Hello everybody! Chapter 7 is finally here!

I own Merlin- I wish.

So, this fanfic is growing a tad darker each chapter- I hope you enjoy this one :)

Please enjoy!

Twin Forces

Chapter 7

.-Apathy-.

"Arthur!"

Merlin gasped as he saw the prince tackle the man and then fall down as if his strings had been cut.

Just before Arthur had come, Merlin had been about to use magic to throw his assailant away from him, but then the prince had appeared, and, ironically, Merlin had been rendered defenseless. There would be no way to explain his glowing golden eyes in the dark.

Merlin regretted not using his magic, however, for Arthur was slumped on the ground, and the stranger loomed over him. Merlin snarled, hurting his abused throat further. He didn't need to use words- he screamed, letting his magic surge forward violently, and threw the attacker against the wall. There was the noise of bones breaking and the man didn't move anymore.

"Arthur!"

Merlin ran to his master's side, feeling his pulse. It was normal, if a little accelerated. Merlin noticed the knife on his arm and gulped. Taking a quick glance around, Merlin waved his hand and the torches flickered to life. In a haste, the warlock spotted the basket with Arthur's laundry. He took one of the shirts he used for training and ripped it. Once the knife was out, Merlin bandaged the arm to stop the bleeding. He still needed to get Arthur to Gaius.

He glimpsed the slumped form of the man. Bearded and dressed with rags, his head resting against his chest in an odd angle. He was clearly dead.

Merlin had expected to feel remorse at having killed the man, but all he could think about was that Arthur was safe- relatively, and that he needed to get the body out before anyone noticed the strange cause of his death. A broken neck didn't just happen in a plain corridor.

Merlin hurried to carry Arthur to Gaius's, placing magical guards around the hallway so no one would feel the need to enter.

As he staggered, hauling Arthur, he tried to ignore the darkness he felt slowly pulling at his soul and settling inside his heart.

"Merlin! What happened?!" Even as he inquired, Gaius was fast to clear the table in his chambers. "Put him over here."

"There was a man, Gaius…"

"Shush, my boy. Did you check his vitals?"

"Almost normal. His pulse is a bit fast. Nothing to fear. But his arm, Gaius. The blade... "

"Indeed." Gaius examined the abused flesh. "We need to clean the cut or it may become infected. Hand me that bottle over there…"

Soon Arthur was awake and confused. "Gaius? Where's Merlin?"

"I sent him to… get some fresh water, sire."

"That idiot. Did he tell you what happened?"

"Yes, sire. I suggest you get some rest." Gaius totally evaded the point.

"I will." Arthur got to his feet, wobbling a little and grimacing at the pain in his arm. "We are going on a short patrol tomorrow." He headed for the door. "I was on my way to tell Merlin to ready the horses. Would you tell him that? We leave at first light."

Gaius had seen how shaken Merlin had been from the short ordeal. The patrols never ended well, and it would only get Merlin paranoid to go on patrol the next day. "Sire, if I may, I don't think you should leave the castle tomorrow. You need to rest."

"I took a knife to the arm, Gaius, not the legs."

"Your sword arm, sire. If something where to happen- which I know it will- you will not be able to defend yourself."

"That won't happen Gaius."

"And you will not be able to protect Merlin from harm either."

That got to him. Arthur wouldn't admit, of course, but Gaius could see the young man's eyes flicker momentarily with the possibility of being too late to protect his friend should something happen.

"Who cares about what happens to that useless excuse of a servant?" He pinched the bridge of his nose. "This patrol was ordered by my father, Gaius."

"I'm sure he'll listen to me if I explain. Your health is of utmost importance to him, my lord."

Arthur grunted and turned to leave for good when he almost bumped into Merlin.

"Sire! You're awake!"

"You've always liked to state the obvious."

"I'm glad! That you are awake, that is, not that I state the obvious."

"Gaius told me you'd gone to fetch some… water." Arthur dragged out the word as he looked around Merlin in search of the bucket, missing the pointed questioning look Merlin shot in Gaius's direction.

"I, um, yes!" Merlin nervously played with his hands. "I went for some-"

"Fresh water" Gaius cut in.

"-yes, but I evidently don't have it because… um. I… forgot the bucket!"

"You forgot the bucket." Arthur said patronizingly. "Are you sure there isn't something else you forgot somewhere, Merlin? Perhaps your head?"

Merlin's grin vanished.

"Very funny sire. Go to sleep."

"Last time I checked, Merlin, I gave the orders here."

"Check again, because I am a physician's apprentice, so either Gaius or I give the orders while you're injured."

"I got injured saving your life!"

"Thanks. Don't do that again, you're a terrible fist fighter."

"You ungrateful-"

"Sire," Gaius interrupted their bizarre banter. "Please, have a good rest."

"Whatever." Once again, Arthur was about to walk out the door when he turned one last time. "Merlin, that man."

The servant flinched. "Yes?"

"What happened to him?"

"He ran away, couldn't reach him."

"You've always been useless like that, haven't you?" Arthur said patronizingly, oblivious to the downcast expression his words brought to Merlin's face. "I expect you bright and early tomorrow with a tray of hot breakfast. Gaius." With a nod of the head towards the physician, he left for his chambers.

The old physician stared at his ward with concern.

"Merlin, your throat-"

"I'm not useless. I'm not. At least I never will be again."

