Under the Tide

There's a time and a place for wallowing in misery of your own creation—Anna has decided now and her bed suit her needs. She hasn't slept at all since last night, and she can practically feel the dark circles forming under her eyes.

Kristoff's words, which have been repeating on an endless loop, echo through her mind once more: "This is an instance where a kiss would literally make everything better."

If she wasn't such a fuckup, maybe that would be true.

As it is, she's...scared.

Scared because she's in the process of ruining one of the only good things in her life and she doesn't know how to stop herself. Every decision she's made since realizing Elsa's feelings for her has been wrong, right up to being the one to initiate that—

(incredible, heart-stopping, beautiful)

—stupid kiss.

Even worse, she managed to hurt Elsa because of how poorly she acted afterwards. At this point, she can't help but ask herself what harm there would be in being with Elsa. The thought is almost immediately dashed; not because she doesn't want it, but because she wants it too much..

She made that mistake before when she opened up to Hans. She was so damn eager to fall in love, wasn't she? She opened herself up to him so quickly, so earnestly, that it's no wonder he lashed out.

Anna grips her covers tightly. She shouldn't be blaming herself for his actions—her mom always made excuses for her father whenever he came home late, reeking of alcohol and perfume. She remembers hearing their hushed arguments, feeling sick to her stomach. If she shouldered the blame for Hans' infidelity, who's to say she won't make the same mistakes as her mom?

But she also knows that Kristoff was right the other night: Elsa is nothing like Hans. She clearly cares about Anna—probably more than she should—and she most likely wants a long-lasting relationship. Anna has no idea what the other woman sees in her—she's basically a trainwreck of a human being. Elsa's too good for her, truth be told; she should be with someone who knows what a functional relationship looks like.

She growls in frustration, clutching her head in her hands.

Around and around.

That's all she's doing right now; going in circles, completing mental gymnastics to find reasons why she can't be with Elsa even though they both clearly want each other. It's so fucking idiotic—

A knock on the door startles her out of her frustrating thoughts. "Anna?" Elsa's voice is timid, hesitant.

Anna gulps hard, her hands back gripping at her covers. "Y-yeah?" she calls back, not moving an inch.

She sees Elsa's shadow under the door, shifting from side to side. "I...I have a training session with Jack now; he's picking me up," Elsa says quietly. There's a slight pause before she continues, "But when I get back, we...we should talk."

Silence stretches between them, thin and painful, as Elsa waits for an answer. But Anna isn't ready to face this; isn't ready to try and justify her stupid, stupid actions from last night.

She hears a light sound against the door, and imagines Elsa placing her palm on the wood. "I really want to talk to you," Elsa whispers, and Anna's resolve wavers at the vulnerability in her words. "After I saw you in the forest, we both agreed there shouldn't be any more secrets between us. And I haven't been honest about my...feelings...towards you."

Anna squeezes her eyes shut. That makes two of us.

"I'll be back in a couple hours," Elsa continues, voice trembling slightly. "Please don't be mad at me."

Elsa's shadow disappears and Anna hears the front door open.

"W-wait!" Anna scrambles out of the comforter she's cocooned herself in, falling to the floor with a muted umph. A fierce, pins-and-needles sensation begins to flow from her knees down to her feet, keeping her from standing properly. "Shit," she hisses when she falls down again, and she hurriedly rubs her hands over her calves to regain some feeling in them.

It takes nearly a whole minute before she's able to hobble towards the door and throw it open. "I'm not mad at you, Elsa! I swear that's the last—"

She stops short when she sees Jack leaning against the wall across from her.

He tilts his head to the side, taking her reaction in. "What's going on here?" he says in lieu of a greeting, raising an eyebrow.

Anna looks to the side, not wanting to answer that question. Her eyes land on Elsa, and she inhales sharply.

Elsa...doesn't look well. She's holding herself tightly around the middle, as if she'll fall apart if she loosens up. Her eyes are puffy and red-rimmed, and her lips are trembling. Her shoulders shake under Anna's gaze, and she brings her hands up to rub some warmth into her upper arms.

Jack pushes away from the wall. "Are you feeling cold, Elsa?" he asks mildly, though Anna senses tension lurking underneath the words. He's holding himself stiffly, fixing Elsa with a pointed stare.

Elsa's eyes widen and she shakes her head emphatically. "This isn't what you think—"

Jack moves suddenly, lashing out to grab Anna's wrist and pulling her towards the door without another word.

Anna stumbles after him, nearly losing her footing. "What the hell are you doing!" she exclaims, trying to free herself from his iron grip. As he leads her outside, the floor below her transitions to snow and ice, quickly soaking into her socks. "Jack, stop!"

Elsa keeps pace with them, trying to catch Jack's attention. "I swear this isn't what you think! I just get cold sometimes, that's all!" He ignores both of them, though his fingers loosen slightly around Anna's wrist as they head down the stairs. Elsa tries again, "Where are you going?"

"We'll be back later," Jack says curtly, ignoring Elsa's question. "I promise I won't hurt her, if that's what you're worried about."

Anna stares at the back of his head in disbelief, because what the hell has she done to elicit this kind of reaction? Elsa looks worriedly between him and Anna, but stays silent until they get to Jack's car. Anna's socks are now sopping wet and the bottom of her feet are starting to feel tingly.

"I'll see you later," Anna quietly assures Elsa, though she has no idea when she might be back from wherever Jack is taking her. Elsa doesn't look any more relaxed than before, so she softly adds, "Please don't worry."

Elsa offers her a brittle smile. "I'll always worry about you."

Jack finishes unlocking his car and opens the passenger side for Anna. "Get in," he orders, and Anna sees that his eyes are a bright, electric blue. She swallows hard and does as he says, feeling like she's being kidnapped.

