The Pseudo Girlfriend Agency

A Sasu-Hina Fanfiction

Summary : "Thank you for calling the Pseudo Girlfriend Agency! Want a fake date ? A fake girlfriend ? A fake wife ? You name the type of fake and we'll do our best to save your namesake !" Professional faking at its best./AU/

Disclaimer : I don't own the anime. I won't own the anime. I will never own the anime. Yeeeaah.

Teaser

"I'm getting married."

Sasuke looked up from his laptop towards the doorway of his room. Itachi was leaning against the door, a glass of orange juice in his hand.

"The fuck ?" He asked, clearly dumbstruck by the statement said earlier. He stared open mouthed at his brother, who was busy texting someone with his unoccupied hand.

"Don't look at me like that." Itachi grimaced, tucking his phone in back pocket of his track pants and took a sip from his glass.

"Why ? Are you getting horny ? You do look ravishing." Sasuke stated, the expression on his face neutral, even though he felt like dancing and grinning at the way his brother choked on his juice.

"Excuse me ?!" Itachi squawked.

"Excused." Sasuke replied, turning back to his laptop, finishing the last remaining bits of his assignment.

"I wish they wouldn't give you any more vacations. I've had enough of you and your childish sense of humor. Just go back to university, already."

"You're just jealous."

"Of you ?"

"Yes."

"Hah. Spare me the horror."

"That's gonna be difficult."

"Oh really ?"

"Yeah. Because you're getting married to the spawn of Satan. Horror's gonna be pretty big part of your life now."

Sasuke chuckled and looked at Itachi, his teeth shining like diamonds.

With that said, Itachi chucked the almost empty glass at his younger brother, forgetting about the fact that their mother would kill the both of them if anything stained the carpeted floor.

"You are despicable." Sasuke grumbled, wiping off the orange juice dripping from his hair.

"I gladly accept that title." Itachi poked his younger brother's forehead and walked away, pausing at the door.

"By the way.. We're meeting her for lunch. Be ready by twelve."

Itachi shut the door behind him and Sasuke sighed to himself. He washed his face, tried to get the remaining juice out of his hair and was successful after his fourth attempt.

He plopped down on his bed and grabbed his phone from the bedside table. He dialed a number and waited for the person on the other line to pick up.

"The idiotic, whipped weasel is finally combining his powers of being a dork with the powers of the psycho, possessed and demonic hyena."

"Uh.. How may I help you, sir?"

"Naruto ? You sound really.. Pathetic."

"You must have dialed the wrong number, sir. This is the reception at the PGA."

"PGA ?"

"Oh, my bad. Thanks for calling at the Pseudo Girlfriend Agency, sir. Want a fake date ? A fake girlfriend ? A fake wife ? You name the type of fake and we'll do our best to save your namesake ! I'm Ino, your attendant for the duration of this call. Please state your reason for calling as well as the type of female you would like. We have recently launched an offer whi-"

Sasuke hung up.

He stared wide-eyed at the screen of his cell phone. Pseudo girlfriend agency ? Why would anyone require fake dates.. Or even fake wives ?!

He pinched the bridge of his nose and got back to his assignment on 'Erratic Behavioral Analysis : The Thoughts Of A Criminal'. He could really link the situation that just took place with the assignment he was working on. He brushed the memory of the phone call away. He had no time for girlfriends, neither real nor got up from the bed and went to take a shower.

After all, he stank of sweat, morning breath and oranges.

Ino sighed and cut the call. She looked towards her right and poked the girl beside her.

"Hey, Hinata? Could you please pass me the 'Freaky Caller Fine' jar please..? I just had another one who freaked out within the first five minutes. He'd dialed the wrong number, I guess." Ino grinned and put a bill inside the glass jar. Hinata took the jar back from her and put it underneath the reception's desk.

"You shouldn't make fun of the guy, Ino-chan." Hinata scolded, packing up for the day and got up from her seat.

"Yeah yeah. Anyway.. Are you finished with your psychology homework ? Could I like, borrow it please?" Ino gave her the puppy dog eyed look, stretching out the vowels in the word 'Please'.

They both walked towards the elevator, waving goodbyes to the people who had the afternoon shift.

"Ino-chan, we just had a two-week break from the University. I thought you're already done with the work!" Hinata whined, slumping against the wall.

"You know I hate doing homework ! Especially psychology. I mean, we're practically adults now ! Why do the professors have this constant need of making our lives Hell ? We aren't like, high schoolers anymore!" Ino complained, entering the elevator behind Hinata and pressing the button for the ground floor.

"You had two weeks to complete your work, Ino-chan. Fourteen days. Three hundred and thirty six hours. Twenty thousand, one hundred and fifty minutes." Hinata stated, crossing her arms and smiling with her teeth shining.

