A/N: On 5-11-14, I saw the film. Immediately, I started to make fun of bad Frozen fanfiction cliches. (For the record, I liked the movie.) Yes, I know that it took me two months to write this. I've been busy. Apologies.

"How To Write A Frozen Fanfiction"

by MiscellaneousSoup

Step The First:The film was immensely popular. Therefore, you must make sure to reference the film in your fanfiction.

Example: In prison, Hans had slowly been developing a plan to escape. He would reach through the prison bars…and steal the sleeping guard's keys! To be fair, the plan was simple, but the prison was highly incompetent. He grabbed the key! Unfortunately, his handcuffs were too bulky and he couldn't get the key back into the cell.

His cellmate, Joseph McSmokey, yawned. "Hans, if you want to escape, then you just need to make a different plan. Drop the key. Let it go."

Hans grew angry. His wrath compelled him to sing!

Let it go, I say no!

Can't rot here anymore!

Let it go, I say no!

Run away and slam the door!

Step The Second: Ship the characters with people from other shows. Why? Because ANYTHING can be shipped! ANYTHING! Pencil and paper OTP!

Example: Oscar the Grouch and Elsa sat together in a fancy French restaurant, holding hands.

"Oh, Oscar."

"Oh, Elsa."

"Oh, Oscar."

"Oh, Elsa."

"Oh, Oscar.

"Oh, Elsa."

Step the Third: But you must especially, ESPECIALLY ship Jack Frost, from Rise Of The Guardians, with Elsa. Why? I don't know. I've never seen Rise Of The Guardians.

Example: "Oh, Oscar."

"Oh, Elsa."

"Oh, Oscar."

"Oh, ElsaAACKKKKK…" Jack shoved Oscar's frozen corpse away.

"Oh, Jack."

"Oh, Elsa."

"Oh, Jack."

"Oh, Elsa."

"Oh, Jack."

"Oh, Elsa."

Step The Fourth: The animators put in some characters from Tangled as a joke. Therefore, you must write a crossover between the two films.

Example: Elsa and Anna were on a relaxing jaunt to the library. On the way, they passed by Eugene and Rapunzel.

"Hi, Rapunzel!" Elsa said.

Rapunzel waved. "Hi, Anna!"

Anna smiled. "Hi, Eugene."

Eugene waved. "Hi, Elsa!"

It took them seven hours to finish greeting each other. By the time they were done, the library had closed. This happens every day.

"Oh, Elsa."

Step The Fifth: Combine every example at once.

Example: "Oh, Elsa."

"Oh, Jack."

"Oh, Elsa."

"Oh, Jack."

Rapunzel walked in. "Hi, Elsa!"

"Hi, Rapunzel."

"Hi, Jack."

"Hi, Rapunzel."

"Oh, Elsa."

"Oh, Jack."

Oscar The Grouch walked in. "Hi, Elsa! Please take me back! I beg of you! It's the only way that I'll be happy!"

"Shut up, Oscar."

Anna walked in. "Hi, Rapunzel! Hi, Elsa!"

"Hi, Anna."

"Hi, Anna."

"Hi, Anna."

"Hi, Oscar."

"Anna, please ask your sister to reconsider me."

"Just let it go, Oscar."

"Let it go? LET IT GO?

Can't bear this heartbreak anymore!

Let it go? LET IT GO?

I'm moving to Ohio!"

"Hi, Oscar."

"Hi, Flynn."

"Hi, Anna."

"Hi, Anna."

"SHUT UP! Just shut up!" Grunkle Stan walked in. "I've been trying to sleep for the past two days! For the last time, this is not a restaurant! I don't know who you people are or why you've been camping out on my lawn, but I don't care! Just leave me alone! Man, I hate winter." He stumbled back into the Mystery Shack, grumbling.

THE END