So you guys wanted a next chapter, here you go! I think this'll be it though :) I hope you like it and just a note, MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING I guess if you have depression/ self harm it might not be the best thing to read.

"Emma?" Regina called out when she entered the mansion, heading straight to the kitchen. The house was scarily quiet and Regina tried to prepare herself for the worst. There was a light by the kitchen, and so she followed it, hoping Emma really was just getting a drink or more food for her bottomless pit rather than something sharp.

Regina held her breath as she pushed the door open, but let it out just as quickly at the innocent scene. She was met with Emma shakily trying to remove the cork from the bottle, clenching her jaw tightly to try and stop tears falling. "Emma?" she whispered, going right over to the blonde, rubbing her back before Emma threw herself at Regina, wrapping her tightly in her arms as a fresh wave of tears hit her. "Oh baby."

Regina pulled Emma into the embrace and cradled the blonde's head. She peppered her forehead and hair with little kisses, so relieved the blonde hadn't done anything bad to herself- that she could yet see. She hadn't been this bad since the pair had met. Emma clung tightly to her brunette and mumbled apologises.

All Regina could do was hold her close, assuring her everything was okay and that the monsters were only in her head, they weren't real. Eventually Emma pulled away, hiccuping and rubbing her eyes.

"M'sorry, R'gina," she mumbled, grabbing her hand and placing kisses all over it. Emma noticed now that Regina hadn't even removed her shoes, which made more tears form. "You- you have your shoes on?" She knew the mayor hated wearing her heels longer than necessary. Emma also knew that Regina usually removed them in the car and walked barefoot up into the mansion.

Regina couldn't help but chuckle, nodding her head. She moved her hands to cup Emma's face, smiling at her. "Of course, silly," she tapped Emma's nose with her finger. "You needed me," she said simply, placing a kiss on the blonde's mouth. "Come on, let's go to bed," she whispered when Emma started crying again. The blonde grabbed the bottle of cider and let Regina lead the way, but not before the brunette kicked her shoes off at the bottom of the stairs.

"Won't that annoy you?" Emma asked quietly, but Regina shook her head.

"No, because I did it for you," she answered back, her thumb rubbing Emma's hand gently.

Emma closed her eyes and sucked in a deep breath. She had to stop her tears. Regina tugged her hand and the two ascended the stairs. "Can you wait for me in the bedroom?" Regina asked, cupping Emma's face again.

It was a simple gesture, but one that both knew calmed the other the most. It blocked off their view to the rest of the world and left them with only each other in sight. It was a simple way of blocking out the monsters in Emma's head. The blonde nodded, leaning in to Regina's touch.

"I'll be one minute, darling," she whispered, kissing her again before slipping into the bathroom.

Emma climbed into their bed, grabbing Regina's pillow and hugging it tight to her. It still smelt of her. She dropped the cider bottle in the middle of the bed and wrapped Regina's pillow around her torso, hiding her face in it.

She focused on remembering everything she had ever learnt through therapy and reading and research and doctors, but nothing was getting rid of this... sadness? Darkness? creeping through her. Emma hated it. No matter what she thought of, no matter how many images of Regina she could see at once, the blonde still felt awful.

Taking deep breaths, in and out, slow and steady, repeatedly. When Regina came back into the bedroom, Emma hadn't noticed that twenty minutes had passed. All she knew was that she had finally calmed down enough to not cry when she saw Regina.

"Hey," the brunette said as she placed her clothes in the wash bag.

"Hey," Emma replied hoarsely, patting the bed beside her. "Be my big spoon?" she asked hopefully. Regina grinned, happily crawling into bed.

Regina opened her arms and Emma snuggled into her. Emma hummed in contentment, holding Regina's hands up to her middle. They lay in silence for a moment before Regina asked the question Emma knew was coming.

"Want to talk about it?" Emma wasted time playing with Regina's fingers. Rubbing each one gently, locking them with hers, kissing each one as she thought of a careful answer.

"I missed you?" she tried, tilting her head to smile sheepishly. Regina rolled her eyes, but returned the smile, kissing her head.

"Maybe, but missing me has never made you so sad," Regina reasons with a bop to Emma's nose, that makes the blonde scrunch her face up adorably.

Emma sighed and shrugged, rolling over to be face to face with Regina. They were so close Emma could almost taste Regina's toothpaste breath. She shifted slightly so her forehead could rest comfortably against the brunette's. "I'm here, Emma," she whispered, holding the blonde's hands tightly, reminding Emma that she was safe.