Neither Jack nor Anna speak as he starts the car and slowly maneuvers through the apartment complex. A shiver wracks Anna's body, and she's thankful she wore a long-sleeved shirt and sweatpants to bed.

Jack spares her a sideways glance. "I don't have a heater."

"What a fucking surprise," Anna mutters before cupping her hands over her mouth and blowing warm air over them. She's never seen him this serious before, and it's making her nervous. "Can you at least tell me where you're taking me, or should I put on a blindfold?"

"We're going to have a little chat at my place," he says after a moment, keeping his eyes on the road. "Set you straight on a few things."

That certainly doesn't sound threatening. Anna huffs against the window, hoping she won't freeze solid before they arrive at his place.

Fifteen minutes of careful driving later, Jack pulls into a spot near the Midnight. The bar is where Anna usually goes to meet him, but she can't figure out why he'd want to go here now.

"I'm not really feeling like a drink," Anna says acerbically, glowering at him.

Jack ignores her, choosing instead to get out of the car and walk into the building without her. Anna grumbles a few curses before following him, trying to pretend she's not self-conscious about her pajamas-and-bedhead look as she enters the bar.

Instead of heading over to his usual table, Jack strides towards a door behind the bar Anna had never noticed before. He inserts a key into its lock and opens it forcefully, throwing most of his weight against the slab of wood. It groans before finally giving in, and Anna follows him up a narrow flight of stairs.

They end up in a surprisingly airy loft, with dark wood floorboards and a noticeable lack of furniture—besides a mattress situated on the floor near the window, a few chairs, a kitchen table, and a lumpy couch, there wasn't much in the space. Except...

"Holy crap," Anna breathes, temporarily forgetting her annoyance at Jack when she sees the absolutely massive bookshelf stretching along the length of the loft.

She rushes over to it, taking in how many hundreds of books there are—old, thin books with faded titles and brittle pages. New books with creaseless spines and gilded edges. Books in languages she knows aren't human, and those without any titles at all…

"Don't touch any of those," Jack warns her, and her hands whip down to her sides to avoid temptation.

Elsa would love this place.

The thought brings Anna back to the real reason she's here, and she reluctantly focuses her attention back on Jack. "Are you going to tell me why you kidnapped me?" Anna asks, an edge to her voice. "Or did you just want to glare at me here instead of in my apartment?"

Jack doesn't seem to appreciate her sarcasm. He tilts his head towards the couch. "Have a seat...please," he adds the last word as an afterthought. Once she sits on the far end of the couch, he pinches the bridge of his nose. "You are giving me such a headache right now."

Anna scoffs in disbelief. "Me? You're the one who's been acting crazy all morning!"

"I suppose my actions might seem strange to you," he acknowledges, and Anna knows it's the closest thing to an apology she'll get from him. "But this is important." He takes a deep breath and locks his eyes on hers. "What happened between you and Elsa?"

The question takes her completely by surprise. "Uhh, what are you talking about?" Anna says dumbly. Does he somehow know about their kiss?

"Well, she looked like shit, for starters," Jack replies, gaze narrowing. "She was obviously upset about something when you came running out of your room. And she was shivering."

He says the last part like it's the most damning of all, and Anna resists the urge to say 'So what?' since that would just make him mad. "Is that supposed to mean something?" she asks instead, trying to be patient with him. After all, he wouldn't be acting like this without a valid reason, right?

He runs a hand through his hair, causing it to stick up every which way. "Shivering—at least amongst ice fae—is a symptom of something...bad."

Bad...he says the word like it's a placeholder for something even worse, like he's trying to lessen the blow of whatever he says next.

Alright, that's a bit worrying but also vague as hell. She can't help but wonder if Jack is jumping to conclusions. "Humans shiver, Jack. We get cold." In fact, she's shivering right now, still trying to acclimate to the loft after their chilly car ride.

"But Elsa—"

Anna waves a knowing hand between them. "Yes, yes, I know. She's not fully human, but you said yourself she probably isn't pure fae either. I know Elsa's gotten cold before. Definitely not as often as me, but she still wears jackets and sweaters. She's not completely immune to the cold like you are."

The words don't seem to please Jack, since he clearly wasn't expecting such a mundane answer to his worry. Still, he doesn't seem entirely convinced. "There's another possibility too, which is why I brought you here in the first place." He gives her a shrewd look. "Something did happen between you two, didn't it?"

"That's none of your business," Anna mutters, fidgeting in her spot. Jack is the last person she wants to talk about her romantic life with.

"Yeah, it actually is," he replies, unexpectedly sharp. "Because it has to do with being an ice fae. As I'm the one mentoring Elsa and her parents aren't in the picture, her wellbeing falls to me. I'm going to tell you what I told Elsa during our first real meeting, and what you hear will not leave this room, alright?"

Anna nods mutely. For whatever reason, Jack has deemed this information important enough for her—a human—to be privy to.

Jack nods as well, and moves a little closer on the couch to her. "We are...emotional...creatures by nature," he says slowly, picking his next words with care, "It's possible for us to die of a broken heart."

There's a beat of silence, and then another.

"Oh…" Anna says uncertainly.

"Yes, 'oh'," Jack replies humorlessly. There's no hint of a smile on his face, no sign that this is some kind of joke gone too far. "Love is our one real weakness, yet we can't keep ourselves away from it. Not just romantic love, mind you. Familial love is almost as important. If those bonds are broken, if the object of our affection rejects us or passes away…" He looks past her with a grimace. "It's almost impossible to move on."

Still not looking at her, he continues, "When a fae experiences a broken heart, their powers begin to turn inwards. It makes them weak, cold, in constant pain. It's...not a good death."

No wonder Jack was so worried. But why would he assume Anna had something to do with Elsa's current state? Unless...

"Wait, do you think I broke her heart?"

