Disclaimer: I own none of the characters, they're all property of their respective owners and I mean no infringement, etc. I have no money so don't sue. Please do not take any part or portion of my writing. If you would like to ask me about it, contact me at [email protected].

This is an alternate universe, obviously, because soaps move so fast there would be no way to keep up with most of anything. I will try to throw in things if they fit with the way this story is going and they're major changes I'd like to use. The relative timeline is this story would start about now; a few weeks after Jason and Brenda's marriage. And sorry Journey fans: Mrs. Stripper Quartermaine doesn't exist here. Well, maybe she moved to Manhattan with her loving husband, who knows. She ain't here. And that's the end of that chapter. :)

I really live off reviews and probably wouldn't keep writing if no one was reading so I would appreciate your feedback. If your sole goal is to blast or flame, though, don't bother. Don't you have something better to do with your time? Plant a tree. :)

Hard to Handle

You Make Me Sick

Brenda stared out the window that looked at the water. She wished she could just go to her cottage but there were so many memories there. It was best to stay cool and detached, here, in Jason's apartment. He was across the hall with Sonny at the moment, talking about what to do next.

Luis said he would leave her alone if she made up her mind. He talked and talked to her about keeping her from hurting the people she loved, taking care of her and never leaving her side. He almost turned her mind to believe him. But something had stopped her from going with him; she had thought of Jax, bleeding in her arms. She knew she would never be able to look at Luis any other way than the way she saw him pointing that gun at Jax.

So she had told him no, of sound mind and calm tone. And he hadn't accepted that. Luis had grabbed her, he had growled something to her but it was all running together and his grip was biting into her skin. She thought he just might kill her. He had taken her to some warehouse and chained her down. Instead of being so cool and collected as he usually was, calling his jet to be brought at once, he had nearly lost it, telling her he would never let her go. Days past as she sit in wait to see if he had really gone off the deep end. Maybe he would kill her. She just didn't know anymore.

At some point, Sonny's guards had found them in the warehouse. They took Luis away and she was glad, even though she knew what they were going to do. Sonny had appeared just as one of his other guards helped her out and by the look in his eyes, she knew he was going to kill Luis.

Now she was back in the penthouse. Her arms were still bruised as she hugged herself, waiting in the silent room. She wasn't sure what for. What was she doing in Port Charles? She could be on a plane that evening. She could ask Jason just to take her to the clinic in Europe and simply leave her. It would probably help a lot of people. But her heart was crying to her to stay.

The water was calm; she mildly snickered to herself. Sometimes she wished if the sickness would just hurry up and kill her, all her problems would be over with.

The door opened and she turned to see Jason slowly enter before facing the window again. His footsteps came closer until he was near and he waited. The silence dragged out but she couldn't stop the tear that escaped her eye and slid down her face.

Jason's gaze found the ground. "I'm sorry."

Brenda absently wiped her face and tried to casually straighten herself. "For what?"

He looked at her then, trying to look strong in front of him after she had been assaulted by that sociopath Alcazar. She was always doing that. He used to think it was just being stubborn but he was seeing it now as something else. It was a defense mechanism and it probably worked on most people. But he could see right through it.

"For not being here. To protect you," he clarified his apology.

Brenda shrugged and he knew it probably didn't bother her because they didn't mean a great deal to each other. But it was his job and he had failed. It meant something to him.

He noticed the bruises on her arms and carefully pulled them apart to take a closer look. It made her face him and she acted bored with his inspection of her injuries. He found a light gash on the outer side of her left arm and dried blood that she must not have noticed during the struggle.

Jason walked away and returned with a first aide kit, settling on the couch.

"Come here," he instructed as he emptied the kit.

"I'm fine," she nearly rolled her eyes, wanting to be left alone.

"I said come here," Jason repeated firmly. She exhaled loudly and went to the couch, letting him take her arm and turn it to clean the blood. They sat in silence as he cleared all the blood away.

Brenda studied him as he worked; he was trying to fix it. He had messed up and that bothered him.

"Did they kill him?" she murmured suddenly and Jason looked up to meet her eyes. Her expression was curious but he couldn't read it more than that.

"What do you want to do?" he asked, simply.

