Tony Fucking Stark

"Tony, I am not going to steal a case for you. Number one, the director of Natasha's liaison project is here, and number two, that is very illegal!" Darcy whisper-yelled at Tony as she continued to braid Thor's long blonde hair. "Jane is in town, and Steve and I will get pulled into to whatever ridiculous investigation you get yourself into. Why don't you just 'psychic' you're way through this?"

After their first two investigations together, Tony spilled the beans to her. He was hyper-observant, and after leaving one too many tips that he deduced from the news, they had thought that he was a crime lord or something. So he bluffed. He'd been pretending to be a psychic with Rhodey, his loyal sidekick, for about six months whenever she joined the force. Today was the end of her fourth month with them and he wanted a case to celebrate.

"Darcy, Darcy-doll, Darcy-girl," Tony pleaded with the curvy brunette as she finished up the braid. She wrapped the ponytail holder around the end of the braid. Thor smiled up at her and let her take a picture of the goofy face.

"You have my thanks, Darcy," He told her earnestly. "My hair, while a sign of a true warrior, is quite cumbersome."

"No problem, big guy!"

"Lewis, Stark! Get Rogers and get to my office. Clear your schedule, Lewis, this one is time-sensitive!" Coulson barked. And with that all of the life poured out of her body and filled Tony's.

"Darcy, as thanks for taking care of my problem, I will entertain your Lady Jane while you work?" The large blonde one suggested.

"Oh please? Her flight gets in at 3:45. Her name is Jane Foster, long straight brown hair, dark brown eyes, whites, probably wearing a graphic t-shirt and ratty jeans, she's short compared to you and weighs about 95 pounds soaking wet. Entertain her and then take her back to my place, I'll text you my address. Make sure she eats!" Darcy instructed him as Tony dragged her into the office.

"Chief Coulson, dearest, you approved my vacation time!" Darcy yelled as she made eye contact with her boss.

"Yeah, and then we got a bomb threat. Sit your ass down and where the hell is Rogers?"

Tony, Steve, and Darcy arrived back at her place at four in the morning to find Jane and Thor making sundaes while Jane explained astrophysics to him. The pair was hardly dressed, Thor shirtless and Jane wearing panties and a tank top.

"God dammit, Jane! ou did not get boned by hottest guy I know while I was searching bomb threats and discovering a damn serial killer that's going to warrant more investigation with Tony fucking Stark. This isn't fair!" Darcy whined as she plopped down on her white modern style couch, body aching in exhaustion.

"Sorry, Darce. I was the one that got stood up," Jane pointed out, but grabbed a bowl for a sundae for Darcy anyway. "Nice to see you again, Steve. You two want a sundae?" She asked the blonde and brunette who had trailed in behind her best friend.

"Nice to see you, too, Jane, and no but thank you," Steve answered her with a polite smile before sitting down next to his partner and laying the case files on her coffee table.

"Yes, please!" Tony smiled widely, "I'm Tony fucking Stark, by the way. Psychic detective."

Darcy grunted and Jane raised an eyebrow. "Jane, no experimenting on him. Thor, for fucking my best friend, bring me some coffee. Some of us have to stay up all night to catch elusive killers." Steve patted her shoulder and began to rub at the tense muscles, earning him a grateful moan.

Ice cream sundaes and coffee were dished out as Jane and Thor joined Tony, Steve, and Darcy in their mini case solving party. At five am Tony and Thor were sent home, at seven Steve and Darcy fell asleep on Darcy's couch, and Jane vacated to the guest room.

At noon Steve had made pancakes and bacon and was now trying wake up a very asleep Darcy.

"Darcy? Come on, Darce, I made you some breakfast. We have a killer to catch." Darcy groaned and turned away from him, towards the back of the couch. Steve chuckled. "Darcy."

"I dun wanna," She mumbled, making disgruntled noises whenever Steve took her blanket away. "Steeeeve!" She whined as she turned over.

"Darcy, its time to wake up!" Steve tried to be serious, almost losing his resolve whenever she curled up into a shivering ball-at some point during the night she had changed into shorts that were too short for co-workers and low cut cut v-neck.

"Wait," She started seriously, an idea forming. He could see it on her face about three nanoseconds before she launched herself at him, clinging to his body heat. She let out a happy sigh and smiled into his chest-covered by a rumpled, thin white cotton t-shirt. "Jesus, Rogers, you're a fucking radiator."

The sound of a camera shutter immediately drew Steve's attention to the short, dark haired, goateed man wearing a shit-eating grin and holding his phone up.

"I am going to kill him," Darcy mumbled.

"I might let you," Steve agreed.

"I am going to kill, Tony fucking Stark."

"Oh, Stevie boy!" Darcy exclaimed all big hair, big grin, and big curves as she pranced through the station three hours after they caught a serial killer/bomber.

"Yes, Darcy doll?" Steve answered with a grin of his own, not bothering to look up from his paperwork until his partner thrust her smart phone under his nose, on it a picture of Thor with his hair French braided.

"One, the Serpent Society Shootout, two, Clintasha, three Harry Osborn, four, Johnny Storm, five Operation Get Coulson His Job Back, six, the Return of Grant Ward, seven, 'Plosion Joe. Sleepover number one, check. Next time, we're watching chick flicks and eating more popcorn than is healthy." She announced happily. "Now, I have to go make sure Jane gets back to my apartment and eats but I'll swing by later for my share of the paperwork. My turn to buy the coffee and donuts."

Steve watched, dumbfounded, as the woman flounced away, getting high fives from Clint, Sam, and Tony, a hug from Thor, and a nod from Natasha. Briefly his mind flitted back to the conversation in New Mexico, the cheap motel room and the feel of her laying next to him, pressed against his side, laughing and talking about nothing.

He chuckled and shook his head. He had a sneaking suspicion that the feisty, curvy spitfire who always had something to say and a point to prove was quickly weaseling her way into his heart.