Jack simply stares at her, waiting for the words to sink in.

And oh god, she is breaking her heart, isn't she? She pushed Elsa away last night, and then dismissed the kiss as a drunken mistake between friends when it clearly meant so much more. She saw how close to tears Elsa was, but closed the door on her anyways. She avoided talking to her this morning until it was too late…

Anna leans forward so her head is between her knees, feeling woozy. "Are you saying Elsa is in danger because of me?" she whispers unsteadily.

"I'm saying it's a possibility. I knew she had feelings for you, but I didn't think it was love." Anna peeks up at Jack in time to see him grimace. "Of course, it's possible I overreacted, saw something that wasn't there. But if I'm not overreacting," his eyes flash bright for a moment. "I will make sure you don't hurt her."

Anna swallows hard. That's a threat if she's ever heard one. But something clicks inside Anna, and she has to know if she's right, even if it pisses him off. "Is...is that how Elsa's mom died?" she asks quietly. Elsa said the woman was bedridden for most of her childhood. She said it was almost a relief when she died because it meant she wasn't in pain any more. Anna wouldn't wish that kind of suffering on her worst enemy, and if that's what she's doing to Elsa...she wouldn't be able to forgive herself.

Jack's jaw clenches, anger swirling in his eyes. But unexpectedly, the anger doesn't seem to be directed at her. "I believe so. When I discussed this with Elsa, she said her mother never spoke about her father like he was dead, leading me to think he's still out here somewhere. Now this is just speculation on my part, but I think whoever her father was…" he scowls viciously, clearly disapproving of the man. "I think he cut ties with her when she became pregnant with Elsa. It was only her love for her daughter that kept her alive for so long."

"Jesus…" Anna rubs at her temple. No wonder Elsa didn't want to tell her about this. "So what...you just don't fall in love with anyone?" she asks in a small voice. How do ice fae feel, knowing their lives aren't fully in their control? How do they open themselves up to love when the consequences can be so high?

But Jack disagrees.

"We can't stop ourselves from falling in love, even with all the potential risks it could incur. It'd be like trying to stop your heart from beating," he says softly, "it's just...part of who we are."

"Have you been in love before?" The words slip from Anna's mouth before she realizes what she's said.

Jack gives her a bitter smile, not seeming surprised by the question. "Yes. It was...entirely unexpected. I mean, she was a dentist for god's sake," he says, rolling his eyes with gentle exasperation.

"A dentist?" Anna repeats, because she can't even begin to imagine him with someone who takes care of teeth for a living. It was so...ordinary.

Jack clearly feels the same way. "I couldn't think of anything more boring, but..." He shakes his head wonderingly. "It didn't matter. I met her after one of my teeth had gotten knocked out from a sledding accident." His smile grows softer as he continues, "Once she cleaned up all the blood, she kept going on and on about how white my teeth were. 'Like freshly fallen snow', she said."

There's a vulnerability in Jack as he reminisces, and Anna can't bring herself to ask more about this dentist—she was only spoken of in past tense, clearly not in his life anymore. As if sensing Anna's pity, Jack's smile slowly fades. "But I didn't bring you here to talk about Tatiana—" He stops abruptly, eyes widening once he says her name...as if he hasn't spoken it in years. There's a pained expression on his face that he can't hide fast enough. "We're here to talk about you."

"What about me?" Anna asks hesitantly, reminding herself to find out what she can about any dentists with that name later on.

Jack just looks at her, from head to toe, sizing her up. Anna withers under his intense scrutiny. After a few moments, he brings his gaze back to her. "Do you want to be with Elsa?" he asks point blank.

"No," Anna responds immediately, without giving herself time to think.

"You're lying," he says flatly. Just like that, the Jack who had shared a piece of his past with her was gone, returning to the one who dragged her here against her will.

Anna shrugs weakly. "It's complicated."

"It shouldn't be," Jack retorts. "I told you all of this so you could make an informed decision. Elsa has strong feelings for you, and I'm not going to stand by while you hurt her with your indecisiveness. You like her and she likes you; this isn't exactly rocket science."

Anna burns with embarrassment—even Jack, in the limited time he's seen her and Elsa together, has been able to see the feelings they have for each other. "I appreciate how helpful you're trying to be, but I need to figure this out on my own," she says, trying to sound more confident than she feels.

At that, Jack stands up. "We're not friends, Anna," he says coolly. "You're not someone I consider myself close to. But Elsa...she's my kin. I have to look after her. There will most likely be a day she experiences heartbreak; it's almost inevitable. I can help her through that when it comes. For now, I just want her to be happy."

"I want that too," Anna mumbles.

Jack stretches out his hand to her. "Then I'll take you home now."

For whatever reason, Jack decides to follow Anna up to her apartment. Though maybe that ends up being a good thing—her hands are shaking so much from the cold that she can't unlock the door. After a few pathetic attempts, he plucks the keys from her hands and slots it into the lock for her.

Anna pushes her way inside first, eager to be back into a place that's properly heated. The very first thing she sees is Elsa, who's standing right in front of her. "Shit!" Anna startles, a hand flying to her chest, heart beating spastically.

Since when has the sight of Elsa scared her?

Elsa bites her lip and looks away, and Anna wonders if she's thinking something similar. Anna smiles tremulously at her, willing herself not to act like a horrible person. "Sorry, I wasn't expecting you to be waiting."

At that, Elsa sweeps her eyes off the floor, disbelief playing across her face. "After all this time, you still don't think I'll be waiting for you?"

Anna grimaces, choosing to stay silent. Elsa has always been waiting for her, ever since that first full moon. Apparently all she can do is continue to say the wrong things, do the wrong things.

"God this is painful," Jack drawls. Anna had almost forgotten he was still here, and now he's looking at her like she's the saddest thing he's ever seen. He tilts his head towards Elsa and says decisively, "We're not going to the forest today."

