Hiya everyone, welcome to my second chaptered fan fiction! YAY! I am still very new to writing fan fiction, having only started writing my first one entitled "What does not kill us makes us stronger" a few weeks ago (which you should definitely check out), so please be gentle. Anyways, this is very different to that one...it is going to be alot sadder as I wanted to write a story about how someone would grieve and how, through a series of events, they learn that they have never truly lost that person (cheerful I know)

Pairing - PHAN (even-though it is not necessarily be real, their relationship provides me with a brilliant chemistry that gives me lots of fictional inspiration)

Warning - will be quite sad at times, lotsa feelz...

Disclaimer - I do not own any of the characters in this story and the opinions and scenarios expressed are entirely fictional.

So, strap yourselves in for (hopefully) an emotional roller coaster that will have you reaching for the tissues and possibly a defibrillator (if you suffer from feelz)

Prologue - His last vow...

Dan POV:

"Please! There must be something you can do," I cry, a waterfall of tears cascading from my drowning eyes. "Oh god, no…help him!" I pound my fists against the glass of the ICU unit; my love fading in front of my eyes.

"Sir, please, they are doing everything they can, you must understand," the short, stocky nurse assured, attempting to pull me away from the window; attempting to pull my gaze from him. Please…god, if you are up there…please save him…

"PHIIIIIIIIIIL! Please! What are you doing to him….save him!" I scream, the lump in my throat choking me. I turn frantic and rush towards the doors, but PJ grabs onto my shoulders, paralyzing me. "What are you doing? Let go of me! I have to see him…I have to help him…it's my fault…PLEASE!" My desperate cries turn to pained wails as I am pulled from the doors, my arms flailing at the door handles.

"Dan, stop, there is nothing you can do, let the doctors do their jobs!" he insists, releasing his grip from my arms, giving me a stern, but sorrowful expression. I return to my post at the window; the icy cold glass stinging my burning face. I squeeze my eyes shut, praying that this isn't the end, that he can still fight.

I can't do this on my own… Why does it have to be this way? Please don't leave me…I was supposed to spend eternity with you. We were supposed to walk the steps of heaven together, hand in hand, after a lifetime of devotion and passion, emphasized through your deep blue eyes. We have been through so much; the hate, the discrimination; the fear, the frustration, but we still made it…we made it my darling...Please don't let our journey be over; there is still so much history that is yet to be written; still so much poetry…our sonnet cannot be over…not now…not ever….

I hear the monotone beep and my world stops. Flat line…

My eyes are ripped out and my lungs are torched; that fiery passion in my soul extinguished, leaving me cold; my legs are broken and my throat burns. A sorrowful crescendo escapes my lips as I crumble to my knees; swallowed by the ground beneath me. No…No…NO!

"PHIIIIIIIL!" I wail, my tears like acid, burning my cheeks. I haul my broken form from the cold ground, pulling myself into the gates of hell, the dark silhouettes behind me not bothering to stop me this time. "No….y-you b-astards…you MURDERERS!" I scream, as my feel my insides being scalded by the sight before me.

"Please, we tried everything we could, but his injuries were far too severe, there was nothing we could do," I hear one of the doctors recite, his voice cold and methodical, before they all skulk out of the room, like the grim reapers they are. I run to my loves bedside, his body lifeless; the colors of life drained from him as I take hold of his hand for the last time.

"Why…Phil, you had so much to look forward to…w-we had so much to look forward to," I weep. "Please…please don't leave me…I can't do this alone…" I trail off, burying my head into his chest, muffling my cries.

"D-Dan? Is he…" I lift my head slightly, making out the silhouette of PJ at the door. I shake my head, my face pulled into a grimace of grief as I break down. I see PJ put his hand over his gaping mouth as a stream of tears stain his cheeks, before he makes his way towards me, placing a comforting hand on my quivering shoulders.

"W-Why…w-why PJ?" I sob turning to face him; his eyes reflecting my own sorrow and pain; my mind a tornado of stumbling phrases and empty words of worry.

"I-I…," he mumbles before pulling me into a tight embrace, sharing his grief with my own; swirling our sorrow together to muffle out the deafening silence that has replaced the chorus of machinery; the machinery that signaled that my flame was still burning. Gone.

I glance back over to Phil, my Phil, the brilliance of his once blue eyes replaced by a sickening grey; the crimson in his smile dulled; faded into a pale white. I can't do this…this cannot be... I pull away from PJ and pull myself onto the bed to lie for the last time next to my love. Pulling his still body closer and wrapping my arms around him, resting his head on my chest; my heart no longer is beating along to his. I press my lips to his forehead one last time; silent tears still falling. I take in his touch; his scent; the feeling of his skin against mine for the final time. The last time.

"I love you…forever and always my love"

The screen fades to black and the credits roll; for even though there is still breath in my body, I am not living anymore…

...well that escalated quickly...

Please feel free to leave a review as I am open to constructive criticism (plus it would be nice to have someone to talk to :) I am hoping to make this quite a long fan fiction...get ready for chapter 1...