AN: Hi guys it's Nym13 again. This story follows the movie verse timeline and not the books. So, Harry was first year in the year 2000,so Voldemort died in year 2007. The Book Thief was published in 2006 and the movie released on 2013.
About this story: Hermione and Ron dated and then they became friends, but sometimes they'd make up again (they're in an on and off again relationship~here). Ginny and Harry dated again but preferred to be just friends after awhile as Ginny is busy playing Quidditch and being on tour while Harry goes on missions. So yeah, that's the background of the characters. As for their age, it's simple math.
Warning: Might be OOC, doesn't follow canon and UnBeta-ed.
Quote for the day: Physical Attraction is Common and Mental Connection is rare.~unknown
XXX
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I am at the crossroads
I have three steps forward
I have three steps back
I can turn to the left
I can choose to turn right
I have but one heart
I guard just my soul
I'll only make one choice
I don't want another dose
Of realities bound by what ifs
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XXX
The Book Thief
~2014~
"Hermione,"
"What?" I faced my best friend as I rubbed my eyes with my calloused fingers, belatedly realising that the act brought more attention to my unwarranted tears. I bit my lips in mild self admonition as I casted my eyes to my lap, I hated crying, and this boy seems to have a talent for finding me when I do, just like my other best friend who seems to have a talent for making me cry.
"I thought you came up here to relax, then why are you crying? Is something the matter?" I blushed at Harry's comment the concern in his emerald eyes was endearing. He's right though, I was studying some cases when I decided to take a break from work and went here in the the Black's library for a bit of light reading, well technically, it's Harry's Library now ever since he's moved here at Grimmauld place, everything has actually become more of his, and Ron and I, well we agreed we'd live together for awhile until we decide to be on our own. To be honest, I'm not so keen about leaving, these two boys they're more than my family, they're a part of me. Maybe that's why my patronus is an otter, Harry and Ron both. It's been almost seven years since Voldemort's defeat, and nothing much has changed, or at least I'd like to think that we didn't change.
"It's silly, I'm crying over a book Harry, these tears they're small and petty. You don't have to worry really, I'm alright." I said those words intending to placate my friend but the deepening cresses on his forehead told me otherwise. I see him pushing back his glasses with his index finger as he stared at me questioningly.
"I don't believe Hermione Granger would cry over nothing."
"Harry it's a fiction story! It is not real. Honestly, I think it's plain juvenile and humiliating."
"Fiction or not it most definitely isn't dismissible if it made you cry, tears they're real though the cause might not be." I stared at my friend gobsmacked.
"How'd you get so poetic?"
"By living with you. You know you're the reason why all our shelves are cooped up with books most of them are yours you know, and don't change the subject, we were talking about you." He told me teasingly, and I let out a small laugh, now all my tears have dried up.
"Is it fine with you though, to hear of my woes?"
"Hermione, I know you're dying to tell me." He told me pointedly and I scoffed at that. It's true though, Harry has often lend me his ear. For I am a complete chatter box about almost anything, and Ron has no patience to humour me and my muses that's why Harry, my other housemate, suffers my being loquacious.
"Alright. Have you read this?" I told Harry as I handed him my newly purchased book, I see him raising an eyebrow as he chanced upon the letters printed on its cover.
"I see, this word applies to you, as someone you were, still are or might be yet nonetheless I'm almost positive it's a person you would most likely hate, especially if so called act is taken up against you. And no, I have not read it." I nodded my head, glad at Harry's insight.
"Yes I agree, and you should read this, it's very beautiful! You know what, come talk to me after you read it, I want to know what you think."
"Hermione can't you just-"
"No, I can't talk to you unless you understand it. Seek me when you're through I'm off to the grocers, Ron will be home soon and we're cooking dinner." And by we I meant him. Mostly.
...
As Hermione left the House she checked her watched and noted that it was still two in a Sunday afternoon, and Ron would arrive home from the Burrow at seven that evening. They were running out of supplies but she had ample of time to shop. Harry, on the upside would now have something else to do while she's away. Seeing her reflection on one of the street's passing windows Hermione realised her hair was now too long almost reaching her bum, a trip to the hairdresser is long due, like she said she had ample of time.
...
The moment I stepped inside the house, I was startled by the noise in the den.
I peeked at the corner and saw Harry sitting in the living room his back was to me. I dropped the shopping bags now enlarge back to their original sizes on the floor as I pulled off my coat. I heard Harry standing up and moving towards me. He bent down and carried the shopping bags with him towards the kitchen. Normally Kreacher does the cooking, which no one objects to, because he's a very good cook but since Sundays are his day off, Harry has become the reserve cook since I have no talent in it and Ron has no patience for it. I followed my best friend, but not before stealing a glance at the den seeing the telly rolling the credits from an obviously just finished film. We started to move together; filling up the pantry with condiments.
