at me, like you haven't".

It was Sarah's turn to blush a little. "Ok…well you may be right about that".

She wasn't going to mention that hadn't really learned her skills from a book. This was not the time for that kind of conversation. Chuck grinned, feeling good about the idea of Sarah Walker fantasizing about him. Sarah felt it, and grinned in turn, wondering why she'd blushed in the first place.

He shifted slightly, turning his head and cradling her face in his upper hand, looking into her eyes.

"I love you".

Sarah smiled, his favorite smile, the kind he wished to wake up to, and kissed him tenderly. I would be nice to hear it back, but he understood that he wouldn't be, at least not yet, and wasn't going to press the issue. However, Chuck wanted to hear about Cole from her.

"Hey, I know this kind of stupid thing to ask considering what just happened, but I feel like I have to hear it."

Sarah lifted here head to meet his eyes, curious, and slightly worried.

"Where do you stand with Cole".

She couldn't help but grin, knowing that phase was over.

"Chuck, I'm laying here in your arms naked. I think that answers your question."

That all got a equal smile, but he still wanted to know about that kiss.

"What about the kiss?"

Sarah smile faded, and she looked down, away from his eyes. Her voice was weighed down with shame and reflected pain.

"You saw that…I'm so sorry. I should never have let him kiss me."

Sarah looked back up at him, desperate for forgiveness. She'd done it to him again. Yet he hadn't stopped smiling, it had only changed to that of adoration and concern.

"After you broke up with me, I was feeling vulnerable. Cole was sort of a desperate emotional rock. The kiss was just me with my guard down. Cole means nothing to me."

She smiled again because of what she was about to say next.

"Besides, he isn't the suave, sweet nerd I have happily permitted the honor…"

She took a deep breath, because she hadn't yet gotten used the feeling of those words in her mouth, even though the feeling was so good.

" of loving me."

Chuck gave her his prized goofy smile. They kissed tenderly. However, There was one more issue they had to talk about.

"We broke the rules.", he stated as his smile disappeared.

Shit. Sarah's smile faded, thinking about the consequences, and once again grateful there was no way Chuck's heartfelt speech could've been recorded, nor their cries of passion. Their first time was impulsive, and it would make it much harder to secretly date. It was time for the serious talk.

"We have to be very careful now Chuck. The fact that we've slept together for real might not go unnoticed. We'll both be glowing, and the tense air between us is gone. I don't think we'll be able to the hide the fact that we've had sex. If that's what it comes down to, I'm going to have to convince Beckman and the people above her that I think it's become a good idea to use sex to control you as an asset. Especially important, is I have to act emotionally unaffected by it. The only thing that can have changed about me is having no sexual frustration. That also means we have to stay away from the cameras for anything intimate. Do you understand what I'm telling you Chuck?"

"Because of if we don't you get reassigned?".

Sarah smile faded again. She clung tighter to him with the word "reassigned".

"If they decide I might be compromised, they'll call in a 49B, which like is an inspector, you know, like making sure a restaurant kitchen is sanitary, that kind of thing. Except in my world, inspectors are used to report on the effectiveness of spies. The 49B is sent to see if there are any liabilities caused by a compromised asset or handler. If they find any, that means reassignment."

That note brought back one of Sarah's fears that had been pushed away in the throes of passion. Could she keep him safe with this kind of relationship?

"That reminds me. Chuck, no more repeats of the Banacheck Buymore rooftop incident, the Christmas hostage situation, or the exploding nerd herder. And Cole was absolutely right when he told you not to risk your life for him."

Chuck looked at Sarah in dismay.

"Sarah I can't stand watching you fighting alone and getting hurt, and I can't just let morgan get blown up!"

Sarah had tears building up in her eyes now, and soon she might start sobbing, imagining the very real possibility of Chuck's death. She'd already experienced what it was like to believe he died— twice. Her voice started breaking.