Elsa's brow furrows in dismay. "We're not?" She sounds so tired and defeated, the news coming as another blow to her already crappy day.

"No." Jack makes a sudden gesture towards the floor, hands splayed as frost erupts from his fingertips. Anna follows the snowflakes in awe before realizing what is happening.

"Did you just…" Anna starts, staring down at her feet incredulously. A thick layer of ice has crawled up and over the bridge of Anna's feet and around her heels. When she tries to move, she finds that the ice keeps her firmly rooted in place "This is a flagrant abuse of your powers! Jack, can you not be an ass for once?"

As expected, Jack steadfastly ignores her. "Consider this today's lesson," he says to Elsa, a hint of a smirk on his lips. "Unmelt her if you want, or I suppose you can just leave her here. I don't really care either way."

With that, he turns on his heel and walks out the door.

They both stare after him, mouths dropped open. Anna turns her attention back to her feet and experimentally tries lifting one leg, then the other. It's useless; whatever Jack did has her practically nailed to the floor. At least the ice—for whatever magical reason—doesn't actually feel cold against her socks.

"So…" Anna starts, attempting to regain at least a little composure, "could you maybe help me out here?"

Elsa stares blankly down at Anna's feet. "I don't think I know how," she says slowly, a hand coming up to rub anxiously at her neck. "I've never tried to melt ice before."

"Crap." Anna bends down and swipes a tentative finger across the surface of the ice. It's not even wet, meaning it probably won't melt as quickly as normal ice. She could be here for hours. "Could you at least try?"

But Elsa just shakes her head. "I don't want to make it worse," she whispers, arms wrapping around her midsection in a painfully familiar stance.

Anna knows better than to try pressuring her into using her powers, and so she sighs and accepts her fate. "Well...I'll just be here...chilling out." She really feels like laughing—loud, ugly, hysterical laughs that will probably end in tears. This whole situation is so fucking ridiculous that it's really all she can do to chuckle helplessly for a moment.

The sound draws Elsa's attention and she looks up at Anna for a moment before turning and walking away. That kind of hurts, though she doesn't call out to the other woman. I deserve to wait this stupid thing out on my own, don't I?

Surprising Anna, Elsa comes back only a few moments later, a woven blanket in her hands. "You must be cold," she explains, coming unexpectedly close to wrap the blanket around Anna's shoulders before stepping back.

"Almost always," Anna says faintly. She clutches the blanket tightly, wishing she could disappear into it. "Thanks."

Elsa expels a tired breath. "We need to talk, Anna," her voice is just as quiet, but there's an unexpected firmness underlining the words.

Anna bites the inside of her lip, stopping herself from giving a knee-jerk refusal. In the past, she was never one to avoid conversations or run away from her issues. This person she's become—this self-loathing, cowardly wreck—she doesn't like her.

So she takes a deep breath, trying to settle her heart. "Y-yeah...we probably should."

Her agreement clearly catches Elsa off guard, but she doesn't let it deter her. "Alright..." she says, sounding self-assured despite the fact her fingers are worrying at her sweater, "Then I want to know what happened last night."

"Last night?" Anna repeats. When Elsa just continues to look at her, she nods. "Right, last night. We uhh...we kissed." Quite a lot, just a few feet from here.

Elsa seems pleased that Anna's not trying to skirt around the topic. "And afterwards...I couldn't sleep. I couldn't stop thinking about it." They both blush at that admission, but Elsa's delicate eyebrows are quick to scrunch together as if she's working on a particularly difficult problem. "I couldn't stop thinking about it because you kissed me."

"What?" Anna instinctively tries to move back and ends up dropping the blanket and windmilling her arms, fighting for balance as her feet remain frozen in place.

Elsa steps forward, grasping her forearms and holding her steady. "You kissed me," Elsa says again, strong and sure. The statement seems to loosen something inside her, and she continues, "I wasn't the only one who made a decision last night. You didn't have a drop to drink, and yet you kissed me." She pauses, letting go of Anna's arms before asking, "Do you like me, Anna? As more than a friend?"

Anna closes her eyes, because expecting the question is nowhere near the same as actually hearing it. But she doesn't want to hide from her feelings anymore, not when they can hurt Elsa even more than herself.

"I do," she breathes, and a small weight lifts off her chest. She opens her eyes, sees how wide Elsa's blue ones are with that admission. "I really do."

A small smile begins to form on Elsa's lips before she smothers it, not wanting to start hoping yet. "Then why did you push me away like that?"

"I…" Despite wanting to be honest, it's still hard to open up completely, to expose herself like this. "You deserve someone better than me," she finally whispers, because it's true.

Elsa throws her a sharp look, disagreement written all over her face. "I'm not a saint, Anna," she states evenly. "Please don't tell me who I do or don't deserve."

Anna continues doggedly, "I lied to you before, kept things from you—"

"Because you had to!" Elsa exclaims. "I'm not holding that against you at all. I've wanted to be with you since the first moment I saw you. You're brave and sweet and so, so beautiful. If you like me, then why are you acting like this?"

Anna feels hot tears prickling at her eyes. "I've lost nearly everyone I've ever cared about. If that happens again..." Her voice breaks and she averts her gaze from Elsa, ashamed that she's about to cry. "I can't lose anyone else. I just can't."

This…this is the real reason for her hesitance, for her impulse to be 'push' instead of 'try'. For her to protect herself at the cost of her happiness and Elsa's. A small sound crawls out of her throat; a half-choked sob that has Anna wanting to hide herself away.

And just like that, Elsa closes the distance between them, arms encircling Anna's shoulders, and fingers rubbing across the back of her shirt in slow, soothing circles. Anna stays stock still for a moment before relaxing into the embrace, resting her head against Elsa's collarbone.