"What film did you watch?" I asked Harry and he smiled at me rather sheepishly.
"The Book Theif, it's out on D.V.D.,"
"There's a movie?"
"Yes. I went out and grabbed a copy, and played it. Saved me hours." I pursed my lips at distaste. It's just like Harry to take the shortcut. Shrugging to myself as I pulled out more food from the shopping bag I turned to my companion and casually asked.
"So, why did I cry?"
"You cried because it was too late wasn't it, they've lost so much time."
"Oh Harry, I know. They could have been together!" I told Harry completely forgetting the fact that I was holding a cartoon of eggs which I nearly dropped.
"What was the point of them loving each other if they could not be together?" Harry told me as if greatly offended which surprised me a lot.
"Harry, they were children, who knew if what they felt was real love, and who knows what would have changed when they grow up. It's just a pity they didn't have the chance to find out."
"Hermione they might be too young but love was there, at least on Rudy's end it was apparent."
"Well, you are right." I told him just as I deposited the last egg on the refrigerator tray. Harry on the other hand was unloading cereal boxes and snacks.
"Why didn't Liesel gave him a bloody kiss? Why didn't she love him?" I heard Harry muttering. When Harry said this I gave him a quizzical look. What did he mean about her not loving Rudy. It was pretty obvious in the books, or at least to me she was.
"And what pray tell gave you the impression that she didn't love him?" I told him now fully facing him, he sighed and rubbed his temples a habit he's acquired ever since his scar had stopped hurting.
"I'm not saying she truly didn't, I mean, yeah, she loved Rudy, he was her best friend after all, but you know she never liked him romantically, or until it was too late."
"Harry, Liesel loved Rudy. Even before, it was always him." I told him as I fished out tomatoes from the bag and listened to Harry talking over my shoulder.
"Oh yeah? Well, she really didn't show it, like she continually refuses to give a kiss to Rudy even after he dove in the water for her, I almost thought he would die. Besides it seems to me she liked the older bloke." Harry said as he begun washing the vegetables I've just set. I positioned myself near him and towelled them before putting them inside the vegetable keep.
"Oh Harry, probably she didn't think it was wise, maybe she was saving it. Older Bloke, Max? Oh Harry, he was like a brother to her. You know, he taught her a lot of things, he's like a wiser older brother. But Rudy, he's the one she plays with, the one she trusts to get her out of the trouble, help her and have her back, and though she has lots of secrets Rudy still trusts her too."
"Saving it? I don't think so? And how are you sure Max's like a brother to her and how do you know she feels for Rudy, there's not much difference there." Harry told me as he handed me the first batch of potatoes.
"I think she was bidding her time, testing the waves, she liked Rudy but maybe that wasn't enough she was young after all, maybe she thought they still had time. Harry there are two types of brothers, the brother who has your back, shares wisdom with you and protects you, and the other brother who teases you, annoys and fights with you but at the end of the day still protects you. Same goes with friends, and lovers you know honestly, it could have been either one or none, but you have to have that attraction, you have to feel that attachment." I looked over my shoulder I just deposited the last lettuce into the vegetable keeper and I saw Harry leaning against the sink his arms crossed and looking as though deep in thought.
"What is it?" I asked him growing quite concerned at his seriousness, I didn't think he'd ever be engrossed in this topic. At a fictional character's love no less. But fictional characters though not real are still based on reality; the author borrowing a piece of his own and planting it between pressed pages. Then the reader unveils this treasure making him see and know the reality the author sees, making the reader feel involve, even to the extent of pushing the reader to disagree because the reader has his own set of coloured lenses, both have their own sets of realities, because ultimately reality is relative to all.
"You know when I was watching the movie, I felt the chemistry between Rudy and Leisel, but I don't know, how can you tell Leisel liked Rudy? She didn't really show it." Harry told me his green eyes staring into mine, I could feel myself growing indignant.
"Surely you've seen it in the way she smiles at him, in the way she looks at him, the way she calls his name, and even when she says no when he asks for a kiss. It's the way they move together in perfect harmony because really they breathe the same air, and live in the same space with hearts that beat in sync." I told him, what I meant was that love often didn't wear an eye catching placard, it's not fond of grandeur and garish statements, it rejoices in subtlety, in every breath of kind act. Harry stared at me questioningly as he stepped towards me.
