Part One of my AU series. I'll post the next chapter tomorrow.

Be lovely, please review, and I hope you survive the hiatus.

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Enjoy

She gripped his fingers tighter, hyper-aware of the cold flesh between her palms. The unmoving muscles that she yearned to see twitching to life. Even as she ran her thumb over the back of his hand, she received no response. His skin was so dry. She would have to remember to bring hand cream for him. Was she even allowed to bring hand cream into a hospital?

She tried to take a steadying breath, but it came in raggedly, filling her belly again and again, making her more and more light-headed. She had to focus; focus on something—anything. There was only one sound. The steady beeping was a constant reminder of the man lying before her, pale and unmoving.

She wanted to speak—they told her to speak to him—but her throat was dry and raw, as if she had been crying or screaming for days. Even when she closed her eyes and pushed words to the surface, they were quiet and breathy.

"Tony," she cleared her throat again "you missed work again. You did not miss much, though. We caught a case early this morning, but it was not very interesting. A Marine Sergeant was found bludgeoned to death in his living room. Ducky determined that a golf club was used, so McGee and I searched for the murder weapon. We found his wife in the kitchen, sitting on a stool, drinking a glass of bourbon, with the golf club at her side." She released a breath of laughter. "Apparently, she found out that he was cheating on her while he was overseas. She turned herself in." She thought for a moment before saying, "I can understand the urge to get revenge, but I would not have been so forthcoming about his death. If a man ever cheated on me, they would not find the body." She fell silent, watching his face for any sign of life. His skin was so pale, the muscles of his face relaxed and unchanging. Her lip quivered as she looked over his face, struggling to blink away all emotions. "I know you would have laughed at that." It didn't work; she couldn't hold back. All she saw was him, still and pale, lying in this hospital bed and it broke her heart to think of it: her partner—her best friend—so…weak. With a shaky breath she made a desperate plea. "Please laugh, Tony."

The steady beeping responded.

"Miss David?"

She sniffled in surprise at the sudden presence in the room, but didn't turn around. It was just another nurse, like all the others who'd passed through here, checking on the monitors and clearing away the mess from the day. So mechanical, so cold.

"Visiting hours are nearly over."

She was gone before Ziva could mumble a 'thank you' over her shoulder, her eyes never leaving Tony. She stared at him a moment longer before sighing. This still felt so surreal and she couldn't shake the desire that this was all a cruel prank. She wouldn't put it past the man to put her through hell for the sake of a joke. Actually, that was a lie. Tony didn't do things when he knew they would hurt her.

"Please let this be a joke," she quietly pleaded. With a quick squeeze of his hand to gather her courage, she plastered a gentle smile on her face. "I'll be by tomorrow. You better be awake next time I see you. You're lousy company like this." Still no response. She sighed as she stood. "Good night, Tony." Her hand was the last to leave his, unconsciously clinging to him.

In the doorway, she met the doctor, prompting her to ask the most ridiculous question she'd ever spoken: "How is he?" She chided herself for daring to ask. Of course she knew how he was; she'd just spent the last two hours holding his hand, subtly checking his pulse and praying that there would be a change in his condition.

"He's still stable but there's been no improvement. He still has severe brain damage."

"That's from before," she snorted.

The doctor stared back at her, unblinking. "Miss David, if Mr. DiNozzo has suffered any previous major injuries you need to tell me." His scolding tone suggested that he wasn't joking and she choked on air in an effort not to laugh at his stern expression.

"I was merely making a joke, doctor, I apologize." She tried to sound professional and honest but she was biting her lip—hard—to keep from smiling. Tony would have loved to hate this man just because it would be so easy to mess with him. Thoughts of her partner lying in bed, alone, unchanging, brought her crashing back to reality. "You were saying, doctor?"

The man glared at her for a moment before continuing, his bushy eyebrows covering most of his eyes. How does he even see where he's going? she could hear Tony's voice in her head and she struggled to quiet him. The last thing she needed was to be constantly distracted at work by a mini-Tony sitting on her shoulder, making dirty jokes and reminding her why he wasn't there in person.

"As I was saying, there is severe brain damage, but in the state he's in, his body is healing well. I'm hopeful that he'll make a full recovery in time."

"When?" Dear god, she sounded so desperate.

"I really can't say, Miss David. Now if you'll excuse me." And another staff member was gone without another word. Everything moved so quickly around her, as if the world slowed around her to prolong her personal suffering.

She looked back at Tony, watched the doctor and his nurse check his vital information. He looked so small in that bed, so pale against the white sheets. Even with the doctor giving the information to her face, she could scarcely believe what was happening. She suddenly felt the overwhelming need to be anywhere but inside this hospital, her head spinning with the desire, strong and pulling.

With one last look at her partner, she left the room, bringing the echoes of steady beeping with her.