"Chuck, you're heroic and I love that about you, but I can't have risking your life the way you have. What if one time, you're unlucky, and I have to find out or watch? Do you…have…any….idea—".

She recollected her self a little

"What it would do to me if you died? I…I don't think I'd have the will to live. I…I can't loose you Chuck…I just can't. I…I've already watched you die twice, when Mr. Colt dropped you off the roof, and when the nerd herder blew up and I thought you were inside. At least when Mr. Colt dropped you, I could focus on trying to rip his head off, and not have to face the fact you were…gone."

Sarah still had red eyes and dry tears on her cheeks, but she took a couple of deep breathes, sniffled, and recomposed herself.

"Chuck please. Don't ever put me through that again."

Chuck, hating to watch her in pain from mentally reliving those moments cradled her head with his hands and kissed her forehead. He hugged her tightly with eyes closed, one of his hands gently and firmly pressing her tear-streamed face into the crook of his neck, hoping that that the way he held her would make her feel safe. She obliged for a few seconds, but then she pushed away a little to look him in the eye with daggers. She spoke firmly and authoritatively.

"Chuck, promise me you will leave the heroics to me and Casey, unless I say otherwise."

Chuck was scared right now, and a little turned on. Sarah felt that poking her, and she would be much more amused in different circumstances. In one swift move, Sarah sat up, reached behind, and not so gently grabbed at his genitals. Chuck stiffened and groaned in discomfort. Her voice raised in intensity. One thing they both knew is that one could not simply scare him from trying to save to the day.

"Chuck, promise me. I will withhold sex and be cold to you if that's what takes".

If she just waited a second, she wouldn't have needed to make threats. They were quite serious, but not even withholding sex and a cold shoulder, especially when he knew she loved him, could keep him from trying to come to her rescue. He responded with equal firmness, despite the discomfort between his legs.

"Sarah…I love you… that means you could literally put me in the dog house, or break my finger… I'd still come for you. There ain't no Mountain high enough, no valley deep enough, no plain far enough. Rivers and Roads Sarah, Rivers till I reach you."

Sarah should've have been pissed he wasn't promising. Well she was pissed, but she couldn't help but be deeply moved by his words.

"But yes Sarah, I promise."

Sarah felt relieved. She released a breath she didn't know she was holding, let go of his groin, and moved back to her previous, far more comfortable position. Chuck however had something of his own to say. He gently lifted her face to meet his eyes, but his gaze was abnormally intense, which scared Sarah a little. He spoke with an authority he very rarely had.

"But just to make myself clear, if you are out in the cold, there is nothing, absolutely nothing I won't do to get you out. I don't give a shit if the U.S. government is in my way, or if I can't flip someone over, or shoot strait, or you if intend to give me the cold shoulder because I put myself at risk. If you are in trouble Sarah and can't get out yourself, I will find you. I will unleash whatever storm I can, and I won't stop until I know you're safe. That is non-negotiable…"

Sarah wasn't sure how to respond that statement along with the last one. She was so deeply moved by such dedication, to the point of tears perhaps, but of course she wasn't standing down on this one. She gave a him a firm look and spoke cooly.

"Ok fine, but only if I'm really if in that much trouble. Deal?"

They both stared into each others eyes with firm and un-breaking confidence.

"Deal."

Over the past few minutes of discussion, they'd built up enough tension for something like angry sex. Reading each others faces, they practically attacked each other's lips simultaneously. Chuck flipped her over, and began kissing her down, starting with the side of her neck in the same special spot. Sarah moaned, and was too impatient this time to wait for Chuck to finish with the foreplay. In one swift motion, she wrapped her legs around his hips, and managed to pull herself strait into his length. As she completed the move, they both gasped in pleasant surprise, not really knowing that the move was possible. Neither delayed, nor did the moaning stop. Chuck began thrusting his hips, and Sarah almost immediately met them. Chuck rapped his arms underneath her, and she dug her fingers into the small of his bag. In accordance with their thrusts, Chuck kissed and sucked on her shoulders and neck. Sarah leaned her head back to grant him better access. He then kissed his way down her breasts, where he took a nipple in his mouth, sucking and rolling his tongue around it, making her moan louder. Sarah managed to keep grinding and thrusting back at him, while arching her back as to push her breasts more into his face. After going at this for sometime, they both sensed the coming orgasm.