"She never told him that! He cannot read that, besides how can you see something as abstract as love? Maybe that's why he gave up on asking for a kiss because he felt he was just forcing himself on her."
"Who knows really? Besides she married later on her life and it was neither to Rudy nor Max."
"It should have been Rudy."
"Should have, but did not. It's alright I suppose, it's a lot like life, you can end up with almost anyone it's just a matter of preferences, circumstances and choices."
"So you're saying Rudy wasn't right for her?" Harry told me accusingly and I frowned at his statement, truly this boy, he only sees the surface. I stepped forward, believing that closeness will heighten his perceptiveness despite being fully aware that he's a head taller than I was.
"No, I do think Rudy was good for her...Let's just say it could have been him, they were right for each other when they were young but when they grow up they'll change, they'll either drift closer or apart. They could have been or could not have, those are true too, you cannot deny the other option completely because it exists. But circumstances and life is the game, they're just the players, they have the dice in their hands that presents them with lots of options and possibilities and when they make that choice to play the game and throw, they'll never know what they're going to get, they'll just take it as it is and do their best, someone wins, someone looses and sometimes it ends up in a draw. I guess such is the game of love." I can see the cresses of Harry's forehead smoothing down. I can almost hear the gears of his head, mauling over the words that I've said.
"In the end, they'll have to abide by the rules and take responsibility for their choices. I guess I understand now. We have our own perception of our needs and wants and such standards aren't universal, we could have anyone, there isn't a single person for us but the clincher is our choice in the point of time when we have to decide after everything is taken into consideration. Anything is possible there isn't a standard to who we are and who we should love." Harry told me and I reached out to grasp his hand, hoping that the small gestured would suffice to show him how pleased I was with his answer.
"Yes, I'm glad. You know, you really are perceptive, but sometimes your perceptiveness is overwhelmed by your...heart." I told him teasingly and he grinned as he tightened the grip on my hand in response. He brought my hand up, and planted a small kiss on my knuckles. Try as I might, I could not mollify the blush that rose up to my cheeks.
"And you with your head. Don't you think we compliment each other?" Harry told me teasingly as he released his hold, and I laughed as I'm flooded with nostalgic memories about the once scrawny green eyed boy whom I've grown up with.
"I do, and I agree, we do make a good team, always had been."
"Yeah. Sometimes we just, you know...move instinctively." I laughed at him as we moved to prepare the pasta. I turned to Harry just as he started getting the knife and cutting up spices.
"Instinctively?"
"I mean I look at you and I just know that you get me, that we're thinking the same things. That you have my back, and that when I turn around you're there. When I run you follow and when I reach out my hand yours is ready to receive it. You know, instinctively." Harry told me as he ceased dicing up the spices and deposited it inside a mixing bowl, As he did this I've begun boiling the water and took out the box of pasta noodles, while Harry opened tomato jars and sauces.
"Well, that's because I know you, I can anticipate your actions. I've grown up with you, I know how you think, I know how you judge and so I'm always down your throat to hedge your sharp edges."
"Yeah I guess you compliment me, maybe that's why I keep you around."
"Oh, keep me around eh." I told him teasingly as I pinched his side, he squirmed a little before casting me faux look of annoyance before laughing as well. I reached out for the block of cheese and started grating, while Harry mixed the sauces and started up a fire for the sauce pan.
"Of course, the problem is what have I got to offer you?"
"Oh Harry, you offered me friendship. You've given me the chance to be brave. Harry you saved my life. You taught me that there are things more important than books and cleverness. Before you I was all about following rules, decorum and propriety and being logical but when you came along those all flew out of the window, I've broken thousands of rules for you." Just as I've done grating the cheese the water started to boil and so I deposited the pasta in it and Harry begun melting the butter in the sauce pan.
"So I really am a bad influence?" He told me grinning, and I rolled my eyes.
"No! I mean, it's just like you said I'm all about the brain but you, you taught me about the heart." I told him smiling and this time as he poured the tomato concoction in the saucepan and begun stirring.
"I guess you've done the same for me, you taught me that the heart can be wrong, that it's volatile and that I don't have to be alone. Thank you." He face me then, as if those words were an afterthought.
"Oh Harry, you are my best friend." I told him bringing into mind the fondness I have for this man. As I've begun taking out the French bread and slicing it vertically.
"And Ron? What did he teach you?" I swear I heard the teasing in his tone as he said this.
"He makes me laugh and he challenges me."
"Is that why you've fallen for him and I'm like your brother?" Harry asked me then and I stopped with my motion, I put away the jagged knife and face my best friend. He said it almost dismissively and yet, it felt so poignant, for it's a question I've never allowed to ask myself.