She feels Elsa's chin settling against her shoulder, smells floral shampoo where Elsa's hair tickles her nose. "You're not going to lose me," Elsa says softly, her hold tightening. Heat emanates from Elsa's face and there's a shaky exhale against her ear. "I...I'm yours, Anna."

Anna's breath catches in her throat, and she hugs Elsa back just as fiercely. "I've been such a shit to you," she says against Elsa's neck, and goosebumps ripple across the smooth skin in response, "You've been nothing but amazing even when I keep messing things up. You really do deserve someone better."

Elsa sighs and takes a step back, and Anna instantly misses her touch. "Maybe I don't want someone better," she says with a timid smile, "maybe I just want you."

Anna smiles back, small and hesitant. "Jeez, thanks for the vote of confidence," she replies with a sniffle, trying to sound like her usual self.

There's still so many variables to account for, so many uncertainties—the most important being what Jack told her. If she commits to whatever this might become, she'll be responsible for Elsa's wellbeing in a way no twenty-one year old should be. It's not that she doesn't care about Elsa, it's just not love.

But...does it have the potential to be?

It's a question she's never entertained since she chose instead to write off any possible relationship with her that wasn't platonic. Though the situation has changed now, and the question is one that needs to be asked.

The answer is such an easy, resounding yes that it actually knocks the wind out of her. For a moment, she has to focus all her energy on forcing air back into her lungs. Everything that makes Elsa Elsa is worthy of love. She's so incredibly kind and smart and protective...it's really no wonder Anna fell for her despite never really seeing women that way.

So she might not love Elsa yet, because all of this is too new and overwhelming as it is, but the possibility is worth taking a chance on.

"Are you alright?" Elsa asks, concerned. "You're really pale."

The words bring Anna back to reality, and she blinks a few times. "I...yeah," she sounds as dazed as if she took a blow to the head. Elsa doesn't look at all convinced, which gives Anna the extra push she needs. "I just realized that I think I'm ready to be with you," she declares, a smile of pure elation taking over her face, "As more than friends, as whatever you want."

Elsa stays right where she is, but a light breeze flutters through the apartment, ruffling Anna's hair. Small snowflakes begin to descend from the ceiling, clinging to everything in their path. Instinctively, Anna reaches out to touch one as it floats in front of her. Instead of melting, it stays firmly on her finger; a beautiful, intricate fractal.

Anna swallows hard, her smile fading. "Are you alright?" she echoes Elsa's earlier question, trying not to be alarmed. The only times Elsa's powers have ever appeared like this have been in stressful situations, and if Anna is somehow making Elsa feel awful—

"I-I'm fine," Elsa finally says, shakily. Her eyes are bright and she's no longer suppressing the hope Anna had previously seen. Instead it burns brightly, positively lighting her up from the inside. "I'm just...I'm so happy right now."

Anna stretches her hand out in a silent invitation. Elsa takes it, fingers threading through hers. "I have a lot to make up for," Anna starts, momentarily grimacing, "I'm sorry I hurt you by acting so immaturely."

With her free hand, Elsa cups Anna's cheek, wiping away an errant snowflake. Anna leans into the touch, content. "It's my turn to ask now," Anna continues softly, lips nearly brushing against the inside of Elsa's wrist. "Can I kiss you?"

Elsa's response is immediate—cool lips are pressed against her own before she can even close her eyes. Elsa moves her hands away from Anna's face and around her lower back, pulling her impossibly close. Anna sighs at the contact, her own hands trailing up and looping around Elsa's shoulders.

Lips part beneath hers, and Anna wastes no time running her tongue between them, eliciting a shiver—a good shiver—from the other woman. Even amidst the light snowfall, Anna feels something warm and wet against the heated skin of her cheek, and she opens her eyes to see tears trickling down Elsa's face.

"Hey," she murmurs, breaking the kiss. She moves her lips to each of Elsa's cheekbones, kissing away the tears, and wiping the skin dry with her thumbs. "It's okay, it's okay…"

Elsa leans back slightly so their foreheads are pressed together. Inhaling deeply, she takes in Anna's scent, takes in this new step of their relationship. "This is the first time I've ever done this," she confesses lowly, blue eyes achingly vulnerable, "I've never...been with anyone before."

Anna presses a light kiss to the tip of her nose. "And this is the first time I've been with another girl before, so I guess that makes us even." Elsa smiles plaintively at that, and Anna feels the need to further assure her, "I'm not going to pressure you into anything. We can take this as slow as you want."

A huff of cool breath fans across her face. "I don't want to go slow," Elsa says impulsively. The immediate response has her blushing a brilliant pink, but she doesn't take the words back.

Anna grins and swoops in for another quick kiss. "You're going to be the death of me, you know."

Elsa's hands tighten around her hips. "Don't even say that," she murmurs, closing in to lean her head against Anna's shoulder.

They're silent for a long moment, simply holding each other as snow continues to fall around them.

After a while, an interruption comes from an unexpected place—Elsa's stomach makes a strange sort of gurgling noise, and Anna giggles against white-blonde hair. "Hungry?" she asks playfully.

Elsa reluctantly pulls back, glaring down at her stomach. "I haven't eaten anything yet," she confesses, "I didn't have much of an appetite since last night..." She clears her throat, waving away the apology already forming on Anna's lips. "I'm fine now, really. But we probably should have some food. I can heat up some leftovers if you want."

Elsa pads towards the kitchen, turning only when she realizes Anna isn't following her. "Oh, you go right ahead," Anna says encouragingly, waving her forward.

"You're not coming?" Elsa asks, raising an eyebrow in puzzlement.

"Well, I would," Anna answers as patiently as she can, drawling out the word, "but I'm kind of stuck to the floor."