She looked down, away from his clear, penetrating eyes. He was asking. She knew he wanted a 'yes' or 'no' but she didn't know what to say. She couldn't make decisions about someone's life like that.

Brenda gently shook her head and murmured, "I don't know."

He had gone back to bandage the wound, setting one over the gash. He knew she would say that. Brenda would not kill someone if she had the chance; even someone as terrible as Luis Alcazar. That's why he and Sonny were there.

Jason had finished her bandage and sat back a little. "Are you hurt anywhere else?"

"I don't think so," she murmured.

He nodded and stood. "You should go to sleep."

Brenda looked up at him and knew where he was going. He was going to finish Luis. She nodded to appease him and he left the apartment. The silence left behind hung heavy in the air and she knew she would not get a moment of sleep that night.

Jason carefully shut the door behind himself in the pitch black penthouse. It had been hours since he left. He and two other guards of Sonny's drove Alcazar far out of town. Sonny called while they were out; he said Marco could hear Brenda hadn't stopped crying all night.

"What, over Alcazar?" Jason had asked with disgust.

"No," Sonny replied. Sonny knew it wasn't over Alcazar; she was probably lost now. She wouldn't know what to do without that one pillar she had used to fall back on for the past four years. Sonny had wanted to go himself; it was only a few steps across the hall; but he knew he couldn't. So he called Jason. Jason had to be that pillar for Brenda now.

"Look, who knows why she's upset? You should get back, though," Sonny went on, casually. Jason agreed and he left the guards to finish Alcazar, ordering there to be no mistakes - one shot to the head to finish him.

On his way back he had gone over what the future held. Their problems weren't over with the end of Alcazar. He was sure to have friends who would begin asking questions, possibly seek revenge for the money they would lose from Alcazar no longer supplying arms. But that had to wait to worry about later, if it ever came. The immediate threat was finally gone.

Making sure his shoes made no noise, he cautiously stepped up the stairs. He saw the guest room door was ajar which was unusual; Brenda usually shut and locked her door. He edged it open to peek inside and he found the dark room quiet. Seeing the bed, he found it was empty.

Jason quickly came to attention and his eyes scanned the room. She was not there. He turned and rushed to his own room, just to check, and found that was empty as well.

Jason came down the steps, knowing she had to be in the house somewhere. At least, he hoped as much. Even though Alcazar was gone, there were still the other possible threats. Anything could happen.

As he glanced aside he stopped suddenly, seeing a figure in the corner of the living room. Quietly, he came down the stair and walked behind the pool table to see her sitting upon the floor. She was slumped against the wall near the window, her body leaning into the wall, holding her upright.

She slept lightly, as though by accident. While she looked peaceful, her position sitting looked uncomfortable and he knew he couldn't leave her on the floor there.

Jason knelt next to her and murmured as he touched her arm, "Brenda."

She woke with a bit of surprise but his heavy hand on her arm was there to steady and calm her. When she saw it was him, composed as always, her heart stopped its fearful pounding.

Jason stood and helped her sleepily get to her own feet. She started to slowly walk, her eyes heavy and the sleep still upon her, and Jason sighed as he watched her sluggishly move. She probably had not slept in days. Luis had held her in the warehouse for three days and he was sure she had probably been on her guard the entire time.

"I'm going to help you," he cautioned before he reached forth and lifted her in his arms.

With delayed response she made a sound of, "Mmm?" after he had set her up and was already carefully ascending the stairs. Her heavy head was dropping to rest on his shoulder when he came into the guest room and lay her down upon the bed. She rolled into the pillow immediately and uttered no other sound. She was fast asleep.

Jason shook his head a little at the ease with which she fell into sleep. She was now truly peaceful in her slumber. He turned and let her be, silently closing the door behind himself.

Brenda pushed the food on her plate as she sat in the living room, eating at the coffee table. She glanced at Jason at his desk as he worked and the thunder from the storm outside echoed in the silence of the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked and his head came up slightly.

"You asked me that five minutes ago."

"Yeah, that was five minutes ago; I thought you might be doing something else."

"I'm not."

"Still balancing the books," she murmured, sliding the potatoes on her plate from one side to the other. She set her fork down with a heavy exhale. "Can we please go somewhere?"

"Go somewhere?" he repeated with indifference.

"Can we go to the movies?"

"No."