"I don't know really, I just sort of felt like I liked him. Maybe I was attracted to him." I told him as I turned back to the bread. I do wonder sometimes when I'm in the comfort of my lone ness, I've ask why I have chosen him, especially during the times that we've fought, during the times that we've hurt each other. I've said thousands of goodbyes only to return, because he was comforting, because Ron was familiar and he felt safe. Maybe that's love, even now when we're in our off phase again I believe he's the one I'll ultimately get back to. And I really don't know why, all I know is that Ron, he's not wrong for me.
"Oh? So you do find me unattractive then." Harry exclaimed, I dropped the knife and we heard it clatter against the floor. I hastily clamoured to get it and placed it on the sink, all the while being mindful of my fast beating heart working up heat to spread on my cheeks.
"What? Of course I do you really are a handsome man Harry. Anyone would be lucky to have you, but..."
"But not you," Now that left me speechless and feeling infuriated. I faced Harry and I see him looking at me almost appraisingly, truly this bloke has the audacity to imply that I am a asexual, completely oblivious to the male prowess, for goodness sake I am not just a prude who sticks her nose inside of a book! I am a functioning female homo sapien with five fully functioning senses, the nerve of this four eyed git.
"You make me sound so horrible, of course not! Besides, it's you who doesn't find me attractive so don't twist the tables."
"Me? Yeah maybe when we were younger, but you know perceptions change, and I've never found you ugly."
"Harry a person isn't automatically attracted to someone he doesn't find ugly."
"Alright, then I found you pretty since the Yule Ball ever since you fixed your teeth, because it showed me how pretty you look when you smile...how come I'm like your brother?"
"Because you're my best friend!"
"And Ron is a toe-rag? Hermione you talked about duplicity. You can have two kinds of brothers, two kinds of best friends, you can end up with someone who you are compatible with or not all you need is attraction. You and I we could live in harmony, we have our differences but we're a team and you found me attractive so why am I the brother?"
"Because you've never been interested in me!"
"What?"
"Alright, when I was young I liked you, you and Ron actually. But I think I liked you more. But you were on top this pedestal, and you've been interested in girls who could not be more opposite than me. Plus, I didn't think I was good enough for you. It was easier to tell myself I liked you as a brother than acknowledge the fact that I was harbouring an unrequited love. Harry you were more than a crush. But Ron is different, yes we fight but he shows he cares, it was easier to let myself fall for him than with you."
"You've never shown your interest on me and don't patronise me Hermione. You're the one who's on top the pedestal, and Ron he dated Lavender, someone who's definitely not you. So how can you take that against me? Besides, you've never shown you were attracted to me, you spend more time with Ron and you hated it when you read the article Rita Skeeter wrote about us and you didn't ask me as your date for Slughorn's party, I mean really, you invited Cormac bloody McLaggen!"
"I've never shown my interest in you? Well that's bloody fantastic, what a convenient excuse for your shortsightedness. I ask you again Harry Potter, are you sure I've never shown interest in you, not even giving you the slightest of hints that I might just fancy you?"
"Obviously."
"Let me break it down for you. I've hugged you, I've touched you, I've turned and searched your eyes and I've anticipated every hurting of your scar more than a friend should have. I've trusted you, I've never left you and followed you even when you were wrong because being with you is more important, and keeping you safe was top priority. You've always been one of the few wizards I admired, didn't you feel the pride I've felt for you? I've burnt the midnight oil for you, I've stayed up for you and helped you practice spells and prepare murtlup essences. I've told you your 'kissing was more than satisfactory', surely no one would have given that statement if he's never thought about it. I told you you were quite fanciable, embarrassingly exclaimed to a lot of people you were 'yummy'! I traded my parents for you more than a couple of times. I've thrown and left everything for you and I would have traded my own life for you. If that's not clear signs of attraction then I'd be embarrass to hear about the real deal. Maybe you've never noticed because to you I'm just like a sister or better yet a mother!" I felt lightheaded as I've told him the secrets of my youth, and I know this lightheadedness is cause by pain, a different kind of relief from a different kind of rejection, and he remains with that confuse glimmer in his emerald eyes with mouth slightly open. I turn my back to him and started buttering the bread and putting appropriate spices on it before popping it to the oven. As I did these, I've felt my anger slowly dissipating leaving me worried about my friend who up to now remains silent.
"Why are we even talking about this?" I told him as I deposited the tray of bread in the oven.
"Because you should have told me!" Harry exclaimed and I sighed.
"Why, what would have happened? You would have told me you saw me as a sister, then where would we be?"