The blonde let out a shaky breath. "David said-" another breath. "One kid, and I-" her breath caught, and Regina wrapped her arms around the blonde's waist, pulling her close enough so Regina could nuzzle her neck.

"I got you," she whispered, her breath tickling Emma's throat. Emma clutched Regina's elbows, restricting the brunette's movement. "I got you, honey," she repeated, kissing Emma's quivering jaw.

The blonde took two large, shaky breaths, still clinging to Regina before holding her breath for eight seconds and repeating. When Emma had gone through this mantra four times, Regina rubbed her side slowly. "Better, baby?" Emma nodded.

"Yeah," she gulped. "Yeah better, thank you."

Regina nodded, kissing her jaw again. "Any time. Do you still want to talk about it?"

Emma nodded, releasing her grip on the brunette's elbows. "It wasn't so bad today really. Hook was a jackass.." Emma started, her voice sounding so small and broken. Regina squeezed her tightly.

"I missed you," she muttered, smiling slightly when Regina grinned up at her. The brunette kissed her cheek.

"I missed you awfully too, dear."

"Right, yeah, the pictures and videos suggested as much," she said softly, her grip tightening on the brunette.

Regina chuckled and lifted her head to capture Emma's lips. "I don't know about you, but I definitely think I should be adding all them to my modelling portfolio," she teased, finally making a laugh escape Emma's mouth.

"Definitely; you're certainly gorgeous enough," Emma sighed happily, thinking back to them. Silence fell on the room before Emma opened her mouth again. She hadn't wanted to tell Regina this, yet there was just something about her. Emma couldn't just keep this from her. "You know, weirdly, they triggered this," she added, so quietly, gesturing at her tear stained face.

"What?" Regina sat up, leaning back, staring at Emma intently. "Have I hurt you? Were they a bad thing? I didn't think you'd mind me on your cell-" Emma stopped her by smiling and covering her hands.

"No, R, no, it was just... the thing with David got me okay? And I was so..." Emma thought. "Pissed? Angry... I wasn't even that sad. When I got back I guess everything caught up to me and once I start, you know, crying I can't stop." Emma chuckled humorously. "Seeing your face, and those amazing messages," Emma chocked, and Regina raised her hand to cup the blonde's cheek. She opened her mouth but Emma continued. "And I couldn't thank you, or hold you and you're so beautiful and it got to me. Why would you want to be with me? How could you be with me?" Emma whispered, her cheeks pink at her blunt admission. Regina's mouth fell open in surprise but no words left it.

"How could you ever love a broken human?" Emma whispered, so quietly Regina barely heard her. "Am I crazy?"

"Oh Emma no," she gasped, horrified the blonde had such deep feelings of hatred for herself. "Emma, I love you-" the blonde opened her mouth to protest, but Regina held a finger against her lips, silencing her. "Scratch that. I adore you," she whispered.

"I admire you for standing up to and for 'The Evil Queen' and I adore your little habits that no one else knows about, like how you always eat with a spoon, even though you don't actually need a spoon to eat vegetables. I adore the way your face scrunches up when your hair falls in front of it and you're too lazy to move it out the way. I love the way you curl up to me in your sleep and mumble my name- and most importantly?" Emma gazes at her, admiration written all over her face. "I love you. I am completely and utterly in love with you, Emma Swan and all your idiotic idiosyncrasies," she finished, her thumb stroking Emma's cheekbone.

Emma, for her part, had been stunned into silence.

"And Emma? You might think you're crazy.. but let me tell you something," Regina leaned forward. "Crazy is perfect, and fucked up is perfect!" she exclaimed, holding her hands tightly."I don't care Emma, because if you're crazy or fucked up or depressed or sad or even just bored, it's you and you are perfect, whatever you you are that day."

Emma couldn't help it. She wrapped her arms around Regina's neck kissing her fiercely, trying to tell Regina she had the same thoughts about her using only lips. "Marry me," Emma said breathlessly when they broke for air.

Regina chuckled, pushing Emma's hair out of her face. "Really?" Emma nodded.

"No one's ever made me so full and happy, ever. God I adore you, Regina. Please, just.. marry me. Let me be yours."

Regina smiled and kissed her softly. "Only if you'll let me be yours."

Okay this ended totally different from what I had planned but whatever I think it works! And yeah, that's Next To Normal because I just got into it and I adore and there's a fic on here which is a SwanQueen Next To Normal oh God it is so perfect and wonderful, you have to read it it's beautiful.