A week had gone by since James kicked Kaiden out of his life and things were not going smoothly. He began going out drinking to get his mind off of her and he would come home and drink more. The house was dark all the time and you could feel the sadness and anger hanging in the air. It was finally when James' postman came to the door did James finally snap out of his daze. He opened the door looking haggard and reeking of alcohol.

"What?" He snapped.

"Uh, I was just checking on you. Your mail box is over filling, it appears you haven't checked your mail in about a week now. Just here to uh, give it to you." The postman handed James his stack of mail nervously and quickly left. James sighed as he closed the door and took the mail to the living room. He started sorting through it and found a letter from Kendall.

Stupid fucking letter.

He opened it anyway.

James,

James, I'm so so so so so so so so sorry! I can't believe she would do something like that after being with you for so long! I can't understand the way you're feeling right now brother. I feel so bad. Just know that I'm here for you, please don't forget that. Please don't ever forget that I'm here for you. Please.

James stopped reading. He couldn't handle it anymore.

Everyone acts like they care. They'll just leave you for someone better. Because everyone is better than you. You're just a low life has-been who can't land a fucking job. Worthless piece of shit.

He got up from the couch, mail falling to the ground, and went to his medicine cabinet in the bathroom. He couldn't handle the way he was feeling. He constantly felt like he was being punched in the gut while someone was trying to eat his heart out of his chest. He was done feeling that way. He decided enough was enough and picked up a bottle of Vicodin he had from when he got his wisdom teeth pulled. James took two of the pills and went to sleep.

James woke up feeling almost refreshed and happy, until he looked around the living room and realized how empty it still was.

What time is it? Oh wow, it's only 8:00? I haven't been asleep that long... Monday? How could it be Monday? I thought it was Sunday...

James realized he had slept for a whole day. He sighed with disappointment and went to get a shot from the kitchen. He needed something to wake himself up. He went back to the living room and looked at the pile of mail on the floor. He finished reading Kendall's letter and shook his head when it was nothing but Kendall apologizing, telling him how much he loved James, and how James could write him anytime if he needed anything.

Kendall,

I just want to be left alone. Please.

James' drinking continued every night and he soon formed an almost addiction like craving for Vicodin. He knew exactly that what he was doing was wrong but it made him forget about Kaiden, so why wouldn't he keep doing it?

He received letters from Kendall almost weekly for a month, but never replied. He was never conscience enough to reply. He had hundreds of missed calls and unread texts from Carlos and Logan worried about him.

It was a cold November night when James heard a knock at his door. He was sitting on his couch, half conscience, wearing a dirty tank top that he hadn't changed in probably four days, dirty pajama bottoms, his hair was a mess, and he had terrible five o clock shadow. The knocking persisted and James couldn't handle it anymore when the annoying unwelcomed visitor started ringing the door bell.

"What do you want?" James asked angrily answered the door with a bottle of Jack Daniel's in his hand. Before him stood his three best friends. They all looked concerned at the sight of their friend looking like he had just been hit by a train.

"James... may we come in?" Logan asked quietly. James glared and swung the door open for his friends. The three boys walked in and were hit in the face with a warm smell of whiskey and tv dinner containers that had been sitting in the overflowing garbage can for who knows how long.

"Why are you here?" James asked as he took his regular seat on his couch. Carlos looked around almost sad.

"We're here for you. You haven't been in contact with any of us in over a month, we're worried about you! And we were right to be." Kendall replied with an almost angry look.

James glared at his friend. "There's nothing to be -"

"Don't finish that sentence. Look, obviously you're not dealing with this break up well..." Logan interjected.

"Would you deal with it well!?" Carlos jumped back. "How would you deal with it if you bought an eight thousand dollar engagement ring for a girl and then you find out she's sending naked pictures to people!?" James shouted. The boys were silent. Kendall walked over to James and sat next to him. His friend looked sick, like he wasn't eating and losing weight.

"We're here for you-"

"Oh shut up." James angrily cut him off.

Kendall sighed and looked at Logan looking for answers, he always had answers. Logan gave him a look back as to say he had no idea what to do.

"Why haven't you been talking to any of us?" Carlos asked shyly. James looked at him like he just wanted them to leave.

"Why would I be? Why would anyone want to talk to me? What's the point?" He trailed

"We love you!" Carlos almost shouted angrily. He was astonished that his friend could think they didn't want to talk to him or not care about him.

"Now I want you to tell me right now what you've been doing this past month that is more important than talking to us!" Everyone looked at Carlos shocked. They almost never saw him this way, so demanding.

James rolled his eyes. "Well, I've been drinking-"

"Obviously." Came out of Kendall's mouth.

"Shut up, or I will make you leave." James shot him a glare. "And uh, I don't know. I've been sleeping a lot. I guess." Logan could sense something was wrong.

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why have you been sleeping so much?"

"To get over this! What else am I supposed to do?"

"That's not what I meant and you know that. Don't act stupid, I know you're not." Logan sighed, he was starting to get annoyed.

"Vicodin." James replied sheepishly. He knew there was no point in hiding anything from his friends, they would find out sooner or later and it would just be easier for everyone to tell them all now. He could feel all the disappointed eyes focusing on him.

"That's it." Kendall stood up. "You're coming home with me. That's final. You need to get the hell away from this place and come home. Let's go, go back your shit." He didn't mean to sound so rude to his friend, but he was angry. And he had every right to be. James was slowly killing himself and didn't talk to any of his friends about what was going on.

James looked around the room, "Are you serious? I mean, you can't make me go if I don't want to. And I don't want to."

"That's too bad." Logan said, agreeing with Kendall about the plan. James sat stubborn as a mule on the couch, obvious that he wasn't going to get up and pack his stuff. Carlos rolled his eyes and made his way to James' room where he was going to pack all of his friend's belongings for him.