Chapter Five

Deep sleep now under skies of pressing dark upon my dress
Watch it turn from white to red under the bone clean moon
I am clinging to this burning, shaking bed.

The journey back to Paris had not been an easy one with the small sounds of suffering near continually coming from Aramis. He would cry out as the cart hit rougher patches of road. Athos was more than glad to get him into a bed at the garrison.

But then a new torture started when the physician arrived. He assured them Aramis would scream but he wouldn't remember it… as if that made it any better. And how he screamed. It had not been an easy job to set the mis-aligned leg. Porthos helped Athos pin the young musketeer to the bed while the physician worked. Aramis screamed, but perhaps it was worse when he found words to beg with… Porthos held his shoulders firmly and looked devastated as Aramis pleaded with him to make it stop. He couldn't. But finally it was over, the splint went on and Aramis fell into a fitful sleep. They all stepped back, relieved and exhausted.

Now Athos sat beside the bed, finding some small enjoyment in the sun's warmth across his knee. He took a sip of wine, not caring what hour of the day it was, he needed it. The physician had checked his head over, put in a few stitches and gave him a draught to dull the pain. Wine simply tasted better.

"We're out…" A rough, tired voice drifted from the bed.

"Indeed we are". Athos allowed himself a small smile at seeing Aramis awake and coherent.

"We're alive…"

"I told you Porthos was coming".

"Where is he?" Aramis turned to look at Athos with a searching gaze.

"Chasing plotters no doubt". Athos took another sip of wine but hurriedly placed the glass down when Aramis started making a move to get up.

"We should… We need to…" The young musketeer winced as he pushed himself up.

Athos pushed him back down. "You're not going anywhere on that leg you fool. You're on leave for now, and I've been granted a week to recover… though no doubt I'm going to spend most of it pinning you to the bed".

Aramis was never one to take inactivity well.

Suddenly his arm flailed out for the wine glass. Athos got to it before Aramis did and placed it out of the way, reaching instead for a glass of water. "Drink some of this, it'll be better for you".

He helped the young musketeer take a sip and sat back in his chair. Aramis glared at him. "You're drinking wine".

"The physician said I should get you to drink some water. He said no such thing about me".

"And since when have you paid attention to the guidance of physicians?"

Athos may have had a reputation for returning to work earlier than recommended too… "Since their advice related to your health, not mine. If you're in pain there's a draught for that, though we gave you enough last night I'm surprised you can feel a thing. It was enough to fell a horse I'm sure".

Aramis' eyes drifted closed for a moment, letting silence fall between them. It wasn't awkward. In a strange way it was comforting… It was reminiscent of the silence in the mine, but shared now without the peril. They took stock of the fact they were alive, that they had survived. The terror had passed. But words were said that could not be unheard. Athos noted his friend did not look peaceful but troubled… Maybe this was the time, maybe in this place of safety he could let a chink of light shine on the darkness of his soul.

"I was married once you know". Athos' throat suddenly felt dry. He took a gulp of wine. "I was… happy. We had a good life together, but she was… She was not what she seemed. It didn't end well".

Aramis cracked open an eye and then turned to Athos, giving him his full attention.

Athos found he couldn't go on. He couldn't tell the truth of the tale and reveal all about the woman who lived in darkness. He couldn't open his soul and let it all out like Pandora's box. He couldn't confess how he had her killed. "I often wonder if things had been different… if the darkness hadn't taken hold… what would my life be? I thought we would have children, I thought we would grow old together".

Aramis seemed to detect how much it cost Athos to bare his soul. His weak, tired voice told it's own story. "I was to be married too, we were only young… I got a girl pregnant, but I loved her, I would have been happy with her. She lost the child and her father took her away to a convent. I never saw her again, though I searched for months… I wonder too what kind of life I might have had. I would be a father and a husband instead of this".

"Do not speak of yourself so. You are a good man Aramis. We have both let the darkness in, and it has taken from both of us… but you cannot let it win. It will become easier to reach into that darkness and soon you will find yourself peering from the darkness. Deny it... There is love in everything if you learn to see it. Despite everything we have lost we have found each other, we are brothers in all but blood. I would not trade that for the world. We can keep each other strong".

Aramis lay back on his pillow, a thousand emotions passed by on his face. His mouth opened but nothing came out… It seemed for once he was lost for words. In the end the young musketeer settled for two. "Athos… thank you".

There was hope at the bottom of Pandora's box after all. You just had to weather the darkness to reach it.

After a moment of quiet Aramis asked a question that made Athos' heart turn cold. "The boy… did you find out his name?"

"Yes... it was Lucero".

Athos half expected Aramis to say a prayer or ask for forgiveness, he was surprised when the young musketeer gave a bitter laugh. His hands turned to fists in the sheets.

"What is it?" Athos raised an eyebrow.

A sad smile painted Aramis' features. "His name is Spanish... it means 'light'".

The young musketeer's shaking fists relaxed, then in a quieter voice he whispered. "And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not..."

~oOo~

Note: I've had such a wonderful response to this fic! Thank you to everybody who has read, followed, favourited and reviewed, you all make me smile :)

This was just a final epiloguey chapter, though I was wondering whether to write a follow up story with the plotters. Unfortunately (or fortunately) another idea has taken me. I finally had a couple of free days and clearly went insane - I've written seven chapters and thousands of words and it's still going... (I must continue to apologise to my Supernatural readers, these damned musketeers won't leave me alone XD). So if you like this brand of angst, keep an eye out for "Prince of a Thousand Enemies"... in fact, I'll give you a quick sneak peek now:

All the world will be your enemy, Prince of a Thousand Enemies. And when they catch you, they will kill you... But first they must catch you.
~ Richard Adams

"They know".

And with those two words the world came crashing down.

Aramis had been roused from sleep by a frantic knocking at his door. The young musketeer blearily threw it open and Athos pushed his way in, those terrible words on his lips. Everything seemed to slow down while Athos rushed about him. Aramis was at the eye of a storm. All thought, all breath, came slowly. They knew... they were coming... Anne? What of Anne?

In contrast Athos rushed about the room, talking without pause, shoving things into bags and throwing clothes at Aramis. Finally he picked up Aramis' weapons and thrust them into the young musketeer's hands. That seemed to snap him back into the world.

"... the Red Guard are coming to arrest you. We have to leave now, I've got your horse ready..." Athos went to the door.

Aramis followed him without thought, and then suddenly he darted back inside.

"Aramis!" Athos hissed. "We have no time!"

But he didn't need time. He dashed to his bedside table and grabbed a small golden cross...