Elsa's eyes trail down to her feet and they widen upon seeing the ice still holding Anna firmly in place. "Oh my god," she says, another blush coming across her face. "Oh no. I completely forgot."

Anna bursts into laughter, and Elsa is soon behind, the jubilant sounds echoing through the apartment.

It takes both of their hairdryers on full blast for the ice to start melting. They both kneel down, directing the blowers directly onto the cold, shiny surface. "Really, what was Jack thinking?" Elsa mutters to herself, trying to find a comfortable position.

Anna remains silent, though she has a pretty good idea of what Jack wanted out of this. He was providing her a chance to fix what she very nearly broke with Elsa. She just wishes he could have done it in a less annoying fashion.

She tests the thickness of the ice, leaning her weight on one foot while trying to lift the other. The action fails to free her, and instead makes her lose her balance and topple towards Elsa. Elsa immediately drops her dryer to reach out and steady her.

Anna smiles gratefully, putting her own dryer on the floor and tugging Elsa closer by the front of her shirt. "My savior," she says teasingly, bringing her in for a kiss.

The enthusiasm she's greeted with just makes her smile harder, until she can't properly kiss Elsa. The other woman soon turns her attention to Anna's neck since her lips are being uncooperative. Anna's smile abruptly disappears when Elsa finds a particularly sensitive spot at the base of her neck.

"O-oh…" Anna stutters, tilting her head to give Elsa more access. Encouraged, Elsa slowly runs her tongue over the spot before gently setting her teeth to the skin. A pleasant shiver courses down Anna's spine, and she can't stop a small moan from escaping. Elsa continues her ministrations with obvious delight, moving to the other side of her neck.

Which is the exact moment Anna yelps and jerks away.

Elsa stands up immediately, flushed and anxious. "What is it?"

"I think I'm free now." Anna turns off the hairdryers, which had steadily been melting through the ice while she and Elsa were occupied. She tugs fiercely at one of her feet until it's finally out of its icy prison. Not wasting any time, she peels her sock off, revealing red, angry-looking skin around her ankle bone. "Aaand I think the hairdryer burnt my foot," she says, only a little sheepish. After all, it wasn't solely her fault that she was distracted.

Elsa furrows her brow, but relaxes when she realizes Anna's not truly hurt. "Do you want me to—"

Anna shakes her head and pulls on her other foot until it's free and she's able to walk like a normal person once more. "There's no need, it'll heal on its own. Are you still hungry?"

"Starving," Elsa responds with a warm smile.

While she sets herself to warming up some leftover Chinese, Anna snatches a few cups out of the cupboard, and then some forks and spoons out of the drawer. Swinging into the seat she's unofficially labelled as hers, she watches Elsa, lost in thought.

It will definitely be a strange transition—roommates to friends to...girlfriends. The word feels foreign and she's tempted to say it out loud, see how it sounds out in the open. Thankfully, she does have some self-control, because Elsa would probably fix her with one of those judgmental stares—

Like the one she's giving her now.

Elsa waves a hand in front of Anna's face, trying to gain her attention. "The food's ready."

"Ah, right. Food." Anna answers eloquently, shaking herself out of her reverie. "Sorry, I was thinking about...us, actually."

"Oh?" Elsa queries, busying herself with scooping some lo mein out of a container. Trying to sound casual, she continues, "What exactly were you thinking?"

"You know," Anna hauls herself out of her seat so she can get the last of the orange chicken before Elsa. "Just wondering how this will work. I mean, we already live together. That changes things a bit, doesn't it?"

Elsa, finished serving herself, takes over Anna's seat as payback for the orange chicken. "I've also seen you after you've nearly died on multiple occasions," she points out, "and you've seen me make snow and ice. This never really had a chance at being a normal...relationship." There's a pause before she says the last word, as if savoring the syllables on her tongue.

"You're right," Anna agrees with a dramatic sigh, returning to the table and digging in. "We're doomed."

Elsa huffs irritably and nudges Anna's shin with her foot. "That's not what I meant! We'll just...have to be careful." Some of her playfulness fades with that, and she stares down at her food, worry setting heavily on her shoulders.

Anna's fork scrapes loudly against the bottom of her plate, eliciting a cringe. The sound brings her back into Elsa's focus and Anna smiles weakly at her, knowing what she was probably thinking about. "Do we have anything due for Weselton tomorrow?" she asks instead, not wanting Elsa to dwell on any dark thoughts.

"We have the paper on revolutionary processes," Elsa answers immediately. Seemingly pushing away her worries, she rests her chin against her hand and fixes Anna with a knowing stare. "Have you even started it?"

"Yes!" Anna exclaims, feeling the need to defend herself. "I've gotten like...two paragraphs done. I would've gotten more done if—" she clamps down on the rest of the sentence, not wanting to dig herself into a hole.

Elsa props her elbows on the table and leans forward, interest shining in those impossibly beautiful eyes. "If what?"

"Urrgh…" Anna takes another bite of food before answering, "I would've gotten more done if you weren't studying with me." The answer takes Elsa by surprise, and a pleased smile on her face. Anna continues to grumble, "Yeah, you kept distracting me with your…'you'-ness."

"In that case, I apologize," Elsa says, through her expression is completely unapologetic. "I guess we'll have to call it even; you've distracted me plenty of times."

"Oh, really?" Anna scoffs good-naturedly, curious despite herself.

Elsa cants her head to the left, running her fingers through blonde locks and sweeping them to the side, exposing a cute ear and a long segment of neck. Anna follows the action with rapt attention, comforted in the knowledge that it's okay to admire her so openly now.

"You do this kind of thing all the time," Elsa says, regaining her attention, "pull your hair to one side, trail a hand down your neck…" She pauses to do exactly this before lightly pressing her fingers into the muscles under her ear, a soft moan passing through her lips. "And you make these sounds that make me want to...take a very cold shower."