"You're right, maybe I would have said that, but maybe I'd fall in love with you too."
"What?" I see Harry blushing now as he shook his head and begun attending to the pasta we have until now forgotten.
"I mean, we'd never know because we never acted upon it."
"Harry, you don't have to lie." Then I heard Harry laugh as he took out the sauce and pasta and set them in a casserole.
"Why can't we be together romantically?"
"You don't know what you are saying. I'm not the girl you'd fall in love with."
"And why can't I fall in love with you, we are compatible. We've lived together for so long-"
"We don't have chemistry!"
"Of course we don't, we've had potions." I see Harry grinning and I laugh.
"I was serious Harry."
"I know, and I wasn't kidding. Hermione is there any part of you that finds me attractive still, a faint whisper in your heart that wants to be with me too? Because as I've grown older I've realised that I'm running out of reasonable reasons to not fall in love with you." Yes. I wanted to say yes. But I don't, because if I'd do I'll open my heart and it'll be vulnerable.
"Harry, you don't know what you're saying. What we have is already so beautiful, we have too much to loose."
"I'm using my head Hermione that's what you've taught me, it's time you listen to your heart. All I'm asking is that you give me the same chance you gave Ron. Let me fall in love with you. But I'm not going to force you Hermione, you are first and foremost my best friend. Why won't you choose me?" He asks me and I want so much to believe in him. But Ron, can I let go of him? I've put so much effort in securing my relationship with him. Yes we've broken up again but were going to get back together that was certain. But Harry, he's not safe, he's not easy, he'll be hard to deal with, he always has but I will continue to love him and be his friend, I've done so for many years. But what he's asking is unfamiliar I wouldn't know how to act as his lover for I've never allowed myself to think that. Do we even have a future together? What if this would be a fleeting love affair. He's never been interested, but is it because he was young then? Is it because we've never allowed ourselves to think that because of pride, because of the invisible damnable line, because we want so much to prove that a girl and guy can just be friends...as long as they don't have attraction...and me? What did I truly think?
"We might regret this."
"I've always been plagued by questions of what ifs, I don't want this to be another missed opportunity. Why not Hermione?"
What if...no, why not?
Just then I hear the door opening and familiarly heavy strides arrive in the kitchen and Ron's ginger hair pops about matching his flushed grinning cheeks.
"Hey guys, what are we having?"
"Pasta." Harry replies with a casual grin that surprised me as he and Ron talk about setting the table and opening up a bottle of wine. I hear the faint ring of the oven as the bread finishes but it's Harry who takes it out and Ron magically cleans up the mess. As we moved into the dinning hall I felt that it was only me, as if I've just gone though with motions and Ron talks to Harry about the Burrow and birthday presents...Birthday...Harry's birthday!
"So everything's set for the 31st, and I'm telling you Harry, I don't bloody care what Kingsley says on that day, a bloke can't freaking miss his own bloody birthday." I can see Harry's gaze shifting on me and I ducked my head as I reached for the fork and twirled spaghetti strands with it.
"Kingsley could use a nice telling off for a change." Harry tells Ron and I don't need to look at him to know that he smiles. I don't know if what happened was real as it seemed so distant now.
"You better bring your arse on Thursday." Ron told him and this time I turned to look at Harry hoping for some hint that what just transpired between us was real. The moment I caught his eyes Harry smiles a certain kind of knowing smile and I know he hasn't forgotten.
"I would go if Hermione goes too."
"Yeah Hermione, you better go too I don't care if you have a hearing on that day." and this time I faced Ron.
"Of course, I would be there." I told Ron as I tucked a stray curl behind my ear and continued eating. I know now, I'd have to give an answer...to the both of them.I can't keep myself strangled by red threads.
"Merlin's beard Hermione! Did you cut your hair?" Reaching out self-consciously to the still long strands that used to reach my waist and now just fell above my bosom...I turned to smile at Ron.
"I thought it was time for a change...split ends and all."
I hear Harry laughing and Ron shrugging. I raised my wine glass and my best friends followed suit.
"To change!"
XXX
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I can chose to stay
But I won't
Time won't wait for me
It's time I decide
I have to be wise
I have to choose
I have but one chance
For finally I've realised,
To avoid what ifs
I must first ask why not
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...
XXX
AN: This is somewhat different from the stories I've previously written. In a way, it's because I've always believe that there are no shortcuts, everything has been leading up to points, decisions and choices. We don't automatically decide, we rationalise and such takes time. Hence is how and why I wrote the story.
Once again this has an open ending, because life has no endings everything keeps on changing.
And yeah this is a late fic~response to JK's comment about Ron and Hermione.
Review.