"My boy?"

"Sorry, Gaius."

"Sit over there," the old man nodded towards the bench near the table and Merlin sat, conscious that there was no point hiding his bruised neck from the protective physician. He only thanked that Arthur hadn't noticed. Gaius dipped a rag in water and pressed it softly against Merlin's sensitive skin to prevent more swelling.

"And how did it go with the… water?" Gaius asked.

"You mean the… the body?"

"No one saw you, did they?"

"Who do you think I am, Gaius? Of course no one saw me. Still… I never expected to do something like this… hiding a body and throwing it away like some thug would do… It doesn't feel right. It just makes my guilt run deeper."

"My boy, you did nothing but defend yourself and Arthur, you can't blame yourself."

"But I do, Gaius, because, though I feel guilty, I didn't feel horrified at killing him… I thought the sensation I felt after… after killing," it sounded so terrible, so evil… perhaps his soul was already damned, Merlin thought. "I thought it would never eventually wear off… but I'm starting to get used to it… All because of my oh-so-called destiny." He spit the word 'destiny' like it tasted foul in his mouth. "I'm terrified, Gaius." He remembered his dream from last night. "What if I am no better than the man who killed my father?"

"Don't say that."

"Alright. I won't."

But what if?

-Murderer. The voices had spoken to him in his dreams many times- too often.

He felt closer to them now, as he understood them better.

I am. I am a murderer.

As if reading his mind, Gaius put a hand on his shoulder and said, "You keep risking your life for the sake of others. No one that selfless could be evil."

"Thanks, Gaius." Merlin attempted to smile. However, as he spoke, his shoulders sagged in defeat.

There was his own face again, in Merlin's dream.

Those cold, golden eyes stared at him. The man smiled, his expression marred by the wicked tinge on the edges of his mouth, and the crazed glint of his overly dilated pupils.

"I'm thirsty." He turned his head around as if he were trying to see behind him, then looking up, and back to the front like a madman. He licked his teeth, then his dirty nails, and smiled again. "I'm tired, and I'm thirsty."

Everything was cold and rough. There was an ache pulling at his soul. There was darkness surrounding him, mercilessly soaking into his heart.

"I'm coming, Pendragon." He deadpanned. "You and your father made the wrong choice in making enemies of magical and non-magical people alike."

Merlin tried to say something, but he was so cold and he couldn't move.

There was the gleam of a dagger and the man smiled again.

"Die."

Merlin gasped and sat up on his cot, drenched in cold sweat.

He was shaking, and gasping, unaware of it all. He breathed deeply to calm himself, and stared vacantly at his joined hands for what seemed hours. It was strange- he thought after a while-, he had stopped feeling restless as soon as he dug his nails into his knuckles. Whatever feeling of worry, rage or fear had gone away. Whatever mental conflict he'd had after killing the man that had attacked Arthur was gone from his mind now. Because…

It's all his fault. That man. It's him. Not me.

The attempt on Arthur's life earlier the day before had opened his eyes.

Magic or not, they all go after Arthur and hurt whoever I care about.

Merlin looked down in absentminded disgust to his hands and made a crushing gesture. He frowned, but then he felt a soft, distant presence brush his mind, and his frown receded. His eyes glazed. He tried to ponder on the presence, but it was gone before he could identify it.

The frown came back, as did the glint in his eyes.

I am a murderer, he thought. But I will not be ashamed anymore. If this will bring about the Albion of the prophecies, I don't care about dooming my soul anymore.

I was damned from the start. Some warlock I turned out to be.

His thoughts wandered back to the nightmare from last night, and the one he'd just had.

…The handle of the dagger, the thumping of his heart quickening, the sick smile he'd felt on his own face as he plunged the deadly blade into Arthur's chest…

Your own face, Merlin, he'd reasoned. Your own hands, he'd thought. He'd felt fear. But not anymore. Now he understood.

Albion will not come…

Emrys should have known…

Emrys must be warned…

The assassins have almost finished their training…

Merlin chuckled. Well, everything made a whole lot more sense now. He was surprised at himself for taking so long in realizing just what it was that had been nagging at his mind all day.

That man. At the clearing. Balinor's murderer.

It was him. It must be.

How stupid Merlin had been for thinking it was himself in that dream.

'Revenge,' a bloodthirsty voice growled within him. There it was- the darkness pulling, scratching, luring him in.

Merlin had pondered sometimes on the appearance of that man, how he looked exactly like Merlin- but now, Merlin discovered, he didn't care anymore. If he was someone incredibly alike, a lost brother, an illusion, Merlin didn't care anymore. A sort of apathy had taken hold of his head and heart now. It was simple, really. He understood now. That man was coming to Camelot, his intent clear- murder. That man was jeopardizing Arthur's destiny. Merlin's destiny was to defend it.

Simple.

Just like he had done that very night, he must eliminate the threat.

Stop it, banish it, kill it. Break its neck. Whatever it had to be. Whatever the cost, Merlin had to succeed.

This time around, he was ready. He would wait for the assassin to come.

Merlin brought the tips of his fingers to his bruised throat.

He vaguely remembered those golden eyes from his dream, and smiled- a wicked smile that would have scared Gaius had he seen it. Merlin hadn't really wanted to confront his father's murderer before.

But now…

Now he was growing excited.

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