"Chuck…I'm…gonna…come…soon.", she said breathlessly.

"Me..too..Sarah."

As they came closer and closer to finishing, Chuck moved back up to kiss her without breaking rhythm. One might call it beautiful just how determined he was with his stamina. As they reached the edge, Chuck reached down with one hand to flick and rub her, so that she would come down twice as hard. Sarah for the last time that night, saw stars, and her world spun hopelessly…Wonderfully… hopelessly… She involuntarily convulsed, threw her head back, and arched her back, all while still managing to work her hips on Chuck, losing momentum with each cycle. Chuck followed gradually losing his tempo. With what little strength he had left, he eased himself out of her, and rolled over on her right side, spent.

Sarah was once again the first to speak despite droopy eyes and limited oxygen.

"Maybe I should thank awesome for giving you that book."

"Do you really want to?", asked Chuck, still trying to catch his breath, and imagining just how awkward that could be.

Sarah came to the same conclusion.

"….No..Not really."

"Was Bryce this good?"

That was totally the wrong timing for that question, but it was too late. Sarah's response was surprisingly irritation and hurt free.

"Oh hell no…Not even worth talking about at this point."

Chuck was relieved to have gotten off so easily from that, not to mention he'd just outdone Bryce with Sarah in the sex department, even if he wasn't as suave, muscular, or "spy" skilled.

Bryce Larkin:1

Chuck Bartowski: 2

Sarah moved back to the position she'd spent most of her time in that night.

"Sarah, what if they call in a 49B?"'

The resurgence of the topic made Sarah instinctively tighten her hold on Chuck.

"You act normal, and I act unattached."

"While that's not going to be an easy task, is it that simple?"

"No. It could go either way, but we do the best we can."

Chuck gently cradled Sarah's head in his hand, looking into her eyes.

"And if you get reassigned?"

The thought brought almost brought tears to Sarah's eyes.

"We keep in touch, and eventually run if the intersect isn't out soon."

Sarah felt increasingly vulnerable as he asked her next question. Was Chuck willing to give up everything for her? No she couldn't him ask to do that. Just another reason why she was just complicating his life unfairly.

"Chuck…If we run, we have to go completely off grid, and may never be able to stop running. You probably won't see Ellie, Morgan, Awesome, or any of your friends ever again, or until the government stops caring about you…Would you…Be ok with that?"

Chuck thought carefully. How could he just leave his family behind like that? He couldn't just leave Ellie the way his parents left them. She'd raised him, been there for everything. She deserved so much better. But then again, he couldn't imagine his life without Sarah, not without an immeasurable amount of pain and depression, and he wasn't going to disappoint her the way her father and Bryce did. He would make it up to Ellie and Morgan somehow. Perhaps he could leave her a note or something. So there was his answer. He chose Sarah.

Sarah was increasingly scared with every second that he spent thinking. Her breathing sped up little by little. If he chose to stay, she'd feel inevitably hurt, but it would be totally justified. That's probably what he was going to chose, he was just looking for the most gentle way to put her down.

"Yes—."

What?

"…I'd be ok with that."

Sarah was pleasantly shocked.

"But Chuck, what about Ellie and Morgan, and Devon?"

"I'll find a way to make it up to them. I can leave Ellie a note or something couldn't I?"

"..I..Guess we could figure something out."

Sarah's smile grew with every second passing "yes"; he'd just made clear that he was her guy, and he was going to stick with her.

"Besides what kind of shoddy job would I be doing of loving you if I didn't come with."

That received a chuckle. They kissed slowly and passionately for several seconds. It was bit ironic that Sarah was the one to ask the next question, a bit shyly. Spies never really properly labeled relationships, let alone had them, so she wasn't sure what to think.