"I won't apologize for my stiff neck," Anna mumbles, uncomfortably warm. "But I see your point."

Elsa smirks, victorious. "I suppose I just have more experience when it comes to staying focused."

"Hmm," Anna says, trying to come off as thoughtful. In reality, she's wondering just how Elsa is so comfortable being such a tease. Being in the kitchen also brings back memories of last night, of how Elsa had lifted her onto the counter to keep kissing her. She's certainly much more at ease with showing affection than Anna would have assumed. Maybe it's an ice fae thing.

Anna drags herself back to a reality that sees her writing a crappy paper the rest of the day. "I probably should get to typing," she says reluctantly, polishing her noodles off and taking her plate to the sink. "I don't think my grade can take another hit."

It's no secret that Weselton's class is her least favorite of the semester—hell, maybe her least favorite ever—and with the way the professor glares at her during every lecture, she'll need to work extra hard to make sure he has no reason to fail her.

"You'll be in your room?" Elsa asks, cleaning up as well.

"Yep." The library was simply too far away for her to bother; it'd be enough of an effort just to clear space on her desk. She pauses for a moment, then adds, "You can hang out in there too, if you want. You probably have all of your homework done, but there's still a ton of bestiaries and stuff to read through."

Elsa beams, the action sending a warm, pleasant jolt through Anna's chest. "I'd love that. Let me just get some things from my room." Maybe it'd be clichéd to say there was more pep in Elsa's step than usual, but it'd also be completely true.

Anna finds that her own footsteps are light as she heads to her room, and when a now-familiar shiver passes through her, she can't be bothered to care.

Miraculously, she manages to finish her paper before sunrise, though her vision starts blurring by the time she reaches the concluding paragraph. Now, she's not going to say it's a masterpiece by any means, but it's finished and that's what counts. The fact that Elsa was on the floor, not directly facing her, definitely helped her concentration. Only seeing her in profile, studying the various books around her, had motivated Anna to chip away at her own work.

When she's done looking over it one last time, Anna raises her arms in victory, stretching this way and that. Noticing Elsa's eyes on her, Anna makes sure to go through the motions of rubbing her neck and groaning in satisfaction.

Elsa very pointedly turns back to her book, and Anna grins. "I think I'm going to bed soon. Did you want to join me?" The words leave before they could even pass through her filter, and Elsa nearly drops the book in her hands.

"W-what?"

Anna frantically waves her hands, cheeks flaring. "Ohmygod I didn't mean it like that! Not like I wouldn't want to eventually because, you know. But that's like, in the future. Someday other than today, I mean. Because we haven't really gotten anywhere near that point yet, though at the rate we're going—holy crap, actually maybe you should leave before I say anything else super embarrassing—"

Elsa stands up and places a finger over Anna's mouth, stopping the flow of words bubbling out of her. "If you meant to ask if I wanted to stay here and sleep, then…" She replaces her finger with her lips, giving Anna a quick, calming kiss. "I'd like that."

Anna's forehead thumps against Elsa's shoulder, her cheeks reddening further. "Me too."

Hopefully her word vomit will cease in the coming weeks, but she'll probably mortify herself several times before then. She wasn't even thinking of asking Elsa to share her bed, but somehow the words just came out. Though now that it's actually happening, she's certainly not going to complain.

They stay like that for a moment, with Elsa cradling Anna's head and rubbing her thumb across the freckled skin of her cheek. "You should know that I sort of...cling...in my sleep."

Anna snorts, breaking away from Elsa to crawl into bed and pull the covers down for her. "I already know that. You were very clingy last time."

"Oh, yeah?" Elsa says, obediently slipping under the covers next to her. "You didn't say anything."

"That's because it took me by surprise," Anna admits as she turns her lamp off and lays back down. She positions herself on her side, peering at Elsa's dark outline. "I kind of...realized my feelings when you were sleeping here."

Elsa stills at that, not even appearing to breathe. "Is that so?" she finally murmurs.

Not knowing what to do, Anna simply nods. "It took me a while to figure it out. I mean, I think I liked you earlier than that, but that was the first time it was undeniable. So I'm kinda glad you cling in your sleep." The words seem to flow easier when she can't fully see Elsa's reaction to them.

Elsa doesn't respond, leaving Anna to wonder if she said something weird. She turns onto her back, hands splayed out across her stomach. The mattress dips beside her, and Elsa is suddenly there, one of her arms snaking around Anna's waist and drawing her close. The scent of minty toothpaste fills her nose, and she feels Elsa's steady breathing next to her ear.

Maybe it's odd that they're already so casual with their touches, that it feels natural for them to be holding each other like this, but Anna can't be bothered to care. All she knows is that it took way too long to allow herself to come to this point, and now that Elsa's here, in her arms, she's not going to let go of her.

"The first time I saw you, you were wearing that green-and-black flannel," Elsa starts, whispering the words into the crook of Anna's neck. "Kristoff was with you, and you were laughing at something he said. That laugh...it was so bright and happy, so contagious that it made me smile. My first thought was, 'I want to make her laugh like that someday'." She shifts, pressing a soft kiss to the skin below her.

"That was the first day of class. I thought it was just a passing attraction, though I had never felt so strongly about someone I didn't even know. I accidentally let it slip to Rapunzel, who of course made fun of me mercilessly. She was always saying I should talk to you, but...I never knew what I would say. Besides, I thought you were with Kristoff.

"The last thing I expected was for us to be roommates and it made everything so much harder at first. I used to think I had good control over my powers, though around you I kept slipping up. But even if it was difficult, I was able to learn more about you. You always came home late at night, bleeding and in pain, but in the morning you'd act like nothing happened. You love Taylor Swift and weird eighties movies, and always try to include me in whatever you're doing. And…"

Elsa's breath is shaky and she tightens her grip on the edge of Anna's shirt. "You accepted me without question. When I told you I was gay, it didn't change how you thought of me. When you found out I had ice powers...you didn't even blink. Nothing changed, which changed everything for me. I'm so happy that I know you, and that we don't have to hide our true selves from each other."