"Shut up, Hinata. How would I know that's correct ?" Ino huffed, blowing a strand of her platinum blonde hair from her eyes.

"You're right. It's actually twenty thousand, one hundred and sixty minutes." Hinata replied, tapping her chin with her finger.

"You're a bizarre know-it-all." Ino stuck her tongue out to the other girl.

"You are despicable." The lavender-eyed girl replied, amusement evident in her tone.

"I gladly accept that title." Ino laughed, grabbing hold of her best friend's hand and leading her out of the elevator.

"So, when is the wedding?" He asked, shaking the salt and pepper dispensers in obvious boredom.

"Two months from now! Isn't it exciting? We're going to have the wedding of our dreams!" Temari squealed, clapping her hands in glee.

"The wedding of your dreams, huh ? I remember now. Itachi, where is that doll house of you-"

Itachi stomped on Sasuke's foot underneath the table. Sasuke yelped and flipped him the bird, earning a small laugh from the blonde in front of him.

"A doll house ? Aww.. Itachi, you never told me !" Temari cooed, looking at her fiancé with obvious amusement.

"I was four!" Itachi said, irritation leaking from his voice.

"You were seven." Sasuke chuckled and imitated a seven-year old Itachi.

"I'm gonna get mawwied in this castle one day, mamma. To the gwirl of my dweams !"

Sasuke and Temari both erupted in shrieks of laughter, ignoring the grumbling guy beside them.

"Anyway, speaking of the wedding, I hope you're bringing your girlfriend ?" Temari asked, looking smugly at Sasuke.

"Girlfriend? What girlfriend ?" Sasuke asked, looking at Itachi and Temari both.

"He was dropped once when he was an infant. Unfortunately, he landed on his head." Itachi explained to his fiancé, throwing smirk towards Sasuke.

"Didn't you tell us that you'd met a girl ? In university ? Last semester ? Unless she came to you in your dreams." Itachi continued, his suspicions rising.

Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat.

'Crap. How could have I forgotten about that?'

"Uh.. Yeah.. I do have a girlfriend.. Whom I met in university.. Last year. She's a girl. I mean.. Whatever." Sasuke said, smiling in a weird manner.

"That's great ! So she's going to come with you to meet all of us, get to know each one of us.. And then she could be my maid of honor!" Temari smiled slyly.

'Well, that escalated quickly.'

"I'm not sure if she could come.." Sasuke avoided his brother's eyes and looked straight towards the approaching waiter.

"Why ?" Temari questioned sincerely. Not.

"Because.. She.. Uh.." Sasuke couldn't think of any suitable excuse. He sighed and ran his hands through his hair.

"Because she doesn't exist, Tem-Tem." Itachi completed for him, looking at his younger brother straight in the eye.

"She does exist !" Sasuke shouted, not realizing that it was pretty out of character for him.

"Oh really ? Then why don't you bring her over to meet us? During Christmas break ?" Itachi challenged, his smirk mocking Sasuke.

"Fine. And I promise you this, elder brother, that everyone, everyone, is going to love her." Sasuke glared, banging the table with his fists.

"We'll see." Itachi smirked and glared right back at him.

"Now, now. Let's all try to be a happy family." Temari said, waving her hands between the both of them.

Sasuke bid goodbye to his elder brother before proceeding towards the security check. After all the checks and the ticket confirmations, he finally settled down in his seat and handed his cabin baggage to the air hostess who was shamelessly thrusting her chest into his face.

He looked towards the small window beside him, waiting for his flight to take off. He was going back to Konoha University for his second semester.

He shifted in his seat and thought about what had taken place a few days ago.

"Oh really ? Then why don't you bring her over to meet us? During Christmas break ?"

"Fine. And I promise you this, elder brother, that everyone, everyone, is going to love her."

He was stuck. He knew he had to get a suitable female companion who could put up with his needs before the end of this semester.

He did have a plan though.

He would find a girl who wasn't even remotely interested in him. He would ask for a favor, negotiate with money, tuitions, alcohol and other stuff. Then, he would take her to meet his parents, act all 'lovey dovey' with her during the week and then finally kiss goodbye to all this shit.

But where would he find this girl ?

He looked towards the entrance of the plane and checked around for any hostess or attendant.

He unlocked his phone and tapped the icon of 'Call History'. His thumbs hovered over a certain number, the very same number he'd accidently given a call to. He pressed the call button and brought his phone to his ears.

"Thank you for calling the Pseudo Girlfriend Agency. You name the type of fake and we'll do our best to save your namesake !"

"Uh.. Yeah. I would like a pseudo-girlfriend, please."

Please review, everyone ! There's this little box here, you know.. ;)

This was just the teaser. If I get love, I'll wrap it up in my words and give it right back to you !

Take my kisses, dear readers. :* :D