"What about to eat somewhere?"

"You just ate," he muttered, never raising his head.

"Let's go to a museum or something."

"No."

"Let's take a walk!"

"It's raining."

Brenda stood with frustration. "I'm going crazy in here! I've been in this penthouse for nearly a week straight without getting out. I do nothing all day but play pool and stare outside at all the other people who can walk around like normal human beings! You have no television or anything that can keep me occupied. What am I supposed to do all day?"

"I don't care!" he snapped.

Brenda glared at him as he ignored her and went about his work.

Fine.

He noticed vaguely that she stormed upstairs but that was all the thought he gave to it. Time past; half an hour; until he heard her again. Her steps were heavy and he could tell she was wearing heels.

She came down the stairs but he didn't cast a glance her way until her determined steps walked directly past him, toward the door.

Jason looked over and saw her then. She had changed into a long, black evening dress that exposed her smooth back completely. He couldn't see the front but he was sure it wouldn't be decent judging from the back of it.

"Hey!" he snapped. "What do you think you're doing?"

"Going out," she replied casually, never faltering from her exit as she returned the curt answers he so readily gave her earlier.

"Like Hell," he rebutted, standing with purpose.

He grabbed her hand causing her to half turn back and he was allowed to see the front of her dress then. He wasn't disappointed. The deep V at the center revealed a generous show of smooth skin and soft hints of curves. He realized he had inspected it a moment too long and looked up to meet her waiting eyes. In the second that he was nearly stunned, she had the chance to snap her wrist out of his hold and go for the door.

Brenda pulled the door open and Marco glanced over from his standout next to the elevator. Jason had already come back and moving, though and she was only to the exit before his arm locked around her waist.

"Hey!" she snapped, pushing at the vice that was his arm. She saw Marco watching with indecision and she called to him. "Hey! Marco! A little help here?"

Jason hauled her back as she pushed against him until he kicked the door closed and released her. They glared at one another for a long moment, he now blocking the door.

"I have to get out of here!" she exclaimed. "I am going crazy here."

"Why don't you just calm down?"

"I can't! I can't live like this!"

Jason watched her disappear up the stairs and he suddenly wasn't sure what she was going there to do. He hurried upstairs himself and found her room empty. He turned into his room and she was kneeling on floor next to his bed, pawing underneath it.

He pulled her up in his arms, growling, "What are you looking for?"

"Anything; I don't care!" she threw back.

"You can't just go out whenever you feel like throwing a fit, Brenda!" he snapped.

"Hey! News flash, Jason: You don't own me just because I live here!"

"Yeah, and you think I'm going to let you just walk out looking like that?"

Brenda feigned shock and took a step back, teasingly replying, "What? You don't like it?"

He answered a little too quickly with a look of distaste. "No."

"Yeah right," she muttered in disbelief, glancing aside.

Jason shook his head with "Whatever," and started off.

"What do you expect me to do, Jason?" she stopped him. "You tell me to wait for you before I can go out and then you won't even let me go out when you're here! I'm not going to stay in here for another night; I will find some way out."

Jason controlled his breathing as he glared at the ground. She was trying to drive him mad; he concluded that much. She was standing there in that dress that hugged her sleek frame, yelling at him. She was flushed with anger and it made her positively glow.

"How about the window?" she challenged, now so crazy with anger she was babbling. "I could climb out the window and crawl along the ledge. I might fall to my death but at least I wouldn't be trapped in here!"

"Shut up- if you would just stop talking for five seconds-"

"Oh, what? Am I bothering you?? Are you growing frustrated with your surroundings? Do you feel like you're going crazy?!"

Incredibly, he felt a little more than that. She was screaming at him in that dress and he didn't do it consciously, but he suddenly realized she was gorgeous in it. Then he started to react...

Without another word, he turned and left as quickly as possible.

"Jason! Don't you leave me here!" she yelled from upstairs as he slammed the door shut behind himself and made sure to lock it from the outside. Marco was watching and Jason faced him.

"Under no circumstances does she come out. I don't care if she's screaming, crying, kicking or pulling her hair out - if you open that door even once, you're fired."

Marco nodded with understanding and Jason entered the elevator, hitting the button and trying to escape his penthouse and Brenda in that dress as quickly as possible.