"So what does this make us? Boyfriend and Girlfriend?"

"That would be a simple, legally, and grammatically appropriate way to put it, but for how I feel about you, that seems too trivial.

She grins.

"I'm not sure, I mean I guess maybe it fits. I've never really been in normal relationship, and I've never really seen one apart from Ellie and Devon, or Morgan and Hannah."

"You don't consider us normal? I think madly in love more or less qualifies as normal.", Chuck asked with a smirk.

"Well come on Chuck, how is spy who can hardly express herself, who isn't allowed do this with an asset, and a civilian with supercomputer in his head normal?"

"Well your right, thats not normal, but it makes for one hell of a story at a party or dinner—"

Sarah glared at Chuck with "story", dinner, and party in the same sentence.

"—that no one will ever hear about, since it's top secret.", he quickly added in a babble, at which Sarah had to giggle.

"Well our relationship may not be normal, but it's made me happier than my normal ones."

Sarah, understanding the value Chuck placed on a "normal life", was deeply moved by that statement, and responded with his favorite smile. Unfortunately, that same statement reminded her of all the goddamn bimbo brunettes she had to watch enjoy his company, and his mouth.

…Ok, fine it was only two…So What! They were brunettes and they stole his goofy smile from her!

Sarah scowled at those memories. She brought this up in a stern voice.

"Hm..Chuck that reminds me, no more brunettes, because its those who always get in our way."

Chuck was scared, holding up his hands in surrender, but unwittingly went on the defensive.

"Hey, that's just a coincidence, and it was only two."

Sarah's expression only hardened with the mention of "coincidence" and his mistake of noting her implied error in counting, an icy stare that would even make a angry determined Jack Bauer go pale and tremble.

"Besides, I prefer blondes.", he babbled nervously.

Sarah expression softened…slightly.

"And of those blondes I have permanently chosen Sarah Walker.", he added with an absurdly cute hopeful smile.

Permanently…Sarah Walker…

Those were the only words that rang out to her. Her adoring smile returned, and Chuck could exhale in relief. They kissed slowly and passionately one last time. Sarah reached over to turn off the lamps, then she settled back in to her new favorite position. Chuck turned his head and whispered into her forehead

"Goodnight Sarah."

He kissed it.

"I love you."

She grinned with a quiet content sigh. She had been spoiled now for anything less than Chuck's love in and out of the bedroom. She'd become addicted and didn't even know it. Who'd've thought— The "Enforcer" loses her independence to the drug Chuck Bartowski. God help her if she can't get a fix… And god help he who holds it out of her reach…

This would be the best Chuck had slept since the day his mom didn't come home, the best in over a decade and a half. Tonight a nerd like him kissed the forehead of the beautiful world class spy Sarah Walker. Tonight a nerd like him held her in his arms, and made her feel safe. Tonight a nerd like him had been the best lover he could be for her. Tonight a nerd like him made Sarah Walker happy. And tomorrow, he would wake to see her smile…that just made everything better. They say be careful what you wish for, but for the first time, there was nothing he wanted to treat with such delicacy, other than her trust— the trust that he would love her, the trust he would care for her in all the ways no other man bothered to. The trust he would never, ever leave her. It was real.

This would be the best Sarah had slept since she left with her father. Tonight she learned to trust the sweetest man in the world, Chuck Bartowski, with an intimacy she didn't even know existed. And tomorrow she would finally wake in the destination she'd hopelessly and tirelessly traveled to in the limbo of her dreams— safe and sound, in his arms, shielded from betrayal, abandonment, indifference, and disappointment. Knifes, fists, bullets could scrape her bones, but no one could ever truly hurt her. It was real.

It would always be real.

Aurthor's note: If you read all the way to this note, thank you.

Please review, let me know how I did. I'm an insecure writer when it comes to this. Please be detailed if you can.

I hope this wasn't too cheesy?