"Yeah, you know," Anna says, voice thick and on the verge of breaking. "Same here." She sneaks her hand around Elsa to draw her even closer, until Elsa is partly on top of her. "I'm just glad that I somehow caught your eye."

She remembers the first day of Weselton's class, her and Kristoff elbowing each other until Weselton reprimanded them, and then silently snickering behind his back. She...didn't even notice anyone else that day. Even if she was under threat of death, she still wouldn't be able to remember anyone else in the class.

A niggling sense of guilt courses through her, but she pushes it away. After all, they're here now, together. As Elsa nestles further into her and her breathing starts to even out, Anna stares up at the ceiling with a faint smile.

This morning, it seemed like everything was going to hell. Who would've thought they would end up like this tonight, curled up like a couple of kittens?

She closes her eyes, content for the first time in weeks.

A searing cold pain rips through Anna's skull, and she bolts up, gasping. She takes one labored breath, and then another, hands gripping tightly at the sides of her skull.

"What's going on?" Elsa is instantly awake, barely a trace of drowsiness in her voice. "Is it another nightmare?"

"No, I...ahh, I don't kn-know!" Anna says through chattering teeth, trying not to panic as wave after wave of ice crashes against her chest, flowing through her extremities. She starts trembling uncontrollably, knotting her hands into Elsa's shirt until the fabric sounds like it's about to rip. Elsa holds her tightly, riding out the pain with her.

After a few minutes, the shiver ebb away, leaving Anna weak and clammy. "I...think it's over," she pants, rubbing at her chest. It feels like someone hollowed out her heart with a melon baller.

Elsa smooths the sweaty bangs away from Anna's face. "Has that ever happened before?" she asks, supporting her almost-limp body in her arms.

Anna shakes her head, the effort causing her to wince as her vision goes blurry for a second. "I don't know what just happened."

As Elsa reaches blindly for the light and switches it on, she asks, "Do you want me to get you some water and—" Her hold on Anna loosens and she stares at her in shock, forgetting what she was about to say next.

"What?" Anna says, dread welling up in her chest. "What is it?" She feels around her face, but there's no blood or anything to evoke such a response.

Silently, Elsa reaches for her phone and flicks on the forward-facing camera. Anna peers into screen and nearly drops the device in surprise. "What the fuck is that?!"

She tugs at her now white-blonde bangs, moving them this way and that. She looks to Elsa for an explanation, but the other woman just shrugs helplessly. "I think you should call Jack," she whispers, rubbing the back of Anna's neck in a calming manner. "He can fix...whatever this is, right?"

"Right," Anna murmurs, her mind racing. She doesn't know what this is, but she's really hoping Jack can help.

She steadies herself before scrolling through the contacts on Elsa's phone and choosing Jack's number. The phone rings for what seems like an eternity until he finally picks up. "What?" he answers groggily.

"H-hey, Jack. It's Anna." Stay calm, just stay calm for a little longer. Beside her, Elsa's biting at her bottom lip and Anna reaches out to squeeze her hand. "Something's happened to me."

Jack yawns, the sound rankling Anna. "Go on," he prompts her sleepily.

"I...I kind of look like an X-Men character?" Anna responds, trying to lighten the mood. "You know, the one with the white streak in her hair. Does that mean anything to you?"

There's a loud banging sound on the other end of the line, followed by a string of muttered curses. "White, you say? How are you feeling?" Jack asks, clearly awake now.

"I'm okay. Just a little nervous, I guess. I mean, I go to sleep with normal hair and wake up with this. It's probably not the worst looking thing in the world but I still want my hair back to before—" Anna stops babbling when Elsa gently squeezes her hand in a silent 'be quiet' gesture.

Jack makes an impatient sound. "No, how are you physically? Have you noticed anything odd recently?"

"Well, I…" Anna hesitates, because the answer is what she's been putting off—flat out ignoring—for weeks now. "I've been cold, my heart...it feels like it's freezing sometimes," she whispers, squeezing her eyes shut. "Just now, I woke up and couldn't stop shaking. And...and I think I've been losing some of the feeling in my limbs." Fuck, saying all this aloud makes her realize that she should have gone to a Guild doctor way sooner.

Elsa's grip on her hand is now painfully tight, forcing her to open her eyes. Elsa is white as a sheet, alarm and something like betrayal crossing her face at not being told about this.

"When did you start noticing the cold?" Jack says, the sound of running water filtering in from the background.

"Maybe since…I think it was the shifter fight," Anna says uncertainly, because shifters definitely can't do anything like this. Unless it wasn't the shifter...Unless—

No.

No.

This has nothing to do with Elsa, it can't have anything to do with her.

Jack is silent for so long that Anna contemplates hanging up and redialing. "Meet at mine, I'll unlock the door. Don't bring Elsa," he finally says, voice clipped.

Anna furrows her eyebrows, glancing up at the woman in question. "Jack, what is it?" she asks, voice small and sounding like a scared child. "What's wrong with me?"

A harsh exhale travels through the phone, and she can imagine Jack running a hand through his hair. His next words have her dropping the phone and backing against the wall, breaking Elsa's hold to clutch at her head, fingers weaving through red-and-white strands. She can't hear whatever Elsa is saying to her, only Jack's words, looping over and over.

"I think you might be dying."

A/N: Fittingly, the next chapter will be called 'Blood Runs Cold'. As always, TheWanderingQuill is the best beta in the world. Let me know what you guys think, though I'm sure there will be lots of yelling involved.